Can't tell/show someone how I feel

[shortie]

Ok... I'll do my best to explain this. I posted on here at the end of last year, but a few things have changed since then. My ex got in touch with me and we're talking about trying again. I don't think that will happen for a long time though.

 

Anyway, she told me she finds it hard to love me because I push her away, which I had no idea I was doing. Getting closer to what I'm trying to say and I even find it difficult on here. Right... I find it really hard to let someone know how I feel. Everytime I try to show affection, something in my head stops me. I have trouble with opening up to talk about depression and things. I really need to sort it out before I lose her for good.

 

I think it's because I had a hard time at school, which caused me to lose my confidence and I have trouble putting my past behind me. My ex has been very supportive of the depression, but because I find it hard to show her affection, she doubts how I feel for her. I really do love her more than anything and I need her to know that.

 

I hope someone can help. Don't know if I posted in the right section.

[moimeme]

Write her a letter or card saying much of what you said in your post. Tell her you do care and how much and ask her for help. If she is affectionate with you, can you return it or at least accept it and learn to be comfortable with it? That would be a good first step.

[shortie]

I did manage to talk to her about it a couple of months ago, but it was through text, so it did make it easier. She tries to talk to me about it face to face, but I end up failing miserably. She's the sort of person who doesn't like being pushy, but I think I need her to be pushy. I said that to her and she said she wants me to break free from it in my own way.

 

She does show affection and I guess I do feel a little bit uncomfortable, but I think that's to do with low confidence. I'll write a letter like you said and try and explain it to her, like I have in that post. Thank you for the advice