notsure Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 i have a lot of things on my mind and i`m not sure what to think half the time. 1st off i know about 2 affairs that have happened and its confusing me as to what to think. my father is the one who has or is still having an affair and i told no one except my wife. i knew for a few years and it just went to the back of my mind, i rescently told my brother one night when i was drinking with him but i think now that i should`nt of told him. i broke down when i was telling him but i feel that the drink fueled that break down now i think its going to tear apart my family and i dont want that to happen, my brother wants to tell some other people in my family but i dont think he should. the other affair is at work between my boss and one off the secretary`s but they have no idea that i know. this is where im stuck in an awkard situation, with all this on my mind i feel its driving me to do the same with a number of woman, i like my sex life and woman very much and sex related things have been number one in my book. now, i get the feeling that i want a part of this woman that is having the affair at work but i dont find her attractive at all its just what she`s doing. i`m trying to stop it by dropping little notes outside her house saying "i know about the affair" etc..... but i dont think she got them or did but is still taking the chance having the affair. when i got out with my work mates i always hang around with the secretary`s all night, i just like being around them talking and flirting with them. one time it got heated with another one off the secretary`s at a night club we where both on the same level and was very close to kissing her but i did`nt, ever since we`ve been giving each other looks as to im interested or something, i`ve got her looking at me sometimes and visa versa. this woman drives me crazy and there`s not a day that goes by that i dont think of her, what sould i do? i love my wife loads and would never cheat or hurt her by doing anything stupid like that but i am lost and confused as to what to do? help... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 Your Boss and secretary is not really your business, as for your father, its hard to say, either say nothing or talk to him about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fofinha Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 You cannot control other people's actions so please, don't spend so much of your energy focusing on other people's affairs. They are really their business and there is nothing you can really do about it. As for you, it seems that you are dancing dangerously close to having an affair youself. Is this why you mention the other affairs you know about? Is it a way for you to justify the flirting you are involved in yourself? I would stay away from all those other women. Focus on your mariage. An affair will only bring pain to your patner and perhaps the worst guilt you ever felt, to you. Think about it. You already seem unable to handle other people's affairs that you know about, if you cheated, how could you live with yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
VelveteelI Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 It's true. These affairs that you know about are none of your business. I think you're obsessing about them because you're bored. Take that energy home to your wife. Really. Surprise her with a romantic trip out of town, or a night in some beautiful hotel near you. Exchange fantasies. Leave her a red-hot love note. Buy her lingerie. Buy a book of (tasteful) erotic stories (ask at a bookstore) and leave it on the pillow with a rose. Whatever. I'm pretty sure she'll surprise you in return. You need to pour some of this energy back into your relationship. Get inspired. Link to post Share on other sites
unsure Posted March 8, 2004 Share Posted March 8, 2004 yeah but the affair that going on in work really pisses me off, me thinkin about how there getting away with what there doing boils my blood, so i fell i have 2 teach them a lesson, can you understand that? its hard for me to sit by why they get there evil way`s with eachother its not right, its not!! there`s to many people involeved and to many hearts that can be broken.... Link to post Share on other sites
Fofinha Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Hmmm...again, none of your business. It is their lives and there is really nothing you can do or say to "save them" at this point. Don't focus so much on the affair, try to ignore it and turn your attention to your own mariage. They won't help you save yours if you're ever in trouble, so, why would you spend so much energy worried about their respective spouses? Think about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Fritz Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Originally posted by unsure yeah but the affair that going on in work really pisses me off, me thinkin about how there getting away with what there doing boils my blood, so i fell i have 2 teach them a lesson, can you understand that? its hard for me to sit by why they get there evil way`s with eachother its not right, its not!! there`s to many people involeved and to many hearts that can be broken.... Yeah it sucks. They're scum. But its not your problem. I would say it only becomes YOUR problem when it somehow involves your job. I've seen where that can happen. You know, you walk in on them in flagrante dilecto and you get treated like crap because of it aka they feel guilty and take it out on you. In my opinion as long as it doesn't directly affect your job or the company then its not your concern. As to your family issue.. I don't know. I'd have a hard time not telling a parent that I knew about an affair even if I didn't want to really get involved. Link to post Share on other sites
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