belin Posted August 1, 2000 Share Posted August 1, 2000 I had already wrote my problem bevore i have been since 3 years with my bf. a 2 month ago we had a break up and after 2 weeks he spend his time with the woman. after he came he felt very sorry and apologize for it.but the last 2 wekks he had a e-mail and phone contact with a woman and i told him to stop wenn he wants that we came together. At that time he couldn't stop but now he stopped calling her or calling her back wenn she lives a message. and she stopped calling him to and now he is taking care of me but i can't thrust him and i can't forget all this things happened to because i went through the hell. please tell me how should i behave now to tell you the truth i love him and he is realy kind to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Rogue Posted August 1, 2000 Share Posted August 1, 2000 I am very sorry you have been so badly hurt.I wish things like this never happened to anybody,but they happen everyday.I think you are right in feeling hurt,and that you are right in not trusting your boyfriend. From what you said,I don't know if he will always take care of you.Maybe if things between you are always go well,but everyone has arguments and it is only a matter of time until he will betray you again. If things worked out with the other woman,then he wouldn't have gone back to you.This is something you have to remember.If he gets a chance to make it work with her,will he still stay with you? Or maybe if he has a chance with someone else? I don't know.You will just get hurt all over again,I think. I think you should leave him.Don't be afraid to be alone,or to not be in a relationship.It's better to be alone than to be with someone you don't trust.That's the way I see it anyway.And if you break it up with him,you will eventually find someone who will care about you,for real. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted August 1, 2000 Share Posted August 1, 2000 Belin, I'll use the words you wrote... i can't forget all this things happened to because i went through the hell. The love and kindness he occasionally shows you is not worth living in hell. I'm guessing that there was a lot of deception involved in the relationship with the other woman. Mistakes can be forgiven; deception cannot. A relationship based on deception is no relationship at all. Did your boyfriend seem repentant of the relationship with the other woman? Has he shown you he understands and cares about the hurt you felt? His reaction shows his care (or lack of) for you. Be strong now and draw on the strength of your family and friends. They'll be honest enough to remind you of the stupid, hurtful things your boyfriend has done to you. With their borrowed strength, set limits on what you will and will not accept from your boyfriend and decide if you want to give him a second chance or if you want to get out of hell. Be strong. Demand honesty from him; be honest with yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
belin Posted August 1, 2000 Share Posted August 1, 2000 thankyou rogue, and taressa i know you are telling me the truth but the argument he had is he is telling me wenn he wents to her we had already break up the realationship so he thinks he didn't betray me. he said it was over between us. And he told me he didn't have sex with her but he spend the night with her and had a very pleasure night. He told me after break he hehlt alone he was so confused, so he was looking for somebody whom he can talk. i Realy don't know Link to post Share on other sites
sugar Posted August 2, 2000 Share Posted August 2, 2000 are you making excuses for him? i know you are telling me the truth but the argument he had is he is telling me wenn he wents to her we had already break up the realationship so he thinks he didn't betray me. he said it was over between us. And he told me he didn't have sex with her but he spend the night with her and had a very pleasure night. He told me after break he hehlt alone he was so confused, so he was looking for somebody whom he can talk. i Realy don't know Link to post Share on other sites
belin Posted August 2, 2000 Share Posted August 2, 2000 what do you mean i am excauseing him. i'm not i'm telling you the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
wilma Posted August 2, 2000 Share Posted August 2, 2000 what i meant is that it sounds like you want someone to tell you it is o.k. what he did, when they do, it sounds like you are defending him and wanting to see that maybe he did cheat on you or maybe he will do it again. why would he spend the night with some other woman just cause he wanted company? to me that is a lame excuse for his behavior. how long were you to broke up before this happened anyway? i don't care but if you really love someone, you don't spend the night with someone else until you are over them. is he that desperate for a woman, or to not be alone? can't he handle being alone? does he have other friends he could of went to? i understand that you love him and that you want to defend him, and maybe we are making more out of it then there is, only you really know if you can trust him again. only you can decide if he is worth it. why do you need to be taken care of? you said he takes care of you. in what way? do you know what codependence is? if not, look it up on the internet and read about it see if any of it pertains to you. how long have you two been together? i wish you luck. i am happy you love him so much that you will give him another chance, i'd just hate to see you get hurt again, you sound like such a sweet person. i wish you the best. sugar what do you mean i am excauseing him. i'm not i'm telling you the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
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