H. Michele Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 I'll try to keep this short. I've been dating thins guy for a couple of months. I felt strongly from the beginning that he was "the one". I been in several relationships (I'm in my thirties) and never felt life this about anyone before. But, I have been playing it really cool and just going with the flow of things. I didn't want to rush anything. We were taking things slowly which was great. But more and more I was developing feelings for him. The last few weeks we haven't gotten to spend any time together. Life has been hectic. Last week he promised that we would spend some time together, but all week things came up and his busy schedule didn't allow that to happen. But, at the same time, he still went out with some friends. Well, day by day I got more frustrated with the situation. I am normally very paitent, but for some reason, I wasn't this time. Maybe it is PMS- LOL! Anyway, I tried to call him and because he was busy he cut our conversation short. Up until now, he has given me signs that he was interested, so I seem to think that he wasn't trying to blow me off. He really does care about me. After the shortened conversation I decided to send him an e-mail to explain the reason I called because I didn't have a chance to on the phone. Well, this e-mail turned into a whilwind of everything I have been feeling. I told him I was feeling frustrated and then, to make matters worse, I told him how I felt about him. Including how I thought he was "the one" and that I was falling in love with him, ect. I KNOW it was way too early to confess all of that. Afterall, it has only been about 2 1/2 months. I'm kicking myself now! I don't want to scare him off, but I just couldn't hold it all inside any longer. I'm worried that I really messed things up by telling him all of that! My question is how should I proceed. Should I make an excuse for the way I acted? Should I apologize? I haven't heard from him yet. But, most likely he hasn't gotten the e-mail yet. I just sent it last night. Help me guys! What would you do if you were in my shoes? Any advice will be greatly appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
LostWithoutYou Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 ok i dont really know much about your situation.. and im only 16 so im sorry if this sounds immature.. I think you did the right thing by telling him how you were feeling, its better to let things out then to keep them inside and get stressed over it. Depending on his reply this might be the "start" of a GREAT relationship! and even if he says he doesnt love you, give it time! i wish you the best and may god bless you! i hope i helped Link to post Share on other sites
sensitiveguy Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Don't apologize for telling the truth. Worst case you find out he doesn't feel the same way. I would let him get the email and let what you wrote sink in. I wouldn't want an email and then another email/phone call explaining the first email before I even got to read it! Just my 2 cents. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
H. Michele Posted March 6, 2004 Share Posted March 6, 2004 Lostwithoutyou: Thank you for that glimmer of hope. I really pray that is what happens, but I'm also trying to prepare for the worst, just in case. I felt at the time it was the right thing, but I'm second guessing everything now. I know how guys can be and the "confession of love" on my part this early on may be a bad idea. I plan to wait to see what his response is. I'm not going to push anything further at this point. If the worst should happen, I'm wondering what I should do at that point. I hoping to salvige a frienship if nothing else. Although guys can sometimes get akward just being friends afterwards too. Interpersonal relationships are so confusing! LOL Anyway, thanks again! Your response brought a little light to the end of the tunnel. Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmama Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 It sounds as if you are doing the right thing by waiting for his reply. I don't think contacting him again, even with an apology would be smart. It may not be much help, but don't sweat telling him how you feel. If you are meant to be together it will happen. I know men can be strange creatures sometimes, but they ALL don't scare that easily. Maybe he will be flattered by what you said. Best wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
dario Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Wait for a reply. If you sent the message in extreme hast you can explain your actions to him with warmth. Wait for him to reply. Link to post Share on other sites
Qgal Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Give him some time to absorb it all. He is probably feeling somewhat overwhelmed and maybe scared of his feelings and awkward. It may be awkward seeing you again and he may avoid for awhile. He will respond but he may not be as truthful. I've heard that guys hold back true feelings much more than we women do. Maybe an ego thing? I know how you are feeling as I was in a similar situation. I waited and waited but no response. When I finally decided (truly believed) I was never going to get a response, I did. It wasn't exactly what I wanted but it was a warm and caring. He probably won't want to be friends in any event. Guys take that as an insult, for some reason. ??? (It appears to be a joke among them.) Oh, well...good luck. I don't think it is ever WRONG to let someone know they are loved or cared for as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
H. Michele Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Well, to keep ya'all updated, it is Sunday morning and I still have not received a reply. I sent the e-mail on Friday. After I sent the e-mail, I did leave a voicemail message (I knew I'd get his v-mail cause of where he was going) to let him know that I sent him an important e-mail and too check it as soon as he could. I also gave him a small warning about the contents of it, but stayed pretty casual in the message. Now it is just a waiting game. I not going to contact him and I want to give him time to adjust to everything. But, in the meantime, I'm driving myself nuts thinking about how I potentially messed things up! I don't know what to do to take my mind off of things. He was the best thing to come along in years. I know I just got to keep myself busy until I hear from him, but no matter what I do to occupy my time, this stays at the forefront of my mind. Any suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
princefofet Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 give it a week. if you havent heard from him by then maybe send one last e-mail to say your sorry. just keep your time full until then. go out with friends and stuff. hope this helps Link to post Share on other sites
odisea Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I did the same as you with my boyfriend. One night I was feeling very overwhelmed by my feelings for him and I told him I thought I was falling in love with him. He distanced himself for the following few weeks and then broke up with me. Don't panic though...because that was almost 2 months ago and we are back together...BUT, he wants to take things slooooow. If your boyfriend does the same mine did, and he may panic because it is so soon to hear those things, just give him space. That is the best you can do...lots of space and patience. He WILL come around if he cares about you..I promise you that. This site has helped me out a whole lot in learning how to not only deal with the pain of separation, but also in learning how not to act with someone so early on in the relationship. My suggestion is from now on no matter how strong your feelings are for him, keep them to yourself until you feel the relationship has built enough strength and it is safe to share. In the meantime, be someone he loves to be around..in that I mean keep everything light and just be and have a lot of fun together..it will make him want to be around you. It may sound corny, but there is a website that has helped me a lot..it kind of talks about the "no contact" rule..give the articles a read, they'll make you feel much better. Here it is.. http://www.lovetactics.com/articles/ Link to post Share on other sites
YssaBoo Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 Odisea,I did the same thing.He broke up with me and wanted to be just friends and made all these promises.I truely believe in him,but lately all those promises have not been fulfilled.Some days he is really nice and other days he criticizes me terribly. I was just picked as a student rep for a photography studio and got my pix back last night.I sent him the link and he replyed by saying I had no expression on my face and a blank stare,also I shouldn't show my bottom teeth when I smile and that they were pretty good.He is in modeling class and has not gotten any offers from it and I dont know if he is jealous or what,but the email was so hurtful. I finally let him have it back and said that what he said was pretty harsh and let him know how I have felt lately.I am trying not to be negative,everyone says he cares very much,but his family life is not very good and he doesnt want me involved in it.I have told him that it doesn't matter,but he is so stubborn and says he is a soldier and won't show his emotions.I feel like I am in a whirlwind anymore and don't know where I am going to land. I am trying to be positive,but some days it is really hard.What did you do?? Link to post Share on other sites
YssaBoo Posted March 10, 2004 Share Posted March 10, 2004 I'm replying to the previous post and just wanted to know if these pix are so bad.I wanted to put the link on the previous post,but didn't have the time.Is he right in being so harsh or just being a guy. http://www.photoreflect.com/scripts/prsm.dll?EventFrame?event=0355005W05 Thanks everybody for their insight and I hope we can continue to help each other through our bad times Link to post Share on other sites
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