"The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome

[wilsonx]

Looks like it to me. Looks like you both are doing the best you can. Its ok to miss your ex, we all do

[Glove_slap]

this thread will never die.

[Darksideblugrss]

last Monday my day started with I love yous and cuddles and ended at night with "you know I just don't think we want the same things right now" caught me completely and utterly off-guard. the relationship was one of the only things in my life that I can say was working. I continued to fight for it saying that we would go to therapy and get help and we would be able to fix it because 3 years is a long time but she had checked out and I hadn't seen it. shes 22 I'm 24. the hardest part is just the fact that I had no warning, it was just as if in the morning we were fine and by the evening we were ending the longest relationship of my life. I'm trying my best to deal with the loss as healthy as possible. :/

[Svet74]

So what if me and my ex dated for only 5 months? But in that short amount of time we were already engaged and he just left me out of no where. But tried to keep contact with me. And if I ever told him I would disappear out of his life he would freak out. Is that the same thing? I finally moved on for 3 months now. And kept nc for 2 months. Some of his family is friends with me but we never talk about my ex and attend the same church. I don't really know what to make of this. His cousin also told me he asked about me and seems to miss me

[gibson]

So what if me and my ex dated for only 5 months? But in that short amount of time we were already engaged and he just left me out of no where. But tried to keep contact with me. And if I ever told him I would disappear out of his life he would freak out. Is that the same thing? I finally moved on for 3 months now. And kept nc for 2 months. Some of his family is friends with me but we never talk about my ex and attend the same church. I don't really know what to make of this. His cousin also told me he asked about me and seems to miss me

 

1. Too much, too fast, too soon.

2. Your Ex thinks infatuation is love.

 

After 5 months the infatuation wore off and reality set in. I do not know how old your Ex is... but he doesn't have a clue what love is or how to talk things slow.

 

The reason you were dumped?

 

So your Ex can go chase more rainbows and butterflies.

Edited May 6, 2012 by gibson

[Svet74]

Well since we broke up he hasn't gotten in any serious relationship but still maybe he thought he could find better. And he is 26. If he left me just like that I don't understand what the point of initiating contact is you know? Even after all that I still love him. But yeah I get your point

[MissBrunette84]

Starting to wonder if my ex had gigs.

[pathetic1999]

We were together 2.5 years. He is younger than me by almost 10 years but couldn't wait to get married to me talked about it all the time named our child, etc. so sweet crazy in love etc. Then one day about a month ago he woke up and said I don't think I can do this, for two weeks I can't get the thought out of my head that I can't take on this responsibility I am not sure I want to get married soon to have kids etc. I said no one said we had to do it right now! He started to freak out, he said we met too soon, etc. (he's almost 27). then he took it back 12 hours later, but for two weeks he acted weird until I brought it back up again and he said he wanted a two week break which I was unhappy about but gave. He kept texting me thru the whole break, we met with my therapist after a week and a a half and he said he needed more time yet the night before he was talking about us getting married still! So the next night I told him I was letting him off the hook breaking up with myself because it was what he wanted, since he told me he that he wasn't sure if he was with me because he was afraid to hurt me or because it was best for us.

 

I didn't hear from him, so 5 days later I emailed him and said I didn't feel resolved and did he feel he could decide if he had more time did I jump the gun, etc. He replied back he's in love with me so much and he is miserable without me, he has had such a hard time not contacting me and thinks of me every day but he has to get his head on straight he's so confused about his entire life and he thinks this is best for us. He doesn't think I should wait for him because it will be months before he has his life figured out and even then he doesn't see us at a point of ever getting back together, he told my therapist that he's 99% sure he is done but he told me he doesn't see us together so I wouldn't be hurt again if he comes out of this "finding himself" not wanting to be with me and he has no idea how long it will take, but he's deeply in love with me and miserable without me. ...He said it kills him to admit it but he's not ready or able to be what is required to make our relationship work (even though he did for 2.5 years).

 

I am so confused and shocked by this, He was confused at the beginning of the two weeks saying he just needed space to be himself and think (and wouldn't let me take any of my stuff from his house and kept saying we were NOT breaking up) and now he's 99% sure he's out but he's deeply in love with me?? He was crying on the phone with me and with the therapist in her office. He's not faking the emotion and he sounds very clear that he knows he's done. But how can he be when he's so in love and just scared or? We were the perfect couple this was so out of the blue.

 

Its been NC for 12 days and Broken up for 15 days now he hasn't even tried once to contact me. He said he would send my stuff but still hasn't, I can get a friend to go get it but why hasn't he sent it? I am spinning. I miss him so much, he was my best friend and I was his. He said he lost his independence and has to figure himself out and where his head is at.

 

I read about GIGS but as far as I know he isn't with anyone else and even said he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship at all.

Edited May 22, 2012 by pathetic1999

[rach24680]

quick catch up =) im 22 bf's 26

my bf was asking girls for their numbers and split with me saying he didnt love me after 2 years.

He crawled back and We got back together.

He then was kissing other girls not long after and we broke up.

He crawled back we got back together.

I heard stories when he went out that he was doing the same but he denied them so I checked his emails to find him subscribing to porn and dating sites (after 4 years).

We broke up - i asked him back and we got back together. -This was 3 months ago.

All the while - we have sex about once a month and only see each other at weekends while we both work and live separately.

I cant stop thinking about all of this and there's a couple of lovely guys i wish i could get to know better but feel like i'd be throwing away a 4 year relationship that we've worked hard on just to see what would happen with other guys.

Do I have gigs?

[Tree_Salmon]

quick catch up =) im 22 bf's 26

my bf was asking girls for their numbers and split with me saying he didnt love me after 2 years.

He crawled back and We got back together.

He then was kissing other girls not long after and we broke up.

He crawled back we got back together.

I heard stories when he went out that he was doing the same but he denied them so I checked his emails to find him subscribing to porn and dating sites (after 4 years).

We broke up - i asked him back and we got back together. -This was 3 months ago.

All the while - we have sex about once a month and only see each other at weekends while we both work and live separately.

I cant stop thinking about all of this and there's a couple of lovely guys i wish i could get to know better but feel like i'd be throwing away a 4 year relationship that we've worked hard on just to see what would happen with other guys.

Do I have gigs?

 

No, he's just a douchebag.

 

I had something that might be a slight case of "GIGS" 3 years into my relationship but it was because my ex didn't really have any life goals or ambitions. Regardless i stuck with her even though I had very attractive girls try to kiss/touch/sex me.

 

It comes down to the person. We cant just classify them with a "syndrome" because then we get used to letting them get away with something. It takes allot to kiss another girl when you "love" someone else. I could never do it. Sometimes people are just selfish losers. Accept it. Move on. It's harsh but its true.

 

I hope that answers your question.

[rach24680]

No, he's just a douchebag.

 

I had something that might be a slight case of "GIGS" 3 years into my relationship but it was because my ex didn't really have any life goals or ambitions. Regardless i stuck with her even though I had very attractive girls try to kiss/touch/sex me.

 

It comes down to the person. We cant just classify them with a "syndrome" because then we get used to letting them get away with something. It takes allot to kiss another girl when you "love" someone else. I could never do it. Sometimes people are just selfish losers. Accept it. Move on. It's harsh but its true.

 

I hope that answers your question.

 

Thanks, I know I'll struggle splitting, because we do love each other and it's a big chunk of time to put a stop to, but i can't imagine being with him forever or having a family with him, as nothing has ever progressed for us in 4 years.

[Tree_Salmon]

Thanks, I know I'll struggle splitting, because we do love each other and it's a big chunk of time to put a stop to, but i can't imagine being with him forever or having a family with him, as nothing has ever progressed for us in 4 years.

 

It's really sad but there's nothing you can do but try again with someone new. After you learn from your experiences that is.

[kindest]

This is the first time I heard about GIGS. I think this may have been what happened to my ex. If anyone can confirm and shed some light into my situation it would be greatly appreciated.

 

It was great while it lasted. The physical and emotional attraction was there and I heard all sorts of promises from him. He's 28 (turning 29 in a few weeks) and I'm 29. He's jumped from one relationship to another, the longest relationship he's been on just lasted for a year. We dated for about 6 months, started getting a little serious for the last two.

 

On the last few days of our relationship, he was suddenly turning cold and did not have much time for me anymore. I confronted him, and at first he said he was fine, but when I insisted something was wrong then he told me, 'I think we moved too fast. I realize I'm not recovered from my past relationships and I am not ready for a committed relationship right now'.

 

I fought for him, pleaded for us to work out whatever it was that's bothering him, but he won't budge. So with a broken heart, I let him go.

 

We went NC for two months. Then just last month he started contacting me again, and I, still in love with him, couldn't resist responding. It was mostly small talk, friendly, and if there was some slight flirting from him I pushed it aside. There were times he brought up our relationship like asking me 'Are you still angry with me?', and 'I didn't expect all of our friends already know we've broken up', and some others. There were other times it was like he was pushing me to date some guys we know are interested in me, but I tell him I'm not interested, and I know he knows that.

 

I just found out he's been looking to date around. No, he didn't tell me directly but for some reason, it seems like he's intentionally letting me know that he's dating around. I mean, I have some friends who have been looking to set me up on dates but I have been keeping it a secret because although he left me I still didn't want to hurt him on purpose (I know he'd feel jealous, it's the most normal human reaction). We're supposed to be just friends now so I'm supposed to be fine with his dating, but in all honesty, I'm not. I hide under 'friendship', never letting him know I'm feeling crushed about the whole thing. It was torture, so I just decided to go back to NC until I can honestly say I don't feel anything for him anymore. It's been 5 days since we last talked.

 

The way our relationship ended was a big blow to my self esteem, I didn't know what I did wrong, and I remember him telling me that I'm very understanding as a girlfriend. But I had to assume there was something wrong with me, otherwise, why would he reject me? All the confusion messed with my head and I think it's the reason why I'm hurting. I've been going through a lot of mixed emotions and I wish I didn't have to go through them but who can deny what their feeling?

 

For now, I just want to get over him as quickly as possible but I have to admit, my heart is still longing for him.

 

So was it GIGS? I realize he's older than the usual profile of those who experience GIGS, and also he's male. Also, we dated for just 6 months. Other than that, I think he fits the description to a T.

Edited May 26, 2012 by kindest

[confused2385]

"The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome

(AKA; itchy feet, quarter life crisis, early-twenty-itus)

 

I thought I would put together a thread here to provide some information on and a place to discuss this particular type of break up. I've had relationships end because of it along with a few of my friends. In addition, I've had friends be the ones stricken with this 'syndrome', so I've seen how it plays out from both sides. Hopefully, I can provide a little insight to help those of you going through this type of breakup. The more we understand something, the more comfortable with it we become and the less scary it seems.

 

In my opinion, outside of infidelity, this is one of the toughest types of breakups to go through. It seemingly comes out of nowhere, seems to have no rhyme or reason behind it, and it can strike even the best of couples. In your 'run of the mill' break up, there's usually an identifiable reason or set of reasons that led to the split, such as personality conflicts, fighting, different life goals, etc. These breakups are also difficult, but I've always found them a bit easier to cope with because you can identify a cause to the effect. Not so with the grass is greener syndrome. It's like going through a root canal even though your teeth are perfectly healthy.

 

This syndrome usually tends to fall on women within the age range of 20-25 (it happens to men, too, but seems to be less often). It usually happens in a long term relationship (maybe two or more years) when the couple is about to make a much larger commitment to each other, such as an engagement or marriage. It's as if the mixture between the person's young age and the thought of making such a huge commitment almost makes them want to go on the relationship equivalent of the Amish's Rumspringa.

 

Some of the classic symptoms of this are as follows:

 

• Reasons for the break up are contradicting or sound like the dumper is grasping at straws for reasons. As if they are trying to convince themselves of it, too.

 

• Not much warning that something is going on before the actual break.

 

• An extreme change in lifestyle, such as suddenly starting to drink a lot, party a lot and hang around people they normally wouldn't.

 

• Wishy-washiness on the part of the dumper. They love you, but aren't IN love with you. They say that this doesn't mean you two are over forever and maybe someday down the road you'll be together again. At the same time, they'll tell you to move on.

 

• Quickly entering new relationships with people they aren't very compatible with.

 

One of the biggest problems with these sorts of breakups is that the dumpee will be more likely to want to stick around in the dumpers life. Due to the dumper's extreme mixed signals and the fact that they'll try harder than usual to keep the dumpee around as a friend, the dumpee will make all sorts of excuses to stay around. They'll say things such as "She's just confused, so we're going to remain friends and see what happens". These sorts of breakups need to be treated like any other kind of breakup. Give the dumper as much space as possible and gracefully bow out of their life.

 

The thing to keep in mind is that in these sorts of breakups, the dumpers themselves don't have any sort of answers to give. They're usually just as confused about the situation as the dumpee. This often adds more pain to the dumpee because they're just looking for some sort of reason as to why they're being hurt so badly and get completely frustrated when the dumper can't give them one. They think the dumper may be acting cruel or like the dumper is hiding something from them. This is usually not the case. The dumper isn't giving any answers because they don't have them.

 

Now for the good news. If the dumpee does completely exit the dumpers life and resist the temptation to remain friends, the chance that the opportunity for reconciliation will arise is actually quite good. If the relationship was a good one, the dumper will find out eventually that the grass isn't greener, it's just different grass and may even be a little worse than the pastures they left. However, that doesn't mean that a reconciliation will happen. Due to the hurtfulness of this type of breakup, the dumpee will most often refuse the offer for reconciliation when it eventually comes up (which can be months or over a year down the line). Since the breakup happened out of nowhere and for no real good reason, it can be difficult for most people to get the trust back in the relationship. The fear that they'll suddenly be dumped out of nowhere will hinder the relationship from developing into anything. This is why I said the "opportunity" for reconciliation is a lot higher and not that actual reconciliations are common for these types of breakups.

 

So, my heart goes out to all of you enduring this particular type of breakup. Just remember, it's not your fault and it's not the dumper's fault, either. It's just due to human nature and unfortunate sets of circumstances. No amount of picking your ex's brain will result in any sort of meaningful answers to the questions that plague you. Just remember that this is a phase and it doesn't last forever. So, as long as your ex is in this phase, all you can do is go about living your own life and making yourself a better person.

 

If anyone has any questions, I'll be happy to give you my opinion on the matter.

 

Good luck, everyone.

 

If you get a chance if you could take a look at my thread and let me know if I might actually be in a case of gigs or if i'm now just searching for reasons. Thanks

[sakura23]

After coming across this thread, I think this is my problem. I love my boyfriend and never ever want to hurt him or break his heart like is ex did, but I feel like he is preventing me from doing the things I want in life. I am just worried that if I do decide to break it off with him, he will never want to talk to or see me again. I can't bear to have that happen so I find myself sticking with him, wondering what else I could be doing and if it'd make me happier than I am now.

[wilsonx]

I didnt want to post this in your thread but this is your behavior, thats why i said let him go, you both will find your paths in life.

[robkris8079]

After coming across this thread, I think this is my problem. I love my boyfriend and never ever want to hurt him or break his heart like is ex did, but I feel like he is preventing me from doing the things I want in life. I am just worried that if I do decide to break it off with him, he will never want to talk to or see me again. I can't bear to have that happen so I find myself sticking with him, wondering what else I could be doing and if it'd make me happier than I am now.

 

Grow some balls and leave him. He will be better off without you. You are very selfish here.

[SmplePleasures]

Hi there. I just discovered the LoveShack forums this morning and have been browsing literally for hours. Homebrew, your descriptions of G.I.G.S. are immensely helpful to me, and I just had to comment to say so. My boyfriend of over two years broke up with me a month ago when there were no problems whatsoever in the relationship (we only had a handful of small disagreements the whole time). He said he still loves me, it's nothing I did, but he "just needs to do his own thing for a while." I pleaded with him, saying that the joy we get from being single and unattached is temporary, and the thrill of the new and exciting is necessarily fleeting, and giving up something special that you've spent so much time building in order to chase something like that is foolish. But, as you can guess, it was to no avail. He just apologized, saying he's sorry he can't make me understand, and that it's nothing I did.

 

Naturally for me this month has been hell, because I could not find a cause for the ending of the relationship. I figured it was some kind of commitment "cold feet" thing and I know he wanted for nothing in the relationship, so I have tried not to blame myself. Many people have told me that this is a phase he's going through and there's nothing I can do, including a female friend of mine who had G.I.G.S herself once and still sees that breakup as the worst mistake of her life. Now, your descriptions of G.I.G.S. fit him to a T and it is extremely validating and healing in a way to know that this is indeed a very common experience. He is 24 years old. Before me, he was in one other serious relationship that lasted a bit less time than ours, but it was on-again-off-again the whole time. They broke up in the end basically because they weren't compatible. The problems that they had never surfaced in our relationship. However, that relationship combined with ours meant that for most of his college days he was either in a relationship, dealing with drama, or moving on from his old relationship the whole time. So I guess you can say he never got those "college days," so now he is going on his independence kick and thinking that the grass is greener.

 

I broke NC a few days ago by sending him a link on Facebook and saying I hoped he was well. Last night he called me up to "see how I was doing" and we talked for maybe three minutes about what was new but then I told him I couldn't handle small talk link this, and ended up sending a couple pissed off text messages that I immediately regretted, but he took them in stride and didn't lash back.

 

I hate this so much and I just want him to realize this was a mistake. I know it can't happen overnight, and I don't want to be heartbroken or bitter but I can't help but feeling both, nor can I help banking on him coming back... I just wish there was something I could do.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for your helpful threads about GIGS. I'll be checking out you "Want your ex back?" thread next.

 

P.s.- One thing I would correct is your statement that this occurs more often in women. I am inclined to think it's probably equal between the sexes- I think you SEE it more often in women because you are a man, so women have done it to you and you've probably seen other women do it to your male friends. I think that skews your perception. Men are, after all, the ones famous for being afraid of commitment, but I think that's an exaggeration too; LOTS of women get cold feet and want to sleep with lots of guys, etc. So basically I think our experiences affect our perceptions, but it's probably actually pretty much equal in both men and women.

[Pod81]

I, too, am grateful for finding out about this GIGS syndrome as I am recently a victim of this as well. A condensed version of my story....

 

I dated my ex for 14 months and everything was great up until the last few weeks. Up until then, we've never had any fights (just small bickering once in a long while). But anyway, I've noticed she was contacting me less (probably went from about once every other day to about twice a week) and she also forgot about one of our lunch dates. Plus, it started to bother me that I was doing almost all the visiting, nice little surprises, and most of the initiating.

 

I blew up at her for her new lack of appreciation and effort saying I didn't want to talk to her for a week and then, called her later that week and broke it off with her. During this call, she mentioned that "she doesn't know what she wants."

 

She emailed me shortly afterwards and she said that she found little annoyances about me such as my immature sense of humor (which I think is just an excuse for her GIGS). She also mentioned in the email that there was "something missing" from our relationship which she couldn't point her finger at.

 

I called her later that day and she said that she couldn't figure out what she wanted because I was her first serious boyfriend. I can't remember her exact words, but it was implied that in order to know, she would have to have more dating experience under her belt. But, she didn't want to break up at the time, so I stupidly agreed to just a break with no stipulation as to how long.

 

A few days later, I was super anxious so I drove down (about a one hour drive) to confront her in person. In addition to the things she's already told me, she said that "she doesn't love me as much as she should" and that she "emotionally checked out". At this time, she still wanted a break but I declined thinking what's the point if this is how she feels?

 

On my drive back, she called back CRYING and pleading with me to work things out but because of her wishy-washiness, I couldn't. I decided to take a 5 week NC break in which we could date other people so she could at least sort out any confusion. She agreed, but said that she wouldn't date. About 4 weeks into the break, I noticed she had revamped her online dating website and changed her status to single (what a liar, huh?).

 

So after the 5 weeks, I called her saying that I wanted to give it another shot if she was willing to be committed for the right reasons, but she couldn't because she said it would mainly be out of obligation more than anything else. A few other things she said was that she couldn't look past the fact that I wasn't a faithful Christian, that she wanted to live life "doing the things she wants to do and hang out whenever she wants to hang out" and that there was "room for improvement" when it comes to finding a compatible partner. What do you guys think? Does this sound like GIGS, an issue of compatibility, or a combination of both? A few other things to note...

 

1) She's 23 and I was her first everything (serious relationship, love, sexual partner). None of her previous relationships lasted more than a few months straight or went past the "honeymoon phase".

2) She was transitioning from school to work (that also meant moving back to the parent's house) and that change in life really scared her.

3) She grew up in a strict household and her dad currently works in a different country so she rarely sees him.

4) Her school program was very intense and put a damper on her social life.

5) I see she is on this dating website fairly often

6) She's clearly had commitment issues during our relationship. Took 4 months to be officially bf/gf, took her about 8 months into the relationship to say "i love you".

7) She still wanted be friends which of course I said I couldn't be for at least in the near future.

 

All these signs point to GIGS, but the fact that she was annoyed with my sense of humor and my lack of Christian faith also makes me wonder if it's also incompatibility. One part of me tells me if these were real concerns, that should have been brought up MUCH MUCH earlier. Or do you think those are just excuses?? I guess the only criteria for GIGS that doesn't apply is that she's not out partying all the time - at least not yet.

Edited June 18, 2012 by Pod81

[Mariana345]

I don't know for sure if my ex bf (OMG is still hard to put the "ex") has this G.I.G.S.

He told me that he was angry with me for the problems and fights through all the relationship, and that he doesn't felt the same way, he wanted to know if he can miss me and that kind of stuff.

 

Later on, however, I found out that he was going out to the movies and paying always 2 tickets, almost every week, so, I think he was dating someone already... I don't know if it is a romantic interest or just his "friend" but still he lied to me and go with someone else (even the day before he broke up with me!!)

 

But if is so... yeah, I can't take him back, never again :S

[Samilia]

I don't know for sure if my ex bf (OMG is still hard to put the "ex") has this G.I.G.S.

He told me that he was angry with me for the problems and fights through all the relationship, and that he doesn't felt the same way, he wanted to know if he can miss me and that kind of stuff.

 

Later on, however, I found out that he was going out to the movies and paying always 2 tickets, almost every week, so, I think he was dating someone already... I don't know if it is a romantic interest or just his "friend" but still he lied to me and go with someone else (even the day before he broke up with me!!)

 

But if is so... yeah, I can't take him back, never again :S

 

I hope that finding that out is helping you move forward with your life. It did the trick for me.

 

Don't you hate lies? I think that's what hurt the most. To think that someone you care for, and you thought cared for you, lied.

[Mariana345]

I hope that finding that out is helping you move forward with your life. It did the trick for me.

 

Don't you hate lies? I think that's what hurt the most. To think that someone you care for, and you thought cared for you, lied.

 

It kind of does... When I'm remebering the good times and good stuff I just think of those lies and a little angry grows inside me and the the good thoughts disappear. But still is too soon to let them go... I don't know why, in other circumstances I'd kick him out from my heart... But now seem too dificult to do... I want to kick him out

[Samilia]

It kind of does... When I'm remebering the good times and good stuff I just think of those lies and a little angry grows inside me and the the good thoughts disappear. But still is too soon to let them go... I don't know why, in other circumstances I'd kick him out from my heart... But now seem too dificult to do... I want to kick him out

 

I don't think you fall out of love in a day, that's probably why. Just because you have the common sense to understand what he did, and you're smart enough to know what to do, doesn't mean that your heart follows your head.

 

I have wished many times for my heart to follow my head, that's for sure

[ZhaoZilong5]

23M/20F. Together for 10 months. Wanted marriage and kids with each other after ola few years and our adventures were over. Long story short, I think my ex has G.I.G.S. She broke up with me because she was afraid of moving down to me (it was LDR), I had. I job/school, she felt like she was upsetting me a lot, and there was another guy.

 

She broke up with me out of the blue, but started losing feelings for me for a couple of months. A week after our BU, I went NC, and a day later, the guy disrespected her, and she started liking his friend more.

 

We talked about our problems post-BU, and I'm on my track to fixing everything on my side. I was unwilling to move, but I'm willing now. I'm getting a job and going back to school. The guy that she was afraid would jeopardize us is gone, but now she's living life for herself. She gave me the whole, "It's not you, it's me. We both need time apart to grow, especially me." Etc. She's spending a lot of time with this new guy, doing things she normally doesn't do, textbook G.I.G.S.

 

She still likes me a fair bit by has a big soft spot for that guy. She wants me to move on, doesn't want me to wait, still wants to be friends, etc. I went LC for a week, NC for 5 days, chased her for 2 with flowers when I did 'at know about the new guy, and I'm going LC/NIC now.

 

She said she'd most likely be back with me without his guy in the picture. She's been honest with me as much as she could every step of the way, besides not telling me she was liking me less during the 2 months or so prior to our BU. A lot of me has already accepted it and moved on, but what are my. Hances of reconciliation? She's getting kicked out of her house, so I hope she doesn't get become desperate and move in with him, though she already has money saved. She's taking a couple of months to be single and think about everything, since he past 3 weeks were so fast. What are our chances of reconciliation in this case?

[Mariana345]

I don't think you fall out of love in a day, that's probably why. Just because you have the common sense to understand what he did, and you're smart enough to know what to do, doesn't mean that your heart follows your head.

 

I have wished many times for my heart to follow my head, that's for sure

 

Hum... I still don't know if he has this GIGS ¬¬

We were having troubles and he was acting a little strange the past 2 months or so, and he said to me that he missed his friends a week before he broke up with me, and that I wasn't flexible (but when I told him to stop seen each other for a while he doesn't wanted to... )

 

Next weekend he broke up with me. He said that he has resentments with me because all the problems and fights in the relationship, That he doesn't feel the same way, even when I look cute or crying it doesn't feel the same as before, but he didn't know what to do, cause a part of him was telling him to stop and the other didn't want to.

 

He even told me that we were incompatible, have different dreams, and that it was for the best, that I need someone else .

 

He also told me that he still cares for me, but he didn't know if he could ever feel as before, that he wanted to MISS ME, to see If that can happen

 

So... after we brokeup he went to party every weekend and even go to the movies with someone else (he paid 2 tickets all the time ¬¬ so, maybe cheating [yeah, cheating, cause he went the day before he brokeup and even lied about it]) and contacted this "best female friend" of his, with who we had problems before, and with whom he drop all kind of contact 3 years ago because she liked him... so, you can figure it out

 

I don't want to excuse his behavior, but I would like to know if this maybe a case of GIGS... because it all was so strange...