"The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome

[wilsonx]

The friends thing wont work. Trust me on this and trust everyone else on this. This is a time when both of you need to go your own separate ways and do your own thing. I know you care for your ex and want to help them out but you have to start putting you first!

 

Start making yourself a better person!

[Dig0923]

The friends thing wont work. Trust me on this and trust everyone else on this. This is a time when both of you need to go your own separate ways and do your own thing. I know you care for your ex and want to help them out but you have to start putting you first!

 

Start making yourself a better person!

 

 

Very true I suppose, I have been making myself a better person and much better off than I was by reading posts from yourself and others on here, alot stronger and will continue to get better .

 

Ya you're right I figured that was the case about trying to help out.

[wilsonx]

So hanging out with one of my good female friends tonight... shes dating the same guy for the past 12 years... since she was 16.

 

She told me as we were going to the beach, she has this drive in her to go out and party and make out with a lot of guys. She doesnt want to whore herself out but she has this itch.

 

I so thought of this thread. /sigh

[Jonnyy]

There has been a lot of movement from my Ex who has / had it (she was 22).

 

The latest

 

1. She got fired from a job she loved. (One of her "friends" got her fired)

2. She found out her goodtime "friends" are not her friends when she needed them most.

3. She is burned out on the partying scene.

4. She has been miserable and treated like crap from the guys she has dated.

5. She hit rock bottom and learned / grew up a lot (Hit bottom in July).

6. Her and her real friends (who loved us together) said she was idiot to leave me.

7. She has called, texted and emailed asking if I would talk.

8. I blew her off in a nice way.

9. She persisted... We finally talk (Which is how I know all the stuff above).

10. She went on for hours about how awesome I was and nobody compares.

11. Asked for me back.

12. I said no (I know that she isn't ready yet).

 

We are 20 months post break up. The final phase (there are 5 or so phases) will take 6 months or so.

 

I suggest you people read through all my threads and follow my advice... I want you all to have my kind of success.

 

You mention that there are about 5 phases. What are these phases your talking about and what do they mean/ what are they for?

[TheGrimSweeper]

I will add my vouch to not getting back with someone until they are ready.

 

I've now been burned 3 times by the same girl with gigs.

 

first time was after dating for 1 year and 4 months, broke up for 2 months then she wanted me back saying she had figured everything out. lasted another 6 months, broke up again, this time we were apart for 4 months. came back again saying I was the one and she had figured everything out, and now as I write this she has broken up with me again for practically the exact same reasons. She loves me but she can't do this right now. Shes 21 years old now.

 

Homebrew i'm also very curious to the phases.

[EgoJoe]

That was a great post, Homebrew and I commend your personal admonition of miscommunication. Although I don't think it was a bad idea to post about your Ex because I think with your follow up it paints a vivid portrait of the process.

 

It is why I have been recommending the GIGS thread alongside having people read about Egocentrism.

Edited September 21, 2011 by EgoJoe

[lymtal1]

hb,

 

reading a couple of your posts am wondering if i got it right with your ex being about 23 now and you at 39. is that correct? if the case i am 40 and ex of 4 months is 23. it has been hard as most here do not have such a large difference in ages and hence situational experiences vary.

 

just wondering if correct as i really relate to the age thing if i have not misinterpreted. and there is no question that i am "victm" of gigs. it was tough at first but like you knew that it was right for her to go do her thing. still is tough though but trying hard.

 

thanks for all your input and thoughts on this board.

[wilsonx]

Whatever... I'm really just a certified stud!

 

Certified Stud's keep their bitches in check

 

=)

[Eddie Edirol]

Hahahahaha!

 

However, when they need to spread their wings and fly... Best to agree and set them free.

 

She is amazing and her G.I.G.S. experience has made her even better...

 

Certified Studs, can let them go and have them begging for you back. If I want her, the choice is mine!

 

I rarely see any instances here on LS where the dumper goes back. Is it really G.I.G.S. if they dont? If they were right about the grass being greener? I would think GIGS only applies if they go crawling back. If they never do, its not "I thought the grass was greener and I was wrong", then a new acronym needs to be made. How bout G.R.I.N.S.=Good Riddance Is Now Syndrome.

Edited September 21, 2011 by Eddie Edirol

[EgoJoe]

I like your last post as well, Homebrew.

 

It's hard to get over the resentment at first. It gets easier when you recognize the egotistical defense mechanisms they are employing out of a place of hurt and confusion. It hurts those of us with great memories quite a bit more yet the desire to move past it with compassion and grace provides comfort (after working out and venting, haha!).

[sun_moon]

 

I went up and introduced myself to my Ex in the lobby of the office tower where I work so I didn't think she was that young and she didn't know I was that old. We didn't even ask each other our ages until the third date or so. By then, we already had a trip planned to Vegas and neither of us cared. True Story!

 

Whatever... I'm really just a certified stud!

 

 

lol Oh that made my night.

 

I have the sudden urge to frequent as many office tower lobbies as I possibly can!!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

 

I loved your last few posts, thank your for making YOUR thread return to a positive uplifting hopeful note.

[katie.x]

Darn... If I had to do it all over again, I probably would not have posted an update on my Ex. There are several people I talk with and help via PM who knew but have withheld it to the general public on purpose.

 

Why?

 

It's not that I don't want to help... What I realized a long time ago within many of my threads is...

 

I am a lot older (39) than most people that are victim of G.I.G.S. I have had G.I.G.S. and been dumped because of it several times. I simply have more life experience and I am mentally and emotionally more mature than most of the G.I.G.S. victims. Therefore, I have the ability to deal with, understand and know what to do and what not to do without screwing it up or causing myself harm.

 

I have been ripped to shreds by many of the older LS posters because they knew something that I didn't... For a majority of the readers, I gave false hope, prevented them from healing, they became obsessed with G.I.G.S. and the psychology behind it. In short, the dumpees were wasting their time focusing on G.I.G.S. itself, holding out hope and not focusing on and healing themselves.

 

So do not waste a lot of time on trying to become a G.I.G.S. expert or trying to "fix" your Ex. It's over, so heal and move on!

 

Regardless... On we Go!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

First mistake most dumpees make when being dumped by G.I.G.S. is they do not believe / think / feel that G.I.G.S. is a good, natural and normal thing that some people go through. They take the break up far more personal than they should (it really wasn't because of you) and usually end up taking their hate out on their Ex, forever ruining a second chance.

 

The dumpee also thinks if they did this or did that... They would still be together. This could not be further from the truth. If you were dumped due to G.I.G.S., there was NOTHING you could have done to prevent it! It was going to happen sooner or later. If you stick around here long enough, you will see or read several threads for people that have G.I.G.S. who want / have / thinking about dumping their BF / GF. You will see, there is NO STOPING IT!

 

If you were dumped due to G.I.G.S.... I also suggest you read the following thread:

 

Click Here

 

You will see what a person goes through / thinks / feels / believes who has G.I.G.S. This person is married and there is no doubt in my mind, that due to her age, this marriage will end in divorce. This is the bullet that we have all dodged.

 

Having said all of that...

 

If you were dumped due to G.I.G.S.... Your Ex, if they come back, isn't coming back for YEARS! Yes, I said YEARS!!!!! All they will do is drop a ton of breadcrumbs, want a security blanket from time to time and confused the hell out of you.

 

As a dumpee, accept the break up, agree with their decision and move on with your life and heal. Until you fully heal, NO CONTACT!!!!! If you are not healed and have contact, you are going to screw up your healing and screw up any possible second chance. It's only once you have healed that you can go to NIC (which is where I have been for almost two years) with your Ex.

 

Since G.I.G.S. takes YEARS and looking at it from a big picture point of view... These all are kind of the same and your Ex will not miss a phase, if they do... they aren't ready.

 

Phase 1 - The 180 and experiencing the world

They have / make new "friends" and go out and experience the world. This could be going out, new hobbies, drugs, drinking, partying, changing their appearance, try new things and even do things they hated or swore they would never do while dating you. etc.

 

Phase 2 - Soting their oats

Your Ex is going to date around and enter into several short / long term relationships.

 

Phase 3 - Pain is life's greatest teacher!

 

This is when your Ex starts to experience the consequences of their actions, behavior, decisions, etc. This can all hit at once (hitting bottom) or take several years for it to have it's much needed effect on your Ex. Your Ex is one that has to learn the hard way!

 

Examples:

 

Losing jobs, getting their heartbroken by their bad choices in people they date, screwed over by their good time "friends", arrested, major drama, etc.

 

In my Ex's case, it all hit at once. I have had others that it took several big things through a period of time to hit before they suffered for it.

 

Several notes here:

 

Note 1: Some Ex's suffer consequences that are beyond repair. Some get knocked up by losers, alcoholism, drug addictions, ruin their careers, drop out of school, get arrested, get so screwed up by the losers they date they never heal, etc.

 

Note 2: You usually start to hear from the Ex around this time. NOTE: They are not wanting you back!

 

Note 3: Your Ex will more than likely repeat or continue to make the same mistakes again and again before moving onto Phase 4.

 

Note 4: This is hard... even my Ex fooled me by coming back near the end of this phase. I took her back for a week earlier this year (well over a year after our break up) and quickly saw that she hadn't figured it all out yet and moved on to the next phase. I broke up with her and said I wan't know part of the "friends" and lifestyle she was living. She even tried to convince me to come live it with her so we could be together... Don't fall for it. Do what I did if you hear from them. They will respect you for it.

 

Phase 4 - Coming "Home"

 

This is where your Ex finally starts to make changes and choose to grow up. Due to age, their friends and mostly because of what they learned due to Phase 3 above.

 

They drop their good time "friends", get burned out of partying, sick of the drama, want someone "more", etc.

 

This is when your Ex does another 180 but this time, they become the person you use to know.

 

This phase does not happen overnight and it is a process!

 

This is also when you a lot of you will hear from your Ex. No, they do not want you back although some will say they do (like my Ex). They know, that you know that they were idiots and for some reason, they feel the need to let you know that they are "normal" and good again. This is also when your Ex starts to realize that you are special and rare. That people like you do not grow on trees.

 

This is where most dumpees make the mistake of trying to get their Ex back! The dumpee thinks all the obstacles, hurdles and growing up that needed to happen, has occurred. That's wrong!

 

Why?

 

Your Ex just got to a point to where they feel "normal". So in a way, they are right back where they started when this whole G.I.G.S. thing kicked in.

 

All Phase 1, 2 and 3 are is them losing their minds and doing and experiencing as much as they can. In most cases, all the wrong ways.

 

What your Ex is thinking now is... I brought all the crap upon myself because I was being stupid and not thinking. Now that I am normal, I have the knowledge and ability to find a person like you.

 

If you make the mistake of taking them back now... You are setting yourself up to be dumped again. After a while, your Ex is going to think / feel / believe that they made a hasty decision in coming back to you. They will think, I really don't know now that I am "normal" if this is who / what I want. Also, there is a little bit of doubt about you too since you were so quick to take them back after all that they have done.

 

This is the reason why I said no to my Ex that wants me back. I need her to go date some more now that she is "normal". My Ex is half-hearted and still has G.I.G.S. (although she does not know it) and is trying to get things to return to normal when she was happy. Phase 1, 2 and 3 are fun for a time but becomes complete and total misery after a while. Why do you think a lot of them go nuts with the drinking, drugs and partying... To be numb!

 

I also am showing her, that she "lost" me and prove that I am not a chump. That there are consequences to her decisions and she needs to feel them now that she is "normal". Her fear (which she stated over and over to me), is that she will never find a guy like me. The fact that she says that, tells me everything I needed to know. Although persistent, I know that she is not really ready.

 

Phase 5 - Crawling on Broken Glass On Their Knees

 

Once they are "normal"... They still think they have a chance and what it takes to find what they once had. Well let me tell you, in my case, that just isn't going to happen. For some of you, that will also be the case.

 

After they get out there and experience what "normal" is enough times... This is when the reality of the situation finally hits them. This is when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have indeed made a very big mistake.

 

This is when your Ex will do whatever it takes to WIN your love back. They will make their intentions known and there will be no mistake as to what they are doing. No mixed messages, no wondering, no doubts, etc.

 

They will crawl on broken glass on their knees to get you back!

_______________________________________________________________________

 

This is just a quick break down of how it works. I could break it down into more phases... but I think this gives you a broad overview.

 

NOTE: Do not think for a second that you Ex is going to get to phase 5 in a week, month or even a year. It will be YEARS before they get there! In fact, some will never make it there!

 

Having said all of this... My advice to all of you is this:

 

1. Accept / Agree to the break up.

2. Go No Contact until you are fully healed. Ignore everything until then! Otherwise, you will have a set back and screw up any possible second chance forever.

3. Assume the worst.

4. Choose to heal.

5. Move on.

6. NIC (if you choose, many will not) once you are over it, happy and dating again. This will be a year or so for most of you.

 

I have been healed for quite sometime since my break up... So when my Ex was contacting me the last couple of years... It didn't effect me, cause me to have a set back and I really didn't care. I had healed and moved on and wanted no part of her.

 

Many of you will find someone who blows your Ex out of the water. Some of you will have Ex's that alter their lives forever (Phase 2 above) that "ruin" them in your eyes so you will not want them back either and end up finding someone "better". A very rare few of you, YEARS from now will get a call or message from an Ex you have long since forgotten or cared about and fall in love all over again.

 

I wish all of you the best!

 

 

Now with the phases, I find it hard to believe that everyone follows the same thinking over the same period of time. Couldn't an ex realize very quickly what they gave up and know they want it long term and fight for it instantly?

[lymtal1]

hb,

 

our stories are very similar from one stud to another. i walked up to her having no idea she was 20. thought she was 26-27. looked it, acted it. we too never had a clue of our ages for some time. they never mattered.

 

she too hit me with you have had the "opportunities" and as much as i love you i don't want to hate you in a couple of years. it hurt bad but i knew she was right. i had a feeling it would come at some point. we did talk long term and etc.

 

so i am now four months into it and working on three months n/c. it has not been easy. i have had good days and then bad. each day seems to get a bit better but there are times when i think what if. i know i wouldn't be able to take her back now or ever. taken me some time to realize but i know that is the right thing for me now. will always think what if but know sometime i will be able to move on. not ready yet.

 

in that regard, where are you with "experiences" of the opposite sex at this point. i have had opportunities but can't go there yet. too much comparison at this point. way past the casual thing. thoughts from your experience?

 

look forward to any and all input you have as we are running parallel but you are ahead and i have never been one to be afraid to copy what works. i'll give humble credit:)

[fetish1980]

Brew,

 

I know we've chatted, and your last post of being a stud had me lol. I see you as someone who has no problem with the ladies, even if one leaves, you go out and get another.

 

I think it's about having boundaries and knowing what you want, what you will and won't put up with. G.I.G.S. definitely has no promise or a happy ending. So it's good you posted that last message to let some dumpees know that there's a chance they WON"T come back. But if you're good to them and make them feel special, they usually do.

 

Great post. It's always a treat to read you're post. Definitely a top poster here on the forum.

 

fetish

[Lucio]

Omg I'm a dumpee of this syndrome. Thank you for at least giving it a name. Both of us, as well as everyone around us, doesn't know why and how we broke up. What should I do now? Tell her "you've got the green grass syndrome"?

[Lucio]

Thanks homebrew for talking to me.

I know I should do the NC, but it's just so hard to take this. We were still ok one day, and the next day she offered to pop by my office (which is v rare) and dumped this thing on me. We didn't fight, no nothing. In fact we were still planning on a trip! Now everyday I wake up in confusion.

 

I've previously done the NC on another ex, and it ended up v badly. I think to this day she prob think I'm over-reacting by insisting on it. But I know as well that I can only do an NC. If she has the GIGS, having me text her will prob just suffocate her and make her irritated. What she wants now is anything that won't remind her of me and make her feel guilty. I'm not choosing the best way, I can only choose the least damaging way... God I feel so broken.

 

You think it'd be a good idea if I show her I'm trying to think in her shoes? I know she doesn't know why either n is prob bashing herself up over this ending as well. I'm after all 6 years older. Should I give her support instead of letting her be confused on her own? Or should I just leave her entirely alone?

[DenumChkn]

I am just curious homebrew, how you would explain something like GIGS to my grandparents. They are 88 and 82 on one side, (Still living very full lives and happy as can be) and met when they were 20 and 26 after WW2 (my grandpa being the elder). Is this 'GIGS' thing a product of our generation/time? I know that all 60+ years of their marriage haven't been peaches and cream, and they have even told me that there were times they, and their children, wondered if they would make it.

 

That being said, what is it about them and their generation that made them strong enough to cope and fight for each others love at such a young age? My grandparents on the other side are very similar and in a 60+ year marriage. I feel like when I read about GIGS on this forum, it is predominately younger girls breaking it off with older guys (I was recently dumped by a 20 year old and am 26). Has all this post-modern feminism, Beyonce "independent ladies", media encouraged promuscuity, lead to a generation of women who are constantly looking for the next best thing? I'm not trying to be sexist, I know guys do this too, I have just seen far fewer examples of it (likely because older women are rarely attracted to younger guys, at least in a relationship capacity).

 

Everyone seems so afraid of settling, but I tell you when I sit and talk to my Grandma and Grandpa who easily could have parted ways on several occasions, I see nothing but pure love and happiness, and so much of that I believe is a result of the fact that they DID NOT give up so easily on each other. Are the last couple generations of 'kids' just weak? Have we as a society lost the ability to fight for our love, and now expect it to just happen like a lightswitch, microwave or iphone app? With all the conveniences around us, do we now believe our relationships should be the same way?

 

I can't help but think this whole GIGS thing is a product of an ailing society that has lost its moral compass.. I'd be curious what others' opinions are. This thread is great by the way, I've had several epiphanies while reading it and appreciate all who have contributed. I will end my pessimistic rant about how ****ty our generation is now

[Mack05]

I can't help but think this whole GIGS thing is a product of an ailing society that has lost its moral compass..

 

DenumChkn, hopefully Homebrew doesn't mind me crashing his thread. I have said in previous threads that I personally do not believe in GIGS. However, Homebrew makes a good point, that has made me rethink. "I wouldn't get hung up on the term G.I.G.S. like some do... It's just is a "term" for describing the "phase" that a lot of us go through around your Ex's age"

 

Getting back to your post above. I agree with what you have said above actually, but I would not say it's the only reason for young people suffering GIGS. I posted this in another thread, but I feel it is very relevant to this thread. The success rates of couples meeting at a young age in todays world are small. You look back to a generation ago. My Parents met young and married young and have been married ever since. 37 years to be exact. It has been a very good marriage, but by god did they have to keep working at it (two very different people). I remember being a little younger then you. I was in college and a girl I was totally crazy about dumped me. I thought my world had ended. In my head at the time, I was thinking that was the age my parents got together. She was the one for me, so when she left me, I was beyond heartbroken. All my dreams shattered into a million pieces..

 

I spoke to my mother about it at the time, explaining my heartbreak, that she was 'the one' and that we met at the same age as you and dad. My mother said "you know why your father and I work so hard to put you through college? So that you don't live the life we had to. She said I love your father and always will. But it has been a struggle nearly all our lives. Both of us with no education. Both of us with little real life experience. Fighting against the odds. Some good years, some bad years. I don't want that life for you son. I want you to get educated. I want you to travel. I want you to have fun, before life gets in the way".

 

I just can't criticise young people leaving relationships (as long as they do it respectfully and with a bit of class). It's about living life. Having life experiences that you can look back on when you are old and grey. The young LS posters (early 20's) have no idea how tough life gets in the next 20 years after college/high school. When you are in a relationship in your late teens/early 20's the world seems like all sunshine and rainbows. Relationships (especially at the start) seem sooo easy. Dreams shared, fun had, voyages of discovery together, little responsibilities, little life baggage, no wonder our first heart breaks are the worst. The reality is very different. Married at 24 with two kids and debt up to your eyeballs is a TOUGH life. People that marry early tend to have SERIOUS mis life crisis's in their late 30's and 40's because their youth has gone and they are full of regret..

 

The last thing young people want is to look back over their lives and wonder "gez where the hell did it go"? Young people now days want to have as much fun as possible. They want to put off responsibilites and the stress of life, for as long as possible. This (along with some building careers) is the reason people are getting married later and later in life. I personally think 30 is a great age to get married. You both should have the right amount of life experience and emotional maturity (this is crucial right here) to be ready to settle down.

 

NOTHING worse then a broken heart. It sucks and my words or anyone else's words can't take away your pain. Sadly it seems something we all have to go through in life (more then one heartbreak too!). It doesn't feel like it now, but your ex has probably done you a favour. I have posted this a few times. Sadly the advice is the same and the heartbreak is the same..

 

"Sadly, there is nothing you can do, but respect her wishes. She is very young and is entitled to live her life the way she see's fit. All you can do is respect her choice and move on. I know that is so hard, but that is what you have to do. Hassling her, begging, pleading and looking for answers will just driver her further away. I personally feel she is way too emotionally immature to be in a relationship right now. Therefore she will not be able to make you happy long term. Looking at it logically mate, most of us (I would confidentally say 9 in 10) meet people at a young age, they are our first loves but it rarely works out. Just chalk it down to experience and move on with your life. The crucial thing is (no matter how bad it gets) is NOT to break NC. I have been through a few of these in my time. The same rules apply to us all.."

 

P.S-> The name of that girl I was crazy about and saw my future with at 20? I forget.....I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe two well suited people can meet and be very happy together. A big problem in life is timing. You have to accept that they are too young and the timing is not right. I know how hard it must be for people on this forum to hear that..The sad truth is, this is probably not the only heartbreak you will have to go through..

Edited September 22, 2011 by Mack05

[DenumChkn]

Point well taken Mack. I was not making that post so much to bash my ex and others', but rather to gain some historical/philosophical perspective on this whole thread. I think it can go both ways, some people are more volatile than others and make rash/stupid decisions for the wrong reasons, while others are well thought out and well within their right.

 

With a month+ of NC from my ex I actually really respect the way she went about it all (to my face, sincere, no cheating or new guys lined up) and agree with you that she probably did me a favor. I know I am not 100% over her, but I am much further along than I was even 5 days ago. I honestly credit this forum and my friends and family with my ability to have made so much progress.

 

I went on a casual coffee date tonight with a girl from my work (another 19 year old oh god what am i doing!) and was open with her about where I am at right now. Just being able to communicate with her so openly has made me reflect a lot on some of the things that were wrong the relationship with the girl I loved. I told her I think she is a great girl and I'd love to go on more dates, but we both agreed that I probably wasn't completely over my ex and that we should take it very slow so that no one ELSE gets hurt. If my ex were to call tomorrow and admit she screwed up and beg to have me back I think there is a good chance I would agree. I know its totally contrary to all the advice in this thread, but I almost feel like I need to stick my hand in the oven just to make sure it's as hot as you all tell me it is. I think this scenario is very unlikely but until I can fully detach myself from it I don't want to string the new girl along, as she deserves better.

[PositiveNegative]

Mack,

 

Amazing amazing post. It truly resonated with me. Thank you.

[wilsonx]

I do mean it..I have learned a TON on here BUT maybe I am old fashioned and believe in FIGHTING the good fight.I am a guy that just cant give up on something my heart tell me NOT to..If I TRULY believed I need to walk away from her then I would have already.I have been in several relationships and a marriage and my HEART knew when it was time to leave...so I left.

But for some NAGGING reason I cant watch her walk away without proving how much I REALLY and TRULY do love her and need her...( JUST maybe she needs to see that..I dont have all of the answers..) Its just too DAMN easy to walk away now adays and I cant just flip a switch and turn off my heart and what I feel.We are all different and I know I will catch some hell for chasing after her but sometimes you just have to do what your heart feels.

I saw the look on her face when she was trying to tell me..( I AM the HAPPIEST I have ever been)....BUT couldn't look me in the eye and say it.I know this girl....I know how stubborn she can be...and maybe I am stupid for trying but you never know what you can do until you DO try.I am in limited NC right now,giving her the space she said she needed but I am also NOT giving up.All of my life I never once stood up for myself...I always RAN..

Maybe I one of the DUMBAZZEZ who just cant take a no for answer but when I see her...shes not happy...She is trying to convince HERSELF by the way she says things.The new BF has NO job...NO car..nothing...I cant see her being THAT happy....maybe this is the BIGGEST case of denial on record..I dont know..But I am making a video ..( Air Supply's "All Out of Love.." with the still pictures I have of us and post it shortly..( I am trying to get the bands permission to use it..)The only way I will walk away and I told her this..."Tell me to F*CK Off and leave you alone for the rest of your life..!" and look me in the eyes when you say it..dont look away..

Sorry guys..got carried away....maybe I need to be carried away...

 

You need something. You have no self respect. Your ex left you for a new bf that has NO job No car... nothing.

 

What more do you need. Stop playing nice guy. Have you heard the expression nice guys finish last? This is case in point right here. You are still trying to be nice. Stand up for your self. Its not about her happiness anymore. She made her own bed, let her sleep in it. You focus on you.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy. There is SOMETHING WRONG for not standing up for yourself and putting you first. Its called Codependence. Fix this and you fix a LOT of problems in your life

[coltsfan1]

ou need something. You have no self respect. Your ex left you for a new bf that has NO job No car... nothing.

 

What more do you need. Stop playing nice guy. Have you heard the expression nice guys finish last? This is case in point right here. You are still trying to be nice. Stand up for your self. Its not about her happiness anymore. She made her own bed, let her sleep in it. You focus on you.

 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a nice guy. There is SOMETHING WRONG for not standing up for yourself and putting you first. Its called Codependence. Fix this and you fix a LOT of problems in your life

 

True word here!!

[EgoJoe]

I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.

 

Maybe Coupedriver does too.

 

 

Translation : "I was want to hold someone down and beat them until they're not okay."

[sun_moon]

I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.

 

Maybe Coupedriver does too.

 

LOL

 

I dont even know how to respond to this and honestly not quite sure of your tone or direction, but still laughing.

[EgoJoe]

I made a typo in my joke /Wrist. "I JUST want to hold someone down and beat them until they're not okay!"