Open eyes for an Open mind

[Truthseeker-John]

.....

 

The best I can explain it is this way. If someone told you that you could have the most amazing relationship forever that you can have it, however you would NOT ever be able to have sex. They tell you to erase sex from your mind forever, never again and it's over. It's impossible to erase sex from your mind and not want to be pleasured. That is how strong this fetish is, It's like someone telling me to forget sex forever.

 

Of course my relationship would be more important, but the fetish is too and impossible to leave it behind.

Never say impossible because when you say that, you are programing your own mind and are making it impossible.

 

As I said previously; what we focus on being like, is what we become like.

 

When I was a young boy I had a thing about putting my sister's panties and dress on and it gave me a thrill but when I eventually found a girlfriend in my late teens, the obsession for waring girl's things disappeared.

 

If you want to stay as you are, you can do that but you are lonely in your present state and that is not good. You have had your fetish for a long time and it has become a part of you but I think it is possible to find the new you, where you can leave all that behind and make love to a real person. I hope so! It is difficult to find a real lover these days but if you think you have found her, give it a go... you never know, it might work!

 

 

 

It might not be a good idea to tell her about this, at least not until you have known each other for a while. It depends on what sort of person she is...

[Truthseeker-John]

Anyways, thank you for the advice, I have found what I wanted and I am pleased of the results. It's been nice talking to you all.

 

Take care.

BambooLand, like all of us you have a need to be loved but unless you find a very extraordinary person, you have to leave your fetish behind and I think that in time you can and will do it. Edited November 8, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[Truthseeker-John]

...

 

I am ok with my fetish, always have been, but no, not ok with how hard it makes a possible relationship almost impossible and in my 30's I feel so lonely and depressed that I remain alone with my fetish. So you are right, to a point. I'm ok with my fetish, but not the situation or "block" it has put on me getting into a relationship.

Listen: Your fetish is a substitute for being loved. Right? Think about it and go for the person you have 'fallen in love' with.

 

But unless she's into fetishes, don't tell her about it at first because it could put her off you before you start. When you have got to know each other very well, then you might want to tell her and hopefully she will respect your openness and honesty. By that time your feelings for her will be putting your fetish as a thing of the past. If that relationship doesn't work out (and I do hope it does), go find someone else. Because of our experiences in life, we change and I do hope you will find someone who really loves you.

Edited November 8, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[Truthseeker-John]

BambooLand, you know what you are? You are a lovely person that has a need to be loved and to love, like all of us on here.

[Truthseeker-John]

Originally Posted by josie54

If this isn't causing you pain, then you can live your life as it is. However, if you're trading a small amount of pleasure for a large amount of pain, it's time to seek out help.

That's an interesting utilitarian approach, Josie.

And you both have wisdom. Edited November 8, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[You Go Girl]

First, can't you start a relationship, including the sexual aspect, without your fetish being involved?

Let's say you and this woman you are interested in fall in love. What's to say that you won't have extraordinary sex without even involving the fetish?

Need it be involved? They could have to remain mutually exclusive.

But, it does have to be brought out in the open that you do this, if you ever expect a woman to sleep next to you while you are wearing diapers. Don't wait.

 

Secondly, this is affecting your life extremely. You have chosen the fetish over becoming involved with women. Didn't you say that you are 32 years old but have never had a relationship? I'd say the fetish is affecting your success in relationships extremely. It simply may not be worth it, and as difficult as that is to accept, you have a choice to make. You don't have to keep the fetish unless you insist upon doing so. If you insist, then accept that in yourself and realize it severely limits your relationship potential partners.

 

As for forming a relationship and THEN telling the woman about this fetish, I say no no. That's like forming a relationship and then telling the woman that you are bisexual and also have relationships with men. It's just as extreme. I suggest that if you insist on keeping the fetish, that you search for people within the fetish community. Bringing this information out into the open AFTER you have formed a relationship could be heartbreak for you both if she won't accept it. Some things have to come out in the open right away. Things like being bisexual, having herpes, extreme fetishes, that are going to be a significant factor to a relationship.

Don't set yourself up for heartbreak.

[BambooLand]

First, can't you start a relationship, including the sexual aspect, without your fetish being involved?

 

No I cannot. The fetish is part of me and nothing that I can forget about.

 

Let's say you and this woman you are interested in fall in love. What's to say that you won't have extraordinary sex without even involving the fetish?

 

I could have wicked sex without any mention of a diaper or the fetish and I know it would be great. Just that, I would like to explore my fetish with her once and a while in a sexual manner. It wouldn't be a "Everytime we have sex I'd have to wear a diaper" kind of thing.

 

Need it be involved?

 

Sometimes yes, but not all the time.

 

 

But, it does have to be brought out in the open that you do this, if you ever expect a woman to sleep next to you while you are wearing diapers. Don't wait.

 

I know it does. I'm not waiting a year into the relationship to tell her I do this. It wouldn't be fair to any of us and would be a waste of my time if she rejects me after a year or so merely because I mention the fetish. That would totally suck.

 

Secondly, this is affecting your life extremely. You have chosen the fetish over becoming involved with women.

 

No, the fetish is part of me like a gay man is gay. It's like telling a gay man to choose either being gay or a billionair.

 

Didn't you say that you are 32 years old but have never had a relationship?

 

Or sex.

 

I'd say the fetish is affecting your success in relationships extremely. It simply may not be worth it, and as difficult as that is to accept, you have a choice to make. You don't have to keep the fetish unless you insist upon doing so. If you insist, then accept that in yourself and realize it severely limits your relationship potential partners.

 

I wish I could choose to drop the fetish. Like I say so many many times before, it's not that easy and people do not undertand how powerful it is. It's something I can honestly say that I cannot 100% drop and forget about. It won't happen and I get tired of tellingpeople that. I just think it sucks that just because I like to slap a diaper on and be comfortable, I am "limited" or binded to "my kind" or "bondage types" or sex freakzoid people.

 

Despite all my qualities of being a damn successful guy, owning a kick-ass home and one of the rare ones that I know can and will be a loyal partner, I am "limited and chastized for a stupid little fetish that has been programmed into my brain by who the hell knows.

 

"OMG! he wears a diaper? and sleeps in them? ohhh dump him!. FREEEEK

[BambooLand]

I'm not looking fo ra "mommy" figure either or to have her "change me" or do any of that. I simply would want to wear the diaper when we spoon or watch a movie on the couch together, stuff like that.

 

I am actually very "manly" I am toned and have a nice hair style. I'm a bit shy and I'm not one of those "cheaters" I drink at parties, dance and have fun with friends. I am not that weird guy in the town that sits in the dark wearing diapers, looking at porn type of thing.

[BambooLand]

Thought this would be interesting to you. She is respected in the AB community and I exchange emails with her personally. She is engaged so no, not available lol.

 

BTW, she says Tyra Banks is a twit lol.

 

[Truthseeker-John]

...

BTW, she says Tyra Banks is a twit lol.

 

As I said before, I think that your fetish is related to the need to be loved. Edited November 11, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[Truthseeker-John]

Then (if it's going to work) Love has to be both ways. Go find someone to love and when you find the right person you will be OK.

Edited November 11, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[Truthseeker-John]

First, can't you start a relationship, including the sexual aspect, without your fetish being involved?

No I cannot. The fetish is part of me and nothing that I can forget about.

Every time you say that (and every time you do it), you are programing yourself and are reinforcing your fetish. Harmless enough if you want to be on your own but as you admit you are lonely and very few will accept you as a partner with your fetish. It is a substitute, you know that.

 

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here but try cuddling your pillow instead. When you get used to that, the next step would be to cuddle up to a woman! Or you could go for it and get involved with someone and your fetish will fade away... in my opinion you are holding on to this because that is what you have known when you could find something far better.

Edited November 11, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[TaraMaiden]

Truthseeker-John, I'm sorry, but you need to stop.

 

Your posts attempt to be unbiased, but in reality your prejudice against something a person holds fast to, is just as damaging as someone who comes right out and tells them they're a weirdo and need fixing.

BambooLand doesn't need "fixing". he doesn't want to end his fetish, change it, or hide it.

he doesn't think there is anything wrong with it, but knows that the perceptions of others will see it that way.

Why are you so hell-bent on trying to get him to end his fetish, when in fact, that's not the point of his posts, nor the request he's making?

You're just badgering him with your own insistence, and frankly, I really don't think it's either helpful or constructive.

he's happy with his fetish.

let him be.

For the record, BambooLand, I don't share your fetish, and don't understand it's attraction.....

But it wouldn't stop me dating you, and if I loved you, we'd find a way to make it work well for both of us, leaving you happy fulfilled and content - and me too.

 

I have a partner, so I guess dating's off.

But my point is - if I exist, other women like me exist as well.

[BambooLand]

Thank you, John. I know you are trying to help. Thanks, Tara for what you said. It helps.

 

Some may think this is silly, but it's my reality and being that relationships are tough, having a fetish like mine makes it tougher. It's hard to be a normal guy that really tries in life and feels as if I am a pretty dang good person, to be limited and looked at strangely, becaue of the lifestyle thing I have. It's an instant "downgrade" .

 

I do enjoy my thing and it needs to be in the relationshib, but I do not push this thing on others who don't want anything to do with it and most do not want to deal with it, because it's to "out there and differnt" It just sucks, because I am a good guy in my books and I am limited in my relationship status, because of my thing. Other qualitis do not seem to matter when you "break the news" It's an instant dealbreaker and it hurts a lot. I really do wish I could just get rid of it, but I can't. I'm sorry.

 

Thank yo uto all. I would stick around in this forum as I read many interesting things, but who wants to talk to a guy who is into "THAT" I'll be ok and again, thank you.

 

11/11/2010.

[Truthseeker-John]

Thank yo uto all. I would stick around in this forum as I read many interesting things, but who wants to talk to a guy who is into "THAT"....

I and others on here don't mind talking to you at all and we think you are a really good guy and we appreciate your honesty and openest about what you (and I) see as a problem with finding a partner.

 

Rather than being judgmental as Tara seems to think I am, I'm concerned because as you admit, your fetish greatly reduces your chances of finding a partner.

 

To be realistic, Tara who says she could accept it, she is a rare exception and if you could find someone who shares (or at least understands) your fetish that would be great but it is difficult enough finding someone as it is.

 

I think you should try to get involved with the woman you like - who knows, fetish or not, it might work out and your fetish might be replaced by something better.

John

Edited November 13, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[BambooLand]

I think you should try to get involved with the woman you like - who knows, fetish or not, it might work out and your fetish might be replaced by something better.

John

 

I see a lot of truth in that statement, John.

 

I was thinking this afternoon that I could actually fade the fetish away if I could get into a meaningful relationship, but it won't be something I could promise. I just do not like that I would have to "settle" for a like minded person or some sort of sexually wild type, hence why this fetish is such a burden in the relationship aspect.

 

I can say that if in a relationship, I guess I could try and forget the fetish, a relationship could help with that like you say.

 

Thankyou, John.

[Truthseeker-John]

Thank-you Bambooland (I don't know your first name), I hope it works out for you.

[Truthseeker-John]

God I wish I was younger! Some very attractive girls on the following Youtube:

 

"All you need is love" and some might think it frivolous but there's a lot of meaning in the words of that song.

Edited November 14, 2010 by Truthseeker-John

[BambooLand]

I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have decided to give it a try and at least go one month without engaging into anything with my fetish. I think it's time to drop it and make an attempt to do so. I believe my life wil be lots less stressful and painful if this fetish is gone, but I cannot promise that I will totally honor my goal.

 

Thank you everyone for not ripping me apart and taking time to have an open mind about a strange thing like this. In reality offline no one here realizes just how I have felt for a long time due to this and I appreciate the advice given. It truly helped!

 

This is a great website with great people. Thank you.

Andrew.

[Truthseeker-John]

I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have decided to give it a try and at least go one month without engaging into anything with my fetish. I think it's time to drop it and make an attempt to do so. I believe my life will be lots less stressful and painful if this fetish is gone, but I cannot promise that I will totally honor my goal.

Don't be too hard on yourself if you fail a few times but I think you can succeed and I hope you find a wonderful woman to keep you company and to make love with.

 

Thank you everyone for not ripping me apart and taking time to have an open mind about a strange thing like this. In reality offline no one here realizes just how I have felt for a long time due to this and I appreciate the advice given. It truly helped!

Why would the good people on LoveShack want to rip you apart?

 

This is a great website with great people. Thank you.

Andrew

Yes this website has some really good people (including yourself) and that's why I joined.

 

You are honest and open and you don't judge others or pull people down and we love you, Andrew.

[BambooLand]

Why would the good people on LoveShack want to rip you apart?

 

 

Not every day you here about a guy who is into "that" as a turn-on and some misinformed people relate this fetish to children and the like. You know, child pervert type thing. Most people are just too afraid to deal with someone who is into this type of fetish.

 

It's like, "Man-turned-on, diapers?? MMMMM K. I understand it though, I mean when I think of people who are into scat fetishes, it makes me afraid and like "WTF" I thank the internet for making fetishes as this more open and acceptable and it is often spoken about on TV shows and movies. It has been talked about on Oprah, Tyra banks show and Donahue as well. The people they interview with a adult baby fetish portray ordinary, good people that aren't the "expected" freak that is all dolled up in baby clothes on stage. It shows people that this fetis is just thst, a fetish and the people who do it are not criminally freakish or into child porn, but normal people who are only involved in a offbeat type of kink.

 

Years ago before the internet I thought I was the only one in the world that liked to wear diapers at the age of 14. You can imagine the shame and self hate I had back then and it added to all the normal peer pressure of normal childhood. It wasn't easy, I can tell you that. I'll never forget the moment I found others like me via the internet. It was a sureal moment and a great, great relief to know I wasn't the freak I thought I was all those years.

 

Thanks, John. You're a good egg.

[Truthseeker-John]

Not every day you here about a guy who is into "that" as a turn-on and some misinformed people relate this fetish to children and the like. You know, child pervert type thing. Most people are just too afraid to deal with someone who is into this type of fetish.

 

It's like, "Man-turned-on, diapers?? MMMMM K. I understand it though, I mean when I think of people who are into scat fetishes, it makes me afraid and like "WTF"

Well, I like to think of myself as a reasonable and open minded person but Scat fetish, like you, I find it rather disgusting. Saying that, they have a problem because how many people would want be a partner to someone who has that fetish?

 

I thank the Internet for making fetishes as this more open and acceptable

Yes but such 'porn' serves to reinforce such fetishes, which greatly reduce our chances of finding a partner.

 

and it is often spoken about on TV shows and movies. It has been talked about on Oprah, Tyra banks show and Donahue as well. The people they interview with a adult baby fetish portray ordinary, good people that aren't the "expected" freak that is all dolled up in baby clothes on stage. It shows people that this fetish is just that, a fetish and the people who do it are not criminally freakish or into child porn, but normal people who are only involved in a offbeat type of kink.

Yes I know it is not criminal in the legal sense but it can be 'criminal' if you are not going to find someone to love because of it. That is the problem that you are up against and I can empathize with you because I have my addictions too.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3105411

 

Years ago before the internet I thought I was the only one in the world that liked to wear diapers at the age of 14. You can imagine the shame and self hate I had back then and it added to all the normal peer pressure of normal childhood. It wasn't easy, I can tell you that. I'll never forget the moment I found others like me via the internet. It was a sureal moment and a great, great relief to know I wasn't the freak I thought I was all those years.

Years ago I thought that I was the only one who believed that there are UFOs and ETs and a theory I have about how we came into existence. When I got on the Internet I was surprised to find that there are many who have similar thoughts and experiences.

 

As a child in junior school I used to get bullied a lot for not wanting to fight and for being 'soft' and I used to say "You guys up there (in the sky) please take me away from this world!" and I still don't feel I really belong to this world but after many years of being angry, I decided to do the best I can to help other people. Then I find LoveShack and I see that there are some very sensible and caring people on here and that's why I joined. Of course I can't be right about everything but I hope that at least some of my words will ring true with some people.

 

Thanks, John. You're a good egg.

Oh I know I am. Is anyone willing to crack me to find my soft inside? I am willing, as long as I am not used or abused. Edited November 18, 2010 by Truthseeker-John