longlegzs80 Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 What are some steps I can do to figuring out on how to accept oneself? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Swrite down everything you like about yourself. then write down everything you don't like then ask yourself why you don't like those qualities. Link to post Share on other sites
Author longlegzs80 Posted March 6, 2004 Author Share Posted March 6, 2004 I agree with you DARK, but how would this help someone out? I think I would have more negative things to say about myself or things that I just don't like then positive stuff I Do. How do people change the stuff they don't like about themselves? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 I would expect that many of the qualities you don't like about yourself are things that don't bother other people. We are here to help you, we can provide insight on how to change certain qualities to what you want, or tell you if they are worth changing. Just take it slow step by step. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/Self-esteem-booster.shtml http://www.more-selfesteem.com/ Link to post Share on other sites
Cariel Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Longlegzs, I have been where you are. The first thing to take heart from is the fact that you KNOW you need to make changes. Remember the journey of a thousand miles that begins with a single step? This is your first step. I remember making the list of all the good/bad things about "me" and got so depressed I didn't get out of bed for days, because the bad things seemed so overwhelmingly bad that the good things couldn't possibly make up for them. In my family, needing any sort of help is considered a weakness...particularly psychological help. At rock bottom and ready to die, my instinct for survival won out and I went into therapy despite the rampant disapproval of family and the guilt I felt at not being able to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" (as my father so charmingly puts it). I was lucky and got the right therapist on the first try...she sent me to a psyciatrist who put me on Prozac, and within a week I could see the barest glimmer of light at the end of the endless tunnel that I had peered down for decades. I only stayed in therapy for about 8 months, tho I continued the Prozac for 6 years. In the meantime, I began to actually find things - one at a time - that I actually enjoyed. I found I liked being outside, and took a few baby steps in that direction by planting a few tomato plants and some seeds. I'm now a seasoned flower/fruit/vegetable gardener who advised customers at my favorite local greenhouse during the spring. I discovered I liked going for walks after forcing myself to walk at my therapist's insistance. After spending 15 years as a child/young adult in serious study of dance, and then being forced to abandon that passion after a career-ending injury, I had always been active but never in any solitary activity. When walking, I could pick up interesting rocks, smile at the sound of children playing and consider the beauty of the bark on the trees I passedor the sunlight filtering through the leaves or brances of the trees. I walk at least 5 miles nearly every days. After 20 years, I began to play the piano again. I had studied for many years only because my mother insisted on it, and tho I played well I had lost any enjoyment of either the music or the process long before I reufsed to take any more lessons. Now a day doesn't pass that I don't sit at the keyboard for at least a few minutes to play. Somewhere in the midst of all this (about 4 years ago), I was able to start looking inside myself and listen to me without judgement or fear. I took the chance and went with my intuition just once...then again...and then again. Today I am actually happy in my career and with my life. I no longer resent my family (at least, I don't resent them any more than anyone else I know, LOL!), society, or my own unruly mind. I have friends, and I actually believe they like me as much as I like them. After 18 years of refusing to interact with men after my husband walked out on me and our son with no warning, I have spent the last year building a remarkable relationship with a man who thinks I am quite as wonderful as I think he is...and I'm just being me. Your "me" is in there just waiting to emerge. Do yourself a favor and allow someone to help you find it. Courage, my dear. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 i think you need a wake up call, LL! depression is no joke. it can ruin your physical health as well as the mental one. it doesn't take much to go from mild depression to a severe one, to start neglecting yourself, and ending up at a hospital. so plz do go see a physian and/or counsellor - ideally both. good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Cpunch75 Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Read the 4 agreements by Miguel Ruiz http://www.miguelruiz.com/ Link to post Share on other sites
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