112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Life is about personal responsibility.. that includes all of us.. Yeah, and use the force. Sort of vague there. I guess you're agreeing with me finally? Link to post Share on other sites
desertIslandCactus Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Yeah, and use the force. Sort of vague there. I guess you're agreeing with me finally? I would never agree with a poster who acts as if women are responsible for the sins of the world .. and argues for the sake of arguing .. I said personal responsibility includes all of us.. Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 I would never agree with a poster who acts as if women are responsible for the sins of the world ... Well I'd stay away from that guy too, but that is of course, not me. However I find it telling that according to your own statement, you wouldn't agree with such a person EVEN IF THEY WERE RIGHT. What sort of person would do that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wicar1 Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 It makes me furious when someone uses the phrase, bastard child! Adults are gonna do whatever it is they choose to, unlike an innocent child, that has no say so, in how it comes into the world.[/quote I apologize for using this word..I shouldnt have used it and I do agree the child is innocent Link to post Share on other sites
Author wicar1 Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 This is a horrible post and thread, I can't believe the verbage used to communicate children....after pride, comes the fall....this is disgusting my apologies.... Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 This is why I am starting to believe in mandatory paternity testing at birth for everybody. If a woman does not agree to it she forfeits any right to support in the future. I agree with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wicar1 Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 I don't find it disgusting. It all depends on the context. If MM chose to go ahead and make a baby, why shouldn't that baby be recognised as his flesh and blood? Why shouldn't half-siblings know of one another? Why is it disgusting to you wicar? The initial betrayal and infidelity may be heinous... but surely it is possible for adults to deal with the situation from their in a reasonable manner? I didn't mean raising the child is disgusting, infact I respect the person who does that. What I meant was a wife expecting her husband to raise this child as his own and even expecting his parents to see this child as their grandchild. I am disgusted by this cheap, sick expectation of a cheating wife Is it fair..??!! it's like saying I took a loan my husband should help me pay that.. and I f**** this other guy and my husband should help me raise my child and pay child support. wtf.... Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Its really funny to think some man with real reason to doubt a kid was his would instead opt to avoid insulting her with all the "women love men who treat them like crap" threads on here and so many male LS posters chiming about how true it is. So risk insulting her AND cover your behind - why wouldn't she adore you all the more for it? only person that would ask for a DNA test is someone that probably isn't interested in her adoration. in a loving relationship, a man won't question the paternity because he trusts the child is his. if he doesn't trust the child is his, then the relationship aint all that to begin with. So I don't think a woman's adoration after a DNA request is a high priority. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 You mean as a result of the choices made by the mother and the guy she slept with - right? Or are you suggesting these women drugged and/or raped the men they get pregnant by? no, its about the choice of the mother to be faithful to her partner and not go out and conceive a child with another man. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 The thread was clearly about being disgusted with the betrayal of a spouse to the point where they a) have an affair b) become pregnany from the affair c) hide the truth about the paternity d) live out live like the child is the responsibility of the spouse and not the OM e) have the child exposed to a family that could easily resent its very existence. Nowhere did it say that anyone was disgusted by the existence or presence of the child. I think it is disgusting that people would betray their spouses and family so deeply. This is not a thread about the "wonder of having a child" it is a thread about "how to foist your own responsibilities to be a decent human being onto the mantle of others while causing extreme damage to everyone involved." It also isn't fair to the OM who would probably want to know that a child is his, regardless of what he is going to do about that. Not that the rights of an OM are paramount. Link to post Share on other sites
michelangelo Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 The thread was clearly about being disgusted with the betrayal of a spouse to the point where they a) have an affair b) become pregnany from the affair c) hide the truth about the paternity d) live out live like the child is the responsibility of the spouse and not the OM e) have the child exposed to a family that could easily resent its very existence. Nowhere did it say that anyone was disgusted by the existence or presence of the child. I think it is disgusting that people would betray their spouses and family so deeply. This is not a thread about the "wonder of having a child" it is a thread about "how to foist your own responsibilities to be a decent human being onto the mantle of others while causing extreme damage to everyone involved." It also isn't fair to the OM who would probably want to know that a child is his, regardless of what he is going to do about that. Not that the rights of an OM are paramount. Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Well said. Agreed. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 no, its about the choice of the mother to be faithful to her partner and not go out and conceive a child with another man. She can't accomplish it alone unless her name is Mary. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 She can't accomplish it alone unless her name is Mary. This is true but let the OM pay for the kid. He created it so he should support it. Don't punish the betrayed man who did nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 The person I responded to was speaking of the self swab on the sly test and it would be ignored by a court. And no, some guy who thinks he might be the kids dad can't secret it away for medical testing. uh, yes, they can......I did. I wanted to make sure I AM the father of my precious kids. if a guy has visitation with his kids, he can order a test, swab himself and the child and send it away. its just like you said, it won't hold in court, BUT if said man finds the results indicate he is NOT the father, he can then have one done legally.....IF he is being accused of being the father or he is being taken to court. If a woman just says some guy is the father, but doesn't get it legally declared, then no, a guy can't just do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 She can't accomplish it alone unless her name is Mary. you missed the point. I was referring to the choices of a mother who decided to screw around behind the back of the man alleged to be the father. That was what the poster was talking about to which you replied. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 This is true but let the OM pay for the kid. He created it so he should support it. Don't punish the betrayed man who did nothing wrong. see s4s...Wogs got it. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 This is true but let the OM pay for the kid. He created it so he should support it. Don't punish the betrayed man who did nothing wrong. Is this the band of brotherhood you were talking about? The guy was just helping her husband somehow? I agree with who should be held responsible for the kid monetarily, I'm just saying it takes two. She's playing dirty and so is her cohort (if he knew she was married). Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 This is true but let the OM pay for the kid. He created it so he should support it. Don't punish the betrayed man who did nothing wrong. What if the OM doesn't know about it or says he doesn't want to be a father? Doesn't he have any rights? Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 What if the OM doesn't know about it or says he doesn't want to be a father? Doesn't he have any rights? To be perfectly honest, if he didn't want to be a father, he should have kept it in his pants. And to be honest again, at the risk of attacks, if OW had become pregnant and kept the child she would be raising it on her own. I would have paid CS but would not have been involved. With all the craziness she showed, I can't imagine the level of insanity if there had been a child involved. It would have been truly horrific. I would not have subjected my family to that. It was bad enough. Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 To be perfectly honest, if he didn't want to be a father, he should have kept it in his pants. So in your opinion abstinence is enough contraceptive for anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
thomasb Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 So in your opinion abstinence is enough contraceptive for anyone? As far as affairs go, hell yeah. I wish more would practice abstinence. Ha! Ha! Link to post Share on other sites
112233 Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 As far as affairs go, hell yeah. I wish more would practice abstinence. Ha! Ha! Ha ha, maybe he never knew she was married. So for the general case, abstinence is all we need then? Link to post Share on other sites
BlackLovely Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 It doesn't make me furious, but the term itself is now archaic and meaningless. Its definition is a child born to a man and woman who aren't married to each other (i.e. nothing necessarily to do with infidelity). By that definition, half the children (or some large proportion, anyway) born in North America nowadays are "bastards". The word should be retired, for use as anything other than an insult. Well said. No child is ever "illegitimate" and anyone who believes such nonsense should realize what year this is. There was a post which read that children who come from affairs, should be adopted out. It almost made me throw up. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 What if the OM doesn't know about it or says he doesn't want to be a father? Doesn't he have any rights? That is what he gets for sleeping with a married woman. I have no sympathy for him but the betrayed husband in this situation is innocent. Link to post Share on other sites
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