my partner has left me for another guy: what are the chances that will it work out?

[strangeways]

Fern: how did you stop the "people pleasing"? I think that is a big part of my trouble, and I have been that way as long as I can remember. It's how come I put up with the bad stuff for so long, why I was so unwilling to confront things and say "no" when I wasn't happy. I can see it as a problem, but I can't work out quite how to stop it yet. It's fairly deeply ingrained. My sister is just the same, which I think can't be a coincidence.

 

I'd be interested in this too.

[melenkurion]

Same for me, the PAIN has gone but the thoughts are still there.

 

Was that just "time"? I thought I might be over the pain, but I had a bad patch early on Sunday morning.

[strangeways]

Was that just "time"? I thought I might be over the pain, but I had a bad patch early on Sunday morning.

 

Pretty much just time I think. I noticed at some point (can't remember when exactly) that when I was thinking about her, the aching/stinging/churning feeling seemed to have gone. I do get it sometimes but rarely and a lot less intensely and it p-asses quickly. I wouldn't be surprised if it came back more strongly at some point in the future knowing the cyclical/rollercoaster nature of these feelings.

[Fern]

Fern: how did you stop the "people pleasing"? I think that is a big part of my trouble, and I have been that way as long as I can remember. It's how come I put up with the bad stuff for so long, why I was so unwilling to confront things and say "no" when I wasn't happy. I can see it as a problem, but I can't work out quite how to stop it yet. It's fairly deeply ingrained. My sister is just the same, which I think can't be a coincidence.

 

I practised. I started paying attention to when I was about to say yes to things that I didn't want to do and practised saying no instead. It sounds simpler than it is. And I still have relapses. I HATE when friends even SEEM upset with me, but I'm lucky to have had the same core group of 4 girlfriends for 20 years. I know we can have HUGE falling outs and we will always make up. I know that from experience - so I feel very comfortable with them. I find it more difficult with new friends and strangers. There's nothing wrong with doing things for people - as long as it doesn't make you feel bad. I never, ever managed to stop trying to please my ex though. And he never, ever learned to appreciate what I did for him.

 

Distance and a bit of time has given me so much insight and hindsight. I'd love to know if he has had any epiphanies - has he learned anything? Is he a better person because of it? It will never make a difference to me, but I'd like to hope that whole time wasn't completely wasted on him.

[melenkurion]

Pretty much just time I think. I noticed at some point (can't remember when exactly) that when I was thinking about her, the aching/stinging/churning feeling seemed to have gone.

 

Some stuff seems to have gotten much better. I initially dreaded weekends because I had pretty much the whole time with my thoughts, and the certain knowledge that my ex and OG were together the whole time. That's pretty much stopped, so some things have got better. I know they are together, and it doesn't kill me like it did at first.

 

It's "firsts" that do it for me. I had a tough time this weekend because I knew that it was his work Christmas meal. I went to that with him last year, and had a great time. It was in the same place this year. I have a feeling he did go, and that he might have taken OG: enough time has elapsed that he can present him without admitting the affair. That bothered me, for some reason. I don't even know for sure that they went. I'm just torturing myself with "might haves". Even if they did go, his colleagues probably weren't too impressed with them --- OG puts no effort in, he is clingy and needy. It also really annoyed me because it meant I couldn't go to my local pub that evening in case they ended up there after the meal. I quite enjoy just a couple of beers in my local on a Saturday evening.

[Fern]

Some stuff seems to have gotten much better. I initially dreaded weekends because I had pretty much the whole time with my thoughts, and the certain knowledge that my ex and OG were together the whole time. That's pretty much stopped, so some things have got better. I know they are together, and it doesn't kill me like it did at first.

 

Oh god yes, I was the same at weekends. Torturing myself because I had too much time to think. I'm so much better able to deal with thoughts of them now.

 

It's "firsts" that do it for me. I had a tough time this weekend because I knew that it was his work Christmas meal. I went to that with him last year, and had a great time. It was in the same place this year. I have a feeling he did go, and that he might have taken OG: enough time has elapsed that he can present him without admitting the affair. That bothered me, for some reason. I don't even know for sure that they went. I'm just torturing myself with "might haves". Even if they did go, his colleagues probably weren't too impressed with them --- OG puts no effort in, he is clingy and needy. It also really annoyed me because it meant I couldn't go to my local pub that evening in case they ended up there after the meal. I quite enjoy just a couple of beers in my local on a Saturday evening.

 

I was OK this weekend, even after seeing him out with her on Friday night. The two of them left the bar almost immediately after I arrived, which felt like a minor victory. Although it's as likely to be because her exes friends were there as it was to do with me. Either way, they were uncomfortable enough to feel the need to vacate the premises. There's a relationship built to last - you can't even go for a drink without bumping into people who think you're scum for being together.

 

What messed me up was getting cocky on Saturday and unblocking her on FB to 'prove' to myself that I wasn't bothered anymore. There was little to no activity on her account (which is completely public - who in this day and age has a FB with zero privacy?) but I then spent the next 3 days checking it obsessively and looking at her photos (she had 4 up of my ex but none of them being couply). His friends and family don't appear to be having any great interaction with her on there. Hardly anyone ever posts on it. It's not exactly looking like love in a bucket. It didn't leave me thinking she was having the time of her life stepping into my shoes. However, when I found myself getting anxious and antsy about it last night - for the first time in ages - I thought 'No. I obviously AM still bothered. I need to nip this in the bud.' So I blocked her again. I suppose that might tip her off I'm still upset - but I don't really care what she thinks. It wasn't healthy for me. There are two Xmas nights out coming up that are going to be a big deal for our group of mutual friends. I'll not be attending. I know for a fact he'll be at both. He'll probably bring her. I'm CERTAIN he'll bring her. It hurts me to think of her taking my place at these events, of him slotting her in to replace me as though I never existed. But I'm staying away. I promised myself I'd avoid them until the end of January at least.

 

Oh, I can't wait until I'm indifferent to them. I want that SO much. I want to be able to sit and have a drink at the same table as the two of them and feel NOTHING. I'd give anything to be at that stage already. *sigh*

[melenkurion]

Hmmmmm.

 

I've found Christmas a lot tougher than I thought I would. I'd thought being away there'd be less triggers. But the entire bloody day is one enormous trigger. I was crying by about 4pm. There's a part of me --- a stupid, sadistic part --- that misses him. I even wanted to hear from him on Christmas day. I know, I know. It's so much better that I didn't hear from him.

 

At least things can't get any worse, now. I feel like I've got a chance to finally start to put it all behind me. But he's still in my damn head. So annoying.

[Fern]

Hmmmmm.

 

I've found Christmas a lot tougher than I thought I would. I'd thought being away there'd be less triggers. But the entire bloody day is one enormous trigger. I was crying by about 4pm. There's a part of me --- a stupid, sadistic part --- that misses him. I even wanted to hear from him on Christmas day. I know, I know. It's so much better that I didn't hear from him.

 

At least things can't get any worse, now. I feel like I've got a chance to finally start to put it all behind me. But he's still in my damn head. So annoying.

 

Ditto, ditto and ditto. Get the crying out, I say. It always helps me. If I feel like wallowing for the rest of 2010 - I'm going to wallow. 2011 is a brand new year. I already know it's going to be better - it can't be any worse.

 

It really is better that you didn't hear from him. My little encounter only served to make me feel TERRIBLE for a few days. You're right - that's as bad as it gets. Next Xmas he'll be a distant memory.

[melenkurion]

That is a comfort to me: 2011 has got to be a better year. 2010 really has been the worst year of my life. Wallowing for the rest of it sounds good. And I think at the moment it's pointless fighting it.

 

I do know it's best that I didn't hear from him. If I had, it would have set me back even further.

 

I wrote four hate-filled text messages to him yesterday. None sent, but still. What a waste of my time. That's not getting me healthy. At the end of November I was going a week without doing that.

 

Stupid as it sounds, I'm missing him. After all these years, it's hurting that he doesn't miss me. But I just have to accept that fact, I cannot change it. And why do I want that? I wouldn't take him back, so it's pointless.

[strangeways]

Hmmmmm.

 

I've found Christmas a lot tougher than I thought I would. I'd thought being away there'd be less triggers. But the entire bloody day is one enormous trigger. I was crying by about 4pm. There's a part of me --- a stupid, sadistic part --- that misses him. I even wanted to hear from him on Christmas day. I know, I know. It's so much better that I didn't hear from him.

 

At least things can't get any worse, now. I feel like I've got a chance to finally start to put it all behind me. But he's still in my damn head. So annoying.

 

I had a pretty rough Christmas too. I was with my whole family at my sisters so I thought it would be easier but, too be honest, it made it worse. I mentioned in another post that on the drive up to my sisters my 5yo was reading the road signs and saw the sign for where my ex came from and was asking whether we were going to see her this Christmas, so it didn't get off to a good start! Upset me and upset him. Hard to explain to him we wouldn't be seeing her again.

 

I too was waiting for a message. It didn't come. It sort of felt like the final nail in the coffin, like I've been completely erased from her life.

 

Just got to get through NYE and my birthdays in January so hopefully after that things will setle down and get back to normal and I can finally be rid of these emotions. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to work which is unusual for me!

[Fern]

That is a comfort to me: 2011 has got to be a better year. 2010 really has been the worst year of my life. Wallowing for the rest of it sounds good. And I think at the moment it's pointless fighting it.

 

I do know it's best that I didn't hear from him. If I had, it would have set me back even further.

 

I wrote four hate-filled text messages to him yesterday. None sent, but still. What a waste of my time. That's not getting me healthy. At the end of November I was going a week without doing that.

 

Stupid as it sounds, I'm missing him. After all these years, it's hurting that he doesn't miss me. But I just have to accept that fact, I cannot change it. And why do I want that? I wouldn't take him back, so it's pointless.

 

And ditto again.

 

It just takes time for the feelings to fade. The fact it's Xmas doesn't help matters. I'm out of my routine and everyone seems to expect me to be full of the season's cheer and I'm really NOT FEELING IT this year. Like Strangeways - I'm almost looking forward to getting back to work and getting back to a semblance of normality.

 

I'll be hibernating January I think, but I'm feeling hopeful too that by February things will be looking up. January is always the most depressing month of the year so I've no great hopes for it. I'll just stay close to home and be kind to myself until it's over.

 

Roll on 2011.

[Rose T]

Hi Melenkurion, Fern and Strangeways,

 

I found this thread tonight and wanted to thank you for all your insights - I was cheated on and left by my boyfriend of five years at the start of December in similar circumstances to Melenkurion - basically I found messages on his phone confirming my worst fears and insisted he moved out the same day. He didn't deny it and went.

 

It's been just over four weeks and I've been pretty dignified so far, even though I say so myself, although NC has wavered a bit as I did initially communicate my anger and pain - and sent Christmas wishes to his family, with whom I've been extremely close. The last few days have been tough but I've been reading around lots on the internet and it has helped me greatly. While I'm inevitably focussing on him and the OW - especially with New Year's Eve round the corner - I'm also trying to take these days of enforced holiday (my office is closed until Jan 3rd) to rediscover me and understand what makes me happy, as I recognise that co-dependency withdrawal is a big issue in my post-relationship grief. I've found two really good resources I wanted to share - one is called the Happiness Project, and can be found easily on internet search. The other was a post I just saw on a site called "The Good Guy Contract" about how to stop being a people pleaser (I'm not sure if I can post direct links, hence the key words).

 

Anyway, I'm basically trying to reconnect with what makes me happy and using the time to make positive resolutions about 2011, so I wish you all the best of luck and concur that our introspection can only serve our future relationships well!

[Fern]

Hi Melenkurion, Fern and Strangeways,

 

I found this thread tonight and wanted to thank you for all your insights - I was cheated on and left by my boyfriend of five years at the start of December in similar circumstances to Melenkurion - basically I found messages on his phone confirming my worst fears and insisted he moved out the same day. He didn't deny it and went.

 

It's been just over four weeks and I've been pretty dignified so far, even though I say so myself, although NC has wavered a bit as I did initially communicate my anger and pain - and sent Christmas wishes to his family, with whom I've been extremely close. The last few days have been tough but I've been reading around lots on the internet and it has helped me greatly. While I'm inevitably focussing on him and the OW - especially with New Year's Eve round the corner - I'm also trying to take these days of enforced holiday (my office is closed until Jan 3rd) to rediscover me and understand what makes me happy, as I recognise that co-dependency withdrawal is a big issue in my post-relationship grief. I've found two really good resources I wanted to share - one is called the Happiness Project, and can be found easily on internet search. The other was a post I just saw on a site called "The Good Guy Contract" about how to stop being a people pleaser (I'm not sure if I can post direct links, hence the key words).

 

Anyway, I'm basically trying to reconnect with what makes me happy and using the time to make positive resolutions about 2011, so I wish you all the best of luck and concur that our introspection can only serve our future relationships well!

 

You sound remarkably together for being only four weeks out. Kudos! I get the feeling you'll do OK without this loser...

 

Thank you for the links - I'm off to check them out now.

[melenkurion]

I haven't done too badly since I came back from visiting family, I guess. The period I thought I would find trickier, between Christmas and New Year, I did OK. I've been meeting people for meals and for coffee, and it's been easier to get it sorted. I had relied on my ex for a social life for far too long, and by the end he had given up on seeing anyone other than OG. Without him as gatekeeper, it's far easier to see folks.

 

Normally, I loathe New Year's Eve. This year I told myself that I would look forward, not back. I had a nice meal out with some friends, low key and quietly fun. They are older than me, and have been there, done that, and come out the other side better for it. I started to get back the feeling I had just before all the Christmas cr*p kicked in, that the future is going to be just fine for me. There was a fireworks display in a local pub, really good one, and I enjoyed it.

 

In a few days from now it'll be one month since I made any contact (he had asked me to look for something in the house that he hadn't been able to find). He's been in touch since then, but I have had to ignore his messages.

 

I'm planning a weekend away mid January to give me something to look forward to.

 

Rose T: you do sound amazingly together. I was still wanting my ex back after four weeks. I will look at the Happiness Project.

 

Like Strangeways, I have felt OK about heading back to work. I think the time out has done me good, though. Since NYE, I have noticed myself thinking about them less and less --- it's starting to change to I "remember" him an awful lot, rather than that he is constantly in my thoughts. It does feel different. Also, I am much less convinced they are having the wonderful time I used to think they were. Anyway, I can feel myself caring less. Just for now, I feel pretty good.

[melenkurion]

Oh: maybe I went a bit far, but a couple of days after Christmas I deleted every single photograph I ever took of him. The ones on my phone and FB are gone forever. The ones on the PC have been backed up so in theory they aren't gone forever. But they feel like they are. Heh. Eight years of his life, and he doesn't have one single photograph of himself from that time any more.

[Rose T]

Rose T: you do sound amazingly together. I was still wanting my ex back after four weeks. I will look at the Happiness Project.

 

Thanks, I've actually been feeling really awful, I have cried every day for a month.... but I so loved being his number one - you know when someone's shining that light on you and you feel so special? - that knowing he's bounced onto someone else I can't bear to be anything less. I did persist with a bit of LC, just a couple of texts to communicate how let down I was feeling, but was the only one initiating it so I backed off. At New Year he sent me a bland text wishing me the best but I ignored it and felt like I was getting my power back for the first time, even in a really small way. NC henceforth!

 

My ex has jumped into a relationship with another cheater he works with - in a small office of seven people - and I know it's going to get claustrophobic in a few months. That is a small and hopefully fleeting consolation - I can't wait to get to the 'don't care' stage. In the meantime I think you just have to trample any kindly thoughts about them with a simple thought - my mantra has become "he is a loser". It's not very grown up LOL but it's the best I've got at the moment. I say it out loud every time some sweet memory pops into my head and it's about reprogramming my thoughts!

 

Next time we'll have to make sure we dump any losers we meet before we get emotionally attached, right guys?

 

P.s. I think deleting all those photos was a great step. You know they're buried somewhere for a future date when you feel curious enough to look through them. I bet that day you'll be amazed by how unattractive he looks in them - that always happens to me with cool hindsight.

[strangeways]

it's starting to change to I "remember" him an awful lot, rather than that he is constantly in my thoughts. It does feel different.

 

Nicely put. I feel the same I just couldn't find a way to express it. I started noticing it a couple of days ago. Every now and again I have a thought that makes me wince a little but mostly I don't have those constant thoughts or questions in my head. It is what it is and I think I'm starting to accept it (touch wood).

 

The week between Christmas and New Years was a very reflective time for me and a lot of the old feelings came back. Even on NYE (I was at a friends house with about 7 couples and no other singles) I was checking my phone for a text. Never got one.

 

I got rid of all mometos soon after she left. Gifts, notes, stuff she left, all gone. Can't get rid of photos though. I do a bit of photography and have never deleted a photo. I see it as a part of my journey. All my photos are special to me, whatever the circumstances. They're stashed away from view but I'll be able to look at them one day and smile.

 

@Rose. Agreed. NO MORE LOSERS

[melenkurion]

Next time we'll have to make sure we dump any losers we meet before we get emotionally attached, right guys?

 

Definitely, no more losers! The warning signs were there pretty much from the beginning, but I ignored them because he was handsome and charming, and made me feel so special. I do need to work on why I didn't end things much earlier. It shows that all isn't great with me, in some way. But this time I am determined to learn. Strangeways referred to his last relationship as his epiphany relationship. I think this is my epiphany breakup, at least. I am determined to work myself out as best I can. Counselling is definitely helping, but in a hard to define kind of way.

 

My ex has jumped into a relationship with another cheater he works with - in a small office of seven people - and I know it's going to get claustrophobic in a few months. That is a small and hopefully fleeting consolation - I can't wait to get to the 'don't care' stage.

 

I still think about my ex and Other Guy's relationship far, far too much. I still want it to fail spectacularly, and yet I know that doesn't help me in any way whatsoever. I suppose it's a fairly natural reaction, however? As long as I can let it go eventually. I long for a healthy indifference. I don't like the bad thoughts that thinking of them together cause in me. I don't want to get bitter, fixated on them. "It's so unfair" is such a childish way for me to think. A lot of good things have happened to me in my life that were not fair.

 

At New Year he sent me a bland text wishing me the best but I ignored it and felt like I was getting my power back for the first time, even in a really small way.

 

I feel I did the right thing ignoring his "... blah blah blah. Oh, yeah, and I hope you have a nice Christmas with your family" message that I got a few days before Christmas. It was just yanking my chain I think, nothing more. There's nothing he has to say to me at this time that I could possibly want to hear.

 

Regarding the photos, it makes sense for me to get rid of snapshots from where I was seeing them fairly often. The others: well, in a couple of years or so I can always recover them if I want to, but I am not coming across them when I am unprepared. At the moment it simply hurts so much to see his image. What I did notice as I went through them is how rarely he was smiling. In the most recent, he looked very pre-occupied. He may have had more guilty feelings than I realised. The very fact that I am here analysing them means they had to go! I think I have a fairly poor visual memory, so deleting photos means I start to forget what he looks like.

 

The week between Christmas and New Years was a very reflective time for me and a lot of the old feelings came back.

 

I hope that although this was obviously painful, perhaps it helped in some way?

[Fern]

Oh: maybe I went a bit far, but a couple of days after Christmas I deleted every single photograph I ever took of him. The ones on my phone and FB are gone forever. The ones on the PC have been backed up so in theory they aren't gone forever. But they feel like they are. Heh. Eight years of his life, and he doesn't have one single photograph of himself from that time any more.

 

That's good. I deleted all those of my ex - except for some of us with our God-daughter (in case she wants to see what he looks like someday) and I sent copies of any pictures I had of him with his daughter to her mother before getting rid of those. It's a spring clean for your soul too, I think.

 

I'm doing a detox January - no going out, eating really well, saving money etc - so there's almost zero chance of me bumping into him for a full 4 weeks. I feel good about that. I feel...hopeful. There's still that tiny, stubborn, stupid part of my that's clinging on and doesn't want to let go (my ego, I suspect) but I'll have its ass kicked by February. You watch.

 

Here's to 2011, everyone. The year we accept they did us a favour.

[strangeways]

I hope that although this was obviously painful, perhaps it helped in some way?

 

Yes. Very much so. After the new year I felt...calmer (for want of a better word). It'll be a little while until I'm fully over her but I'm thinking about things I need to work on like my career. I've also started cooking properly again. I was always cooking great meals for her and I stopped cooking for myself after she left. Also started to get back into my running after a winter break. Basically, I'm starting to take care of myself and think about myself again which means I don't really have the time, will or energy to think about her. It's a big difference to a few weeks ago. Bound to be the odd bump in the road but I hope it lasts!

[EmperorR]

My ex fiancé cheated and left me for another guy, aug 2008 they are still together and engaged so you never know.

 

Time is the great healer

[Fern]

My ex fiancé cheated and left me for another guy, aug 2008 they are still together and engaged so you never know.

 

Time is the great healer

 

How do you feel now about the fact they're still together? I'm coming to terms with the fact that my Ex and his new partner MIGHT actually be together a long time. She's got nobody else and he's very smitten. *sigh*

 

I try to console myself with the thought that it's not going to be an easy relationship - lots of baggage and drama on her part, plus she's supposed to be very clingy and a bit mental. As for him - very selfish, super negative and depressed a lot of the time. And they're both skint. Money worries and romance don't go hand in hand. I like to imagine that as my life starts to improve again - his is going to start getting worse. The honeymoon period doesn't last forever.

 

Of course, what would REALLY help me is if I just didn't care at all...

[melenkurion]

strangeways: I get what you mean about cooking properly as a big step. I haven't reached there yet. I am only cooking properly when I have people over for meals. So I am trying to have people over a fair bit . For most of my adult life I have made a point of cooking proper meals, even when I was only doing them for myself. Slowly, my ex took over the cooking and made it very much his territory --- it went from him cooking no meals ever, to him cooking all of them. I didn't like either extreme much. Hmmmm. I hadn't even realised that that might be part of the reason I'm not cooking for myself until I stopped to think just then. Cooking was very much his thing, by the end.

 

EmperorR: It sounds like you somehow have come to terms with that? I know that I am clinging way, way to much on the idea that my ex and the other guy will fall apart soon. Like Fern says, I really need to let it go. They could be together forever, for all I know. I need to make myself a happy life regardless of what happens to them. Was it purely time, or did something else help you heal?

 

Here's to 2011, everyone. The year we accept they did us a favour.

You bet!

[Fern]

EmperorR: It sounds like you somehow have come to terms with that? I know that I am clinging way, way to much on the idea that my ex and the other guy will fall apart soon. Like Fern says, I really need to let it go. They could be together forever, for all I know. I need to make myself a happy life regardless of what happens to them. Was it purely time, or did something else help you heal?

 

 

You bet!

 

I'm still the same! I love hearing stories of how these type of relationships fail and I still want them to split to the depths of my black little heart. But it's much less of an obsession point than it used to be for me. I know too that it's for the best that they're currently still together - I'm not strong enough yet to say that I'd be able to turn him down if he came crawling back (which he would do if they split - he's incapable of being on his own). Think back - I'll bet you don't care as much now as you did even just a month ago.

 

Time will take care of it. I'd guess the odds of our exes new relationships being lasting and fulfilling ones are VERY slim. I'd imagine most relationships born under these circumstances don't last very long. It helps me to remember that even if it IS 'successful' (meaning that it lasts, if longevity is the ultimate measure of success in love) - they're still the same two lousy cheaters they always were. He's still got all the bad points he always had, she's still got all the baggage that follows her everywhere she goes. In the long run they're not going to be any happier than he was with me. Much less happy eventually, I'd imagine. He wasn't unhappy because of something I did or didn't do - he was unhappy because that's who he is.

 

It's hard to keep that in mind though, when you're at your lowest ebb and feeling rejected and worthless. Doesn't mean it's not true. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to wish the two of them 'the best' but I'm sure that in a few months I'll stop caring whether they're happy or not. And logic and experience tell me that by the time I stop caring - they'll probably be imploding.

[melenkurion]

Think back - I'll bet you don't care as much now as you did even just a month ago.

 

Yes I guess that is true. Every weekend I would make myself miserable with intrusive thoughts of them having a lovely time together. How idiotic, the only person that hurts is myself. Now I am trying my damnedest to have a nice time for me. I don't hate the weekends any more. My counsellor suggested yesterday that I try and avoid triggers. I have been avoiding asking for mutual friends to give me news about him (I honestly have). But people volunteered stuff without me asking it, and it caused setbacks (the satanism was the biggest). She suggested I tell my friends not to tell me anything.

 

I am counting my blessings: I have a nice house that I love, plenty of room for me and my things, and a nice garden for the summer. I have my cats to keep me company when I feel low, and they are a great comfort to me. My family love me, and what's more, they respect me. My friends (and "our" friends) think I am dignified, tell me how much they respect me for the way I am dealing with this. Everyone is telling me I look the best they have seen me look in years. I have many more opportunities to travel and have fun. He just wanted to sit in the pub and get wasted all the time. I'm seeing more of my friends than ever before. I will come out of this better.

 

Whether or not ex and OG have a long, happy relationship: I am much better off without him.