northern_sky Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 (edited) Yup. He's in another serious relationship with a girl he is already saying I love you to, six months after dumping me out of the blue, the girl he said he was going to spend his life with. He met this girl five weeks ago on OKCupid. How do I know? Because I've masochistically logged into his account a few times to read his messages. The strange thing is I've felt 99% over him, up until this very moment, and I think I was genuinely checking up on him out of a mixture of boredom and curiosity, the same way I'll occasionally stalk the fb page of some random acquaintance. I barely even think about him anymore. And I barely felt anything when I read the messages between him and his new girlfriend, partly because I assumed they were only dating casually since both still have their statuses listed as single. Up until now. I read a im conversation between them in which they both said "I love you." He met this girl a month ago online, and he's already telling her he loves her, six months after dumping me and saying he couldn't do a serious relationship with anybody any time in the near future because of his problems. And I believe he really meant it, because he is seriously emotionally screwy. I can't believe he replaced me so fast. I also can't believe he was able to find another relationship like that while I'm struggling to interest guys for more than casual sex. I know I'm a better catch than he is in most respects, yet here I am alone. I'm not like devastated like you might expect, and the fact that I'm not that upset reflects how far I've come, but still…it just stings. And I find it a little shocking. He even used the same terms of endearment for her. This just 100% confirmed my suspicions that I was ultimately disposable to him. I always worried that he fell in love with me too fast and it didn't run very deep. It wasn't really about me as a person. I think if I were in a meaningful relationship right now, this would barely be a blip. But I'm obviously not. A bitter pill indeed. It's strange to feel anything at all. I haven't in so long that I almost forgot what it was like. Edited November 2, 2010 by northern_sky Link to post Share on other sites
Author northern_sky Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 BTW, this is shadowplay, for those who were following my ex saga. Heh. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Take a step back and try to look at this objectively. Your relationship with him was 4 months long, but it's been even longer than that since you broke up. It's been 6 months. So, looking at it objectively: Has it really been "that fast"? And try not to take his feelings for someone else so personally. Do you think he (or any ex, really) would care about the 3+ guys you've slept with since you broke up (that you've posted about)? You made the same declarations of love that he did, and have made giant leaps in your efforts to move on. Do your choices lessen what you once had with him? No. Same goes for him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author northern_sky Posted November 2, 2010 Author Share Posted November 2, 2010 Take a step back and try to look at this objectively. Your relationship with him was 4 months long, but it's been even longer than that since you broke up. It's been 6 months. So, looking at it objectively: Has it really been "that fast"? And try not to take his feelings for someone else so personally. Do you think he (or any ex, really) would care about the 3+ guys you've slept with since you broke up (that you've posted about)? You made the same declarations of love that he did, and have made giant leaps in your efforts to move on. Do your choices lessen what you once had with him? No. Same goes for him. Actually, come to think of it this is more humorous than anything. It's only surprising if I think of him as a normal person. Given his craziness, it's totally expected. I remember thinking to myself when he first met up with this girl, I bet he'll be telling her he loves her after a few weeks. (This was the first and only girl he met off the site. And he wasn't being especially picky. She was just the first to agree to actually meet him.) And that's exactly what happened. When I had that thought, it didn't disturb me. Instead I felt a mixture of hilarity and disgust -- disgust, because I ever believed that he loved me. But even then I second-guessed myself for being so judgmental and not giving him enough credit. But, no, my gut was right. I need to return to that attitude now. He's a nutcase. She can have him. I didn't sleep with three guys. I've only mentioned two guys on here since our breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveTruthChaos Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 Well, at least you didn't have to see what I went through, I guess. I had to see some bi*ch tell my ex that she loved him - over and over and over again on FB. This was just 4 weeks after he ended it with me. And we'd been together for more than a year and a half. There's always someone doing it worse than you. There are people doing worse than me too, I'm not being a martyr over this. It just helps to put things in perspective. That whole thing about you feeling like you were disposable - oh yes, I've been feeling that since I saw who he'd left me for. It's HORRIBLE, and I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone (except for maybe the girl he left me for - she knew he was taken!). Seems like he has a pattern running there. If you sensed that he was only 'on the surface' with you, then rest assured, he feels the same with her. Now, if only I could convince myself of the same thing... Chin up, chest out Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts