TheLoveAdvisor Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 So, you are getting married soon and you need some basic advice to help you both make it easier! First off, Marriage is hard, difficult. Marriage will not change a person. Communication is key! Talk, listen, one on one! Always take the time to do this, no matter what! Take the time to ask each other how they are doing everyday! How was your day?? Don't try to offer advice, just listen, tell him or her you understand.. They want to vent, let them.. Just be there, and listen! Tell each other "You love them"! Do this every time they leave in the morning,or before you tuck them in at night! Just tell them you love them! It will go a long way! When you talk to them on the phone or text them, when your finished, be sure to add "I love You"! Get some "Post Its" and leave little notes dangling around! No Secrets! That means everything you two do together is an open book! This means emails, passwords, text, chats, mail, everything you do should be done with each others knowledge! Never do things in secret unless its a surprise party! Write down each others passwords, and keep them in a notebook! If you need a diary, then have one, but nothing is secret in a marriage if it has an outlet to others! If your partner knows you have access to everything, then thats a much less chance of cheating! Honesty is key! Just ask a Divorce Lawyer! Pay Bills together! Never, ever let one person do this! When the bills come in the mail, be sure to share what is coming in and what is going out! Pay them together! Open your mail together! Look at your bills together, see what is being bought and sold! Have the same Banking Accounts! You can have your own 401k, but your spouse should the first on that... Any separate accounts should always be available to the other person at any time! Doing things TOGETHER is key! When you buy things, do it with each others permission! Don't come home with a new car or that 52 inch Full Screen TV without letting the other know ahead of time, and both should agree! If one doesn't agree, then don't buy it! Your a couple, but you've became one! If you are buying a gift, then its ok to hide that until you give it to your spouse! You are impressing each other, not the world! Credit cards? If you can live without them, do it! If you must have one, only have one! Keep the limit low, and pay it off! Debt is the number one reason for Divorce! If you cannot afford it, don't buy it! Money in the Savings is much better than a Large Screen TV thats not paid for! Share the housework! If one works full time, then be sure to pick up a little more if you are the one staying home! Give your spouse a break every now and then, help out around the home! Fix things, don't put them off unless you cannot afford to do it... Run the Vac, wash the dishes, do the laundry, but do something! Never sweat the small stuff! Get over it! Everyone does something we all would rather do without, try to love those annoying habits, cause you will miss them when they are gone! Leave the "X" behind! Don't go searching for the past! Let it go! If you must find the "X", then be sure to be public with everything, if you want to see the "X", then you must do it with your spouse included, then let the "X" go! No need to keep in contact, no need to give them your number, emails..Keep your "X" an "X" Your married now! You are set apart from the single world and must begin to live like it! You made the promise, the vow, and you did this in front of family, friends, and God! So, be sure to remember those things you agreed to! The Good and the Bad! Remember the Bad is what it means! If you cant agree to the bad part, take it out of your vows! Shotgun Weddings are the thing of the past, you made the choice to get married, nobody else did it for you! Honor it! Nip everything in the bud before it grows out of control! If you find a crush, then back away! Don't fall in love as you are already in love! You will forever regret cheating in your Marriage! It will eat at you till the day you die! Put each other FIRST! This means you come before the kids! Before your mom! Before your Dad! Before your friends! Your spouse is your number one priority! If you make your spouse number one, then everything else will follow! Happy parents, means happy kids! Kids respect this, and they will understand Mom and dad come first! Never forget Romance! Have getaways from the kids also! Go out, eat dinner, see a movie, go fishing, hang gliding, do something to keep it alive! But do something you both love together! Have a beer, a picnic, a hobby! Pray together, stay together! Play together, Stay together! Have fun! Know when to be serious! Trust! Try to find a good married couple to hang with every now and then! Mens and Girls night out should be minimal! Avoid meat markets when you have a night away! If you dangle carrots in front of you, you may take one! Avoid dangling carrots! Everyone is different, respect that! If your spouse needs time at night, then give them that space, but don't ignore each other. Being Married is always a learning experience! Marriage is 2 people working, living, and loving as 1! Never degrade each other, never call each other names! Walk away if you must, and always let them walk away! But always come back and try to work it out later when you have cooled down! If it makes you that mad to walk away, then its that important to come back and talk it over till you both work it out! Never ignore your spouses feelings! Sex, there is no "normal" for Sex in Marriage... Women are not machines that you click on, they are people... Sex is a good indication on how things are going also.. Never get into a routine if you can help it... In most cases, men have a higher sex drive than women, so if your not in the mood, then let the other person have some time to relieve themselves.... I am against Porn, or anything that shows others..Your imagination is all you need to satisfy your lonely urges! Not every marriage is the same, but I would strongly urge against using porn or other outlets.... Don't get mad if he or she isn't in the mood, don't pout! Get over it! Take the time to see what works and what doesn't! Try to satisfy each other when you can! Never use sex as a weapon, use it as a tool instead! Learn to communicate, don't be afraid to fantasize or tell your spouse what makes you feel good! Getting mad will not get you sex! Trust me! Lastly, If you both love Cheese Cake, and you only have one piece left, cut that piece in half! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Great advice! Wow! I'll remember that! But I hate cheesecake! What do I do! Link to post Share on other sites
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