When somebody says "lower your standards" or "stay in your league"

[Yamaha]

The overly shallow visual whackos have infiltrated this thread, geez

 

My observation as well.

Leave them to it as only they can understand all of the "4's with 4's and 9's with 9's" BS.

[Leigh 87]

I have little experince when it comes to attracting men, because I have been out of the social loop for some time, but I have learnt that it is a matter of taste.

 

For example, that guy at the gym who would be considered a 10 to most women, found me to be attractive. Yet, some average and below average guys have found me unnatractive or average.

 

However, as I stated previously, leagues are not absolute; it is not tangiable, because you will never be able to accurately say what a 7 is, and match a 7 to a 7.

 

More likely, I think a women with a good body, slim, who has a decent face ( but not stuning), will attract SOME guys who are " on th ehigher end of the league" spectrum.

 

Although I am not, and not all girls who have attracted a hot guy, are : universally" hot. I am not what is considered " sterotyped" gorgeous. HOwever, I have a good body and I have character in my face, so SOME good looking men warm to it.

 

So what you look like does determine the initial interest of men. That is the visual component to the equation, however; when it comes to relationships, then yes, a 5 ' 2, 140 lbs women can attract a good looking man, if they get to know each other first, and fall for one another.

 

However, the majority of very, very good looking men, will pick the women with great perosdnalities, out of the selection that happen to be good looking.

 

What looks good is subjective, howevever, far more women of a certain " look", will be viewed as more attractive to the majority of men. There ARE certain criteria that makes a man NOTICE and GET ITNERSTED in a women, that are to do with LOOKS.

 

Of course, the chemistry has to be there. They have to feel good around one another. Otherwise, there are other good looking women for the man to pick from. If he is good looking.

 

See, it really is true, how a man has to be very confident, and haver a good career or be wel travelled or well spoken and just be general awsome in some way, if he is to land a very attractive women, when HE IS NOT attractive himself.

[Green]

Telling somebody to "lower their standards" or "stay in your league" is really crappy dating advice.

 

A woman who is searching for a guy who doesn't exist (a prince of some country who is rich and exactly 6'2 who enjoys riding his unicorn ect.) needs to be told to be REALISTIC and to not run away from guys she is ATTRACTED to ... You don't tell her to SETTLE

 

And Somedude needs to GROW UP. I say that with LOVE because your mind set of girls have it easier is just POINTLESS. You're a guy so you should know guys have it BETTER from OUR perspective. Sure we have to work harder to START a relationship but once its started then most of the stress is on the woman (Will he ask me to marry him, if he gets me pregnant will he wilingly help pay for this kid that I will be more attached to emotionaly if he ends up being a dead beat who doesn't care, will he beat me... Heck unless a grown man is in prison he has little chance of being RAPED so we have it pretty good.

 

Never settle men. The more attracted you are to a girl the more fuel she will add to your fire and the more likely you will be to get her. Obviously if you are some loser you will find yourself able to be 100% erect and attracted to girls I probably wouldn't shake a stick at. The point remains only chase/try to date women you are 100% attracted to what ever that means.

 

You start trying to date women who don't really get you that excited but you chase because you say to urself why she's not great looking so she will probably date me.. (WRONG) bad idea

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

 

Actually, the body I am describing to be the most sought after, by the highest majority of men, is THIS: a women who is not too short, and has long, slender limbs, is not a large build, and has a NARROW waist that contrasts with her WIDE hips ( hour glass), and has the lonbg slender limbs hanging off of the hour glass.

 

You frequently speak for all men's taste in women's bodies. So far, the only man I can recall (there may be others that I've forgotten) who is right in line with you and participates here is Green. He does not represent "the highest majority of men" ... from what I've read, in any area of gender relations.

 

Bottom line, Leigh - YOU like that body type for women and having YOUR body as close as humanly possible to that type seems to be the absolute number one priority in your life. I don't think that's healthy, but it's your life.

 

In reality, you will find just as many men lusting after Beyonce, Sophia Loren or Kim Kardashian as for your "thinspo" ethereal wraiths with the breast enhancements.

[Kamille]

Lowering standards is generally better advice for women- especially the ones with unrealistic standards and diminishing attractiveness.

 

So it wouldn't bother you to know your gf ìs accepting to "settle" for you, rather than madly in love and crazy attracted to you?

 

People of both genders should have realistic expectations. They should also pay as much attention to compatibility as they do to attractiveness. Once you start focusing on only allowing healthy, honest and genuine relationships in your life, questions of "settling" and "leagues" become irrelevant.

[Akherousia]

So it wouldn't bother you to know your gf ìs accepting to "settle" for you, rather than madly in love and crazy attracted to you?

 

People of both genders should have realistic expectations. They should also pay as much attention to compatibility as they do to attractiveness. Once you start focusing on only allowing healthy, honest and genuine relationships in your life, questions of "settling" and "leagues" become irrelevant.

 

 

Let's say that you have two couples; one very good looking and the other average.

 

Now let's put one part of the average couple next to the very good looking couple. Do you think that the average man or woman can be insanely attracted to the average partner when true beauty has been witnessed?

 

It doesn't make any sense for an average woman to be insanely into a guy that isn't much to look at. I fail to understand how his intelligence can make me all hot and bothered or how his "kindness" or his "compassion for little children" can make him attractive. Wouldn't the Pope be chased by women all the time if "good qualities" were capable of making a woman all worked up over a guy?

 

I honestly have never seen an attractive guy with an average woman -unless we're talking about real money - but many people in LS seem to have reached the "looks don't matter, money don't matter, breasts don't matter, height doesn't matter" land.

 

I'm glad for them .

[northern_sky]

I honestly have never seen an attractive guy with an average woman -unless we're talking about real money - but many people in LS seem to have reached the "looks don't matter, money don't matter, breasts don't matter, height doesn't matter" land.

 

I'm glad for them .

 

Wow. You've got to be joking. It may not be the norm, but I've seen countless examples.

 

Intelligence can INDEED make some women hot and bothered. Just because it doesn't for you, doesn't mean you can speak for all women.

[Mad Max]

Attractive man/average woman couples do exist. My parents- prime example.

[SteveC80]

Let's say that you have two couples; one very good looking and the other average.

 

Now let's put one part of the average couple next to the very good looking couple. Do you think that the average man or woman can be insanely attracted to the average partner when true beauty has been witnessed?

 

It doesn't make any sense for an average woman to be insanely into a guy that isn't much to look at. I fail to understand how his intelligence can make me all hot and bothered or how his "kindness" or his "compassion for little children" can make him attractive. Wouldn't the Pope be chased by women all the time if "good qualities" were capable of making a woman all worked up over a guy?

 

I honestly have never seen an attractive guy with an average woman -unless we're talking about real money - but many people in LS seem to have reached the "looks don't matter, money don't matter, breasts don't matter, height doesn't matter" land.

 

I'm glad for them .

 

I agree the unattractive couples know they arent with a great looking person but it was the best they could get with their looks

 

Not saying ugly or average people dont love each other of course they do im saying the "lust" factor isnt on the same level as if they were with a extremely hot person with the same qualities as their partner but just much better looking

[brainygirl]

Let's say that you have two couples; one very good looking and the other average.

 

Now let's put one part of the average couple next to the very good looking couple. Do you think that the average man or woman can be insanely attracted to the average partner when true beauty has been witnessed?

 

It doesn't make any sense for an average woman to be insanely into a guy that isn't much to look at. I fail to understand how his intelligence can make me all hot and bothered or how his "kindness" or his "compassion for little children" can make him attractive. Wouldn't the Pope be chased by women all the time if "good qualities" were capable of making a woman all worked up over a guy?

 

I honestly have never seen an attractive guy with an average woman -unless we're talking about real money - but many people in LS seem to have reached the "looks don't matter, money don't matter, breasts don't matter, height doesn't matter" land.

 

I'm glad for them .

 

I suspect that they are attracted to the whole person, not the few millimeters closest to the surface . . . . I'm actually sad you can't understand that there is more to attraction than visual stimulation.

 

pretty face, nice body, bad breath or bad attitude or tendency to lie and condescend, not an attractive person.

 

Plain face, so/so body, great attitude, caring personality, sense of humor, that's an attractive person.

[brainygirl]

I agree the unattractive couples know they arent with a great looking person but it was the best they could get with their looks

 

Not saying ugly or average people dont love each other of course they do im saying the "lust" factor isnt on the same level as if they were with a extremely hot person with the same qualities as their partner but just much better looking

 

Spoken from personal experience? Are you a plain man in a relationship with a plain woman?

 

If not, how the heck do you know what goes on in someone else's relationship?

[SteveC80]

Spoken from personal experience? Are you a plain man in a relationship with a plain woman?

 

If not, how the heck do you know what goes on in someone else's relationship?

 

Its human nature maybe im not a plain man who had to date plain women all my life but i have plain friends male and female who are with plain partners and love them dearly but still lust after hot human beings

[brainygirl]

Its human nature maybe im not a plain man who had to date plain women all my life but i have plain friends male and female who are with plain partners and love them dearly but still lust after hot human beings

 

Looking at someone like a movie star and saying "he's hot" is different than spending the entire relationship wishing your partner would wear a mask in bed.

[SteveC80]

Looking at someone like a movie star and saying "he's hot" is different than spending the entire relationship wishing your partner would wear a mask in bed.

 

My point is the "lust" factor with said person would be higher then the person therye with that's all

[Cracker Jack]

Its human nature maybe im not a plain man who had to date plain women all my life but i have plain friends male and female who are with plain partners and love them dearly but still lust after hot human beings

 

Dude, you make it seem like this is just a "plain" thing when it's not.

 

I've seen plenty of "attractive" couples lust after and pursue other people outside of their relationship; sometimes getting with someone who's not even as attractive as their partner, but the person still obviously turned them on somehow. It's something that happens every day, whether you're plain or not.

 

This entire "hot human being" thing is subjective, anyway. You're too narrow-minded sometimes.

[Akherousia]

I suspect that they are attracted to the whole person, not the few millimeters closest to the surface . . . . I'm actually sad you can't understand that there is more to attraction than visual stimulation.

 

pretty face, nice body, bad breath or bad attitude or tendency to lie and condescend, not an attractive person.

 

Plain face, so/so body, great attitude, caring personality, sense of humor, that's an attractive person.

 

 

Don't be sad. I have my own house, job, I'm childless and I'm having fun with guys that are attractive and too young to worry about "relationships".

 

 

In bold: maybe for a relationship. But I have no use for them and I don't advice any woman in her early 20's to waste time with something(relationships) that make no sense. That is, if you are not interested in having children. But even then, you really don't need a man or a relationship for that.

[SteveC80]

Dude, you make it seem like this is just a "plain" thing when it's not.

 

I've seen plenty of "attractive" couples lust after and pursue other people outside of their relationship; sometimes getting with someone who's not even as attractive as their partner, but the person still obviously turned them on somehow. It's something that happens every day, whether you're plain or not.

 

This entire "hot human being" thing is subjective, anyway. You're too narrow-minded sometimes.

 

You can hide your head in the sand all you want and yeah theyres exceptions to every rule but some people are just more attratcive then others to the opposite sex and brign out animalsitic feelings others dont

 

How many average couples stop having allot of sex after a few years into a relationship/ marriage, they get comfortable become even less attractive and the women has what she wants in the ring and security and stops usign sex for what she wants and the man looks elsewhere

 

Not saying good looking couples dont go through this at all but not nearly as much

[Green]

A lot of guys are attracted to ugly women. It doesn't make them losers. Billy Clint had a thing for ugly women and he wasn't exactly a loser.

 

Other than that I agree with a lot of what you said. Lowering standards is generally better advice for women- especially the ones with unrealistic standards and diminishing attractiveness. Going for unattractive women wouldn't work as well for men. Unattractive women seem to be just as likely to reject men as more attractive women are.

 

I just sugest that men have an inner dialogue that the only go after women they are 100% attracted to regaurdless of what society thinks. Some men look at a woman and say boy she aint that great that means I'll have a chance unlike the woman I am 100% attracted to... (this is wrong)

 

I date women I am 100% attracted to and could care less what other people think.

 

You frequently speak for all men's taste in women's bodies. So far, the only man I can recall (there may be others that I've forgotten) who is right in line with you and participates here is Green. He does not represent "the highest majority of men" ... from what I've read, in any area of gender relations.

 

Bottom line, Leigh - YOU like that body type for women and having YOUR body as close as humanly possible to that type seems to be the absolute number one priority in your life. I don't think that's healthy, but it's your life.

 

In reality, you will find just as many men lusting after Beyonce, Sophia Loren or Kim Kardashian as for your "thinspo" ethereal wraiths with the breast enhancements.

 

The truth is slender women look better for comercial purposes thats why they are used in everything from magazine adds too tv comercials and runways. The clothing, cosmetic, ect. companies spend big money to sell their products they really don't give a damn about anything else. If plum 140lb 5'2 women is what sold stuff then thats what you would see every where... but they don't and you don't see that everywhere.

 

Yes plenty of men lust over beyonce and women much much fatter. And yes plenty of men are also have foot fetish's... that hardly makes it the majority. And beyonce is hardly a standard example of beauty. Really one of the reasons she is popular is because women much fatter then beyonce and kim kardashian like to pertend that is what they look like (they don't but they pertend)

 

So it wouldn't bother you to know your gf ìs accepting to "settle" for you, rather than madly in love and crazy attracted to you?

 

People of both genders should have realistic expectations. They should also pay as much attention to compatibility as they do to attractiveness. Once you start focusing on only allowing healthy, honest and genuine relationships in your life, questions of "settling" and "leagues" become irrelevant.

 

I think bottom line telling some one of either gender to settle is ridiculouse. But women more often then not seem to have the problem being REALISTIC. They often talk themselves out of being happy with a guy they would be perfectly attracted to just because he is a mechanic for a living or watches to much football or something. Men on the other hand don't normaly worry about how tall or what a girl does for a living (unless its scandelous) so when you tell a man to settle it can only mean becoming attracted to women you currently don't find physicaly apealing (FAT)

 

I just recomend people be themselves and for the men they need to TRY with women they are 100% attracted to because they will have more luck then with some women they think looks bad but that they will have chance with.

 

Let's say that you have two couples; one very good looking and the other average.

 

Now let's put one part of the average couple next to the very good looking couple. Do you think that the average man or woman can be insanely attracted to the average partner when true beauty has been witnessed?

 

It doesn't make any sense for an average woman to be insanely into a guy that isn't much to look at. I fail to understand how his intelligence can make me all hot and bothered or how his "kindness" or his "compassion for little children" can make him attractive. Wouldn't the Pope be chased by women all the time if "good qualities" were capable of making a woman all worked up over a guy?

 

I honestly have never seen an attractive guy with an average woman -unless we're talking about real money - but many people in LS seem to have reached the "looks don't matter, money don't matter, breasts don't matter, height doesn't matter" land.

 

I'm glad for them .

 

I see attractive guys with ugly women all the time. A lot of guys have low self esteem and are so afraid of rejection they just enjoy chasing faties.

 

Really if that person is happy who cares. Also once you get to know some one they become more then their measurements.

 

Wow. You've got to be joking. It may not be the norm, but I've seen countless examples.

 

Intelligence can INDEED make some women hot and bothered. Just because it doesn't for you, doesn't mean you can speak for all women.

 

I'd say women have a different set of standards. Women truely do enjoy things like a tall man who looks strong and has good hair ect... but A bald nerdy looking guy who is a ROCK STAR for instance can easily get more women just for being famouse. Obviously an ok looking guy who is cool and a sucessful doctor can beat many guys out ect.

 

Attractive man/average woman couples do exist. My parents- prime example.

 

You're mom must really love you

[brainygirl]

LS: Where the sick and mentally ill come to compare notes on their messed up world views.

[Mad Max]

.You're mom must really love you

 

 

She does. My mom is the best. Of course I would never say anything like that to my parents, but it's obvious my dad is the better looking of the two.

[Akherousia]

LS: Where the sick and mentally ill come to compare notes on their messed up world views.

 

 

Cute bitterness. It must be something else, to watch attractive women get the men you want because they look good while you claim being attracted to intelligent men and putting forward more "qualities" you have. Still, how's that love life going?

[northern_sky]

Cute bitterness. It must be something else, to watch attractive women get the men you want because they look good while you claim being attracted to intelligent men and putting forward more "qualities" you have. Still, how's that love life going?

 

What is wrong with her being attracted to intelligent guys? Why can't you accept that some women find traits desirable that don't personally hold much sway for you?

[brainygirl]

Cute bitterness. It must be something else, to watch attractive women get the men you want because they look good while you claim being attracted to intelligent men and putting forward more "qualities" you have. Still, how's that love life going?

 

I was actually talking about qualities I find attractive.

 

As to my love life . . . . 1) that's none of your business and 2) It tends to go as well as I let it, but like many here, I have standards . . . . and would rather do without than do with an *******.

[SteveC80]

e

Cute bitterness. It must be something else, to watch attractive women get the men you want because they look good while you claim being attracted to intelligent men and putting forward more "qualities" you have. Still, how's that love life going?

 

These women that claim they dont like extremely good looking guys say it as a defense mechanism,they dont think these guys would give them a second look so theyre bitter and they also paint a picture in their head that every really good looking guy is a vain shallow empty jerk which makes it easier for thme to deal with not beign able to acquire one of the elite

 

if one of these guys showed interest in them and also had these other qualities these women would praise whatever God they worship that this happened

[brainygirl]

e

 

These women that claim they dont like extremely good looking guys say it as a defense mechanism,they dont think these guys would give them a second look so theyre bitter and they also paint a picture in their head that every really good looking guy is a vain shallow empty jerk which makes it easier for thme to deal with not beign able to acquire one of the elite

 

if one of these guys showed interest in them and also had these other qualities these women would praise whatever God they worship that this happened

 

I love how I'm "one of those women" now . . . .

 

So you wouldn't be thrilled if you met someone who you found to be attractive and had the qualities of your ideal mate?

 

I never said I didn't like attractive men, I just happen to think there is more to a person's attractiveness than how they look. . . . .

 

but hey, you go right ahead talking to yourself, its rather amusing for the rest of us to see you agree with yourself.