"The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome

[durkadurka]

about 4 months after she left she called me (the only time she ever did) and with her voice trembling and shaking in fear she told me shes accidently been paying our tv and internet account instead of her own. so she owes the company about 500 bucks.

 

out of honor, and integrity, not hoping this good deed would make her come running back, I transfered the money out of mine and into hers. I honestly didnt see the extra funds. After all she did to me, and how she treated me like a pathetic waste of her time, I did this for her. I could have said too freakin bad.

 

The thing that hurt me the most in this situation was how fearful she was of me. You could hear her hyperventilating on the other end of the phone. 5 years and she cant even call me to explain a simple misunderstanding. I will never understand how and why she fears me so much. I have never been any threat to her.

 

I saw her in the grocery store the other week and she went pale white and literally, i mean literally, ran out of the store and into her car. it just burns me up. makes me feel like some sort of vicious threat. A smile and a hello would have made my day.

 

Honor and integrity are something that is earned not given. Most girls capitalize on what that weakness.

[Andrew1984]

you are right my friend. Perhaps I should spend some time thinking about your statement.

[durkadurka]

you are right my friend. Perhaps I should spend some time thinking about your statement.

 

Read my previous post again. My ex capitalized on the loyalty and faith that I have to the people that I cared about it.

 

She used my trip down to visit her as a vehicle to relieve her guilt, and to justify her actions. She did it so that she could validate to herself that what I did wasn't enough.

 

Seriously, it was a waste, especially knowing she would never do the same for me.

[bl22]

Your post sums up my ex girlfriend perfectly. Never have i met such a loving beautiful person, and start of Oct G.I.G.S got in there. I stil think she loves me, but NC right now.

 

Problem is, last thing i said to her was 'I dont want to be friends with someone like you, dont contact me again'

 

and she hasnt. makes me wonder if she'll break NC 1 day or whether that was the last thing ill say to her.

[homebrew]

Homebrew,

I am the guy who dragged this breakup for 3 months. My ex followed GIGS to the letter, and it was hard for me to accept because we are first loves and even lost our virginity to each other in high school. We are now in our second year of college after a 2.5 year relationship. She bounced me around a lot, giving me hope, taking it away, ect. I held on to hope thinking i could win her back. I did EVERYTHING wrong. Acted needy, desperate, controlling, everything. The first month was a no contact month, but we met up after that and it all went downhill from there. She just seemed to be totally into me, though she wouldnt commit then would go ice cold for a while then miss me- back and forth back and forth.

 

She now parties, hooks up with other guys, ect, and seems to have forgotten about me, the pathetic ex who cant accept things. She does still tell me, however, that she loves me romantically and wants another shot in the future. I want to let her go like you did, mature and confident, but i feel it is too late. I blew up with her last night after getting cold shoulder text responses from her while she told me she is open to sex with other guys. I said something like

 

"I am sick of dealing with your s**t. I have done everything i can to show you how much i love you and that i want to work through things with you, all while you mind F**ked me. Time for someone else to deal with your bull s**t. Have a good life. Bye"

 

she replied with "whatever, bye." I am ready to move on with my life, after 3 months of pain. However, I feel as if i have completely destroyed any hope of reconciliation in the future by doing everything wrong and by dropping things like i did with that text. Is it possible for me to somehow leave her on a good note after all this? I want to leave possibilites for the future open, and i feel as if i have completely screwed them up, and i want her to look back on me and remember me as I usually am, and not what i became after this break up. You seem to have a very good grasp on this topic. Advice?

 

thx

 

YOUR EX WOULD LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY AND CHANCE TO ENTER INTO A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU WHEN SHE IS READY!

Isn’t that what you said you wanted?

 

If that was your goal and that was what you truly wanted, you wouldn’t be sending her nasty messages. You see, you are not being 100% honest with yourself. That is your first problem...

 

What you really want is for the romantic relationship you seek with her to commence at once, on your schedule, regardless if that is what she wants / needs at the moment. Because you feel this way, it will be impossible for you to respect her decision / choice for “Greener Grass” instead of her entering into a romantic relationship with.

 

That is your second problem, that is where the disappointment / anger is coming from.

 

You are just going to accept the fact that neither one of you is wrong in what you want. Her for wanting to have the college experience or you wanting to be in a romantic relationship with her.

 

You love her, right? Well then love her enough to allow her to enjoy the college experience. She isn’t going to be of any use to you or any romantic relationship until she gets it out of her system.

 

I know you are worried about the impact of what that means for you or the potentional future relationship. Let’s look a look at what you seem to be concerned with:

 

She now parties

 

So what. It’s normal for people her age to do that. She will one day get sick of that lifestyle, most people get burned out on it after a while. Does the fact that she parties change the way she thinks or feels about you? No!

 

Hooks up / Sex with other guys

 

So what. In fact, it makes you look even better. Why? Because at some point, she is going to get sick and tired of hooking up and want that romantic relationship that she says she wants will not be with someone she hooks up with. When she is hooking up, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. It has does not change the way she thinks and feels about you.

 

She will forget about me

 

That just isn’t the case. She never will. She continues to contact you and would like you to be in her life. What you have an issue with is that she does contact you or want to see you in the manner that you would like.

 

She tells you that she loves you romantically and wants another shot in the future

 

YOU EX WOULD LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY AND CHANCE TO ENTER INTO A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU WHEN SHE IS READY!

 

Have you ever considered taking her at her word? Just remember… It’s when is also ready to enter into a relationship. If you are single, great. If you are not, you will not care.

 

Moving along now…

 

Your goals:

 

Leave on a good note – Easy enough to solve (see below)

 

I want to leave possibilities for the future open – Mission is already accomplished!

 

Let’s fix the last impression you left her with by sending her a text or email. First off, your ex is not devoid of all emotions. She knows this is hard on you. She responded from your nasty message with “whatever”. She knew that wasn’t the real you and it was just your frustration and anger coming out.

 

So you don’t have to do anything fancy here. Just be yourself / be cute / make light of the situation.

 

Example: Hey Gorgeous, Sorry about that last message, I was having the absolute worst day and took it out on you. You know you will always be my Baby!

 

That is it! Nothing more, nothing less. Done! Impression is changed! You don’t need to do another thing. Got that?

 

DO NOT WANT OR EXPECT A RESPONSE FROM HER! REMEMBER, THAT IS NOT WHAT WE WERE AFTER!

 

Since you are still going through the stages of the break up. Perfectly normal. You need to go be 100% NO CONTACT for a while. I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR EX SAYS, YOU WILL NOT AND CANNOT RESPOND! This VERY, VERY important! No Contact gives the opportunity to heal and it also prevents you from getting in the way of your ultimate goal, which is to leave you the very best chance for reconciliation in the future.

 

Should your ex contact you on Thanksgiving or Christmas, use my email I sent my ex as a template (look in my other thread). Do not change or add too much to it…. Customize it so that she sees you support and understand her wanting the have college experience. Do not beg, do not guilt, do not tell her you are waiting on her, do not tell her how awesome you are! Just be matter of fact. You think it’s awesome and hope she is having fun… That is about it. My email should handle why you disappeared so need to explain.

 

Then go back to 100% no contact FOREVER, unless she is KNOCKING ON YOUR FRONT DOOR BEGGING FOR YOU BACK. Do not respond to her unless she is sending 5 – 10 emails a day and texting you ever 5 minutes for a least a week.

 

When you are dating someone that you REALLY, REALLY like or you are TOTALLY OVER the ex (a year or more), then you can go limited contact. That means only responding to her when she contacts you. Be short, be nice, be brief.

 

WARNING: Your EX is not going to be truly ready for a romantic relationship with you for a long, long time. If it is anything less than a year or two, I promise you that she is not ready. All you would be is a rebound. So don’t fall into that “trap”!

 

Final Advice – Move On and Love Yourself! Do not wait around for her. Trust me… it’s when you are 100% over them or you meet someone new when they seem to pop up.

 

Good luck!

[bl22]

Good advice Homebrew. You've made me feel a little better about my situation, I do feel my ex stil loves me but couldnt understand why she was hurting me and going off with friends if she loved me.

 

I made all the classic mistakes of begging, pleading myself and im hoping she sees past them and looks at the relationship we had together and remembers the good times. I know in a years time I'll be in a much, much better place than i am right now so when that time comes I'll be able to make a much better decision on what to do and where to go.

 

It seems like every girl goes through this at some stage, i think we're just the unlucky ones of catching them at the wrong time.

[Capital P]

This is about 50% completely wrong.

Dont send your a text telling they will "always be your baby"

How attractive do you think you are to someone when they have been out ****ing people and you lie there like a doormat and insinuate that you want to get back with them.

You know what builds attraction? Chasing, thats is, the only thing that will make her attracted to you here is your value going up, and he wanting it.

And that is when she will chase

If she does not think you are over it, then she does not have to balance the feelings of being broken up.

because in her head she knows she can get you back at any point

 

And besides that, we are men. GIG syndrom. What the **** ever.

If she wants to go out an **** other guys fine. But dont take her back.

 

Dont even contemplate taking her back and dont play all this stupid nice guy bull****. Tell her to **** off and blank her calls.

 

She is ****ing other people. She doesnt deserve to be pampered and "understood"

Im sorry, but she wants dick, she is out there trying to get as much dick as possible. And the only reason she will ever want your dick again is if the dick she is currently getting gets boring.

 

Are you going to sit there and wait for that to happen?

Or are you going to man up and go and **** some other women?

 

****ing hell, what happened to being a man, its becoming embarrassing!!

 

And i would just like to add, that this whole post is made to make the author feel scientific about their weak behaviour.

You dont sound clever, you just sound hung up

And everyone agreeing. be honest. You are only agreeing because you want reason to forgive your ex if she ever takes your pathetic ass back once shes got tired of getting boned by everyone else

 

MAN UP!!

[Capital P]

It seems like every girl goes through this at some stage, i think we're just the unlucky ones of catching them at the wrong time.

 

Seriously, what? dude, it aint YOUR fault. Its not nature making them wake up one morning and want dick. Girls naturally gravitate towards one guy.

You would have ****ed up, become needy, all those things, and she left.

If you were Brad Pitt would she have left?

Hell ****ing no

Its her fault, she pissed on you, now take her off that dam pedestal and enjoy ur life

[homebrew]

Seriously, what? dude, it aint YOUR fault. Its not nature making them wake up one morning and want dick. Girls naturally gravitate towards one guy.

You would have ****ed up, become needy, all those things, and she left.

If you were Brad Pitt would she have left?

Hell ****ing no

Its her fault, she pissed on you, now take her off that dam pedestal and enjoy ur life

 

Based on your response, it speaks volumes as to your maturity level, what little if no respect you have for women and relationships in general.

 

You sir, have no idea what real love or what being a real man is and for that, I feel sorry for you.

 

Ignore small minded obnoxious individuals like Capital P. It's obvious as to why he is on LS. Capital P is just a jealous, angry and bitter person because he can't find a women that will actually love him back. Base on his response, I couldn't possibly imagine why.

 

Remember People - Hurt People, Hurt People... Our Buddy, Capital P is a perfect example of this.

[iknow]

this is the perfect explanation for what my ex did. we started off university in a relationship and I think all his friends had fun first year being single and he missed out on this. In the back of my mind maybe I always knew this would happen...

So he broke up with me at the start of second year. He can now be independent, be single and do whatever the f*** he wants. And you know what? Even though I know this, it still sucks and still hurts. My only hope is that maybe he will realize that it is not better being alone, and that his new found love of partying and being single will fizzle and he will realize how stupid he was and how he took me for granted. I just worry it will be too late.

[Capital P]

Based on your response, it speaks volumes as to your maturity level, what little if no respect you have for women and relationships in general.

 

You sir, have no idea what real love or what being a real man is and for that, I feel sorry for you.

 

Ignore small minded obnoxious individuals like Capital P. It's obvious as to why he is on LS. Capital P is just a jealous, angry and bitter person because he can't find a women that will actually love him back. Base on his response, I couldn't possibly imagine why.

 

Remember People - Hurt People, Hurt People... Our Buddy, Capital P is a perfect example of this.

 

lol, yea u have already said all this in your other thread.

so the girl above me, who's boyfriend dumped her and is now ****ing other people. And she is waiting around for him to come back to her.

That is healthy right?

That is a mature relationship that i can't understand?

 

You cant walk away from your ex. You came up with some ridiculous theory on here to explain you being weak and are now passing it on to other people.

To the girl above. he is ****ing other people. Every night he is kissing them , carressing them, banging their brains out and then hugging them, stroking their hair and sleeping with them.

 

And you want to sit around and wait for him to come back to you

 

Yea, IM the one who has no idea.

[homebrew]

this is the perfect explanation for what my ex did. we started off university in a relationship and I think all his friends had fun first year being single and he missed out on this. In the back of my mind maybe I always knew this would happen...

So he broke up with me at the start of second year. He can now be independent, be single and do whatever the f*** he wants. And you know what? Even though I know this, it still sucks and still hurts. My only hope is that maybe he will realize that it is not better being alone, and that his new found love of partying and being single will fizzle and he will realize how stupid he was and how he took me for granted. I just worry it will be too late.

 

Being in your shoes does suck and it hurts. You are not alone, many of us have gone through this. It takes time. My advice is to love yourself and move on.

 

Just so you know, as he gets older and matures, he will most defiantly outgrow this phase so it is never too late. He thinks / believes he is doing what is best for him, and in a way what is best for you (by not being with you). Also, just because he is not "with" you does not mean that he doesn't still think / care about you.

[iknow]

Im actually not sitting and waiting around, if I found someone I liked I would not turn them down.

And to answer your second point, I know right now he is not seeing any other girls but it does not matter what he is doing with other girls, I am confident in myself and I know that what we had was amazing. I just want him to realize he screwed up and regret it. I know that is hard to understand, because I do not even understand it, but I just want him to regret it at some point to feel the pain I am feeling now

 

Thank you homebrew, I really appreciate all that you have done in this thread.

[Capital P]

Im actually not sitting and waiting around, if I found someone I liked I would not turn them down.

And to answer your second point, I know right now he is not seeing any other girls but it does not matter what he is doing with other girls, I am confident in myself and I know that what we had was amazing. I just want him to realize he screwed up and regret it. I know that is hard to understand, because I do not even understand it, but I just want him to regret it at some point to feel the pain I am feeling now

 

Thank you homebrew, I really appreciate all that you have done in this thread.

 

He broke up with you to sleep with other women. If he isnt sleeping with other women it wont be for the want of trying.

Yes you want answers. Yes you want him to tell you how much he has hurt you.

You dont need that though, not to move on. you may never get it.

You cant worry about him coming back you need to accept that you arent together and begin moving on.

The only reason he will come back to you is if he doesnt find anyone else

So ask yourself if you want to be his back up plan

[homebrew]

lol, yea u have already said all this in your other thread.

so the girl above me, who's boyfriend dumped her and is now ****ing other people. And she is waiting around for him to come back to her.

That is healthy right?

That is a mature relationship that i can't understand?

 

You cant walk away from your ex. You came up with some ridiculous theory on here to explain you being weak and are now passing it on to other people.

To the girl above. he is ****ing other people. Every night he is kissing them , carressing them, banging their brains out and then hugging them, stroking their hair and sleeping with them.

 

And you want to sit around and wait for him to come back to you

 

Yea, IM the one who has no idea.

 

What is it with your fascination with what an ex does after a break up? Who cares! Once the relationship is over, it simply doesn't matter what the other person does. It has absolutely nothing to do with how they feel about you or the relationship in general.

 

The girl above is moving along just fine. Neither her nor I are sitting around waiting on anyone. She is sad and grieving the loss of the relationship, that is perfectly normal and healthy thing to do.

 

If it's anyone that has a problem, that would be you. Based on all how vile your responses are, it’s clear to everyone on here that you must have been hurt very badly. All that comes out of you is anger and hate.

 

If you want help, we are here for you. Otherwise you serve no meaningful purpose to any of us and I request that you leave.

[Capital P]

"I know right now he is not seeing any other girls but it does not matter what he is doing with other girls"

 

That is just one line from the above post. Completely contradictory.

If you guys cant admit that you cant move on, i dont care, it does not personally affect me. But you need to admit it to yourselves, that way people can actually help you.

 

You may notice that i have been on these boards a lot longer than you have , and have given out more advice than you have.

You came on here to post some god awful theory to validate to yourself that what you did was right.

Well im telling you , it wasnt.

It isnt attractive for a woman if a man packs her bags for her, helps her move out and then waits for her while she goes and ****s about.

 

If you had moved out, left her to it, disappeared, something that takes BALLS, then you might have had her back by now.

 

But you didnt , you took the wuss way out and now you are here to validate it to yourself. Thats fine

But dont go spreading thi drivel to other people who's partners leave them.

 

You dont agree with what i say because it means you have to face the

[homebrew]

"I know right now he is not seeing any other girls but it does not matter what he is doing with other girls"

 

That is just one line from the above post. Completely contradictory.

If you guys cant admit that you cant move on, i dont care, it does not personally affect me. But you need to admit it to yourselves, that way people can actually help you.

 

You may notice that i have been on these boards a lot longer than you have , and have given out more advice than you have.

You came on here to post some god awful theory to validate to yourself that what you did was right.

Well im telling you , it wasnt.

It isnt attractive for a woman if a man packs her bags for her, helps her move out and then waits for her while she goes and ****s about.

 

If you had moved out, left her to it, disappeared, something that takes BALLS, then you might have had her back by now.

 

But you didnt , you took the wuss way out and now you are here to validate it to yourself. Thats fine

But dont go spreading thi drivel to other people who's partners leave them.

 

You dont agree with what i say because it means you have to face the

 

Captain P's view of a relationship:

 

The person in a relationship with Captain P forfeits their bodies and the desire to have sex over to him. They are no longer allowed to have any sort of free will or a thought of their own unless it something Captain P deems permissible. Under no circumstance whatsoever, are they ever allowed or permitted to end a relationship with Captain P, period.

 

Should they choose to end the relationship, it is not by their own free will or doing what they think is best for them. The only reason for them to do so is with the sole purpose of causing Captain P as much pain as humanly possible. Since they already forfeited their bodies and the desire to have sex over to Captain P, the only reason for them to ever have sex, which they no longer are permitted to do out of love or enjoyment, is only with the sole purpose to cause Captain P pain.

 

Once someone has met Captain P, the life they once had or wanted is now over, forever. From that day forward their sole purpose / existence now belongs to Captain P and Captain P alone. They either get to live a life where only Captain P needs and desires are met or they are forced to sleep with as many people as they can with only intent to hurt Captain P.

__________________________________________________ _______________

 

You are right Captain P, We all should take advice from you. We clearly had no idea of what a “healthy” relationship that was based on love, respect and understanding was until we met you. Thank you!

 

I hope you will please forgive us all for ever doubting your superior intellect.

[Leandro]

Captain P's view of a relationship:

 

The person in a relationship with Captain P forfeits their bodies and the desire to have sex over to him. They are no longer allowed to have any sort of free will or a thought of their own unless it something Captain P deems permissible. Under no circumstance whatsoever, are they ever allowed or permitted to end a relationship with Captain P, period.

 

Should they choose to end the relationship, it is not by their own free will or doing what they think is best for them. The only reason for them to do so is with the sole purpose of causing Captain P as much pain as humanly possible. Since they already forfeited their bodies and the desire to have sex over to Captain P, the only reason for them to ever have sex, which they no longer are permitted to do out of love or enjoyment, is only with the sole purpose to cause Captain P pain.

 

Once someone has met Captain P, the life they once had or wanted is now over, forever. From that day forward their sole purpose / existence now belongs to Captain P and Captain P alone. They either get to live a life where only Captain P needs and desires are met or they are forced to sleep with as many people as they can with only intent to hurt Captain P.

__________________________________________________ _______________

 

You are right Captain P, We all should take advice from you. We clearly had no idea of what a “healthy” relationship that was based on love, respect and understanding was until we met you. Thank you!

 

I hope you will please forgive us all for ever doubting your superior intellect.

hehehehe. This is funny.

[Weekender]

Okay, I've tried to read thru this thread and the other one claiming you have the best chance of maintaining dignity and getting the ex back. I have to agree with Capital P here.

 

First of all, this not a syndrome, which is disease or disorder. It's a choice. The other person chooses to leave to play the field.

 

You cannot give somebody false hope that the ex will come back if they let go, because in the back of their mind they haven't let go...they are going thru the motions hoping to get the ex back. Then it not about healing themselves; it's to get the ex back!

[Hhhh]

Wtff happen to real relationships, so people and up and leave and **** other people whenever they get bored and have a excuse for it in the end?

 

To the girl whose boyfriend left for lack of fun in university thats bull**** he chose his friends, other women over you which should never be the case if you love someone they are always first priority and no matter what comes your way you work past it.

 

this is bull**** the only i would say this would work if the person with "GIGS" doesnt flirt or **** anyone else and actually does use the time to focus on something productive such a career or education not partying

[Weekender]

Wtff happen to real relationships, so people and up and leave and **** other people whenever they get bored and have a excuse for it in the end?

 

To the girl whose boyfriend left for lack of fun in university thats bull**** he chose his friends, other women over you which should never be the case if you love someone they are always first priority and no matter what comes your way you work past it.

 

this is bull**** the only i would say this would work if the person with "GIGS" doesnt flirt or **** anyone else and actually does use the time to focus on something productive such a career or education not partying

 

Exactly. I totally agree!

[homebrew]

Wtff happen to real relationships, so people and up and leave and **** other people whenever they get bored and have a excuse for it in the end?

 

To the girl whose boyfriend left for lack of fun in university thats bull**** he chose his friends, other women over you which should never be the case if you love someone they are always first priority and no matter what comes your way you work past it.

 

this is bull**** the only i would say this would work if the person with "GIGS" doesnt flirt or **** anyone else and actually does use the time to focus on something productive such a career or education not partying

 

If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not love.

 

You don't OWN the person you are dating! Since when do you get to decide whether or not the reason they want / need to break up is acceptable or not?

[homebrew]

Wtff happen to real relationships, so people and up and leave and **** other people whenever they get bored and have a excuse for it in the end?

 

To the girl whose boyfriend left for lack of fun in university thats bull**** he chose his friends, other women over you which should never be the case if you love someone they are always first priority and no matter what comes your way you work past it.

 

this is bull**** the only i would say this would work if the person with "GIGS" doesnt flirt or **** anyone else and actually does use the time to focus on something productive such a career or education not partying

 

So let me get this straight...

 

If someone decides to break up with you, it is ALWAYS a bad / wrong choice.

 

Now should the dumper come to your same conclusion on their own, they should not be permitted or allowed the opportunity correct the error because they shouldn't have made the bad / wrong choice to begin with? Do I get this right? Never mind the fact that they are now in complete 100% agreement with you?

 

If I follow your logic... Then I have my work cut out for me tomorrow.

 

I have to end 6 marriages and at least 7 long term relationships that I can think of right off the top of my head. All of these had break ups that lasted for more than a month or more in which they dated other people too. My parents 30+ years and the another one that have been married for 52 years.

 

What on earth were they ever thinking?!!?!?! Clearly they couldn't possibly love one another. I will get right on that and report back to you at once.

 

Just so you know... Most of us are not like you. So please tell us what life is like when you never make a mistake, bad choice or decision... We just got to know!

 

If my sister (who is married 10+ years to a guy where a year long break up occurred while dating) was single, I would so want her to date you! She would totally love the fact that you REALLY are PERFECT and would NEVER hurt her, EVER.

Edited November 6, 2010 by homebrew

[nittanylion]

If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not love.

 

You don't OWN the person you are dating! Since when do you get to decide whether or not the reason they want / need to break up is acceptable or not?

 

 

I disagree with your theory. You are being to dam nice to your x-gf. Look it where it gets you? Nothing! She is probably have a good time banging someone else rite now. BTW, just in case her relationship fail, you might a chance with her but as a back-up plan. Is that what you want? Stopppppppppppp being a wusssy. Stop the bs sentimental value for the dumper. She/he dont deserve jack sh it. I am so sick and tired someone like you who comes on this board giving your advice about being nice to the ex. I said they dont deserve your kindness after they fk ur mind, took your heart, and shred every dynity in you.

[Hhhh]

If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not love.

 

You don't OWN the person you are dating! Since when do you get to decide whether or not the reason they want / need to break up is acceptable or not?

 

i have come realize i don't believe in second chances in relationships, if the other person has been with someone else, reason being because when any individual bails on a relationship they have given on their partner and thrown in the towel to find that "greener grass"

 

BUT i do believe in space in a relationship because everyone needs space to focus on themselves may takes weeks or months, but keeping their partner in mind and not partying or ****ing someone else but to enhance themselves and develop independence

 

all relationship problems can be discussed if both individuals are at that maturity level, and maybe a few days of NC will do you both some good. Obviously if your ex is wanting to explore different people and avenues she doesn't love you enough to stay in the relationship

 

Breaking up with someone to **** other is just a slippery way of cheating. Agreed?