JadedRomantic Posted May 30, 2013 Share Posted May 30, 2013 It is fine to experience new things and to meet new people, but people shouldn't expect a past lover to wait around for them when they are done. People should also realize that leaving someone to go do something else or to be with someone else really hurts and that creates resentment over time. Trying to re-enter into a relationship with that person at a later date may be difficult due to that resentment. It's still possible if both people have matured from the breakup, but many times people just can't overcome the resentment. I could never date my ex again after leaving me and it has been over 3 years now. I couldn't trust her at this point and would likely always wonder when she'd be out the door again. Oh yeah, I totally agree! NC may help the dumper realize a whole bunch of things, but NC is really for your own pride and sanity. lol But as much as I understand and am not angry for the GIGS taking place, I'm not waiting around either. I'm doing my own thing, hanging out with my own people, I'm open to dating others. Just casually. My heart and emotions aren't really into it but sometimes it's nice to go out with someone to remind yourself that you are desirable and it does help take your mind off things. Link to post Share on other sites
jabbzy64 Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I have been guilty of the 'grass is greener" syndrome... trust me.. it always isn't. I lost a great girl from it. Link to post Share on other sites
travelonic Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I see what Capital P wrote as a reply. And here's my reply to you as I am going thru a similar thing and I am actually older than my guy so I have also been thru GIGS meyself. Yes. He broke up with you to sleep with other girls. But that is just ONE ASPECT of the GIGS. Sleeping with other people is not the main concern. The main concern is to find out more about yourself and be sure about what you want or who you are. This includes new experiences, new people and new places. And altho sometimes the grass IS greener in their eyes, a lot of the times it isn't either. And if he finds out it isn't and wants to come back, that's not you being a back-up plan. That's him realizing that the grass isn't greener or that your 'grass' (lol) is the greenest for him. I'd rather be broken up with and then let him do him, even if that mean doing other girls, than to be lied to and cheated on while he 'figures himself out'. Keep ya head up! I'm in the same boat and it's NOT EASY and while I'm not sitting around waiting either, it's hard not to hold onto hope sometimes. Oh yeah, I totally agree! NC may help the dumper realize a whole bunch of things, but NC is really for your own pride and sanity. lol But as much as I understand and am not angry for the GIGS taking place, I'm not waiting around either. I'm doing my own thing, hanging out with my own people, I'm open to dating others. Just casually. My heart and emotions aren't really into it but sometimes it's nice to go out with someone to remind yourself that you are desirable and it does help take your mind off things. These two quotes summarize exactly how I feel, am approaching and looking at the situation. My ex did the same thing, thought she found greener grass and went gallivanting off on this obsessive fixation on said greener grass - and while hurt, and while trying to set myself on a new path, I am also understanding - easier for me than many others in their relationships because of how similar my ex and I were mentally, behaviorally. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CharlotteX Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I think this describes my break up to a T however our relationship was really really bad for a long time before the break up. we was together 3.5 yrs. Im 24 and hes 22 we got together on his 19th birthday (I was his first love) I fell pregnant very quickly, and he seemed fine with it and very happy. Our relationship has always been rocky due to some issues I have but also he has a very bad attitude. In the last 6 months of our relationship we moved in together as a family my partner was paying the rent and all the bills as I stay at home with our son I begun to feel like he resented me and several times he called me a ponce. I left him so many times in the build up because I felt like he didn't love me anymore and was just pushing me away. It was like he was exhausted of this relationship and working 6 days a week. I felt like he forced me to end things cos he didn't have the guts to do it. As soon as I left he was like that's it, he's joint the gym lost so much weight, out with his friends all time partying and drinking which he never done when we was together, booking lads holidays, even got back in contact with a girl mate he used to fancy before he met me, hes talking to her every day meeting up with her. Every one who knows us both is saying they cant believe the way he has acted. Its just don't seem like him. I have begged and pleaded for him back but hes not interested. I have now accepted that everything he has done points to that he no longer loves me and is happier with out me. I now am ready to accept it and move forward its been 3 months since we split, I just wondered if people think this sounds like G.I.G.S?? Link to post Share on other sites
CharlotteX Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Help anyone?? x Link to post Share on other sites
CorridorE Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I have been guilty of the 'grass is greener" syndrome... trust me.. it always isn't. I lost a great girl from it. Not to stir up old memories, just curious. How long was it before you realized you might have made a mistake? Link to post Share on other sites
Khlash Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Yes I'm still sad and hurt, I miss her but I do understand. What hurts the most is the fact that we were a great couple, nearly perfect match with just enough differences to keep things interesting. If this relationship didn't work I can't see how could any relationship work for me in the future, but I'll keep trying. That's all I can do now This is EXACTLY the situation I'm in... I was so great. Then she just changed. I tried to get the old her back but its like she wasn't the same person anymore... Link to post Share on other sites
JadedRomantic Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Help anyone?? x Charlotte - Try posting your own thread in a forum as this is a thread solely based on giving information about GIGS and people's own GIGS experiences. You may get more replies in your own thread. But, after reading your story ... I'm sorry. That must be so hard. And I really don't know if it is GIGS for him or if he was just not feeling if for awhile. I say this becasue you say: however our relationship was really really bad for a long time before the break up. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtandbroken Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 Hello Everyone and I new to this forum but was compelled to sign up with i saw this thread. My story is that I have been dating my gf since 2006 she was 15 I was 18 (we are now 22 and 25 respectively). We have been dating for the last 7.5 years. To further complicate things, we went to different colleges that were significant distances away from each other. However, we love each other very much and hardly ever fought. We would visit each other as much as we could, but would spend the majority of the time we would hang out during our summer and winter vacations and it was perfect. We talked everyday on the phone and on skype. This year she moved home to start law school on the other side of the country with the plan that I would follow after i graduated law school (this past year she was a 1L i was a 3L at different schools). We had talked about marriage and being together when i got home. I turned down a significantly higher paying job in DC to move home to be with her. 5 days after i moved home she started showing the symptoms of GIGS. She said she needed space and when i asked her why she said its "just something telling her." She asked for space and i tried to give it to her. I didn't call her that often or text and we hung out a lot less than we normally do. This past week she was acting so distant. She was constantly texting when I was with her and i tried my best to be upbeat and positive. However Last night, I just had to know what the heck was going on. I'll probably get flamed for this, but i checked her phone and she had been texting a friend about wanting to break up with me and hanging out with boys from her law school. To make matters worst, I am studying for the bar exam which is stressful in and of itself. I am devastated. I could not sleep and i feel so betrayed and hurt. I was especially irritated because there wasn't anything that could help me until i found this. I know i have problems with being insecure and with trust. She hides a lot of things from me that i find out about later. But i know neither of us is perfect. She said that she believes that we are supposed to be together and that this isn't forever but she needs to do it to find herself. I know everyone is just going to say she getting with another guy and that I need to move on. I know you are right, but my heart is telling me to fight because I love her. After she told me we taking a break, i told her that i respected her decision that I would not contact her and that I would miss her and love her everyday. I am fighting every ounce of my being to go through the NC rule and this thread has been so helpful. I wanted to thank everyone for their insight and words. I know the slim possibility of success with the NC rule, but I am willing to risk it. I have always thought that I had a high threshold for pain, but this is something else. I have never been more hurt or abandoned in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
LinkWorshiper Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 Oh man, this is exactly, exactly, EXACTLY what I'm dealing with right now! I wish I'd seen this a lot sooner than now, because all this time I have been trying to figure out exactly what has been going on. Though on the bright side, I think I've finally at least followed the suggested route to fixing things on my own. My ex abruptly dropped our 2.5 year relationship in the middle of an argument during a birthday party I threw for him. I ended up having a breakdown and was in the hospital, and since then have been working on recovery. We started speaking again and after a while, we were talking fairly regularly and also hanging out. I thought we were rebuilding things from the ground up, working on communication, trying to reconfigure basic things about ourselves... and I even thought there was a point where it sounded like he wanted to get serious again. Then he turned on a dime and said he'd met someone, though he wasn't sure if he really wanted to pursue her or if he just wanted to be her friend, he was just feeling it out. After all the flirting, I felt like I'd been strung along, so I told him if he was serious about that, then we shouldn't see each other for a little bit. I freak out daily I've now run him out of my life for good and it hurts because I love him so much, even though I knew it was important for me to stand up for myself and let him know where my boundaries were. I guess my question is, did I really run him out? Or did I do the thing that might actually bring him back to me one day? And did the few months spent trying to be his friend and trying to help him understand the things I deal with, trying to understand the things he deals with... did all that put a damper on everything and ruin it forever? I worry maybe my interactions with him had been a little too demanding, I guess... since I was trying hard to be clear about things I wanted and things I felt, and trying to get him to speak clearly with me about what he was thinking. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
marklarsson Posted June 30, 2013 Share Posted June 30, 2013 this GIGS thing has to be one of the most saddest things ever. in the sense that it becomes a lose lose situation. the person experiencing GIGS finds out they made a mistake and the other person over time moves on, out of being tired of waiting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/405982-6-month-break-up-cant-handle Link to post Share on other sites
louisa220 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 this nailed it on the head. and this cleared some things up for me. my boyfriend of 2.5 years broke up with me yesterday and i was completely blind sided and didnt see it coming. he says that hes not sure how he feels about me anymore and doesnt know if we're the right people for each other. he also said he wasnt sure he was ready to be in a serious committed relationship. he claimed that the last few months that i was away at school he felt like we were fading out and he thought it would get better when i got home for the summer and it didnt; it felt like i was still at school (8 hrs away) and that he just wasnt as excited to see calls and texts from me anymore. he also said he didnt know if he could do long distance again for another year or two. we were more than just bf/gf; we were best friends. im heart broken because i loved him so much and was willing to patiently wait for him to grow up and stop being immature and figure out his life. i understand his reasons and think they are legitimate. but he said he wants to stay best friends because he cares so much about me and still loves me and that that will never change. he said im always going to have a spot in his family and that if i ever need him or just want to talk or hang out, to never hesitate to call. he says this wont be the last time we see each other and he wants to meet up again before we both go back to school after summer. (he will be transferring to a state school this fall) after he left, he text me 3 hours later asking if i was okay but i didnt respond. the next morning he text me again saying he was sorry for texting me again but he wanted me to know that he felt crappy and i didnt deserve this, and that he would love to meet up again before we head out to school. im so confused as to why hes still talking to me if he doesnt want to be with me. why does he want to meet up and why did he end it if hes hurting as much as i am. i just dont understand why he wants to a reassure me that he'll always be there or why he insists we see each other again in a month before we go off to school. Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 im interested if the relationship is only 7 month lets say but similar actions or reason after the break up like gigs + its the longest relationship ever handle by that person gigs or its not? Link to post Share on other sites
Nicoleiia Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 My ex is engaged or married (don't know the details) and I was left for them. I guess the grass is greener and I am just a piece of clay. This sucks. I hope their relationship completely falls apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Luna Selene Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 Thank you for this thread. I finally read all of it today and had some moments of crying and some of reflection. My story is here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/407512-he-doesn-t-know-what-he-wants-but-he-doesn-t-love-me-anymore And I think it's probably due to G.I.G.S. , emotional trouble on his side, or both. But I have to say, right now reading the post about how the Grass WAS in fact Greener on the other side for someone just crushed me. The not wishing to go back. It's hurting me so much right now to read that, but I hope in the future I'm glad I did. I'm thinking that's what's going on in my ex's life, and it's hard to swallow right now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted July 10, 2013 Share Posted July 10, 2013 I currently have this syndrome. There are moments when I really think my husband and I can work it out and other moments where I really just want to date other people since I've never been with anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Dan250391 Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Just read through this after posting my own topic and each one of those points just feels so close to home for me. My girlfriend of nearly 3 years broke up with me suddenly over a little fight. We were best friends since 13 in school and we also had love for eachother and never stayed apart. I left for Uni and we left arguing, where I poured my heart out and she said she couldn't leave her boyfriend. So I left and barred all contact for a year even though she tried a few times during, then when I came back for Summer we got together and it went on from there. She told me she loved me after three days and that she wanted to marry me and have kids after a week. She always shared those dreams and we spent the first year long distance when I went back to Uni but saw eachother every week. Then we moved in together and everything was always perfect and even in down times our bond was never broken, it just felt natural. We broke up randomly one night over a tiny argument where she dropped that she didn't love me and didn't want to be with me anymore. We had to live together for the next three months because of our contract, but even from the day after we never seemed broken up apart from the verbal statement. We would spend all evening cuddling and kissing, and even fell back to telling me she loved me and still talking about our future. We were even still fooling around and she would tell me things like not to go to work and stay and have sex with her all day. Whilst at first when I tried to talk to her about it she just shut me out, got agitated and asked for space. Over time I got more and more out of her and at first she blamed it on a bipolar episode (which I could see and it was like before) and told me that she still loves me but wasn't in love with me, also said that she just didn't know what she wanted and needed time and space to work out, and she didn't want to be in a relationship and that I shouldn't wait for her. But at the same time as telling me this she couldn't help but burst in to tears. More time passed and I learned of factors that went into the break up. Around 6 months before the break up I graduated and it became a confusing time for me; I wanted a year off after 16 straight years of education and at the same time I got promoted in my part time job and it became full time with a lot of responsibilities and stress. I just didn't know what to do and with everything I started running out of time, I went from 20 hours a week at work to 40 plus travel, so I didn't have time for my girlfriend like I used to and other hobbies like working out and friends went out the window. I just became tired and depressed, feeling lost. She wasn't going to Uni or doing the work and only worked 12 hours a week; and she'd do nothing but spend all day in bed watching TV waiting for me. Then I'd come home and want to do nothing and we'd have conflicts of interest and want to do different things with the little time I had spare. She started shutting me out and I was so tired and depressed I didn't do anything about it. She told me after a while that she started to feel unloved and unwanted months before we broke up and that hurt because she's all I ever wanted since I was 13. Additionally she wanted to move town to be closer to Uni but I was stubborn about it. Financially it would've been a disaster because I couldn't keep my job and the town was much smaller with even less prospects. So I kind of declined in a sideways fashion without giving a definitive no. I regret that with everything I have. But at the same time she started seeing someone else and I knew from the moment it started. But she denied and denied till I found out from seeing messages over her shoulder. When I confronted her she told me she didn't know what she wanted and she is just trying to find out what she wanted. So at that point I kept contact minimal and began focusing on me. So I began texting this girl from work and I liked her and she liked me, and even though we made hundreds of plans we never went out once and nothing ever happened. But my ex was aware she saw texts and the girl liked to drunk call me, and I was straight with my ex and told her what was happening. She was jealous and made it obvious and was so harsh about it. Even though she told me not to wait for her. After a while she got closer and she slowly got closer with me and cut him out; to the point where it felt like we were getting back together. We spent all our time together, texted all the time again and she was telling me she loved me all the time and that she missed me even though I'd only gone to the gym or to work. She would say that she doesn't think I love her anymore with such worry. It even got to the point where my friends came up from home to go on a night out and she followed me to the club with her friend; following me around the club and telling me she doesn't think she loved me. It got to the point where she said it so many times that I flipped and told her that I can't even believe she questions that when I've done nothing but love her for ages and if she loved me why is she sleeping with someone else. It sounds like she realised the grass was greener, but then it also seems like ti was too soon. But we had an argument over the girl I was texting. I had stopped at this point but my ex was playing on my phone one day because I have nothing to hide. She went in to my photos and saw one photo, of this girl and her friend in a club that I had to show my friends who were asking who was texting me. She flipped and wouldn't talk to me about it, just called me a liar and then went out all night with her friend. She told me after that she was thinking of getting back together with me and asking me to move in to her new flat but now she changed her mind and thinks we need to be single for a bit. She met someone when she went out and has been seeing him. It's back to square one and I couldn't do it anymore. It was lies and denial when it was obvious what was going on and I told her like before to just be straight and I'll respect her decision and move on. I couldn't do it anymore and I changed my original plans of staying in town and decided to move back home because I couldn't stay around whilst she decided what she wants and sees other people. When I told her she broke down instantly into tears, I'd never seen anything like it. She just kept staring into space and repeating "I'm never going to see you again". She stayed this way until I left constantly breaking in to tears saying she doesn't want me to leave and can't believe I'm leaving and getting me to promise I'll come up and stay with her, like she wanted me to when I was staying in town. The goodbye was incredibly emotional, we both cried and we couldn't let each other leave. She kept saying things like before and I dont know what I'll do without you, how did this happen and telling me she loves me and not to forget her. For the journey back she was texting me all the time a complete mess; saying she wants me there and cant do anything without me. She carried on for a few days telling me she missed me all the time, posting sad songs on Facebook and wanting me to check and talking about still having kids. She even talked to me about possibly moving to a Uni back home and calling me five times in 3 hours. She seemed like she couldn't cope without me until one day she was fine and telling me how she was going to an outdoor pool with "work friends" and I knew she was with him and I found out she was. But I didn't raise the point but since then shes been like she was before I moved, normal and still great with me but it's like she is repressing the emotional stuff though it still sometimes breaks out. Though now I haven't heard from her all day. Throughout the break up limbo I tried to maintain maturity. I wanted to go out being remembered for what we had that was good and how great our bond was rather than being bitter and horrible because she didn't want to be with me. Don't get me wrong, I made sure I wasn't a pushover when she was being ridiculous like obviously lying to me and texting these guys but when she gave me the time I made it worth it. I know actions speak louder than words so I made the effort to be the guy that she fell in love with and show that I can change; I got back into the best shape of my life and she appreciated it everyday when she couldn't keep her hands off me, I cleaned up after myself, looked after myself more and I made more time for her. I looked after her Nan who raised her like a mother by getting her 80% off of a Dyson through work. I even decorated her new flat and built her furniture with her because I couldn't bare to see how upset she was when she was showing me around, it was a state. Part of me thinks that maybe I was being an idiot after all she left me and everything that happened, but at the same time I had an opportunity to spend time with her post break up to remind her of what we had and what she loved in me. Now I've read so many pages of this thread and there are conflicting arguments between GIGS and the dumper losing interest in the dumpee. And I wonder if it is the later because she left because she was unloved and went for someone else. But then I know for a fact that both of these guys have nothing on me, first of all they are never going to share our bond but when it boils down to the guys they are; they show traits that she hates in people and they aren't better physically, they were both older but with permanent jobs that make them as much if not less as I do in my temporary job until I find a graduate job/career. I don't think she has lost interest in me really given how she broke down when I wanted to leave, almost got back together and has repeatedly talked about and initiated sex with me. I don't know what to do, I want to attempt no contact but then I am scared that I will lose her for good because of it, after all she left me because she felt unloved and unwanted and no contact may make her feel that way too. But I don't want to over crowd and I know she has hurt feelings as much as I do and needs space to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
JimRiley Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 I'm glad I stumbled across this thread two days ago because last week Monday, my girlfriend broke up with me because of GiGS. Telltale symptoms: she told me I did nothing wrong at all and theres nothing wrong with me and that I shouldn't beat myself up over it, she can handle te distance because she's ready for that (I'm in the Marine Corps right now), she says she fell out of love with me and doesn't know why she feels that way. She just knows that this is how she feels and she can't explain it. So I did try the classic moves of trying to convince her otherwise and change her mind but she felt like this is what she needs to do. So I've given up and eventually, because of how much I love her I realized that if this is what she wants to do to be happy at this point then ill make that sacrifice. I accepted her decision. She wants to still be friends and she texted me once or twice after breaking up with me but otherwise I haven't talked to her since Saturday. I feel like I should just keep going with little to no contact as advised by the OP. Shes turning 21 on Sunday and I'm 22 and we dated for over 7 months and we did fantastic for a relationship built around months away and only days to weeks together at a time. We didn't see an end in sight and we got comfortable with each other. Her family loves me so much and her mom was so shocked that she actually argued for me apparently. She just tells me to be patient and hopes My ex" will find her way back to me because I am "good" for her. We were doing great together too and folks I believe started to rumor that we'd eventually marry. I said I never wanted to marry until I left the Corps but I have nothing against it of course and we used to indirectly talk about kids and marriage and stuff but that's about it really. Her mom even used to call me her son-in-law. I feel like she had that quarter-crisis because of marriage being tossed around. But really it comes down to her being young and she probably feels like she's not entirely sure yet about anything. Her reasoning was just wanting to be alone for a "long long time" and she just can't explain why she feels like that. She says its all right and that it's "not the end of it all" so maybe she knows what's she's doing afterall. If not, she'll find her way eventually. I have accepted it because of how much I love her. I just wanted to shout out that this thread has comforted me entirely because its entirely true. This thread has given me the answers to my questions and reassured me that this is pretty normal. It hurts, it sucks and I still love her so much but now I can move on a bit better knowing its a phase that she WILL leave. I'm hopeful for the future but I won't be "waiting" per say. I'll start focusing on my job a little more, have a little more fun on my own now and just perhaps casually date to keep my game up. I don't know. Thank you for this thread, it has eased my mind significantly and I feel healthier because of it. My only question I have is that if I keep contact down to a minimum (a text or two maybe once a week or two, maybe text a few months apart) would that hurt the chances in the end of getting back together or creating that "opportunity"? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 My only question I have is that if I keep contact down to a minimum (a text or two maybe once a week or two, maybe text a few months apart) would that hurt the chances in the end of getting back together or creating that "opportunity"? keeping communication wont create an opportunity. they either will come back or they wont... you'll know if they do want to come back because they will be a complete and total moron and even admit it Link to post Share on other sites
daftpunk Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 Everyone is guilty of this at one point or another. The grass will always be as green as we want it to be. Link to post Share on other sites
JimRiley Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 keeping communication wont create an opportunity. they either will come back or they wont... you'll know if they do want to come back because they will be a complete and total moron and even admit it So really, I might as well go NC entirely because that day may or may not come either way. This is just to heal and "hope" she sees the light and does t move on entirely. I've had stranger reoccurrences so I believe anything is possible. Now what if I initiate contact after many months or years from now? Is that a good idea at all? I'm just curious if that affects anything. Link to post Share on other sites
CptSaveAho Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 (edited) So really, I might as well go NC entirely because that day may or may not come either way. This is just to heal and "hope" she sees the light and does t move on entirely. I've had stranger reoccurrences so I believe anything is possible. Now what if I initiate contact after many months or years from now? Is that a good idea at all? I'm just curious if that affects anything. it doesnt help and you honestly wont really care after a while... its seriously like oh the ex contacted me... oh well and you shrug it off when i was your age i dealt with the same thing your going through now, ex gigsed out... she called me 4-5 years later, told me she moved to another state, got married divorced, had a kid etc... back then i had no idea what gigs was and i could have lived and been perfectly fine if she had never called me people in gigs stay in it a long time nowadays, its really best to move forward with your life and start new chapters in your life.. all staying in contact does is keep reminding you of the breakup over and over again, i dont know about you but thats not something i want to be reminded of, deal with every few months Edited July 18, 2013 by CptSaveAho Link to post Share on other sites
JimRiley Posted July 18, 2013 Share Posted July 18, 2013 Well, oddly enough and unexpectedly she texted me last night. I was impressed to say the least. I've been going NC since Saturday but during the week, especially after I stumbled across this thread, I've come to terms significantly with it all. So when she texted me I let it sit a little bit and then replied. She was just asking how I was doing. We chatted, talked about some movies we wanted to see together, the parties she has been going to (sounds like she has been Partying it up quite a bit, not surprising when it comes to this GiGS business then), she works pretty much all the time too lately. She was being a lot more outgoing too and definitely more receptive this time around. I flirted a bit (the moment arises and I went with it). She was very receptive to it in a positive way it seemed. I won't make a habit out of it though. I don't plan on talking to her anytime soon or anything and when she contacted me I didn't get over excited and have a flush of emotions overcome me in anyway. So I think it's progress. Still, I fear becoming friend zoned in some way so naturally I'm not going to keep on talking to her very often or anything. But I don't think in this case of GiGS that going NC is entirely smart per say. I don't know but I'm still playing it close to my heart either way. Didn't think she'd even want to talk to me considering she advocated all of this anyway. Unexpected but positive at the same time. Gonna just keep what I've been doing regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
for666 Posted July 20, 2013 Share Posted July 20, 2013 k for less info i can ashore you 100% that there is grass is greener syndrome i talk'd about it with my psychologist and she explained it to me it's non maturity (they don't call it gigs tho) it's when a person fall in love for real ! for the first time! and when the Faze of lust get's over they get confused and cold fit cold fit and g.i.g.s syndrome are vary alike! i read around thousand's thread's and i'm not kidding first of all in order to get something clear! in order to fall out of love! (with no reason!) the dumper have to fall in love! falling in love is something very hard and uniq! so if women say she fall out of love let be ashore that she did fall in LOVE! HARD CORE! she just got stun'd from the love the g.ig.s syndrome can be taken in account only if the relationship is around 6m+ and uselly the most perfect one ( no problem a almost perfect comp ability) the dumper not always keep's contact sometime they are hurt so thay prefer to minimize the contact but you will notice crumbles (she ask's mutual friend how are you) and if someone tells her you are hurt she immediately gonna ask him why and try to explain her point of view the dumper have NO F REASON WHAT SO EVER they gonna say only one thing and only ( I DON'T KNOW I JUST FEEL LIKE THAT) it's emotional ****! if you'r relationship was good! i mean really good ( YOU GONNA FEEL IT WAS) lets say her best ever till now and if she say's she gonna remember you always cos you the best till now well chances she gonna get back are realistically hie but sometime the grass is greener but let me tell you something 90% it's not! and 10% is she understand it's WHERE you water the grass it's greener ! but we must understand that in this faze! we need to move on NC gonna get you chance faster cos she gonna find her self faster without you and 100% if you gonna be always there for her she really gonna lose interest in you and live you for good! and i read allot people with that syndrome that sad if he wasn't there for me always i might get back to him (BUT HE WAS ALWAYS THERE SO.... ) SO NC BE STRONG AND LIVE ON! if she come's back k until than you gonna know if you want her back or not but 100% it gonna happen 1-10 years so.... you wanna wait that long or try something new??? in ORDER to become more experienced? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts