Kit_Karson Posted November 8, 2010 Share Posted November 8, 2010 Hello all, I have read a number of posts here in the past and appreciate the knowledge that seems to be present in this little community! This weekend the GF and I went ring shopping and I purchased a ring... Next thing to do is ask the parents I figure.... so I am looking for any tips you might have! Also looking for feedback on the following "speech" I plan to give to her mother and father: Dick & Jane, I ain't very good at speaking or this kinda stuff so I am just gonna cut to it. I am deeply in love with your daughter. In the past few months I have found that my happiness depends on her happiness, so it's no supprize that I would do everything in my power to make her so. I want to share the rest of my life with "little Jane", so I would like to ask for your blessing and your daughter's hand in marraige. It is kinda a rough draft right now, but that is pretty much it.. with some open ended discussion afterwards obviously.... Also, I was going to show them the ring, but I understand that is bad luck/ not customary. Any suggestions (on any/all of the above!) ? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Well if your going to be traditional, I think you've already went off track with going ring shopping before asking for her parents' permission. The whole point of asking for their blessing is to know that they are ok with you marrying her. By buying the ring first, you're kinda going backwards. Anyway that little speech sounds fine and congrats on coming to this decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kit_Karson Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 uh.. yea... about that. I wanted to get the ring so I could show it to her parents... I have since learned that isn't how it's done, so I won't be showing them the ring.... I don't have a clue what I am doing, as far as process here... Her mother has already been asking her all sorts of questions about different things she want's at her wedding. So between that and other stories I am hearing from her I think a rejection is very highly unlikely. Thanks for the feedback! Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Well if your going to be traditional, I think you've already went off track with going ring shopping before asking for her parents' permission. The whole point of asking for their blessing is to know that they are ok with you marrying her. By buying the ring first, you're kinda going backwards. Anyway that little speech sounds fine and congrats on coming to this decision. Nah, I disagree with this. My husband bought my ring first and then asked my father's permission a few days prior to proposing. I don't see anything wrong with doing that at all. Most parents would understand that it takes time to get the ring sized and all. My husband asked my parents at the last minute on purpose so they wouldn't spill the beans! Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 Nah, I disagree with this. My husband bought my ring first and then asked my father's permission a few days prior to proposing. I don't see anything wrong with doing that at all. Most parents would understand that it takes time to get the ring sized and all. My husband asked my parents at the last minute on purpose so they wouldn't spill the beans! Yeah well that's fine in a traditional sense, which I think the OP is going for. But he said he went ring shopping WITH his girlfriend. The whole point of asking is to get permission to propose in the first place. That's like me telling my nephew that I'm taking him to Disney World without asking his mom (my sister) if it's ok first. If he knows we're going there's no point in asking her if it's ok at that point. By the way OP, out of curiousity, what would you do if her parents said they weren't ok with you two getting married? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kit_Karson Posted November 10, 2010 Author Share Posted November 10, 2010 (edited) The back story: I told her I was looking at rings one night and that if I knew she would say yes I would ask her the next day.... Boiled down to her wanting to pick out her own ring... The buying got bumped up do to some timing issues. She lives an hour away and don't know more than about 3 days ahead of time if she has to work weekends.. and certain weekends I am on call and can't leave. So I had to jump on the opportunity I had to purchase when we could both get to a big town.... If, in the unlikely event that they say no. I will hold on the ring until they say yes... I can be quite stubborn on some things! Besides, even if they say no, it is ultimately our decision. So we would have to make the decision to proceed or not with or without their blessing.... ETA: it may be worth noting that her mother was already planning our wedding after we had been dating for just short of 2 months! Edited November 10, 2010 by Kit_Karson Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted November 10, 2010 Share Posted November 10, 2010 The back story: I told her I was looking at rings one night and that if I knew she would say yes I would ask her the next day.... Haha that almost sounds like the first time my dad asked my mom to marry him. Boiled down to her wanting to pick out her own ring... The buying got bumped up do to some timing issues. She lives an hour away and don't know more than about 3 days ahead of time if she has to work weekends.. and certain weekends I am on call and can't leave. So I had to jump on the opportunity I had to purchase when we could both get to a big town.... If, in the unlikely event that they say no. I will hold on the ring until they say yes... I can be quite stubborn on some things! Besides, even if they say no, it is ultimately our decision. So we would have to make the decision to proceed or not with or without their blessing.... ETA: it may be worth noting that her mother was already planning our wedding after we had been dating for just short of 2 months! You could've proposed without a ring and bought the ring afterward as an alternative to going ring shopping first. Anyway, I was just curious as to what you would do if they did say no and I'm happy you realize that this is a decision for both of you and although what her parents think is important, it's ultimately up to the both of you whether or not you wed. But it looks like you have their support (well her mother's support especially) already so that's good. Link to post Share on other sites
Dustinb15 Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 Advise....Don't Link to post Share on other sites
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