SoThatHappened Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 she might think she can find someone who is perfect in everything. Most people think that. Most people are wrong. Good luck finding someone perfect in everything. They don't exist!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lonewalker Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 I just have to post this ending movie scene from a chinese Film (1994) in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlocks Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 if your ex girlfriend broke up because of G.I.G.S, do you imply no-contact on her? Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 if your ex girlfriend broke up because of G.I.G.S, do you imply no-contact on her? Yes.... it doenst mater, she dumped you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlocks Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 True... It is helping loads. Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Add me to the list of folks who don't really believe in this "GIGS". A more accurate description is: "I am too young, inexperienced and self-absorbed to appreciate what I have, and to value people for the love they offer me. I'd rather be alone or with someone new than to see the same face all the time. You're boring. Bye." 3 Link to post Share on other sites
nellbell86 Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I've done all kinds of research and believe my ex certainly displays alot of Narcissistic traits, but also definitelt believe it was a case of G.I.G.S that caused him to leave me. Not so much to go and see what else is out there, but to go back to his pot smoking, lazy single life, as if he thought going back to that would be better than working things out with me. Maybe he was scared of growing up, actually being in a decent adult relationship that was moving toward long term, and decided he didn't want/wasnt ready for doing 'adult' things like actually getting his license, working toward a better, stable job, giving up or at least cutting down the pot, and moving out of home. He left me and went straight back to his old ways, but that's not going to last forever, he's almost 21, he does need to grow up sometime, he can't sleep all day, work 2 shifts a week at the pub, live at home, getting stoned all day and relying on his mate or his mum to drive him around forever. Maybe call me stupid or naive but I do believe one day he'll wake up and realise what a good, supportive, positive influence I was in his life (anyone that knew us couldn't get over what a better, happier, improved person he was when we were together) and maybe he'll regret letting me go. But I can't dwell on that or worry about him anymore, already wasted the last 3 months post BU thinking about it, it's his choice right now to lower his standards of life, then so be it. I can't save him. Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 To everyone, according to these people (who have PHD's and Masters in Psychology) https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dating-decisions/201406/the-truth-about-rebound-relationships https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201405/can-rebound-relationship-be-the-real-deal Don't hold out on your ex's coming back. There is a very very high chance they never will. Link to post Share on other sites
Protec Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 Add me to the list of folks who don't really believe in this "GIGS". A more accurate description is: "I am too young, inexperienced and self-absorbed to appreciate what I have, and to value people for the love they offer me. I'd rather be alone or with someone new than to see the same face all the time. You're boring. Bye." You nailed it! Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlocks Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 when you go NC, do you have to block all your exes family members as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlocks Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 And mutual friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Gingerlocks Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Anybody? :/ Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 when you go NC, do you have to block all your exes family members as well? If you feel like looking at your ex's family member's fb, I would block but I don't think they'll text you or call you. Link to post Share on other sites
nicololi Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 (edited) Short story: Dating 3.5 years in June. He graduates Dec. - gets full time job working 55 hrs/wk in almost pure isolation. I graduate May - I want to move in together after I graduate or within the next few months. He says no because he is Catholic. I say if he wants to break up we should do it before I graduate and not after when we are settled and ready to move forward. We sleep together and he has stayed with me overnight for 3 years so it makes sense to live together. I'm devastated. I stay in the area for him (I wanted to move to a dif area by my family and he said no). I get a bad job - I'm stressed. I move into a 1br apartment. He still lives with roommates. June he says he wants to propose this fall. End of June he says he wants kids in the future and he can't wait to propose. We have a HUGE fight about abortions (nothing to do with us at all) but it was big. I thought we made up the next day... July - we were going to look at rings but ran out of time one day. He moves into a horrible apartment 15 minutes away - I get upset and wonder why he is doing this. He says he won't live with me until we are married again. He says he is very sad - won't say why. Says he isn''t eating or taking care of himself (I didn't think so or notice?). He doesn't know why he is sad and didn't say at first he wanted to be together - I said we can get thru this and he agress. I get super worried and stop being upset about him living alone. He says he is committed. I help him find a new place. We both pay $600+/month to live alone. Before that, even when I was mad I helped him pack and move into bad place. I drop the sadness of my life - help him pack and move him again. I thought it was all better. He said he felt a bit better. I do notice little signs looking back that it wasn't this last month but even when I did bring up a problem or asked if he was okay he said he was. Our sex had slowed down because before I wasn't initiating it or wanting it as much because he wouldn't live with me for religious reasons - it was all contradicting what he said. I felt used. I asked about that because I thought it was all better and he wasn't initiating and he says it's not me. All he could say was it wasn't me and tried to "cheer me up". Week before breakup - his bday = fun but he says he doesn't want to turn 24 because it's "too old" Week of breakup - he is sick and I take care of him. Thursday he stays at my house all day and hangs out with my cat and the cat we adopted together in May. Friday night he offers to make me supper, takes out the garbage, we watch a movie and cuddle. We had been saying I love you this entire time and many times he would say it first. Saturday he comes back from work and barges into my house and said he's been faking loving me, he loves me but isn't in love with me and never will love me again and has no passion or spark in his heart for me. He says he has no idea why and everything I brought up he just said he doesn't know and that I'm a great beautiful person but he can't love me as much as I love him. I beg - it's over. I beg 2 days later - still over. 2 days later I say I don't want him but ask questions again and he doesn't know. He didn't tell anyone he was thinking about breaking up since March (I gave him a way out before). Everyone is shocked - his parents cry. He is done talking. I've been in NC for a week and a few days. I'm so lost...GIGS or all his built up stress from fights? More details: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/551925-boyfriend-24-3-5-years-broke-up-23-f-he-said-no-more-spark#post6583944 Edited October 7, 2015 by nicololi Link to post Share on other sites
Ace799 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 I feel this is what my ex is going through right now really, yes I know she broke up with me because of my actions but it kind of does explain a lot and things make a lot more sense after reading through this forum. 1. We recently got a place together and she was kind of acting off and distant for some of it and before that week happened we was in a really good place (and the day before the break). 2. The change in universities we went through (which is very similar to 1.) 3. Today after looking through her social media (Facebook and Twitter) She seemed happy in her posts which don't see how she can be happy (that hurt a lot today) with the brilliant relationship we had and how it just ended. (classic GIGS guessing?) 4. She's around the age mentioned (Turned 20 2 weeks ago) 5. She said if I get help then we might be able to start again yet in the past week she has said she can't do it anymore (wishy-washness part which is mentioned) Find it also makes sense that she could be going through GIGS and nothing else has made more sense today since discovered this. Also feel this is where could be getting my false hope from. Any views and opinions would be nice honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Why is wanting to experience life more "grass is greener syndrome" ? To me, grass is greener is thinking that there are better partners out there Link to post Share on other sites
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