load of guilt

[nameyourpoison]

i have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. a few days ago i was at a party drinking and when everyone crashed some guy started trying to touch me and i let him at first and then i realized what i was doing and bolted up from the couch and made him stop.

 

i have never done anything like this before with any of my other boyfriends. i don't know what to do. i am afraid to tell him... i feel horrible about it and i know he would be hurt. is it ok not to tell him?

 

for anyone that has ever cheated on someone, do you eventually forget or do you always feel bad every time you're around the person you cheated on?

 

im sorry if these are dumb questions. i feel awful with myself.

 

thanks for reading

[befuddled11]

I guess this should be a really huge, clear lesson that you should go easy on the booze and don't put yourself into a situation where bad things can happen. If you've gotta drink, don't drink so much that something like "this" can even begin. If you'd been sober, or much less under the influence, surely you wouldn't have let the guy even get his hands anywhere near you, no?

 

Let this be a lesson. Learn from it. Don't drink so much at parties anymore. Be more in control. Likely no need to tell your boyfriend, just as long as you learn from this and promise yourself you'll be smarter next time, and in the future. Don't beat yourself up. Just learn from it.

 

You're very lucky this guy stopped what he was doing......there's some guys out there who would be quite forceful, or who'd intentionally try to get their way with a girl who was quite drunk.

[hypo_thermia]

You sound like a good person.

 

An older person, whom I respect a lot, once told me; guilt is self-inflicted, self-removed. If you keep beating yourself up over this (which is somewhat minor- I'll get to that later) you will come to believe that you are a horrible person which may lead to more and worse self-destructive behaivors (I get a hint from your screen-name that you have a wee bit of self-destruction in your nature?) and create a vicious cycle.

 

I work in a bar, I sometimes drink, occasionally to excess. I find that alcohol brings people down to their baser (is that a word??) senses. What feels good feels good and sometimes it takes the brain a minute to process things on an ethical or moral level. I guess my only advice would be- be careful- the last person who posted made some good points about alcohol and safety. I myself have been really lucky on a few occasions.

 

As far as confessing to your boyfriend- I don't know what to tell you. Its hard to say how things could go if he knew. I think you really want to be absolved (is that a word??) of your guilt- If I could give you that absolution I would!

 

Be kind and loving to yourself. ~ From: A fellow guilt monger

[Fofinha]

I would not tell. It will only cause you more bad than good. Basically nothing really happened. A guy started to touch you and because of the effect of the alcohol, it took you a few minutes to react and get away. No big deal. I would just try to forget about it, move on and in the future, avoid getting myself into a similar circomstance.