"The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome

[Tommy16]

Hi guys, read this whole thread and has been really really interesting. Got a suspected GIGS related break up if you wouldn't mind having a read through and leaving your thoughts on my situation.

 

Thanks

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/451045-unsure-now-after-gigs-breakup

[Kevin_D]

What really causes the 180? Are they aware that this is happening? Do they force themselves to try out new things?

 

I mean, I'm quite unhappy right now. I'm trying to hang out with my friends a lot even though I really just want to be left alone. I do this because I realise that this will help me get over her quicker. I force myself to do this.

 

So when the GIGS victims start drinking and date a bunch of douchebags, is this a conscious decision or does something happens in the brain?

 

Because my ex really did a 180. Just a few months ago, when we found a dead frog, she started to cry and we arranged a burial. If I wrote something romantic on a piece of paper, she would always keep it. She cared so much about all these little things. And she wanted to be with me all the time.

 

And then suddenly, within a few days, everything changed. She became arrogant, started to act cocky, talked like teeanger, had new opinions about things. She didn't seem to care about anything. And then she broke up and stated how much happier she is without me.

 

Can anyone explain what happens in her brain? Do they behave like this on purpose, or is it just something that happens?

[mm373]

I'm right there with you Kevin.. Still trying to understand what happened.

 

My ex was super sweet, cried for days when we took care of baby deer for a day and found him dead the following day, sent me an edible arrangement when I got my new job (1 month before the break up), kept all the little cards and notes I've ever given her, and still does. However now she is cold and "playing cool".. The way she talks to people changed, and she is partying a ton and acting like she is an alcoholic and the happiest person alive (She just turned 21 6 months ago and never really drank until a few months ago other than socially here and there).. She tells me we may get another chance in May when she graduates and moves back to the city Im living in but the idk, the person Im seeing now is def not the person I dated, even to the little details such as wearing fake nails (stuff she hated before).

 

Like you I would love to have some answers but that probably wont happen and we probably have to accept that and just focus on ourselves. Thats the only part we can control. We will see what happens!

[Haydn]

I dont think its helpful or healthy to seek the answers. Maybe they did not change? Maybe that was always them? Maybe they have issues? Maybe they wannt somone else? Maybe they will come back when their new life fails? But does that leave you or us in a strong position? Nope. Forget them. Nearly a new year. Time for something new?

[Kevin_D]

I dont think its helpful or healthy to seek the answers. Maybe they did not change? Maybe that was always them? Maybe they have issues? Maybe they wannt somone else? Maybe they will come back when their new life fails? But does that leave you or us in a strong position? Nope. Forget them. Nearly a new year. Time for something new?

 

Well... I believe in science. If you conduct the same experiment under identical conditions 100 times and always get the same result, there's usually a good explanation why it is happening.

 

In my case:

 

LTR - check (6.5 years)

 

Girl 19 - 25 - check (24 years)

 

Dysfunctional family - check (divorced parents, older siter moved out at the age of 16, bipolar mother later commited suicide)

 

Little experience - check (I was her first boyfriend and she wasn't allowed to date or go to parties before me wet)

 

When I read Homebrew's post, it's like this was bound to happen eventually. It's like it doesn't matter how attached she is to me, because there will be a constant itch that she's missing out on something better. But I still can't understand the 180. I mean, SHE wanted to be with me all the time. SHE made plans about the future. SHE borrowed stuff from me just a few days before the breakup. And then she turned into another person.

 

There must be some kind of explanation to this. Homebrew has made great job describing what is happening, but not why it is happening. And since this is a thread about GIGS, it would be great to hear some of your theories.

[CDubs464]

Homebrew, your posts have been so helpful. I am going through an excrutiating break up at the moment. You can check out the whole story on a thread I started last Friday. I am maintaining No Contact and hold in my heart, a sincere hope for reconciliation down the line with a partner who has matured to my emotional level. I love him so and letting him go... to move across the country, live with his parents, and pursue a relationship with a childhood friend and teenage fling... it is killing me quietly. But... he feels this is what he needs. My needs have not mattered or been on his screen for a long time now. I couldn't live with that for myself anymore... I want more from my partner. I could live with the relationship for him anymore... he clearly needed to not be in it. So.. I"m just sad now.. hurt,... and hoping. Moving forward one step at a time.. day by day. There was no begging... I cut contact pretty fast after our second split and hope that he works out his noodle... he has some work to do for sure... I was wondering... what are your opinions on rebound relationships for someone with G.I.G.S.? What if the rebound is with an almost life long friend who has been counted as part of his family for years? What if there is a prior romantic/sexual history with this person... even if it is ten years in the past and when they were teenagers? What if all this woman had to say to him was, "I'm in love with you," and when one day, things were fine... the next day... it's all done? I'm finding myself thinking about him all the time and missing him so much. I won't contact him as I know it is bad for me and I want to heal myself because I love myself very much and I won't contact him because he needed to explore this... so I need to give the space and freedom to do so. I feel so... stuck. Any suggestions? Thanks so much for all your thoughtful commentary here. It has been extremely helpful to me and many others.

[nyer]

I've been on the receiving end of GIGS, hated it, then she came around but we were done.

 

Funnily enough, I've also fallen victim to GIGS myself both before and after the aforementioned breakup. At first I thought that made my ex's actions justifiable, but age and maturity have taught me that GIGS is just an illusion. An illusion that's fed by our pop culture and definitely seems more prevalent in our modern world.

 

I will stop here, because I think the following article goes into more detail in a more coherent way than I would have time to write now. In essence, my word of advice if you're the one suffering, GIGS is something you should get over. It's just up to you whether or not you want to pursue the illusion of 'having it all'.

 

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/sheryl-paul/grass-always-greener-syndrome

[Greenj30]

-Relationship we were only together about 8 months but we both admitted to feeling like we had been dating for a lot longer than that. We had no serious issues I was her first serious BF. She pretty much made me initiate the break up. I'm 21 shes turning 21

 

The break up

-Was amicable I cried a little bit but that was it no begging no pleading other classic mistakes.

-Romantic feelings were there just not enough. (ILYBNILWY ?)

-She feels secure in the relationship but she needs to feel secure in herself.

-There would be times where everything I was doing started to annoy her.

-She felt something was missing couldn't put her finger on it.

-Spark is gone.

-She asked me not to close the door saying we could still workout.

-There really wasn't any warning she said "I don't know why this is happening i don't know if it has something to do with other things going on I don't know"

 

Afterwards

-Mixed Signals

-Shes not dating anyone else as of now.

-She seems guilty though saying she has "much more to apologize for and that I deserve so much."(This could also be regret or remorse but it seems like she wants me to do all the work.)

-"You have no idea how hard this is for me believe me I really don't wanna be just friends either."

-"I have so much room in my heart for you."

Edited December 30, 2013 by Greenj30

[mantlefan]

Hello everyone, my 25-year old girlfriend (I'm 24) of 5 years broke up with me almost 6 months ago.

 

 

We had started talking about marriage (even the location of the wedding and the reception), but we were not on the same page with kids. She knew she really wanted them, and I had a lot of reservations; fear of being a bad dad, fear of our relationship changing for the worse, fear of something going wrong (my friend's wife died recently in childbirth), and fear of trying to raise a kid when my faith was really weak and the consequences of that, as well as just not being sure if I ever wanted to give up the freedom of being childless.

 

 

I should say that we met at a nonprofit summer camp, and worked together as a great team. We both still have strong ties to the camp, and may possibly work there next summer. I guess it is fairly similar to a divorced couple having a child. We both seem to want to put the "child's" best interests ahead of our own uncomfortableness. We had a strained relationship this past summer before the breakup because we were in charge for the first time, and we had a lot of stress from our bosses that we never had before, and we were grumpier with each other far more than we have ever been.

 

 

I told her that I loved her and wanted to be with her, but I could not guarantee her I wanted kids, and more or less that it had to be her choice. I was sure she would pick me, but she didn't. This was before the last week of our camping season, and both of us put the camp ahead of talking about it. I couldn't bottle it up, so I wrote her a letter every day, trying to hurt her as much as I felt hurt. When she broke up, she seemed pretty hurt too, but I ignored that at the time. I think at the time she genuinely wanted to stay with me, although I know that I was not trying as hard as I should have to find a full time job after the summer, and that might have influenced her as well.

 

 

A couple weeks later, after lots of anger, despair, and having hit rock bottom, I started to pray about it. I had an epiphany moment later, where I realized that someday, I do want to be a dad, if I can find someone who is going to be a good mother, and I really felt God in my life. I told her this, and she said she believed me and was initially happy, but then realized her feelings for me were not the same. She said she had forgiven me for how I treated her after the breakup, but wanted space, and said that might mean seeing other people, and that we might get back together, but I shouldn't assume it will happen. 6 months later, I am still convinced that my change of heart for my faith and for the question of kids is real.

 

 

In late August, about a month after the breakup, we saw each other at a camp reunion, and got along, making small talk about her new teaching job (we are both teachers by training). She could tell I was a jealous that she was flirting with one of our mutual friends, and told me to ask what I wanted to ask. I asked if she and he were "starting something," and she said "no."

 

 

As the weeks went on, we sort of settled on an agreement that I could keep sending her notes and gifts, letting her know how I felt and that I wanted her back, and that we would try to remain friends and coworkers, but I should try to keep the two efforts separate, and she was clear that if we wanted to be friends, I shouldn't do it as part of trying to get her back.

 

 

She even came over for a few game nights with friends, and after one of them we stayed up till 4 am, talking about what went wrong. She said that I wasn't very close to her family, which was very important to her (and she was never very clear about me with that, that she wanted me around more), that she was concerned with me not being very social, and that my relationship with my mother scared her (we don't fight a lot, but we don't get along well either). The main thing for her was that I did not confide in her about my doubts in faith.

 

 

This carried on (getting along well as seeming friends (laughing, talking about deep concerns we have with our careers, and with the camp we work at, while about every 2 weeks I would mail her something letting her know how I felt)) until late November, where I was about to undergo a major surgery and wanted to turn over a new leaf afterwards, knowing where we were both at. She told me she didn't feel she was in love with me anymore, didn't think we were ever going to get back together, and thought we tried too soon to be friends. It was a little complicated because I was having a big party for the camp staff in late December, and we both felt it would be wrong not to invite her, as we are both leaders of the staff. I did tell her however, that I wanted to focus on having a good time, so if she had a significant other coming to the party, she should try not to show too much PDA as it would honestly make it hard for me to be cheery and entertaining.

 

 

Well, the party went well, everyone had a good time, and the same friend who she told me she wasn't starting anything with was there (he and I go to the same church, and got along pretty well, we are very similar). She told me that she was going to go to my church the next day for "something different." I thought the next morning about asking if the two of them want to go out to eat, trying to move forward as friends. Well, at church, he has his arm around her, and she leaves in his car with his whole family. Before he leaves, I ask him if he wants to go to dinner, since I think "I shouldn't change my plans just because of her."

 

 

So after dinner, I told him straight up that I still loved her and wanted to be with her, and that he and I probably couldn't be friends if they dated. He then told me she has been after him for awhile. I then put it together that she was already after him when she said she and I might still be together, and he knew she was after him even as I was asking him for advice from his breakup on how to help with mine. I told him that if he was really going to love her and take care of her and be there for her, he wouldn't be doing anything wrong by being with her. I told him I realized that that maybe me saying that killed any chance of me getting back with her, but I really feel like I was honest and that if she thinks she can't be happy being with me, then I felt like I should help her be happy by helping her get with him. He (at least said, but can I really trust them anymore?) that he still wasn't sure if they were good for each other, if he wanted a relationship, or if he should get with her because she wants him a lot more than he (says) he wants her. I know there is an attraction, but he acts like he is not sure if he wants to go for it or not. Should I believe him?

 

 

I told her that I still want to do what I can for the nonprofit we work for, even if that means taking the uncomfortableness of being around her, and that I still care about her, but I don't think withholding the fact that she was after my friend as I was confiding in that friend about my breakup with her is something she would do if she really did want to be my friend, so she needs to ask herself if being my friend is what she really wants.

 

 

I don't want to lose my friendship with him if I don't have to. Is that a bad thing, that I feel like our friendship is contingent on whether she is with him or not? Is it wrong to expect him to tell me if he is with her already or if he is going to try to be with her?

 

 

I also have to wonder about whether she had feelings for him before the breakup. She seemed like she still wanted to be with me, and that it was a hard decision for her and that it hurt her to hurt me, and for the longest time I believed that we would have stayed together if I would have realized earlier that I DO want kids, but when I finally told her that, she said her feelings were not the same and she wanted space. It's hard not to imagine that she was already after him at that point, just 3 weeks after. Does it do me any good to find out? I think the kids question might have broken us up anyways, but I wonder if she brought it up at that super busy time of the year (during the summer camp season) as an excuse to break up to go after my friend (who had worked there with us for 2 years).

 

 

 

There seems to be a lot of similarities to a GIGS. I was her first real boyfriend, we were together 5 years, the breakup was sort of sudden (although in retrospect I think there were a lot of signs), she was 25, we were talking more about marriage, as I worked out some of my problems that were issues for her (kids, faith) she brought up more reasons why it failed, wishy-washyness (telling me we might get back together, but I should move forward, telling me she wants to be friends, telling me I can keep sending her letters and gifts, but also that she wants space, telling me that she still cares about me but doesn't want to get back together with me right now or maybe ever, and at this point she says she never sees it happening).

 

 

I really do still care about her, and I want to bow out of her life. I guess maybe I stuck around for too long for there to be a chance at reconciliation. I don't however, want to do bow with the hope that we will reconcile. I still have that hope, that we will get back together. And before I ever found this thread, I decided I would try to leave her alone. But now, it seems like leaving her alone is the best thing if I want to get back together with her. So now I have a rekindled hope. It seems like the thing that will make her the happiest (getting out of her way) is also the thing that will give me the most hope we will get back together.

 

 

So I guess the question is what do I want? I want her to be happy, even if others don't believe me. I do want to get back with her, but I want to move on if that isn't going to happen, and kill the hope. It seems like the best thing might be to go away to where getting back together can't happen. I have never been one to run away from my problems, the kids question was the first time I have been deathly scared of something and hid from it, and it made me sick, but when the problem is that I can't get away from wanting her back...

Edited January 2, 2014 by mantlefan

[goldfighter3]

My girlfriend of three years literally got together with her acrobatic partner and ran away with him to the circus... Not sure if gigs, or if I just trusted her too much...

[travelonic]

What really causes the 180?

 

That is a good question that I wish there was a scientific answer to, if one does not already exist.

[Juha]

Here's a question to everyone:

 

I have read pretty much the whole thread and it seems there is no one way as to how they treat the dumpee after they break up.

 

Some try to stay in contact all the time. Some once in a while. Some say they love you but don't want to be with you. Some say they don't love you.

Some just fall off the face of the earth and NC.

 

Some act normal with you. Some act angry, cold, distant towards you.

 

So after thinking is there any reason or difference for why they treat you how they do after they broke up with you I have come up with nothing.

 

Only things I can come up with is how and why they act the way they do is it's all about them and how they feel they need to move forward from you.

 

Also am curious as to dumpers unfriending dumpees on fb and other social media, phone, email, etc. Is this common?

 

these are all just thoughts I have had

[hurts2death]

well it tends to happen this.the dumper most of times has a sensation of owning you.so they want to approve it. they also need to boost their ego you see they become the most selfcentric humans....keep nc.it gets better.the person you once knew doesnt exist anymore.time shapes everything.what you say is common if you stayed friend enough to be a source of freeing their guilt they completely recycle you.

Here's a question to everyone:

 

I have read pretty much the whole thread and it seems there is no one way as to how they treat the dumpee after they break up.

 

Some try to stay in contact all the time. Some once in a while. Some say they love you but don't want to be with you. Some say they don't love you.

Some just fall off the face of the earth and NC.

 

Some act normal with you. Some act angry, cold, distant towards you.

 

So after thinking is there any reason or difference for why they treat you how they do after they broke up with you I have come up with nothing.

 

Only things I can come up with is how and why they act the way they do is it's all about them and how they feel they need to move forward from you.

 

Also am curious as to dumpers unfriending dumpees on fb and other social media, phone, email, etc. Is this common?

 

these are all just thoughts I have had

[bodomfan91]

Hey Homebrew, here's my situation:

 

My girlfriend and I started dating about a year and a half ago. When we first met, she was in a relationship with another guy who was not treating her right (taking money from her, hitting her, etc.) A few months later she broke up with him and moved right into dating me. The first six months were great, standard honeymoon phase and all that, we never fought, had lots of sexual contact, etc.

 

Not too long after that, we started bickering and fighting, mostly over my having issues with her going out and drinking and partying. Some of it was her fault, some of it was mine, usually involving my bad temper, but we worked through it and still every single day we said we loved each other. However over the course of our relationship we started having less and less intimacy. She said she was getting stressed out with her job working her all kinds of hours and her just starting college.

 

A little after dating for a year, we got into a big fight and she said she wanted to be alone to figure things out and think. She said that she was depressed and that she didn't know what she wanted, and that I know exactly what I want and I know where I am going, and she did not want to string me along. So during this time, I started to get help to get my anger issues under control, and showed her that I changed. After about a week, she called me for the first time since the breakup, we had a long talk about what the issues we were having in the past were, and agreed to both work on our faults and make this work. I told her that I really didn't care if she went out and partied (which I really don't, I just have a bad preconcieved idea of what will happen if she does). We started going back out again, and things were great, but now its roughly a month after that, and I noticed she was being short with me and distant and I kept asking her what was wrong and she would always say nothing. She had also started talking to another guy, who she said was an old high school friend. I didn't think much of it because of 2 reasons: One was that she said she did not find him attractive in any way and said that there is no way they were compatible cause he worships the ground she walks on, and two is that when we were broken up for that week, he tried to make a move and she outright rejected him, actually defending me and telling him he doesn't know the kind of person I am when he accused me of being a terrible boyfriend and treating her badly.

 

So, my now ex girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me, saying that she needs to be alone for a while. I kept my anger under control and asked her what the problem was, and she said that she is depressed, and that she doesn't want to keep stringing me along in a relationship she cannot put 100% into, just like before, and that she needed to be alone for a while. She said that I am a man of my word and that I did get my problems under control and fixed, but it is not fair to me for me to keep giving and getting nothing in return. Immediately after the breakup, she went out and partied for a solid week with her friends. However, I found out that she has been spending a lot of time with the other guy, and stayed over his house, with other people, twice this week. I also saw her twitter and how it looked like she was flirting with him, and he was calling her his future girlfriend and such.

 

Naturally, I got really angry and did what I now know I should not have done, which was call her and call her out on it. I found out that she had lied to me and said she needed a recharge day, when in reality she was going to spend time with him. A different day, she said she was going out with her girlfriends shopping, when they actually went to his house to drink. She said she was scared to tell me because she didn't want me getting angry that she went out and drank, even though I told her when we got back together I don't have a problem with it. After that she asked if I was ok. I said I was fine and asked if she still loved me. She said she did in a way, and I asked her what that meant. She said she didn't know cause we have only been broken up for 2 days. Apparently she asked a couple of my friends about me the day after the breakup, but other than that I haven't heard anything. I am currently on day 5 of NC and haven't heard anything from her, but she keeps posting on twitter how last week was the best week ever (multiple times), and how this week is gonna be good.

 

So my questions are:

Is this worth pursuing or did I do too much damage?

If her friends hate me, will it affect her decision to contact me?

Since this is the second time we broke up, do I still have a chance?

Are the twitter posts just her trying to convince herself she made the right decision, or is she actually indifferent?

And finally, judging by the circumstances, do you guys think she will contact me?

 

Thanks in advance for all the help, I know its a lot of text but I wanted to be as clear as possible about everything.

 

1'm 22, she's 19. Been in no contact for a little over a month. She's dating the dude now. He's a bum. A pothead loser. She's doing everything she said she hates with him. Drinking a ton, smoking hookah, etc...She might even throw her virginity away to him. I'm a better man in every way shape and form. I didn't get the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech though. I got the "I don't know what I want, and I want to be alone" speech. I asked if she still loved me, she said in a way, but she didn't know cause we just broke up. Then she said she was sorry for hurting me and she hoped I could forgive her.

Edited January 8, 2014 by bodomfan91

[SJChris]

So...if you suspect your relationship ended due to GIGS and your partner tried to come back later but you're completely over them send them this and this alone:

 

I love music. I honestly don't know what I'd do without it.

[SJChris]

Here's another great song to send to them:

 

[d0cholliday]

This GIGS is a nice thing to open your eyes, good job. We choose what we want, each of us deals with the pain differently, for me is going NC, enjoy the life, meet other girls, date etc, but first set my life straight, there's nothing else you can do... If you think it's good for you to be nice to your ex, than be nice, see where that takes you, either it will work out well or you'll hit your head against a wall and think, jesus wtf did I do, or you'll get hurt again... So I think best advice is make your dreams happen no matter what, and have as much fun and happines doing that.

[SatcNyC]

Im the dumpee in this situation currently. We were together for about a year and I was dumped. I tried to figure it out, talk to him, figure out what the problem was but he could never tell me exactly what it was. One reason would be the idea of wanting to be with other women, the other was not wanting commitment. Yet he would continue to look for me, want to spend time together, talk and be friends. It was confusing.

 

 

Because of the way I felt for him, I allowed it. It went on for three months and it always hurt me more in the end. After three months I finally cut him off. Asked him not to call or text and after maybe a year, we can open up communication again. But right now its too confusing.

[Kevin_D]

You know what's sad? After reading a lot of threads on LS and random articles on the Internet, I've been able to predict my ex gf's next move. I was certain that she would throw me breadcrums after a few weeks of NC, I was certain that she would be upset when I kept igoring her and I was certain that she would finally start ignoring me back.

 

I expect silence from her for the next months. Then maybe an email in April/May.

[Juha]

You know what's sad? After reading a lot of threads on LS and random articles on the Internet, I've been able to predict my ex gf's next move. I was certain that she would throw me breadcrums after a few weeks of NC, I was certain that she would be upset when I kept igoring her and I was certain that she would finally start ignoring me back.

 

I expect silence from her for the next months. Then maybe an email in April/May.

 

I went NC right away and she got in touch after a month and I answered like and idiot and also through December the handful of times she got in touch.

 

Should of not responded, now has been 3+ weeks of NC and seems like she is doing NC also. I have never initiated, she has. Assume that me responding helped her move on and she won't be in touch again.

[Geekinthepinkx]

I hope this thread is still active..

HOMEBREW you explained every detailed what my ex boyfriend is going through. We've been together for 4 years and he just bailed on our relationship, he kept on blaming me as why we broke up because i once chatted an ex of mine, that was 2009! Nonsense excuse. And he got a new gf after 3 days and she is the total opposite of me and what he like to a girl. The girl is completely a bad influence... i also asked him why her, he said he doesn't know. Before a month of our break up he was planning to get us wed before the year end. I didn't blame him or physically harm him when we confronted each other about the brake up i begged him to come back, i even gave him a video of 100 reasons why i love him.. After i showed him the video.. he keep on saying to me that i should give him time, he cant just break up with his new gf, he's not serious about her, not into her, he wished he never courted her. Give him time but just move on but remain as friends.. He's giving me mixed signals. And its now been 3 months since we broke up i haven't contact him.

[Geekinthepinkx]

I hope this thread is still active..

HOMEBREW you explained every detailed what my ex boyfriend is going through. We've been together for 4 years and he just bailed on our relationship, he kept on blaming me as why we broke up because i once chatted an ex of mine, that was 2009! Nonsense excuse. And he got a new gf after 3 days and she is the total opposite of me and what he like to a girl. The girl is completely a bad influence... i also asked him why her, he said he doesn't know. Before a month of our break up he was planning to get us wed before the year end. I didn't blame him or physically harm him when we confronted each other about the breakup i begged him to come back, txt gnat, i even gave him a video of 100 reasons why i love him.. After i showed him the video.. he keep on saying to me that i should give him time, he cant just break up with his new gf, he's not serious about her, not into her, he wished he never courted her. Give him time but just move on but remain as friends.. He's giving me mixed signals. And its now been 3 months since we broke up i haven't contact him.

 

 

When i was doing the NC he keep on asking about me from his mom because we talked alot, he asked if i went to there house, if I'm still texting her, when his mom said everytime i brought up as a topic, she kept on changing the conversation or not even responding, and my ex would ask why repeatedly to his mom.

[SadSan]

I hope this thread is still active..

HOMEBREW you explained every detailed what my ex boyfriend is going through. We've been together for 4 years and he just bailed on our relationship, he kept on blaming me as why we broke up because i once chatted an ex of mine, that was 2009! Nonsense excuse. And he got a new gf after 3 days and she is the total opposite of me and what he like to a girl. The girl is completely a bad influence... i also asked him why her, he said he doesn't know. Before a month of our break up he was planning to get us wed before the year end. I didn't blame him or physically harm him when we confronted each other about the breakup i begged him to come back, txt gnat, i even gave him a video of 100 reasons why i love him.. After i showed him the video.. he keep on saying to me that i should give him time, he cant just break up with his new gf, he's not serious about her, not into her, he wished he never courted her. Give him time but just move on but remain as friends.. He's giving me mixed signals. And its now been 3 months since we broke up i haven't contact him.

 

 

When i was doing the NC he keep on asking about me from his mom because we talked alot, he asked if i went to there house, if I'm still texting her, when his mom said everytime i brought up as a topic, she kept on changing the conversation or not even responding, and my ex would ask why repeatedly to his mom.

 

Hi

 

my story is similiar, my gf borke up with me out of the blue saying she simply lost the love towards me, we were 4 years together. i am so fighting with myself, its been only 2 weeks without her. im doing no contact.

 

She dated a guy right after we ended. i think she is replacing me with another guy who is total jerk and she knows that. she is rebounding i think and just trying to forget me by doing so. I am relying on her to cm bk to me on her own. I hope she comes soon its hard without her. People say it takes them 3 months or more to get over it. Some say a year. What about you ? When did you breakup ? How long you doing no contact for, any advise for me ?

[Geekinthepinkx]

Hi

 

my story is similiar, my gf borke up with me out of the blue saying she simply lost the love towards me, we were 4 years together. i am so fighting with myself, its been only 2 weeks without her. im doing no contact.

 

She dated a guy right after we ended. i think she is replacing me with another guy who is total jerk and she knows that. she is rebounding i think and just trying to forget me by doing so. I am relying on her to cm bk to me on her own. I hope she comes soon its hard without her. People say it takes them 3 months or more to get over it. Some say a year. What about you ? When did you breakup ? How long you doing no contact for, any advise for me ?

 

 

Sorry to hear that, it sucks but I understand where you are coming from.

 

But think of it like this. The more you rely on her the more desperate you become and desperation is the opposite of attraction for women.

Its been 3 months since we broke up, i did the NC for a month and now im considering doing it to his mom like i suddenly drop off from the face of the earth haha.. Hes been dating this worst person ever shes the definition of worst gf he snoops arounds my ex things, basically no privacy. I would like you to read a guide that helps me alot i hope you too will understand if your exgf is rebounding Is Your Ex In A Rebound Relationship? How Long It Will Last- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

[hea]

I have just posted a question and it fits right in with this. He split up with me twice, totally out of the blue, and couldn't give a proper reason for either time! Genius.