Nightsky Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 GIGS Syndrome is a simple word that describes to many things there for is useless. You can call to many things GIGS. It's like the hunt for criminals the US is engaged in around the world. Link to post Share on other sites
rawr2 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Personally, I don't think so. It is actually very particular. Its a life stage where someone is lost, they have to make a commitment/ life choice which is weighing on their conscience. They feel trapped and take it out on the one thing they can control or change - the relationship. Im at that stage, and so are a lot of my friends, we have just finished varsity and now need to get jobs or move and it's an extremely trying time. For some, they need to radically change, they once again feel trapped so get out of relationships and explore. It's not a normal break up, its very particular!' Link to post Share on other sites
rawr2 Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 It's not about the relationship, its about them. Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 GIGS Syndrome is a simple word that describes to many things there for is useless. You can call to many things GIGS. It's like the hunt for criminals the US is engaged in around the world. You bash GIGS and the USA... Classic! Doesn't your college professor and friends at Starbucks also b1tch about... Religion, Capitalism, Environmental issues, etc.? They would be disappointed that you left those out of your little political rant. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Out of interest, what's your relationship status? I ask that of any GIGS exponent. Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 Out of interest, what's your relationship status? I ask that of any GIGS exponent. Single but dating... Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 You bash GIGS and the USA... Classic! Doesn't your college professor and friends at Starbucks also b1tch about... Religion, Capitalism, Environmental issues, etc.? They would be disappointed that you left those out of your little political rant. The way you wrote this is hilarious. When you wrote "You bash GIGS and the USA" I was like you were combining the two. Like two question GIGS is to qustion country. I know you're talking about my political threads. I'm for small government but I love the USA. That makes me a patriot. I don't bitch about religion other then the sheeple mentality. Big centralized government is the greated danger. I love capitalism and feel the banks have taken over and capitalism is dead thanks to government welfares/warfare state that lets banks control everything. The environment is great and the only true economy in this world but carbon credits and global warming is big bull crap. Stop making a welfare/warfare economy and we all read help save the environment more then anything. Centralization of government helps keep centralization of power in the oil companies etc destroying this world. GIGS is to simple and encompasses to many things. It's like diagnosing a kid with hyperactivity. Say I'm with a woman and we've stopped having sex and its been months, years what ever. If I leave her because I want to have sex again is that then GIGS... if so you just piled it on with the million other things that are being called GIGS like flat out cheating. Out of interest, what's your relationship status? I ask that of any GIGS exponent. I'm in a limbo of sorts. Single never married late 20's. Link to post Share on other sites
RobotNano Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 (edited) So, what do you call it when your ex uses you in to getting their long time (ex husband) ex partner back, but doesn't work, so they break up with you? What is it in for me? Nothings changed, just a broken heart, waste of time. "A reason for everything" She lost him 6 years ago. He cheated on her, now he has 2 kids with other woman. She refuses to allow divorce, on her part. Edited March 20, 2012 by RobotNano Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 So, what do you call it when your ex uses you in to getting their long time (ex husband) ex partner back, but doesn't work, so they break up with you? What is it in for me? Nothings changed, just a broken heart, waste of time. "A reason for everything" She lost him 6 years ago. He cheated on her, now he has 2 kids with other woman. She refuses to allow divorce, on her part. To quote the OP Homebrew word for word and show that GIGS can apply to any one looking to apply it here you go. It seemingly comes out of nowhere, seems to have no rhyme or reason behind it, and it can strike even the best of couples. In your 'run of the mill' break up, there's usually an identifiable reason or set of reasons that led to the split, such as personality conflicts, fighting, different life goals, etc. These breakups are also difficult, but I've always found them a bit easier to cope with because you can identify a cause to the effect. Not so with the grass is greener syndrome. It's like going through a root canal even though your teeth are perfectly healthy. So, you see it was GIGS... Link to post Share on other sites
RobotNano Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 So who has the gigs? Me her her? Why is it right for anyone to go out and use (I love, you, full of emotions) people, break their hearts, and were to move on? Can it be a syndrome? Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 So who has the gigs? Me her her? Why is it right for anyone to go out and use (I love, you, full of emotions) people, break their hearts, and were to move on? Can it be a syndrome? GIGS doesn't exist in the way its described her. It's pointless to have a break up and be like "GIGS!" Now minust the syndrome part of it keeping in mind the saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" helps maintain perspective. It's just a tool to catch yourself being silly about things like if you're phantasizing how great it must be to have some one elses life or a differnt gf or what ever. You have to make sure you're being realistic. Might as well call it "unreaslistic syndrome" and make it encompass everything. I once saw a thread here saying "she left me for a lesser guy" when in fact there was nothing pointing to the guy being lesser. I said I liked the OP's mentality saying that though and that I think of all guys as lesser. Thats what GIGS is. Its just a silly thing though. I think in terms of this thread its thought ending not provoking because I hardly consider it the deciding factor. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 It is a syndrome, you wake up one day and say to yourself, I am an idiot, can't believe that happened. The syndrome of a chain of stupid life decisions Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 wilsonx, you were friends with your ex for quite a while before you started dating. Do you miss your friend? Link to post Share on other sites
OffandOnStillinLove Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Hey Homebrew- this is super sutff- your grass is greener article- where are you now? I clicked on your name to see other posts nad it said "never" but that's impossible b/c it also said 800+ posts .... blank sorta...but Im new and I dont "get" this site's set up yet ok, well thanks for the grass is greener post, just what i needed to hear! Link to post Share on other sites
OffandOnStillinLove Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 It is a syndrome, you wake up one day and say to yourself, I am an idiot, can't believe that happened. The syndrome of a chain of stupid life decisions i didnt read the whole thread, but "ditto" on your last post here that i quoted the only good thing, I beleive, is that God can restore the wasted years and bring us to some joy, but yes there is still pain in life Only His love is getting me thru things.... Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 wilsonx, you were friends with your ex for quite a while before you started dating. Do you miss your friend? I miss her everyday! It sucks. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I miss her everyday! It sucks. Have you told her this? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Have you told her this? No, I can't right now! It has to do with trust, I told her if she was happy, then I was happy for her and I would leave her alone. The good part of this whole scenario is I know from her actions and being in her shoes that she misses me, she isnt consciously aware of it but it does gives me solace. I just have to continue and wait for nature to take its course. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 No, I can't right now! It has to do with trust, I told her if she was happy, then I was happy for her and I would leave her alone. The good part of this whole scenario is I know from her actions and being in her shoes that she misses me, she isnt consciously aware of it but it does gives me solace. I just have to continue and wait for nature to take its course. What are you scared will happen if you tell her your feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 With someone in GIGS, the "LAST THING" you want to do is put pressure on them. Thats why they rebound with CHUMPS that are needy and they can walk all over and will tolerate their extreme push/pull hot/cold and think its love. She knows my feelings, they were made clear as day to her in December. Its her job to figure out herself out and burn out on her own. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 You think saying "I miss my friend" to someone is putting pressure on them. I like the word "courage". It originates from the French for heart and originally meant to speak with an open heart. Wouldn't it be nice to live your life courageously? Mind you, that includes getting hurt, being vulnerable, and all manner of less positive feelings. Scary stuff perhaps. Brene Brown gives a good speech that touches on the subject. I wonder if she's waiting for nature to take its course with you before she can have her friend back instead of this angry man I read of on these fora. For some reason, I was thinking about cornflower this morning. Have you ever mixed some water with some cornflower to make a thick paste. Then, if you hit it sharply, it and cracks, like a solid. But if you push it gently, it yields, like a liquid. Isn't that curious? I sometimes feel like that paste. I sense you're like that too. Anyway, time for work. Hope you have a good day. Link to post Share on other sites
wibe Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I like this post - thumb up! Link to post Share on other sites
Leeds Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Hi First time posting so bear with me whilst I try to make this as brief as possible. I have been with my long term partner for 7 and a half years - we got together in difficult circumstances when she fell pregnant at just 17 when we were not officially a couple but we decided to stick it out and over the years we have grown into a couple that other couples looked up to - we had another child and moved into a new house 3 years ago. Things were going well, well got on, we loved and adored our kids, very rarely argued about anything serious (minor fall outs) - and last year my ex managed to get herself a FT job after I had supported her financially to stay at home for the first 5 or 6 years so she could be a stay at home mum. We had made long term plans about where we would like to live, things we would like to do together and with the kids, and talked openly about how happy we both were, both agreeing that we had turned a corner (financially) now she had this new job. Then suddenly in January from nowhere she announced that she didnt feel the same anymore, that she "loved me but wasnt in love with me", that there was nobody else involved and that there was just something inside that she couldnt explain that was making her unhappy. She left that night, leaving the kids with me whilst she went to her mums. I have done everything possible (probably all the wrong things) such as beg, plead, write her a letter, speak to her friends and family (all who think she is mental as we had everything!) - but this has been done partly because the kids have been so upset and that obviously hurts aswell. She has openly stated to me that she wont find anyone better, that we have a good life and that she wants for nothing / I treat her like a princess - but none of this or seeing the kids so upset has changed her mind (kids are now 7 & 4). Just over 2 months have gone by and I know deep down that I need to give her the space to find herself again - she has now found a place to rent so we share access to the kids 50/50, but I am so scared to let go of her because the family we now have was all I have ever dreamed of - it isnt just me and her, its the kids, the life we had planned for us all - everything is suddenly gone. A few other points - she is having trouble adjusting (has started smoking, has had time off work due to stress, visits to the doctors for the same) but has blamed me for putting pressure on her as the root cause of the above. I went NC for a week after about a month and she started playing games to get a reaction out of me, she found out last week that I am going out for a drink with a new girl (nothing serious on my part, just company more than anything) and has said it has hit her harder than she expected it would - couldnt concentrate at work and got sent home, in tears at my house saying she wasnt ready for either of us to move on. She has said she doesnt want me to bring women around the kids (which I agree with), that she doesnt want women in the house (that we jointly own), that the thought of me being with other women makes her feel "physically sick", and that she has no interest in seeing anyone else at the moment. I am so confused, on one hand she says things like I have outlined above, but at the same time she wont come back - she just wants to be on her own, have some independence, have no-one to answer to etc etc She says she cannot promise what the future holds, but she doesnt want me to wait for her because it isnt fair and she doesnt like to see me upset. Ordinarily I would move on because I have had LTR before and I know that in time I will get over her if I want to, I just feel like I shouldnt give up on us because it is about so much more than just me and her when there are 2 fantastic kids involved. :-( I know in myself deep down that in time she will look back and regret this decision, but I know that keeping her here when she doesnt want to be is only going to make things worse. Its just so sad. Looks like classic GIGS after reading this thread, but any thoughts would be welcome, and advice on how to proceed even more so!!?? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
AG0NIST Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 With someone in GIGS, the "LAST THING" you want to do is put pressure on them. Thats why they rebound with CHUMPS that are needy and they can walk all over and will tolerate their extreme push/pull hot/cold and think its love. She knows my feelings, they were made clear as day to her in December. Its her job to figure out herself out and burn out on her own. Hi Wilson, Not sure if you remember, but this is "The Hurt Process". I haven't been on for a while and totally forgot my login info, etc. But, I've decided to drop in and see how the rest of the gang is doing. When referring to your ex, is this the same girl you broke up with about a year or so ago? How you holding up otherwise? Anything new on your end? I haven't talked to my ex since the last fling we sort of had back in August sometime. She definitely had GIGS... However, being that I'm almost 30 and she just having turned 22, I went looking elsewhere for someone closer to my age and maturity level. I found an amazing girl back in October and I rarely think of the ex these days. I just want to say that regardless of how you feel now, there's something much better waiting for you down the road. I can guarantee it! Anyways, I'll be back around to check up when I can. Take care of yourself bro! Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 @Leeds Do what you feel is right for you. She can't tell you what you can or can't do with regards to other women or the house. She has no right. You can't tell her either what she can or can't do. If you want to date someone else and bring them home, that's your choice. She lost that privilege the second she left and wanted to be independent. Link to post Share on other sites
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