How long does their rebound relationship last?

[Fern]

I have no doubt that my Ex and the Skank he cheated on me with (and is currently bedding in the sheets we shared) are bound to come a cropper eventually. But how long do these things generally take to fizzle out though? I no longer feel like I'll DIE if they don't split up soon, but is there a rough estimate as to the average length of honeymoon period before two untrustworthy cheaters look at each other without the lust-goggles and think 'Uh-oh...'? It'd be nice to see it happen before I reach the stage of complete indifference to them. I'd get a kick out of that...

 

Anybody got any experience with this?

[durkadurka]

Who the hell knows.

[Andrew1984]

the best thing for you to do is not to care...

[durkadurka]

A follow up to what I just said is, a monkey swings from branch to branch. Whether that next branch is as good as the previous branch.. no one knows.

 

Who knows if she/he will swing back to you, or simply swing to another branch after that.

[skydiveaddict]

I agree with Andrew.. Don't concern yourself with it.

[Gt.ooh]

We CAN-not concern ourselves with these things..Only makes for a mental process that is not very nice to deal with.

 

In fact I find myself typing this with thoughts of her coming into town and meeting up with the EX who ended up visiting her back east, and going to a family dinner already without me as if I never existed...I have no idea just speculating therefore my point..

 

Im realizing this is only happening because I'm sitting alone watching TV with the wheels turning...I'm headed out pretty quick and those thoughts will hit the back burner.

 

Realize that you need to occupy yourself with something that will make you think, and in a positive way. Keep busy.

[Fern]

I know the aim is to get to the stage where I don't care. And I know that I DEFINITELY don't want that monkey swinging back here. I will NEVER go back to that relationship. Never.

 

I can't help wanting their relationship to fail though. *sigh*

It's not that I want them to be unhappy. I don't. I just don't want them to be happy with each other. ;-)

 

I'm not as angry as I was. But I saw him today. We didn't speak. We both pretended we hadn't seen each other. My heart pounded until I was sure he was gone. I still CARE. Not as much as I did, but still enough to be uncomfortable.

 

No contact really is the only thing that helps.

[Am4Real]

I know the aim is to get to the stage where I don't care. And I know that I DEFINITELY don't want that monkey swinging back here. I will NEVER go back to that relationship. Never.

 

I can't help wanting their relationship to fail though. *sigh*

It's not that I want them to be unhappy. I don't. I just don't want them to be happy with each other. ;-)

 

I'm not as angry as I was. But I saw him today. We didn't speak. We both pretended we hadn't seen each other. My heart pounded until I was sure he was gone. I still CARE. Not as much as I did, but still enough to be uncomfortable.

 

No contact really is the only thing that helps.

 

Fern,

 

First you’re being honest with yourself and of course telling us here on L.S. That in itself is a good move because often those who hide the challenges they confront with their inner feelings take eons to get over the many aspects of negative emotions.

 

Of course you want him to fail in this new relationship (or whatever it is).

 

That is normal so don’t worry or be ashamed about those feelings. However, dwelling or monitoring his situation will bring about much more heartache for you.

 

If he is rebounding it’s safe to say they will terminate in less than nine months according to many experts who have studied partners who stray and take on an a new interest before fully getting over their existing relationship (break up).

 

You should also be aware that he may have checked out of your relationship long ago and be over “you” for the most part, already, thus willfully and with excitement choosing to be with this person and making this new interest a non “rebound”.

 

It’s not what you want to hear of course and I mean not to drive any indifference into your situation, but the possibility of his desire for another is certainly plausible.

 

Because none of know his true intent you have only one choice. Remain in NO CONTACT as you have and fully concentrate on yourself. Eventually your revenge (sort-of-speak) will be your total happiness and believe me if he's rebounding it will make no consequence to you and your life once you’ve healed. It only does now because you’re still in pain and that is fully understandable.

 

Stay strong,

 

Am4Real

[melenkurion]

The responses here are helpful to me: I want to know exactly the same thing. But, it's a waste of my time, of course it is, if it goes wrong with the other guy, he isn't going to come back to me.

[Fern]

Thank you Am4real. Having a time frame on it - whether it's accurate or not in my situation - DOES help for some reason. :-D

 

Melenkurion - if he did come back to you (it happens), wouldn't you rather be completely over him and be able to tell him where to go? That's what we need to work on - getting over them so we can have a relationship with someone who understands what a proper, healthy, supportive love is like. You deserve better! He will leave destruction in his wake until he sorts his issues out. You can do better.

[melenkurion]

Melenkurion - if he did come back to you (it happens), wouldn't you rather be completely over him and be able to tell him where to go? That's what we need to work on - getting over them so we can have a relationship with someone who understands what a proper, healthy, supportive love is like. You deserve better! He will leave destruction in his wake until he sorts his issues out. You can do better.

 

Thanks Fern. At this moment in time, I wouldn't say I am completely over him, but I definitely do not want him back. That might be coming from anger, and I might pull back from that.

 

We can both do a hell of a lot better!

[ginastar]

fern , reading ur comments i know exactly how you feel. and i cannot wait til my ex and his rebound fall apart also , even though i dont want the ahole back.

have you dated any body else since?

[Fern]

fern , reading ur comments i know exactly how you feel. and i cannot wait til my ex and his rebound fall apart also , even though i dont want the ahole back.

have you dated any body else since?

 

Not really. I hooked up recently with a guy I took a class with about 8 years ago. Just so I could say my ex wasn't the last person I'd been with. But I changed my mind before it went anywhere. I was only using him as an ego-boost and it wasn't fair on him, he'd liked me for a long time. My ex always HATED him.

 

I'm not really ready to date yet, I don't think. It's not even 4 months yet. Though I'd love to meet someone to have a crush on. That would most definitely get my mind off the ex and his skank. I'm keeping my eyes peeled! What about you? Have you started dating yet? How long are the two of you split?