VeveCakes Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Dude. She's cheating on you. She's using you. If you don't think you deserve better than hey, sit and pray you are right. But you aren't. She does not love you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 I get it but I've read soooo many stories on here about woman not going back to their ex even if they lend their ex the impression that they want to get back together. It's just game playing or whatever. I have'nt read a lot on here from woman who are with someone new and want their ex back so why should this be any different-Can everyone at least see that point??? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 As with all theories, they have to stand up to real world testing. You are hoping for the 1% chance in what has been roundly proven to be 99% over between you two. She is sucking up to you BECAUSE SHE IS GUILTY! Look at the married men/women board. This is a classic sign of cheating. They assuage their built by acting all nicey-nice but leave clues all over the place. How can your girl talking about how hot she gets when she's thinking about blowing her ex be any sort of sign that she actually loves you? You don't see it as an option because you refuse to believe what you've seen. Just as you chose to invade her privacy, you must choose to accept that you've seen. Maybe you are right, it isn't an option for her. I believe it's a priority for her to go back to him. You are looking for excuses, the lease in her name, the fights, etc, for her behavior. Moving in means nothing. It just means she can have an easy exit when she leaves to go back to her ex's house. How long is the lease for? You've got 4 pages of people telling you to ditch her. I know you are new to LS, you want us to tell you what you WANT to hear. But we're going to tell you what you NEED to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Those ex's you read about.. did any of them carry on email and text affairs mentioning explicit things they were going to do with each other ? You GF is still hung up on him Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 This is getting terrible...The lease is for one year and I don't plan on going anywhere unless she asks me to leave and then of course I would have to. She told him I was leaving but funny thing about that is she hasn't told me...Like I said before though I've read all over here that woman play games with their exes for ego purposes. I will tell you I have never had an ex GF of mine while in a realtionship do this to me but I guess there's always exceptions......so her being nice to me and putting all the new pics on FB is guilt??? Is that a woman thing or something??? The thing is I get it ok but reading some threads on here I came to the same conclusion and that's that exes rarely ever get back together. So you guys are telling me that they do??? And if exes were to get back together is this how it would or could start??? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 She told him you were leaving? The lease is in her name? All the stuff there is yours? Houston, we have a problem Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 My recommendation is that you discuss this with her and you will then know whether or not you need to find a new place to live. Personally..I would not stand for this type of behavior but we are not the same people.. Good Luck... Let us know how it pans out Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 So it seems likely based on what she told him that she still wants and loves him not me??? I'm new here and sort of just learned the website and I noticed this thread is being looked at a LOT!!! I wonder if it's everyone wants to see if she does go because they want their ex back??? The thing that worries me because I've read soo much on here is how he has handled himself when talking to her. It's like he never ever said-"Hey come home"-I feel like he's an enemy just patiently waiting and undetectable...The guy is a patient man my lord I'd be going crazy-OH wait I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 No she probably won't get with him, she will get with someone new and leave you both in the dust. She's using you dude. The bottom line isn't if she will choose him, its WHY ON EARTH YOU WOULD LET YOURSELF GET TREATED THIS WAY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 People also play with their current fling for Ego purpose. That would be her playing with you, sir. This isn't a woman thing. It's a human thing. It's also a human thing to deny reality. Like it or not, the ex is in the picture. Not just any picture either, the XXX-erotic "I get so wet thinking about your dong in my mouth" picture. It doesn't really paint a masterpiece does it? You are in a tough spot. You need to confront her about this. You need to own up to snooping, but she needs to own up as well. You are only looking for threads that feed your own fake-reality. There are also many many many more threads of people being burned by a fast moving rebound. Link to post Share on other sites
tgr172 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Well sounds like a good way of changing the subject in order to cover up the real issue of her playing him. Sort of like a spouse waxing indignent because their partner tailed them to a meeting with their lover at a motel. "How could you follow me! Thats so wrong, how can I ever trust you!" "Ok honey, Im sorry I found out that you were banging someone in a hotel room while Im home watching the kids! Please forgive me!" Cant believe someone critisized you for being suspicious and finding out that your suspicions were well founded. Just who is the bad actor here? It damn sure isnt you! It goes right along with what I get blasted on and that is that the ex's always think about you, and in particular if the ex is a guy. Not gloating here but its not wise to go right into a relationship with someone who has just gone through a breakup. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 So what she said could actually be an indication of her actually wanting him back???? I read all about rebound on here and really didn't think I was in one-he was the one who dumped her for partying too much and all the time. Then I came along and it's what she wanted. Maybe she's looking back at him differently now?? So people do get back together after rebounds?? I read what to do if your ex is in a rebound-that guy must have read it too-that's what's scaring me is that he's not begging or anything he has just gone with the flow whereas I'm the opposite of him...I wonder after all this time if she's just begining to compare us or something??? Link to post Share on other sites
iamawesome Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 So people do get back together after rebounds?? It's not black and white like that. I know three couples who got back with their ex's and actually made things work successfully with effort and maturity (after a rebound). You won't get a good picture online, because most people go online to post their failures to get support. When things work out, they usually don't come back with updates. So to answer you question yes it is possible. I think in most cases it is unlikely, but still very possible. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 OP, re-read this excellent observation from VeveCakes: No she probably won't get with him, she will get with someone new and leave you both in the dust. She's using you dude. The bottom line isn't if she will choose him, its WHY ON EARTH YOU WOULD LET YOURSELF GET TREATED THIS WAY!!! Having been a tool for MW's enough times, it's a message I support Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Well I haven't posted here in about a year, so here we go. Earlier, you asked rather she could be toying around with him, or could she be really serious about the (sex and other sistuations) thats shes talking to him about....the answer is NO and YES... How do I know??? I've gone through it twice in my former relationships, wiuth girls around the same age as her. After my ex gf and I broke up, we did still have sexual attention between eachother, I was easily able to come on to her without much resistance, and not only in my personal life, I know friends that have had this same issue as well. My ex would text me, and we would sometimes talk nasty, sometimes she would send me nude pictures, and etc.. Now you ask could she just be leading him on??...my opinion is NO, without a doubt she would act on the texts...meaning that if they ever came into interaction, there's a 92% chance that she would actually have sex with him... Would she actually leave you for him? My answer is also NO, I have seen plenty of girls have sexual relations with the ex, but when it comes down to actually getting back together with them, they refuse to, as in they don't think that there worth getting back together. You can search through OLDER threads to back up my claim, plenty of threads on loveshack have consisted of a EX GF having sex with the EX BF, but not going back to the EX BF. In this case this could also be known as keeping the EX on the back burner. Conclusion - Yes she does mean the sex part (which is cheating) 30% chance that she would ever actually leave you for him. Should you leave her? Yes you should, she sending him sexual text, therefore she is not all she's built up to be. Link to post Share on other sites
WiseOne1 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 No she probably won't get with him, she will get with someone new and leave you both in the dust. She's using you dude. The bottom line isn't if she will choose him, its WHY ON EARTH YOU WOULD LET YOURSELF GET TREATED THIS WAY!!! I agree with this, she is using both of you guys, most likely she'll break cleanly away from both of you and get a NEW guy. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 I also feel the ex bf is using her for an ego boost. Acting cool, etc. He hasn't made a move yet, I doubt he even wants her back. This is a mess, seriously get out now. Link to post Share on other sites
tgr172 Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Wise one has a point. I have had some lurid emails with ex's that I have broken up with while they are with a new boyfriend. And in no case did they ever come close to wanting to make good on the teasing. I think it was an ego thing to make them feel that I missed them and they were still attractive, Sort of like dressing sexy and getting angry because guys look you over. lol. However I always lost respect for the guy because he thought she was all into him and she was doing that behind his back. I know it sounds wrong cause he had no clue but it still made me feel that he was a chump. Ive been one myself a few times. lol. Man dont let her make a chump out of you. Dont wait for her to make you look silly. The best feeling is to get the high ground and drop her. That is one thing that you shouldnt tolerate. Even though she probably wouldnt do him ., she is making you look silly. Almost as bad. Get your honor and integrety back. Can her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 That's what I've been trying to say the whole time-that she doesn't want him back she's just playing with him. I will say that when she started talking really sexually to him he got really sexual back and just knowing her was probably getting turned on for real and that hurts the most. Now I feel terrible about he things I've said to her during our fights-I know he would never have done that. Hopefully he'll just go away and won't be around anymore...It's just scary because I know she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and now he's looking good evidently to her in comparison to me...One other thing that may be stupid but I read it somwhere on here is that she's been sending him pictures of her dog (that they got together)-that he loved too and telling him how much the dog misses him-what bothers me about that is I read that saying the pet misses you is another way of saying that all of you should be together-Sounds stupid but it's what I've gathered- So everyone knows I'm going to confront her but not right now. If she continues or contacts him again then I'll do it. I'm just hoping he'll leave her mind somehow....Another question-what if she does contact him but nothing like I've read just casual?? does that mean he's still on her mind too?? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 To quote that Captain of the Titanic, "Oh, that's just a little ice ahead." You need to confront her on this. I don't think you will because you are afraid of what she'll have to say. You'll do it the next time, right? Then the next time will be different, so you'll do it the next time. Then you'll do it next week. Then you'll do it tomorrow. Be a man for God's sakes! What's it going to take? Her kissing you, you tasting the salty aftertaste of her ex's schlong? Ignoring it will clearly make it worse. To quote the BP Chairman, "Oh, those warning bells aren't really for anything major." Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 Ok not to re-beat a dead horse I have to add this. Back in the begining of October she emailed him this- "I hope you know I never meant to hurt you in any way, I don' think you've every understood the way I felt for you. I don't want to take up your time thank you for still talking to me I still and always will love you and the same goes for (the dog) ur still his daddy. You are the one true love of my life and nobody will ever ever compare. I miss you you always cross my mind sorry I shouldn't say that but I did and it sucks and I don't think it will ever go away" I just read that one-never read it before............WTF!!! I think that may hurt worse than the sexting sexy talk they had with each other....I guess people do really end up wanting their ex back after a rebound-I just really thought we were in too deep together for that to be a reality.....That was over a month ago.By the way she did used to say that he wants her back so I am afraid that he still may otherwise I doubt he would talk to her Link to post Share on other sites
ARISthess Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 That's what I've been trying to say the whole time-that she doesn't want him back she's just playing with him. I will say that when she started talking really sexually to him he got really sexual back and just knowing her was probably getting turned on for real and that hurts the most. Now I feel terrible about he things I've said to her during our fights-I know he would never have done that. Hopefully he'll just go away and won't be around anymore...It's just scary because I know she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him and now he's looking good evidently to her in comparison to me...One other thing that may be stupid but I read it somwhere on here is that she's been sending him pictures of her dog (that they got together)-that he loved too and telling him how much the dog misses him-what bothers me about that is I read that saying the pet misses you is another way of saying that all of you should be together-Sounds stupid but it's what I've gathered- So everyone knows I'm going to confront her but not right now. If she continues or contacts him again then I'll do it. I'm just hoping he'll leave her mind somehow....Another question-what if she does contact him but nothing like I've read just casual?? does that mean he's still on her mind too?? Man... he is 34 and she is 23, and they had a 3 year relationship. He knows her a lot better than you, and when i say knows her I mean what buttons to push and how to manipulate her. Theres a good chance he doesn't want her back, but when he wants to have sex with her again he will. No matter how you look at it, your in a bad situation. Link to post Share on other sites
ARISthess Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 ok not to re-beat a dead horse i have to add this. Back in the begining of october she emailed him this- "i hope you know i never meant to hurt you in any way, i don' think you've every understood the way i felt for you. I don't want to take up your time thank you for still talking to me i still and always will love you and the same goes for (the dog) ur still his daddy. You are the one true love of my life and nobody will ever ever compare. I miss you you always cross my mind sorry i shouldn't say that but i did and it sucks and i don't think it will ever go away" i just read that one-never read it before............wtf!!! I think that may hurt worse than the sexting sexy talk they had with each other....i guess people do really end up wanting their ex back after a rebound-i just really thought we were in too deep together for that to be a reality.....that was over a month ago.by the way she did used to say that he wants her back so i am afraid that he still may otherwise i doubt he would talk to her good! Now that you've realized it, its time you start planning the way you're going to get out of this Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwhy1 Posted November 9, 2010 Author Share Posted November 9, 2010 Aristhess..That's why I was worried the whole time because he's 34 and I'm a younger and I'm sure less mature and have demonstrated that. Another thing I read was she like wanted to let him know that she has a new job right by his house-Normally I would ask why she told him this but it was probably to let him know she is near- I don't know Link to post Share on other sites
ARISthess Posted November 9, 2010 Share Posted November 9, 2010 Aristhess..That's why I was worried the whole time because he's 34 and I'm a younger and I'm sure less mature and have demonstrated that. Another thing I read was she like wanted to let him know that she has a new job right by his house-Normally I would ask why she told him this but it was probably to let him know she is near- I don't know Its not just that he is older... he was with her for 3 years... he played a big part in what she is today. By telling him this she is letting him know that she's available and giving him the option of initiating something. You need to start thinking about how you're going to grab your stuff and leave. Link to post Share on other sites
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