single, hurting and possibly alcoholic

[invisible89]

I've always been quite shy and found it hard to make new friends. Since I graduated high school I haven't really opened up to anyone new in either a platonic or romantic lights. Now as a college senior, the time to be in a relationship has never been more right but my shyness and insociability have always gotten the best of me and continue to do so to this day.

 

I must say, without a relationship to "slow me down", I have been able to make some notable accomplishments for a 21 year old. I am a licensed pilot and flight instructor, a current intern at a major airline, and have just 12 credits remaining towards my bachelors degree; and if anyone is familiar with the Good Charlotte track "girls don't like boys (girls like cars and money)" track, I have a very nice car and a decent wage. However, despite all the things I believe I have going for me, I find it impossible to meet a decent, intelligent, pretty, wonderful, girl.

 

The bulk of my plight seems to stem from my inability to approach girls and my belief that attractive looking girls I see must have better things to do than to talk to me. The fact that I've never been to a club, or regularly attend any type of social event probably isn't helping either. Not to mention my college and career field in general is extremely male dominated.

 

I have resorted to some self destructive habits like drinking and smoking to help mask the situation, but I know deep down that those things don't really solve anything. The longer I remain single, the more bitter I seem to get; and its approaching a point where I think I'll remain this way forever.

[denise_xo]

I've always been quite shy and found it hard to make new friends. Since I graduated high school I haven't really opened up to anyone new in either a platonic or romantic lights. Now as a college senior, the time to be in a relationship has never been more right but my shyness and insociability have always gotten the best of me and continue to do so to this day.

 

I must say, without a relationship to "slow me down", I have been able to make some notable accomplishments for a 21 year old. I am a licensed pilot and flight instructor, a current intern at a major airline, and have just 12 credits remaining towards my bachelors degree; and if anyone is familiar with the Good Charlotte track "girls don't like boys (girls like cars and money)" track, I have a very nice car and a decent wage. However, despite all the things I believe I have going for me, I find it impossible to meet a decent, intelligent, pretty, wonderful, girl.

 

The bulk of my plight seems to stem from my inability to approach girls and my belief that attractive looking girls I see must have better things to do than to talk to me. The fact that I've never been to a club, or regularly attend any type of social event probably isn't helping either. Not to mention my college and career field in general is extremely male dominated.

 

I have resorted to some self destructive habits like drinking and smoking to help mask the situation, but I know deep down that those things don't really solve anything. The longer I remain single, the more bitter I seem to get; and its approaching a point where I think I'll remain this way forever.

 

How about finding some kind of social hobby that's group oriented and where there's likely to be a fair amount of women as well as men?

 

I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but there are a fair amount of people around who haven't had a bf/gf at your age. I didn't have a proper relationship until I was 21.

 

Definitely drop that drinking habit - I've been an alcoholic and believe me when I say it only gets uglier if you don't stop in time.

[dreamingoftigers]

It sounds like you don't give yourself much of a break at all. If you can't reach out to someone right away, maybe try meditating until you increase the joy and confidence in yourself so that you can.

 

Try talking with other people, you don't have to hit the mark the first time. As well, any rejection you would face is not as bad as your mind has made it out to be.

 

What's worse: being shot down 10 times or spending the rest of your life the way you have been? Seems like you have nothing to lose.

[ReggieAlex]

You are not giving yourself much credit. So far it looks like you have accomplished a lot. However, the things you have NOT accomplished, especially in dating, are simply overwhelming you. There are experts in the area of dating who can offer some specific advise and training to help you. I hope you will explore my resources to see if these can help.

 

Further to that though, you also need a boost in the area of self-esteem. I have to agree with Denise XO. Get a hold of this drinking habit now, while it does not control you completely. The thing about drinking like any other vice, is that we think it is too weak to control us, until it is too strong to break.

 

 

Hats off to you for writing. I know you'll pull through this.

 

my best,

ReggieAlex

[invisible89]

Thanks guys.

 

Your messages have really changed my perspective. I've learned that to get over a fear of rejection, one must develop an even greater fear of regret.

 

[You Go Girl]

I suggest you work on the friends issue first. When you make friends, whether female or male, your social circle expands, and meeting people to date will come naturally. I also understand you are very busy. However between school and work, there must be social events. Start with those and then expand with other interests you have, hobbies, church, whatever you are into.

As for the drinking...well you do realize that it will not only destroy your possibility to have a successful relationship, but will eventually destroy your career too? Double wammy, and definitely not worth it.

 

You know the rules for expelling drinking pilots. I think it's a no second chance thing. Lose your license the first time, right?

[Trinity2]

I've always been quite shy and found it hard to make new friends. Since I graduated high school I haven't really opened up to anyone new in either a platonic or romantic lights. Now as a college senior, the time to be in a relationship has never been more right but my shyness and insociability have always gotten the best of me and continue to do so to this day.

 

I must say, without a relationship to "slow me down", I have been able to make some notable accomplishments for a 21 year old. I am a licensed pilot and flight instructor, a current intern at a major airline, and have just 12 credits remaining towards my bachelors degree; and if anyone is familiar with the Good Charlotte track "girls don't like boys (girls like cars and money)" track, I have a very nice car and a decent wage. However, despite all the things I believe I have going for me, I find it impossible to meet a decent, intelligent, pretty, wonderful, girl.

 

The bulk of my plight seems to stem from my inability to approach girls and my belief that attractive looking girls I see must have better things to do than to talk to me. The fact that I've never been to a club, or regularly attend any type of social event probably isn't helping either. Not to mention my college and career field in general is extremely male dominated.

 

I have resorted to some self destructive habits like drinking and smoking to help mask the situation, but I know deep down that those things don't really solve anything. The longer I remain single, the more bitter I seem to get; and its approaching a point where I think I'll remain this way forever.

 

Ahhhh, hang in there and I really hope you meet someone soon. I don't want you to ruin your life though until that happens. It will, you will meet a very nice person, but be selective (as you have).

 

I understand where you are coming from and I am resolved I guess to being single:mad: