Balance11 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Me and my ex broke up nearly 10 month ago the last time I had contact with her was 5 month ago. I ended the relationship and being perfectly honest I was a d*** about it, however she got me back and things didn't end on a good note. After 3-4 month from the break up I tried to get back with her, this is when she got me back, leading me on and messing me around, sleeping with her other ex and ignoring all my texts/calls which i deserved though two wrongs dont make a right. After a month and a half nc I sent her a fb message saying sorry and how I cared about her still and had accepted things and was moving on but hoped we could be friends, she show it to her other ex and they took the p*ss out of me and 2 friends and my dad over a fb status so I deleted her and the next day she 'officially' was back with her ex. Since then no contact but I sorted my life out and now I'm completely different, I've got over and forgiven what happen between us and have no bad feelings towards her or her current boyfriend. Saturday gone I got a text from my best friend (who is a mutual friend) asking if I liked my ex still, he told me that at the party they where having that she said she missed me and someone asked her if she would get back with me, she said nothing, so they said 'take that as a yes then ' she said 'yea'. After that she got my friend to text me and then to ring me but my phone was dead but she is still with her other ex/current boyfriend but clearly isn't happy. I was thinking of starting to talk to her again simpley as nothing more than 2 people having a simple conversation however I've been the happiest I've been since I stopped contact with her, I'd accepted she was out my life, and I'm wondering wheather contact would be a mistake or not. Link to post Share on other sites
strength-abounds Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 IMO, a second chance is nothing more than setting fire to an already burned bridge. You have answered your own question when you stated you have been the happiest since you went NC. Stick to it. Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 DO NOT CONTACT HER!!! If she misses you like she claims (that is what it means) by telling your friends that you might get back together. Let her pursue you for a bit, seems like the wrong decision I know. But trust me do it, cause if you call her your actions will be saying that you have been waiting.. Plus it seems like she is being childish to have your friends call when she could have just asked them to give her the number!! LET HER COME TO YOU, or else you might as well just kick yourself in the teeth!! just my .02 Link to post Share on other sites
Cratsky Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Hm, this is always a tricky one. It sounds like you're had enough time to think about the good/the bad and the ugly of what occured with her and you've grown from it. Congratulations. I'd say it's important to suss out whether she's been single for a while (3+ months), and if she's genuinely looking to reconnect in terms of friendship first. It's unrealistic to think that you can contact an ex with the hope of getting back together immediately if you've both now changed as people and don't even know if you can be friends (let alone in a relationship together). Who knows, she may be looking for an emotional band-aid from her last break-up and hasn't grown emotionally at all. You may be surprised upon seeing her that you're unsure of what spark was there to begin with. These are things to consider when thinking about if it's worth catching up. Good friends are hard to find, so I'm always wary of throwing away a chance to find a life long friend. I'd suggest thinking about what core commonalities were there to begin with and decide whether she can be a good friend. If not, then no point making touch I'd say. From your description, I'd honestly be worried that if you did meet for a short 1 hour lunch she might start hounding you a week later about why you haven't called etc. That's a big warning that she hasn't grown up emotionally. I know this doesn't give you an answer but I hope it gives you some perspective. Me personally, I'd see them for an hour and ponder it for a while. If I don't have the urge to see them again that just proves that it was worth finalising closing the door after all and that can definately be a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
TLCbear Posted November 3, 2010 Share Posted November 3, 2010 Leave things alone, no need in going back and forth...seems to me all you are doing is playing games...she getting you back...you getting her back. Immaturity if you ask me. Continue to move forward and be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Capital P Posted November 4, 2010 Share Posted November 4, 2010 I had the same thing. Ex broke up with me. 4 months later im on top of the world, new gf and about to leave the country. In she waltzes, flashes her tits and suddenly we have slept together and im back with her. Im unhappy because i know i was happy before, which you will also be. And 3 months down the line she breaks it off again anyway. **** getting back with her, carry on making yourself happy and have comfort in the fact that she is miserable. I wish misery upon all of my bitchy exes. **** them. They may be able to flash their tits on facebook and get bonehead guys to hit on them, but they aint **** to me Link to post Share on other sites
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