In something of a panic

[Taressa]

Yes, I know I kinda signed off last week... I need some help, however. I'm looking for some advice not necessarily pertaining to love...

 

There's something of a history you'll need to know...

 

One year ago Valentines Day, I was drugged and raped by a "friend" and his two buddies. I went to the hospital, had all the tests and proofs taken but was advised not to prosecute by the county detective since the drugs had passed through my system and I couldn't remember enough pieces to make sense of the night.

 

Since the anniversary of that night passed this year, it finally felt like I had made my peace and moved on. I have taken joy in my strength and good life. I've felt better and stronger than ever for having conquered it.

 

HOWEVER, I dropped by my apartment for lunch today and decided to answer the phone call that came as I was leaving. It was the ex-friend. He is going out with his same buddies again this week and they wanted to know if I could join them.

 

Of course I said no but he couldn't understand why I would not want to see him again. He wants to come over tonight to "comfort" and "explain" to me. His voice that was once beautiful to me sounded arrogant, condescending, and even evil. I told him not to come and not to call again. He said he wants to come over to make sure I'm okay. He promised to "keep the other two away from" me. Again I said no.

 

I need advice:

 

- Is he likely to show up tonight even after I told him no twice?

 

- Would the court give a restraining order even after I took the advice not to prosecute last year? I honestly don't think I'm in danger but I don't want him in my life and especially not in my home.

 

- Is it necessary I take this on alone... one last mountain to climb? Would it be okay to ask a male friend (again, you'll need some of the history) to come over and stand guard with me?

 

The male friend I refer to helped me patiently through this past year. I mistook his physical affection and fell in love with him and backed off the relationship recently when I found his feelings were not the same. Now we're casual, good conversation friends, nothing more.

 

I'm torn between standing on my own and asking for help. I've climbed mountains to build a better me this year. I would like to stand up to and scare away the creepy ex-friend; at the same time I would give the world to be wrapped up and protected in a man's arms.

 

Life really is good right now. I've got a lot to look forward to with a new consulting assignment at work, a promising interview for a writing position, and a new relationship. I just need help with this old ugly problem.

 

Thanks for the advice. I'm just feeling panicked after hearing his voice again. I'm ready to put it in the past and stop looking back.

 

Taressa

[quankanne]

Taressa --

 

FIRST -- does your city/county have a liason for women who have been sexually assaulted or do you have any sort of resource to get infromation from to find out exactly what you can do to legally protect yourself?

 

SECOND -- if this creep keeps pressuring you to meet with him, tell him in no uncertain terms NO! That you aren't interested in getting together with him, that you have no desire to even remain in contact with him. What you've written just gives me the willies, and you need to be assertive so he doesn't see you as potential prey. This man is ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD.

 

THIRD -- Would your guy friend be willing to help you out that way? How about other friends or family members? Because if the jerk you're talking about is adament, he's not going to draw the line at just one brush-off. Again, contact someone who can give you an idea about how you can legally protect yourself. And don't ever think twice about asking for help -- that's what friends do for each other.

 

FOURTH -- Is there any way you can make yourself "disappear" by changing your number?

 

I don't mean to sound reactionary, but you just can't be too careful, especially if the guy/his friends have it in their head that it's okay to abuse women this way.

 

Good luck,

 

jo anne

[sugar]

taressa, i agree,if there is anyway you can change your number and or move, then do it! you shouldn't have to run away from this jerk with no moral values or respect. it's a shame you'd even have to think about it, but maybe it would give you peace of mind. i will say a prayer for you tho and i hope to god all works out for you. you sound like someone i'd love to be. God bless you! many times over. :)

Taressa -- FIRST -- does your city/county have a liason for women who have been sexually assaulted or do you have any sort of resource to get infromation from to find out exactly what you can do to legally protect yourself? SECOND -- if this creep keeps pressuring you to meet with him, tell him in no uncertain terms NO! That you aren't interested in getting together with him, that you have no desire to even remain in contact with him. What you've written just gives me the willies, and you need to be assertive so he doesn't see you as potential prey. This man is ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD. THIRD -- Would your guy friend be willing to help you out that way? How about other friends or family members? Because if the jerk you're talking about is adament, he's not going to draw the line at just one brush-off. Again, contact someone who can give you an idea about how you can legally protect yourself. And don't ever think twice about asking for help -- that's what friends do for each other. FOURTH -- Is there any way you can make yourself "disappear" by changing your number?

 

I don't mean to sound reactionary, but you just can't be too careful, especially if the guy/his friends have it in their head that it's okay to abuse women this way. Good luck, jo anne

[billy the kid]

I hope I'm not too late.. call the male friend, then lock the doors and windows, then when this exguy shows up dial 911..

Yes, I know I kinda signed off last week... I need some help, however. I'm looking for some advice not necessarily pertaining to love... There's something of a history you'll need to know... One year ago Valentines Day, I was drugged and raped by a "friend" and his two buddies. I went to the hospital, had all the tests and proofs taken but was advised not to prosecute by the county detective since the drugs had passed through my system and I couldn't remember enough pieces to make sense of the night. Since the anniversary of that night passed this year, it finally felt like I had made my peace and moved on. I have taken joy in my strength and good life. I've felt better and stronger than ever for having conquered it. HOWEVER, I dropped by my apartment for lunch today and decided to answer the phone call that came as I was leaving. It was the ex-friend. He is going out with his same buddies again this week and they wanted to know if I could join them.

 

Of course I said no but he couldn't understand why I would not want to see him again. He wants to come over tonight to "comfort" and "explain" to me. His voice that was once beautiful to me sounded arrogant, condescending, and even evil. I told him not to come and not to call again. He said he wants to come over to make sure I'm okay. He promised to "keep the other two away from" me. Again I said no. I need advice: - Is he likely to show up tonight even after I told him no twice? - Would the court give a restraining order even after I took the advice not to prosecute last year? I honestly don't think I'm in danger but I don't want him in my life and especially not in my home. - Is it necessary I take this on alone... one last mountain to climb? Would it be okay to ask a male friend (again, you'll need some of the history) to come over and stand guard with me? The male friend I refer to helped me patiently through this past year. I mistook his physical affection and fell in love with him and backed off the relationship recently when I found his feelings were not the same. Now we're casual, good conversation friends, nothing more. I'm torn between standing on my own and asking for help. I've climbed mountains to build a better me this year. I would like to stand up to and scare away the creepy ex-friend; at the same time I would give the world to be wrapped up and protected in a man's arms. Life really is good right now. I've got a lot to look forward to with a new consulting assignment at work, a promising interview for a writing position, and a new relationship. I just need help with this old ugly problem. Thanks for the advice. I'm just feeling panicked after hearing his voice again. I'm ready to put it in the past and stop looking back. Taressa

[Taressa]

The creepy ex-friend, Phil, called six times last night and drove by twice.

 

I've ordered caller id, talked to my neighbors asking their help in watching for him, and my good friend, Rob, said he will come over Friday night (the night Phil & his buddies are going out).

 

The good friend, Rob, is an attorney with St. Louis County; he has a friend who prosecutes stalkers and other violent relationships. He will ask for his advice. We believe we can warn off Phil with a threat to prosecute for stalking. Since Phil is married with a son, we're hoping he will back off.

 

Thank God for friends and for people like you who rallied when I called for help. Thank you, each of you.

 

I'll let you know what happens.

 

Less panicked and more in control,

 

Taressa

 

Yes, I know I kinda signed off last week... I need some help, however. I'm looking for some advice not necessarily pertaining to love... There's something of a history you'll need to know... One year ago Valentines Day, I was drugged and raped by a "friend" and his two buddies. I went to the hospital, had all the tests and proofs taken but was advised not to prosecute by the county detective since the drugs had passed through my system and I couldn't remember enough pieces to make sense of the night. Since the anniversary of that night passed this year, it finally felt like I had made my peace and moved on. I have taken joy in my strength and good life. I've felt better and stronger than ever for having conquered it. HOWEVER, I dropped by my apartment for lunch today and decided to answer the phone call that came as I was leaving. It was the ex-friend. He is going out with his same buddies again this week and they wanted to know if I could join them.

 

Of course I said no but he couldn't understand why I would not want to see him again. He wants to come over tonight to "comfort" and "explain" to me. His voice that was once beautiful to me sounded arrogant, condescending, and even evil. I told him not to come and not to call again. He said he wants to come over to make sure I'm okay. He promised to "keep the other two away from" me. Again I said no. I need advice: - Is he likely to show up tonight even after I told him no twice? - Would the court give a restraining order even after I took the advice not to prosecute last year? I honestly don't think I'm in danger but I don't want him in my life and especially not in my home. - Is it necessary I take this on alone... one last mountain to climb? Would it be okay to ask a male friend (again, you'll need some of the history) to come over and stand guard with me? The male friend I refer to helped me patiently through this past year. I mistook his physical affection and fell in love with him and backed off the relationship recently when I found his feelings were not the same. Now we're casual, good conversation friends, nothing more. I'm torn between standing on my own and asking for help. I've climbed mountains to build a better me this year. I would like to stand up to and scare away the creepy ex-friend; at the same time I would give the world to be wrapped up and protected in a man's arms. Life really is good right now. I've got a lot to look forward to with a new consulting assignment at work, a promising interview for a writing position, and a new relationship. I just need help with this old ugly problem. Thanks for the advice. I'm just feeling panicked after hearing his voice again. I'm ready to put it in the past and stop looking back. Taressa