Sexual molestation

[4givrnt4gtr]

Im not sure where to ask this, as Im not sure if it actually "happened" as in it means what i think it means.

 

Ok, first my quick story. When I was about 5 or 6 my older cousin who was about 9 or 10 taught me a "game" where she would make out with me, touch me, undress me and kiss my private area. I remember liking the game but feeling very ashamed and guilty. I felt dirty and I remembered asking her what if i got pregnant. I remember feeling extremely guilty and ashamed and never ever told anyone about it.

 

Anyway, these days that cousin has one little girl and one baby on the way. I hardly ever see her but the last time I saw my aunt and her little girl something made me kind of nervous. The little girl and I were watching tv and all of a sudden she took a toy and started rubbing herself while looking at me, to see what I would say. This little girl is only 4 years old. I told her to stop and thats not appropriate. Still...it made me wonder why she would do that.

 

Now, I never thought of what happened with my cousin as abuse until I research certain issues I have in relationships and apparently some of it has to do with the shame I felt as a little girl.

I am still not sure if what happened with my cousin was abuse, which is why I'm posting this.

 

Also, in the case it WAS abuse, I wonder if her daughter is also being abused. I would hate to think that but quite frankly, I have never seen a four year old being so....seductive, if you could use the word, like she was behaving. It was really creepy. If the little girl is abuse, I really have no idea what to do next....as I said noone in my family knows what happened, and honestly, 25 years later, I am still ashamed of it, so I dont know if i want to tell my mom or my aunt for that matter....

 

Any ideas?

[Trinity2]

My heart goes out to you. I would talk to a professional if that is possible. This guy (your cousin) is SICK.

 

I think he is abusing her, stuff like this just does not go away. He got away with it once (or more times with possible other victims), he will do it again, he has a problem.

 

I am really glad you are aware of what is going on. I was sexually abused also. People knew but did nothing. It almost destryed my life.

[hoping2heal]

Im not sure where to ask this, as Im not sure if it actually "happened" as in it means what i think it means.

 

Ok, first my quick story. When I was about 5 or 6 my older cousin who was about 9 or 10 taught me a "game" where she would make out with me, touch me, undress me and kiss my private area. I remember liking the game but feeling very ashamed and guilty. I felt dirty and I remembered asking her what if i got pregnant. I remember feeling extremely guilty and ashamed and never ever told anyone about it.

 

Anyway, these days that cousin has one little girl and one baby on the way. I hardly ever see her but the last time I saw my aunt and her little girl something made me kind of nervous. The little girl and I were watching tv and all of a sudden she took a toy and started rubbing herself while looking at me, to see what I would say. This little girl is only 4 years old. I told her to stop and thats not appropriate. Still...it made me wonder why she would do that.

 

Now, I never thought of what happened with my cousin as abuse until I research certain issues I have in relationships and apparently some of it has to do with the shame I felt as a little girl.

I am still not sure if what happened with my cousin was abuse, which is why I'm posting this.

 

Also, in the case it WAS abuse, I wonder if her daughter is also being abused. I would hate to think that but quite frankly, I have never seen a four year old being so....seductive, if you could use the word, like she was behaving. It was really creepy. If the little girl is abuse, I really have no idea what to do next....as I said noone in my family knows what happened, and honestly, 25 years later, I am still ashamed of it, so I dont know if i want to tell my mom or my aunt for that matter....

 

Any ideas?

 

Whether the girl is being abused by her mother or someone else, I would say the likelyhood of abuse is very high, based on her acting out alone. You interpet that she rubbed herself with a toy just to see what you would say. I doubt that is what happened. It is possible she did it hoping you would do, whatever someone else already has/is doing to her. I think you need to say something. However, I would speak to protective child services first and foremost. Tell them how you were molested, and what you saw. Don't be the kind of person who stands by and allows a child to be sexually abused.

[SouthernSunshine]

Mother daughter sexual abuse is just like any other, only it's far less reported. Mothers who sexually abuse their children is a taboo topic, but it's been going on for years under the radar because nobody would ever believe a loving mother would do such a thing! It's incredibly hard on the psyche of the abused daughter or son, because they were molested in a loving way by the person they trust more than anyone else. It's very sad.

[Tiberius]

Your cousin was only 10 years old when she did this with you. Either something is wrong with her that inhibits arousal and feeling sexual before everything is good to go, or she has been absused herself and did the same to her daughter.

 

It might run in the family and her daughter suffers the same problem, or she has been abused, became abusive herself with you and now her daughter.

[Omei]

Do you think that maybe the toy incident was just your wild imagination?

 

Kids just do things sometimes because they don't know.

exsample I have seen my 3 year old daughter grab herself over and over a few times for the simple fact that its just *there* she doesn't know what it is or what shes doing you just explain that its not right to do so because its a private part that's all.

 

I know lots of people in the Bi and straight community that have stories of these sexual experimentations at really young ages of like 10+ with friends or cousins in the form of child games, like *Doctor* and grew out of it and now have children today with no problems. (They were not molested)

 

Just giving you something else to think about as an option of what it could be.

[SouthernSunshine]

Do you think that maybe the toy incident was just your wild imagination?

 

Kids just do things sometimes because they don't know.

exsample I have seen my 3 year old daughter grab herself over and over a few times for the simple fact that its just *there* she doesn't know what it is or what shes doing you just explain that its not right to do so because its a private part that's all.

 

I know lots of people in the Bi and straight community that have stories of these sexual experimentations at really young ages of like 10+ with friends or cousins in the form of child games, like *Doctor* and grew out of it and now have children today with no problems. (They were not molested)

 

Just giving you something else to think about as an option of what it could be.

 

Very good point! Possibly, the OP being a victim is looking @ things in the wrong light, so to speak. Maybe counseling would be a good direction?

[Green]

I could definetly see something like that being weird but its not necesariliy something you need to rehash or destroy yourself about. Were you raped later in life maybe so you are thinking about everything that ever happened to you.

 

The little girl might be abused by her mother but it also might just be normal kid behavior. I often grabbed my dick and played with it infront of people when I was a kid. My little bros once pulled down his pants and stuck his finger in his ass hole infront of people and as far as I now he was never molested (have no reason to believe he was)

 

Yeah so I wouldn't necesarily say its a red flag but if you want to report it go ahead and do so couldn't hurt if your gut tells you something is up.

 

as for you're abuse you should speak to a counsler or some one about it. I may be off base here but having ur privates kissed by a 9 year old girl and being naked infront of her shouldn't have really screwed u up.

[Kamille]

Just so you know, the majority of children will play with their genitals. I am not saying what happened between you and your cousin isn't a cause of concerned. Clearly, it affected you and you need to deal with what it meant to you.

 

Your cousin's daughter's actions, however, are pretty typical of young children - so unless you have any other reasons to believe something sinister is going on, I wouldn't spend too much time being scandalized. I was once babysitting a three year old kid who started rubbing herself at the mail. I calmly told her that while it is good that she explores her body, she should reserve those explorations for when she is alone. I researched it when I got home and found out that sexual experimentation is quite frequent in children.