Meanest thing someone ever said to you

[loverofloveandstuff]

Spin off from the compliments thread...

 

What is the meanest thing someone ever said to you?

 

For me, a lot of the time the things that hit the hardest are sometimes not even intended by the person who is saying them to be mean. They don't even realise how much what they say has offended me and I usually don't dare to show that I'm offended.

 

However, this one was intended to be mean as I was having an argument with the guy at the time. 'Nobody will EVER like you for your personality.' Ouch.

[denise_xo]

Many years a go, a man who knew I was very deeply in love with him and who was lying next to me in my bed turned around and looked at me and said 'fu3k the day that I met you'. It really hurt right then.

[quankanne]

"you are just like your sister"

[denise_xo]

"you are just like your sister"

 

haha, I forgot that one - mine goes "you're just like your father"

[always_searching]

haha, I forgot that one - mine goes "you're just like your father"

 

It offends me a great deal when my mom says that crap to me! But she's right--I am a lot like him.

 

Okay, so I'd have to say that the worst thing ever said to me was from my step-mother when I was 12-13 years old: "You are not attractive and you are not intelligent. You will never be smart enough to make it through college--you'll be lucky to make it through high school. You will probably be one of those pregnant teenage high school drop outs."

 

Yeah...I graduated high school, have my undergraduate degree and am working on my graduate degree. I've done all that without getting pregnant. What now, BEYOTCH?!

 

Edited November 2, 2010 by always_searching

[goingstrong]

Always,

You might want to thank her since it sounds as if those hurtful words are what helped make you as strong and driven as you are. Kinda like naming you George or something, or a naming a boy Sue...get it?

[quankanne]

haha, I forgot that one - mine goes "you're just like your father"

 

well, this particular sister is EXACTLY like our dad, so my husband's insult wasn't kindly taken

[denise_xo]

haha, I forgot that one - mine goes "you're just like your father"

 

well, this particular sister is EXACTLY like our dad, so my husband's insult wasn't kindly taken

 

Right - when I get that from my mother, I know it's about the worst she can come up with

[always_searching]

Always,

You might want to thank her since it sounds as if those hurtful words are what helped make you as strong and driven as you are. Kinda like naming you George or something, or a naming a boy Sue...get it?

 

LOL, ah, yes: the reverse-psychology.

 

I admit that I probably wouldn't have been so motivated to strive for intellectual achievements if it weren't to avoid being everything she said I would be.

 

Though, it's had it's price. I am a somewhat messed up individual. For example, every time I fail, I hear her in my head telling me how worthless I am. Every time I even think about getting married or having sex with a man, I'm terrified of getting pregnant--so much so I'm 25, unmarried, and never had sex with a man, and it's not for lack of opportunity or desire on my part. I interpret pregnancy as failure, which I know it is not, but I can not entertain the thought of having children, without experiencing tremendous anxiety.

 

It's hard, because I don't want her to have that kind of control over my life (I mean, it's been 13 years, I need to get over it!), and then I just get more angry and frustrated, because the damn phantom of her (and my father as well) in my head won't leave me alone! There are times I've thought about blowing my brains out just to get her to shut up!

 

On the positive side, I suppose recognition is the first step, eh?

Edited November 2, 2010 by always_searching

[denise_xo]

 

Yeah...I graduated high school, have my undergraduate degree and am working on my graduate degree. I've done all that without getting pregnant. What now, BEYOTCH?!

 

 

Yep, she can BEYOTCH off

[goingstrong]

Always, it sounds as if you already have your act together..just put that drive and intellect towards it. Resentment is just giving someone a license to camp out in your head...but you already know that...good luck!

[Star Gazer]

In 4th grade, I beat a girl on the playground in a game of four-square. In response, she called me illegitimate (which is true, I'm the product of a single parent). I was stunned that she used that word, and even surprised myself that at that age I knew what it meant and what she was trying to convey.

 

Nothing anyone has ever said to me has ever hurt worse than that word on that day.

[iheartsuki]

Always Searching, I can relate. When I was growing up my dad rarely had a compliment for me, but often had plenty of compliments for my friends. He would put me down and praise them (usually in front of their parents, no less) and say "why can't you be more like So and so? So and so got straight A's/plays piano well/gave an impressive performance/said something really smart/is taller than you/you-name-it.". He was very quick to criticize and put down, but much more careful about praise. His father did this to him as well, though.

 

I think in many cases it caused me to just shut down inside. Today, I am an extreme perfectionist. If it is any less than perfect, I still shut down and go into this strange mental paralysis. I get totally stuck on things until I can make sure what I'm doing is PERFECT. It has driven me to be better in some ways and resulted in a few things I can honestly feel very proud of, but in other ways, it has held me back.

 

If only people could understand how much their words don't just hurt....they damage.

[carhill]

In my case, it wasn't about me, specifically, but rather about my mother, who had been rendered essentially helpless due to a stroke. Suffice to say, had the speaker been a man, one of us would've ended up in the hospital or worse.

 

The speaker? My ex-wife.

 

The result? I will be ever-vigilant for that kind of vile and disingenuous speech and perhaps might forget what gender the speaker is if I ever hear it again. Sometimes, people need assistance in understanding what balance is in life. Happy to help.

[Citizen Erased]

"I made your mother leave because she was ****ing another man"

 

That one was lovely for a 13 year old to have yelled at her. We were arguing and he knew that would hurt me and he wanted me to shut up. Mission accomplished but that's when I chose to live with my mum.

 

Oh yeah, my mother did say to me she wouldn't have had kids if she could do it all over again. And my dad once told me that he didn't want my mum to have me.

 

Isn't family wonderful?

[tfkizzle]

"You're right, your sister is better than you at xyz" and everything else that followed was nearly as bad (and no it wasn't sexual)

[D-Lish]

The guy that broke up with me, the one that brought me to LS 5 years ago said the most hurtful things ever when he broke up with me.

 

The week before our break up, I'd completely opened myself up and admitted to him that when I was younger I had been molested. We'd been together for almost a year at that point- it was a part of me, and I shared it with him.

 

When he broke up with me, as he was yelling about everything he hated about me - the one thing that stood out was "how could you admit that, that sh*t's effing weird". It just brought back all the shame, all the vulnerability, all the hurt right back to the surface.

 

He said it on purpose, to make me feel ashamed, and it worked.

Edited November 4, 2010 by D-Lish

[skydiveaddict]

"**** you I hope you die"

[loverofloveandstuff]

"how could you admit that, that sh*t's effing weird". It just brought back all the shame, all the vulnerability, all the hurt right back to the surface.

 

He said it on purpose, to make me feel ashamed.

 

WOW. That is just too horrible for words. It's a good thing you guy broke up, what an *******!

[Woggle]

One time we were watching the news about a kid that was killed in the subway and my mother told me her life would be much better if that would happen to me.

 

She also told me that she considers my ex wife to be her real child and I was just some thing she crapped out to please my father.

[D-Lish]

One time we were watching the news about a kid that was killed in the subway and my mother told me her life would be much better if that would happen to me.

 

She also told me that she considers my ex wife to be her real child and I was just some thing she crapped out to please my father.

 

Woggle, your mother is a piece of sh*t.

[JackJack]

Woggle, your mother is a piece of sh*t.

 

I second that! I couldn't imagine!

[Art_Critic]

I've posted these before in other threads...

 

My ex wife or then wife once said to me " I hope you get in a car wreck and die"..

 

An old GF once said to me as we were getting ready to have sex and I was getting ready to dive for some muff "Do you really have to do that, can't you just put it in and get it over with?"

[carhill]

Oh, the sex ones

 

'Did you cum yet?'

 

'I wish it was an inch longer. I had this boyfriend and...'

 

'Sex makes me sleepy. Can we finish you later?'

[Woggle]

Another one is that my ex told me that she lost attraction for me when I cried at a friend's funeral. She thought I was less of a man and once tore up a picture of him in front of me.