Relocating woes/hope

[Ammilnar]

Hi everyone,

I'm completely new here so I'll give a quick rundown of my story.

 

I was engaged at a very young age [17] to a man who was very insecure and controlling. I moved across the country for school and a career, and he insisted I return home to be with him, despite the fact he was unemployed and still lived with his parents. I am a big nerd/gamer and soon and met my SO on an online game. I broke it off with my ex-fiancé, and perused this new friendship. I had such a connection with this man, it was insane. We share common interests and hobbies which is my biggest thing. I don't understand how you can be so close to someone and have nothing you can do together. I am a nervous/worrisome person, and he a person with low self esteem, but we've made it work this long, and I honestly think I could go even longer. though only if needed. I, located in Vancouver Canada, and he in Texas U.S.A. We've been in a relationship for well over a year now, he visited for a couple months last winter, and I visited him in the spring. It has been 7 months since we've seen each other, and it will be another yet until we can. It has not been easy, I had a very skewed idea of what was right and wrong in a relationship, thanks to my ex. I remember coming home one day to cry at my SO and apologize because a male friend had texted me the day before and I texted back. I had been trained this was WRONG, by my ex.

 

My SO is 10 years my senior, and is divorced with a son [who stays with his mother]. He is moving up to Canada in mid December, to live with me, and I am elated. We argue and have all the normal twists and turns, but I am very very very happy to have him come live with me. Though he has mentioned how he will indeed miss his job and family. I have offered to relocate to him, but he states he loves Canada and would rather live here.

 

I understand that even though he wants to relocate here, it will still be very hard for him. Are there any hints or tips for making his relocating as stress free as possible, and help him settle in? I am worried I will take any negative feelings personally, and obsess. Can I expect a certain amount of depression/sadness related to such a move?

 

Thanks everyone,

I am glad I've found a place on the internet that doesn't simply state LDR= Breakup,

[folieadeux]

I agree with Beverley, I think the real test will come when the relocation actually happens. It’s impossible to tell how everything will go before then. Who knows, things could go even more smoothly than you’re anticipating. Missing friends/family is inevitable, but I think it’s a good sign that you both aren’t putting unneeded pressure on the situation. You were both willing to relocate and the move isn’t being forced. That’s how it is with me and my SO. We are both willing and able to relocate and am eternally grateful that at least we won’t have that major factor to contend with.

 

I couldn’t tell from your post, but I’m assuming you lived together during your visits? I think this will give you a sneak peek into what living together permanently will be like (assuming you didn’t treat the visits like a vacation and you both went to work, etc.).

[aerogurl87]

 

I couldn’t tell from your post, but I’m assuming you lived together during your visits? I think this will give you a sneak peek into what living together permanently will be like (assuming you didn’t treat the visits like a vacation and you both went to work, etc.).

 

I agree with folieadeux, if you two lived together during your visits then this will give you a good idea of what day to day life will be like, especially if you both lived like you would any other day (going to work, etc.) This is how things have always been basically with my boyfriend when I come to visit him. He works like he normally does, taking a few days off work to be with me but still things are like they would be when I move here permanently.

 

By the way out of curiousity what visa is he using to move and how long did it take to process everything? I'm just interested because my boyfriend and I plan to have me immigrate from the States to Canada.