Vesna Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 I have been invited to a wedding which will be in two weeks time. I accepted the invitation a few months ago. I've changed my mind and do not want to go because they are all a family of very heavy drinkers, except the groom who is a teetotaller. His fiance drinks herself into a stupor daily and she cops abuse from him everyday and I mean extreme verbal abuse to the point where the kids are crying and screaming in fear. I have witnessed him set her up with a bottle of spirits, even telling her to drink it so he can abuse her some more. Any self-respecting woman would just leave and take the kids with her. My next door neighbour, who is the groom's brother, is also a huge drinker and has just survived a stroke which left him with speech difficulties. He continues to drink until drunk everyday. None of these people care about anything it seems and have the mentality of PWT. I won't start on the child abuse and neglect that I have witnessed in this family time and time again. When I first met these people it was like a honeymoon and I was getting drunk alot but now that I have seen the damage these people live in, I want out. I have been trying to cut down on drinking in the last year and as a result, these women have gradually cut me out of their circle (I don't mind). I am concerned about the ramifications that may occur if I uninvite myself because I am scared that I won't be able to drink sensibly on the night. I have also decided that I don't even like these people and I have to live next door to one of them indefinitely. Please give me any helpful opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 As an adult you are free to graciously decline the nuptials and reception. No reason need be made. Sounds like it would be hypocritical of you to attend anyways as they do not have your blessings...(which I doubt many could bless such a union)... If you want to bow out kindly, just send them a small wedding gift....like a first aide kit . Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 Just go to the wedding, make a brief appearance at the reception and then leave. If they drink as much as you say they do, they won't remember anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted November 7, 2010 Share Posted November 7, 2010 I think you are concerned for your own sobriety. Backing out might be worse than making a quick appearance, since they are your next door neighbors. I think the polite appearance, and a quick exit, is the best idea. Whatever you do, don't jeoporadize your own sobriety. Attending the wedding, but not the reception, should assure that. Or attending the reception for a short time, but only having a non-alcoholic drink, should make that part of the day non-destructive for you. It all depends on whether there are people that you want to talk to at the reception that you know will be healthy communication. If there is none, then don't bother with the reception. All you'll miss is the drama, and not being there will assure that you don't become a part of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted November 8, 2010 Author Share Posted November 8, 2010 I am more concerned with drinking sensibly than being sober. I feel like a hyprocrite in that I frequently got drunk with these new friends for a few months before I decided that it was enough. Being the false friends that they are, they haven't been as friendly since I embarked on my own 'program' (with a few slip-ups). Tayla, I do feel hypocritical because I can't stand the groom and I have lost respect for the bride because she is staying in this horrendous union. I didn't think to just attend the service and not go to the reception but it isn't an option. However, I will attend the reception as well and leave early, once they cut the cake of doom. This forum has been helping me greatly since this stupid farce of a wedding has been stressing me out. I am grateful that there is only one family member living next door to me and since I have come down a few platforms re booze, his 'respect' for me has dwindled somewhat. This family opened my eyes. Alcohol in the wrong hands is an ugly thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Vesna Posted November 20, 2010 Author Share Posted November 20, 2010 Today is the day of the wedding and I did not go. I saw most of the Bride and Groom retinue and they looked trashed already. The women were pretty icy towards me but it is only because I won't drink with them anymore and they don't appreciate my strong resolve to stay single, which I love. Misery loves company I guess and I am lousy company! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts