happilyconfused Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 I've been friends with a lady for two and a half years. She had a boyfriend forever so I always knew our flirting was just flirting, but I still had a sense that she at least found me pleasant to be around. There's like and respect between us. Still, I don't think we've never spent enough time alone as pals or disclosed enough to each other to be real "friend-friends" (as in "friendzone"). I developed a huge crush on her and told lots of folks about it, figured it was no big deal. I'd imagine that she knew it, too. It didn't bother me (respect, ya know?). She found out her boyfriend was a cheater and was devastated, so she's been hanging out with my friends and I a lot again. We're a pretty good group, I'd say...we all raise hell well together. Well, things have been going great, and I've been enjoying her company again, to say the least, and have been making an active effort to keep my imagination in check as far as she goes. Well, I've done a couple of nice, thoughtful little things (nothing fancy, really) for her, and she's been warming up, or so I've convinced myself. I'm as nice to her as can be, but have only expressed my interest by looking into her eyes, looking at her face, and hugging her sometimes. Nothing deliberate. I caught her just grinning like a cheshire cat at me one time at a dinner party at my place...I walked into the room and it was just she and I...I said "Yes?" and she seemed a little startled and said something like "Oh, nothing...I was just...". She touches me a LOT...I noticed that she often grabs people's arms when communicating, like lots of girls I know, but she touches me every time she sees me and has damn near groped me before. I dropped her off one night latenight, and she gave me two nice kisses on the cheek, one after the other (soft, sweet kisses, not pecks) and I pecked some part of her shoulder or neck back, but I'm really not sure. Then I volunteered to walk her to her door, to let her know I was there and available, but with no intention of deep kissing her or anything. She kissed me on the cheek again and I grinned like a cat and looked in her eyes. Well, I went on vacation for a week and she did the same. When we were out the other night, she kissed me (soft again) on the cheek early in the night and in front of all our friends. We didn't talk a lot because I was feeling kind of strong and silent, but when I sat next to her, every time someone would walk by she'd swing her barstool and push her legs against me. We talked without talking several times (I look her in the eyes, she smiles and winks or nods). I asked "can I borrow your butt?" referring to her cigarrette, and she promptly stuck her real butt in my face, which I playfully smacked. We all partied and danced until really late that night (about 4 AM). When my friend was driving us home, I leaned over and sang the song being played in her ear (not really sure how close I was, but it felt close enough to be obvious). I was going to ask her out for the weekend, but she's out of town to help her mom recover from surgery. I really think I should do SOMETHING, but am not sure what. We graduate in a few months. I don't want to own her...I just want to spend some time with her and enjoy her (making out included) company. Is there any harm in trying? And, how should it be done? Should I keep subtley showing interest by doing stuff like communicating silently with her, singing in her ear, etc. and just watch for her response/let her let me know if I should make a move? That's my initial idea (that and just ask her out for a drink), but I've had people advise me to "tell her how I feel" and/or "take her out on a real date." I'm of the mind that I should be cool and just feel things out. But is that too passive? Thanks for any opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 5, 2004 Share Posted March 5, 2004 I've had people advise me to "tell her how I feel It seems to be some sort of trend for people to urge others to confess all even before dating someone. I'd suggest you opt for a few dates before you get into blabbing about your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
happilyconfused Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 yeah, that's what I'm going to do..."confessing" is a little too apologetic, when there's really nothing to apoligize for I don't see any reason why she wouldn't go out with me. If something happens, great. If not, that's also cool. I like her regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
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