I should NOT be complaining, but why is it women...

[Dante311]

only want YOU when you're not looking for a relationship anymore and walk with your head tall?

 

I'm fairly confident again, which is really nice. It's been 10-11 months since I've felt this good ever since Nicole broke my heart.

 

Now, I should not be complaining...

 

On the downside.. I ran into an ex from 3 years ago... totally pissed her off. I didn't really give her the time of day. A friend brought up another ex (the cutter) that she sees daily... and it pissed me off.

 

But the upside... I have a crazy, attractive, older italian woman head over heels for me... (I've already slept with her multiple times). She wants a relationship with me... =/

 

I have 3 new girls into me... one feels me up all the time and flirts with me. One professed her love to me, but I'm totally not into her... (Need to have a talk with her) and then this last one's friend is into me and wants to see me... and I want to see her. She's in something that isn't serious, but she doesn't want to piss off her friend that likes me. She texted me telling me we shouldn't see eachother. I said I agree as cool as she is, not a good idea. Tonight, I run into her. She asks me to get a drink with her... I oblige. We talk. We're seeing eachother (unofficially now), but behind her friend's back. I feel guilty about this. Must have a talk with the girl who professed her love for me.

 

And that girl I posted about that I'm totally head over heels for.. been ignoring her... she's been persistent to talk to me today numerous times... and I gave in. ugh.

 

Why am I whining about this?

 

Why is this such a problem?

 

 

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

[Titania22]

Because there is no pressure from you. It creates the space for them to come to you.

[Sabali]

Yeah, Don't complain. Just have fun and carefully consider all of your opportunities while they are there. You never know when that dry spell will hit so you got to ride that wave. Don't toss anything in the trash too quickly.

[Anela]

I've wondered the same thing about a few men - one in particular.

[Knittress]

I get stressed out just READING that!

[LittleTiger]

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

 

Women you have desired in the past will not take kindly to you not desiring them now. You have no right to 'go off them' .

 

If you apparently lose interest in them after being keen, they will feel snubbed and you will naturally spark their curiosity, so they will attempt to win back your interest.

 

Playing it cool is an old trick which suggests confidence and an 'I can get anyone, so I don't need you' attitude. It does seem to work with a lot of women, especially if they know you're being 'active' with other women.

 

Women are very competitive and they don't like to be the one woman you're not pursuing.

[Woggle]

It's a matter of wanting what they can't have. I went through this after my divorce when I had no desire for any relationship.

[loverofloveandstuff]

Women can sense desperation and it's not attractive. When you're not, levels of attractiveness go up and up.

 

As Woggle said, a matter of wanting what you can't have.

[Dante311]

Women can sense desperation and it's not attractive. When you're not, levels of attractiveness go up and up.

 

As Woggle said, a matter of wanting what you can't have.

 

 

this one I'm into (not the one I'm head over heels for)... as soon as she said we shouldn't see eachother and I told her I agree as awesome as she is... she totally flipped on her decision. she told me we should see eachother, but not tell R (her good friend who loves me)... I was like, "works for me".

[John018]

Women you have desired in the past will not take kindly to you not desiring them now. You have no right to 'go off them' .

 

If you apparently lose interest in them after being keen, they will feel snubbed and you will naturally spark their curiosity, so they will attempt to win back your interest.

 

Playing it cool is an old trick which suggests confidence and an 'I can get anyone, so I don't need you' attitude. It does seem to work with a lot of women, especially if they know you're being 'active' with other women.

 

Women are very competitive and they don't like to be the one woman you're not pursuing.

 

But the interest levels go right back down as soon as the guys return some interest right?

[sally4sara]

only want YOU when you're not looking for a relationship anymore and walk with your head tall?

 

I'm fairly confident again, which is really nice. It's been 10-11 months since I've felt this good ever since Nicole broke my heart.

 

Now, I should not be complaining...

 

On the downside.. I ran into an ex from 3 years ago... totally pissed her off. I didn't really give her the time of day. A friend brought up another ex (the cutter) that she sees daily... and it pissed me off.

 

But the upside... I have a crazy, attractive, older italian woman head over heels for me... (I've already slept with her multiple times). She wants a relationship with me... =/

 

I have 3 new girls into me... one feels me up all the time and flirts with me. One professed her love to me, but I'm totally not into her... (Need to have a talk with her) and then this last one's friend is into me and wants to see me... and I want to see her. She's in something that isn't serious, but she doesn't want to piss off her friend that likes me. She texted me telling me we shouldn't see eachother. I said I agree as cool as she is, not a good idea. Tonight, I run into her. She asks me to get a drink with her... I oblige. We talk. We're seeing eachother (unofficially now), but behind her friend's back. I feel guilty about this. Must have a talk with the girl who professed her love for me.

 

And that girl I posted about that I'm totally head over heels for.. been ignoring her... she's been persistent to talk to me today numerous times... and I gave in. ugh.

 

Why am I whining about this?

 

Why is this such a problem?

 

 

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

 

I'm sorry for this OP, but I feel I should let you know that you are now useless for serious relationships and untrustworthy. FWB, ONS, and f-buddies is all you can ever hope for forever so sayeth the men of LS.

 

Ahhh-men.

 

All joking aside, just be honest and safe. That's all any of us can do.

[carhill]

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

 

I haven't noticed that, at least in my 51 on this rock. You must be a pretty special guy. Enjoy

[John018]

 

And that girl I posted about that I'm totally head over heels for.. been ignoring her... she's been persistent to talk to me today numerous times... and I gave in. ugh.

 

So what happened when you spoke to this girl? Do tell...

[redliner]

Because you don't look needy

[Untouchable_Fire]

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

 

Who cares. You should pick one or pick none! If your sleeping with one... date her or be done with it.

 

Otherwise your just juggling chainsaws.

[Anela]

I'm sorry for this OP, but I feel I should let you know that you are now useless for serious relationships and untrustworthy. FWB, ONS, and f-buddies is all you can ever hope for forever so sayeth the men of LS.

 

Ahhh-men.

 

Too funny.

 

In my case, I didn't know if it was down the man's shyness - he doubted himself around women, knowing that he looked okay, but wasn't sure about the rest of his life (he actually told me this). He told me that it wasn't easy to let me go, and I know that he cared about me, but the fact that he didn't really step up until I got pissed over something he did?? Ugh.

[Dante311]

Who cares. You should pick one or pick none! If your sleeping with one... date her or be done with it.

 

Otherwise your just juggling chainsaws.

 

 

I ended it because I wasn't emotionally attracted to her... she hates me now. I feel bad.

[Dante311]

the pathetic thing about me is... I know why I don't want a new relationship.

 

I'm still in love with Nicole... the girl who broke my heart 11 months ago. Shorter than most LTR's... but still >4 months.. IMO, I fell really hard for her.

 

She contacted me a month ago... I hope I hear from her.

[jane-mary]

OP, I ask you to treat women you're dealing with with respect. Don't do what nicole did to you. Be honest and if you're not interested let them know. Sorry for your heartbreak and I hope you can move from it

[Anela]

the pathetic thing about me is... I know why I don't want a new relationship.

 

I'm still in love with Nicole... the girl who broke my heart 11 months ago. Shorter than most LTR's... but still >4 months.. IMO, I fell really hard for her.

 

She contacted me a month ago... I hope I hear from her.

 

♥ If it would be the right thing for you, then I hope she contacts you, as well. I understand that feelings don't just disappear - god, do I know that - but I would like to hear of you being happily with somebody else, if she's liable to break your heart again.

 

(Or is that controlling of me, theMENenemy, to want to see this guy happy? )

 

I wish you all the best, Dante.

[Dante311]

OP, I ask you to treat women you're dealing with with respect. Don't do what nicole did to you. Be honest and if you're not interested let them know. Sorry for your heartbreak and I hope you can move from it

 

♥ If it would be the right thing for you, then I hope she contacts you, as well. I understand that feelings don't just disappear - god, do I know that - but I would like to hear of you being happily with somebody else, if she's liable to break your heart again.

 

(Or is that controlling of me, theMENenemy, to want to see this guy happy? )

 

I wish you all the best, Dante.

 

 

Thank you both. Thank you all.

 

Honestly... I don't think I've ever felt love... but being 11 months later... and I've endured pain... anger... frustration... hatred... anguish... torment... mental lethargy... catharsis... and finally silence in my heart.... my heart and my head still whisper her name.

 

Is that love? Is it obsession? Is it denial? Is it fear?

 

I do not know, but I do know... I would take her back. This is probably the wrong thing to do.

 

thanks again

[TheMENemy]

...none of these women sound like they would make decent material for a serious relationship--

 

 

It's been 10-11 months since I've felt this good ever since Nicole broke my heart.

 

[TOO SELFISH]

 

 

 

I ran into an ex from 3 years ago... totally pissed her off.

 

[TOO BIOTCHY]

 

A friend brought up another ex (the cutter) that she sees daily... and it pissed me off.

 

[TOO BPD]

 

But the upside... I have a crazy, attractive, older italian woman head over heels for me... (I've already slept with her multiple times). She wants a relationship with me... =/

 

[TOO NEEDY]

 

 

I have 3 new girls into me... one feels me up all the time and flirts with me.

 

[TOO LIKELY TO CHEAT ON YOU]

 

 

One professed her love to me, but I'm totally not into her...

 

[TOO BUNNY BOILER]

 

 

(Need to have a talk with her) and then this last one's friend is into me and wants to see me... and I want to see her. She's in something that isn't serious, but she doesn't want to piss off her friend that likes me. She texted me telling me we shouldn't see eachother. I said I agree as cool as she is, not a good idea. Tonight, I run into her. She asks me to get a drink with her... I oblige. We talk. We're seeing eachother (unofficially now), but behind her friend's back. I feel guilty about this. Must have a talk with the girl who professed her love for me.

 

[TOO LIKELY TO DESTROY YOUR SELF-WORTH AND INTEGRITY]

 

 

And that girl I posted about that I'm totally head over heels for.. been ignoring her... she's been persistent to talk to me today numerous times... and I gave in. ugh.

 

[TOO MARLO THOMAS]

 

 

Why am I whining about this?

 

None of these girls sounds like an emotionally well balanced woman suitable for a long term committed monogamous and loving relationship. They all sound like alternative versions of each other and all have similar traits which vary to greater or lesser extent depending on which woman it is. They are all too invested in getting attention from you to validate themselves as women rather than being who they really are and looking for a suitable partner to compliment who they really are on a mutual journey through life.

 

Yes you are getting a lot of attention and it is fun to be in demand, esp. when sex is involved. But that is not what makes for a successful relationship.

 

 

 

Why is this such a problem?

 

 

Because none of these girls is "the one."

 

 

Why do women only come around when you want nothing to do with them.

 

 

Because women with low self-worth crave abuse from men.

[TheMENemy]

Thank you both. Thank you all.

 

Honestly... I don't think I've ever felt love... but being 11 months later... and I've endured pain... anger... frustration... hatred... anguish... torment... mental lethargy... catharsis... and finally silence in my heart.... my heart and my head still whisper her name.

 

Is that love? Is it obsession? Is it denial? Is it fear?

 

I do not know, but I do know... I would take her back. This is probably the wrong thing to do.

 

thanks again

 

Four months is simply not enough time to know if things would have worked out. She dumped you which hurts, the heart and the ego.

 

Yes it SEEMS like it would be good to get her back, because you haven't yet gotten beyond the original loss and hurt.

 

However even if she took you back it would never be the same and you could never trust her not to walk out on you at some point in the future. She decided that she could crumple your heart up like a little paper valentine and toss it in the garbage.

 

You are far better off dealing with the pain, getting past it as best you can, then when you are ready for it, starting fresh with someone new.

 

You are infatuated with the memory of your ex, and you are romanticizing, glamorizing, and pedestaling her.

 

The BOTTOM LINE on this chick is she let you down big time.

 

Trust me, YOU DO NOT want to get back into the foxhole with a woman like that.

[Dante311]

As of 8:56PM EST... older girl I was messing around with. Done.

 

Girl I like from my dept.... out of my life. I'm not going to wait around as her emotional rebound while she sucks and ****s immature boys her age. She's 21.

 

Now that leaves 3... but I'm only into 1 of them, one who doesn't want anything serious. I'm just going to go with that... if it ends up nowhere... oh well.

 

I'm tired of these games. As theMENemy states.. I need/want a stable, secure, intelligent woman. I won't find that in collegetown USA.