squeaky Posted November 2, 2010 Share Posted November 2, 2010 OK, so I have this guy friend, I've posted about him before. He invited me to go to a show two weeks ago, and he even bought me a ticket. Two days before the show, he texted me to say his friend from back home was coming. This friend is a girl who he used to have a crush on. I felt a bit weird, but I'm really friendly and I tend to get along really well with girls, so I didn't think it would be an issue. Well they came and picked me up tonight, and I was immediately friendly, but pretty quickly I turned into a 3rd wheel. The whole car ride to the show they just talked about things from back home, who was dating who, etc. I just sat in the backseat and felt lame. At the show, things weren't much different. they sat close and joked around, and he talked to me occasionally. I was texting friends most of the night, and as the show came to a close I told him I was leaving. I basically just hightailed it out of there, hitched a cab, hung out with my friends, and had a fun rest of the night. Was this really rude? I said bye and thank you, although I was pretty brief about it. I admit that I was a kind of jealous, but more than that, I felt totally out of the loop. He bought me my ticket and I really appreciate that, but I just needed to leave after a certain point. I was sick of listening to them go on and and about back home, and I'm sort of shy, so I didn't know what to add to the conversation. At one point they even made a joke about my clothing reminding them of someone they knew, and I flat said I didn't know the person and honestly had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't feel like either of them made a huge effort to include me. Was it rude of me to duck out? Link to post Share on other sites
ReturnToSender Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 Nah I dont think so. He definitely should have made an effort to connect the two of you more since hes the mutual friend here, but I dont think he excluded you purposely... And seeing how they were so wrapped up in their own convo much of the night, you jetting out probably didnt phase them. Not saying they didnt enjoy you being there, just that they were so busy reminiscing and what-not. Why stick out a night where you feel left out and uncomfortable when you have friends to hang out with who you can have fun with? You were friendly and polite, throughout, thanked him and left. I think you did the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Nemicron Posted November 5, 2010 Share Posted November 5, 2010 MAybe you could have handled it differently. But honestly, I dont think it was right for him to treat you like that. Suppose to include everyone into the thing. OK, so I have this guy friend, I've posted about him before. He invited me to go to a show two weeks ago, and he even bought me a ticket. Two days before the show, he texted me to say his friend from back home was coming. This friend is a girl who he used to have a crush on. I felt a bit weird, but I'm really friendly and I tend to get along really well with girls, so I didn't think it would be an issue. Well they came and picked me up tonight, and I was immediately friendly, but pretty quickly I turned into a 3rd wheel. The whole car ride to the show they just talked about things from back home, who was dating who, etc. I just sat in the backseat and felt lame. At the show, things weren't much different. they sat close and joked around, and he talked to me occasionally. I was texting friends most of the night, and as the show came to a close I told him I was leaving. I basically just hightailed it out of there, hitched a cab, hung out with my friends, and had a fun rest of the night. Was this really rude? I said bye and thank you, although I was pretty brief about it. I admit that I was a kind of jealous, but more than that, I felt totally out of the loop. He bought me my ticket and I really appreciate that, but I just needed to leave after a certain point. I was sick of listening to them go on and and about back home, and I'm sort of shy, so I didn't know what to add to the conversation. At one point they even made a joke about my clothing reminding them of someone they knew, and I flat said I didn't know the person and honestly had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't feel like either of them made a huge effort to include me. Was it rude of me to duck out? Link to post Share on other sites
redmelon Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 I think you sound like a total b**ch, to be honest. What did you expect was going to happen? Everyone go to the show and hold hands, and dance in a circle, just the 3 of you? Link to post Share on other sites
LoveLace Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 I'm assuming you like this guy? I would have felt the same way, and I would have done the exact same thing...said thank you and found a place with other friends for the rest of the night, a place where I felt like I belonged for gosh sakes. I'm sure he didn't mean to make you feel out of place...guys don't multi task so being that they are old friends, she had the bigger part of his attention instead of you. You handled it well as far as I'm concerned. Anytime there is a group of 3 mixed genders, usually someone is going to feel left out a little...especially if somebody likes somebody. I've been in those situations where 2 old friends are reminiscing about old memories and it IS hard to jump in and include yourself in that...because you can't share those memories with them. If they are chatting on other topics, then I don't have any problem chiming in. He really should have picked a time to play catch-up with her when it's just those two. But sometimes people just don't think ahead that way. In general terms, it is rude not to make effort to include a 3rd person, was rude of him to invite you only to have you there taking up space. But again, I'm thinking he didn't intend for it to turn out like that or for you to feel left out. Maybe if you are just honest and said "sorry I slipped out, but you and your friend seemed to have a lot of catching up to do so I thought it was best"... Link to post Share on other sites
LisaLee Posted November 6, 2010 Share Posted November 6, 2010 I think you sound like a total b**ch, to be honest. What did you expect was going to happen? Everyone go to the show and hold hands, and dance in a circle, just the 3 of you? How was she being rude? If anything, the two people she went with were the bitches. The OP was a victim of circumstances. Link to post Share on other sites
mohdhm Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Totally. Even though she was practically being ignored, she stayed for the whole event before parting ways with them, and was still kind enough to tell him thank you...someone else in the sitch would pout and leave in the middle of the show like a child. She handled it quite maturely. This, some people can be really stupid:redmelon. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity2 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 OK, so I have this guy friend, I've posted about him before. He invited me to go to a show two weeks ago, and he even bought me a ticket. Two days before the show, he texted me to say his friend from back home was coming. This friend is a girl who he used to have a crush on. I felt a bit weird, but I'm really friendly and I tend to get along really well with girls, so I didn't think it would be an issue. Well they came and picked me up tonight, and I was immediately friendly, but pretty quickly I turned into a 3rd wheel. The whole car ride to the show they just talked about things from back home, who was dating who, etc. I just sat in the backseat and felt lame. At the show, things weren't much different. they sat close and joked around, and he talked to me occasionally. I was texting friends most of the night, and as the show came to a close I told him I was leaving. I basically just hightailed it out of there, hitched a cab, hung out with my friends, and had a fun rest of the night. Was this really rude? I said bye and thank you, although I was pretty brief about it. I admit that I was a kind of jealous, but more than that, I felt totally out of the loop. He bought me my ticket and I really appreciate that, but I just needed to leave after a certain point. I was sick of listening to them go on and and about back home, and I'm sort of shy, so I didn't know what to add to the conversation. At one point they even made a joke about my clothing reminding them of someone they knew, and I flat said I didn't know the person and honestly had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't feel like either of them made a huge effort to include me. Was it rude of me to duck out? I would have done the same thing, *see ya* Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts