My step-sister is acting weird...

[Dazzel]

This thread has been a very interesting read! If you talk to your parents about it, please let us know what happens. Good luck to you two.

[stepkidkevin]

This thread has been a very interesting read! If you talk to your parents about it, please let us know what happens. Good luck to you two.

 

I will. Trust me, my pulse has been elevated for months now and the stress has only increased. Whenever stepsis and I are in the same room as our parents I'm afraid stepsis will slip and call me "sweetie" or something.

 

For whatever reason this forum doesn't allow private messages so if any of you guys want to chat or anything, you can hit me up at [email protected]

 

I appreciate you guys listening to my situation.

[Green]

People always act different when alone with some one. Your parents are authority figures which is only more reason for her to act different in their presence. These rules would apply even if she didn’t lust for you. If you weren’t her step brother but her boyfriend for example she would still act different with you in front of parents.

 

But you knew all along she was flirting with you.

 

I was in a situation similar to yours. When I was 14 my father dated a woman who had a 17 year old daughter. She was beautiful and I noticed. She never became my Step sister, but my father dated her mother for over a year and she would often be hanging out at our house. Even though I was just entering High School and she was on her way out she still flirted with me and I loved it. I would have kissed her or even had sex with out thinking if she made it clear that’s what she wanted.

You are in a different situation then I was in because a) you are older then I was b) you father is actually married to this girls mother as opposed to just dating her.

Are you a virgin?

You will be better off if you don’t have sex and stop your romantic relationship with this girl. I don’t fault you for enjoying or being excited by all of this. It has made a great story. When your dad and her mother got together this kind of thing was probably a big fear of theirs. If you two take this romantic relationship farther all signs point to it ending bad for all involved including your father.

If you do continue this into a sexual relationship I don’t judge you. I realize your dad got you into this mess by making you live with a cute girl your own age. I just really hope you and your dad have an honest open conversation before anything else happens.

[stepkidkevin]

Lol' date=' you haven't told us your experience with your step sis. Maybe you had a sweet and sour experience![/quote']

 

You didn't read this...

 

"THanks, guys. Yeah, it did take a lot of willpower when we talked Friday night not to just be more physical. I have to admit that I had a boner when we kissed and for most of the rest of the night. lol

 

Stepsis and I went out to have a longer, more private talk this morning. We went out to a park that's kind of out of town for privacy. We spent a few hours there just walking around and talking. We did hold hands for most of the visit, but at least we came out and were honest with each other.

 

She admitted more stuff to me, about how she had to pretend to be kind of bitchy to me almost ever since we met to hide her feelings. She knew that our parents were probably serious and just figured that I would reject outright because our parents were dating. So, for all that time she was kind of using a poker face but she admitted that she had strong feelings for me pretty early.

 

Our parents, when they first started dating, used to take all of us out for lunch and stuff on the weekend. We'd go to a restaurant or coffee shop, then go shopping or to a movie or something. Stepsis said that those days were the worst because she had to constantly pretend that she didn't think much of me, like being dismissive whenever I'd make a comment or a joke.

 

Anyways, we ended up deciding that we should think more about things for a little while and if we thought that the attraction wasn't going to go away that we should at least come out to our parents and let them know how we feel.

 

I don't know. It's a confusing time and I'm kind of worried about the near future. I'm worried because, especially now, I'm going to be more tempted by stepsis because I know how she feels and she knows how I feel. I know that if I just asked her, we could be having sex, but I'm trying hard to not fall into that. Trust me, being a single guy in the situation is like Chinese water torture, lol. I want to pull my hair out sometimes. I feel like a witch has cursed me with blue balls. lol

 

Another thing I'm worried about is what our parents are going to say. I think they're going to freak out. I don't know. I'll let you guys know what happens. Probably write back in a few days."

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I too emphasize being direct and complete with your parents before you complicate the picture with sex or even heavy (heaviER) making-out.

 

For I still cannot decide (for both of you, both of your parents, AND everyone at LS here) for sure that it is certain to be able to work for you in your environment there at home.

 

SO IF, reluctantly, you are (effectively 'forced') (by unreasonable parents/response) to NOT act on all of this, you DON'T want to have so much invested to where SEX is already on the table.

 

I understand you were considering moving away from home, and yeah, you'd be able to (call your own shots legally and all)... but "family" would still be significant on both sides... and this is NOT one of those situations where ONE partner's side of the family is putting a damper on a romance... this would/could have DOUBLE those implications, and in stereo. PLUS, there wouldn't BE an 'other' side of the couple to provide relief.

 

Go in there optimistic, and be direct, and take your chances... at any rate, everybody loves one another, so with that sort of surroundings you DO have a reasonable chance of being heard and respected.

 

Such a unique 'problem' to have... and it sounds so full of potential for you both. (not forgotten would be the significant 'communication' barriers that some young couples know, just because that's normal for two people perhaps exploring their first-ever 'thrust-together relationship'... with you guys already choreographing your time in the bathroom in the morning, and y'know, whatever... whose food is on which shelf in the fridge, and what sort of yogurt she likes... whatever... you truly have a better chance at hitting the ground running toward a significant relationship.

 

I look forward to the next few chapters.

[stepkidkevin]

Well, a lot happened over the weekend. I had a long conversation with Lacey(my stepsis) on Saturday night. We talked face to face for, like, an hour but our parents were back and forthing in the living room so we had to go to our rooms to chat online. I know, it;s weird but we had no other choice.

 

Anyways, we talked more about the situation. We known each other for about 3 years, or maybe a little more than 3 years(my dad dated her mom for about a year before they got hitched and my stepmom and Lacey moved in) and we realized tha we have a lot in common, just little stuff that is kind of important. We like watching old black and white silent movies and we don't know ANYONE else who does, especially our friends. Just stuff like that.

 

So, anyways, point is that we realized that there's an attraction there and we've been around each other long enough to know stuff about each other and this isn't just a thing where we want each other sexually(even though we do). We talked about how even if I moved out, the feelings wouldn't go away and eventually we'd be together, even if we broke up and it put stress on the family. We can't avoid it.

 

So, on Sunday, my stepmom and Lacey went to my stepmom's friend's party and I got a chance to talk to my dad. My dad's a pretty laid back guy and isn't the super authoritative, angry smashing things type dad so I felt at ease talking to him. He was working on his car so I felt a little better, like he was distracted and his attention wasn't entirely on me. So, anyhow, through the chit chat I bring up the stuff that had been happening with Lacey.

 

He looked at me in a way like he knew where the conversation was going and as if he'd been waiting for the moment for awhile. He said that he knew SOMETHING was up but didn't want to think it was true. He actually apologized for bringing Lacey into the house, knowing it would probably complicate things between her and I. Our parents had a bunch of talks about it while they were dating and after they got married, but Lacey and I didnt know it.

 

Long story short, he realized that the feelings I said we had for each other could maybe be real, but that we'd have to figure it out for ourselves. All he told me was that we need to be smart about things and that if things went bad between Lacey and I, to know that he warned me. He told me that he wasn't going to forbid me from being with Lacey but that he didn't want to see any kind of "monkey business" going on in his house. He wanted us to be discreet and not be open about that kind of stuff around him and my stepmom. He was surprisingly pretty calm through the whole thing. I didn't expect him to react this way at all.

 

That night, when Lacey and my stepmom came home, my dad told my stepmom when they were getting ready for bed about the conversation he and I had. My stepmom came to me in my room and we had a real calm conversation about everything(my stepmom is cool as hell) and she just told me to be good to Lacey, that Lacey likes me a lot, and that I need to be aware of what it would mean if we were together and, God forbid, if she got pregnant or anything.

 

She told me that she knew that she believed from the outset that Lacey and I would probably at least have some kind of infatuation and that she knew Lacey had some interest in me early on. But, being in love with my dad, they decided to risk it and get married anyways.

 

She said that if we eventually decided to be together, that we just needed to be smart(like dad, like stepmom, lol) and to try and think with our brains and not our "other" brains.

 

So, all in all, the pressure is even GREATER now because my dad and stepmom really won't be mad if Lacey and I get together. They realized that it would be too much to ask for two people our age to just be cool with living together. In a way, my dad and stepmom are kind of guilty, in away, that's why they're not mad.

 

So, Lacey and I have been talking about what we want to do now, since we kind of have permission to do whatever we want, as long as we're smart and respectful about it.

 

We haven't had sex or anything. The most we've done is kiss and maybe a LITTLE groping. I'm mostly guilty of the groping, but now the problem is just deciding what we're going to do, if anything...

 

So, things aren't less complicated now, they're MORE complicated. lol

[Green]

I know it may be to hard to pass up. And yeah of course your parents could have predicted something like this...... but you REALLY would be wise to COOL things down. Just tell your step sister "I really like you but wouldn't it be great if we just stayed sister and bros, if things go wrong we will have made comming home a nightmare" Seriously I don't know if I could have resisted an attractive girl just because she was my step sister ... but seriously you would be really wise to just end it on a good not "I just can't I'm sorry if we ever broke up even 2 years down the line things could turn ugly real ugly"

[SincereOnlineGuy]

God, what are you - a fiction writer??? (tone of being in awe)

 

 

I love that your parents considered all of the angles in advance, and that they were ready for the eventuality.

 

I DISAGREE about there being more pressure, and about things being more complicated.

 

Me thinks you should translate that to: "NOW I have to pick and choose my own path, because nobody is there to hand me a "Go directly to Jail - do not pass 'Go', do not collect $200" card.

 

Oh, I totally love that you chatted on the computer when you couldn't have the discussion out loud.

 

I don't think your parents are DIRECTLY "guilty"... but they deserve a lot more credit than some will give themselves... they went right ahead and LIVED their own lives even despite having kids.

 

That flies in the face of the opposite crazy notion of "staying married for the kids"...

 

I think your parents showed you the good that could come from their being allowed to set examples of what 'love' really is, instead of trying to fool you with something obviously false (that would have been staying with past spouses, unhappily, 'just for you' ).

 

Anyway, it doesn't matter which choice you make... but I'm sure you and "Lacey" can have very sincere and deep communication on the subject like others your own age could only dream about. (because you already HAVE considerable familiarity with one another)

[stepkidkevin]

 

Oh, I totally love that you chatted on the computer when you couldn't have the discussion out loud.

 

I don't think your parents are DIRECTLY "guilty"... but they deserve a lot more credit than some will give themselves... they went right ahead and LIVED their own lives even despite having kids.

 

 

By them being guilty I meant that they feel guilty. At least that's how it's seemed.

 

Lacey and I chat online a lot, actually. She spends a lot of time in her room and when I'm online I get messages from her on my Facebook or if I've got MSN messenger open. It's kinda silly because she's less than 50 feet away, but I'm guilty of the same thing because I send messages to my dad's Facebook when he's just in the other room. lol

[xpaperxcutx]

Okay this is too weird. If I were you, I would never even consider going after someone I consider family. Not only is it unethical, but at your age, what little romance you may have will only be fleeting.

 

I really don't know how to take you seriously. After all, if your sister never came clean about her crush on you, would you have even considered about being with her?

 

You really need to move out and get your priorities straight. I'll willing to bet that you moved out and met more people, your sister would be far from your mind.

[stepkidkevin]

Okay this is too weird. If I were you, I would never even consider going after someone I consider family. Not only is it unethical, but at your age, what little romance you may have will only be fleeting.

 

I really don't know how to take you seriously. After all, if your sister never came clean about her crush on you, would you have even considered about being with her?

 

You really need to move out and get your priorities straight. I'll willing to bet that you moved out and met more people, your sister would be far from your mind.

 

I was thinking about moving out anyways. I think that, if anything, that's a cxhange of pace in my life that might give me a little more control. Right now I feel kinda out of control in my parents' house with Lacey around every corner. I obviously care about her a lot but I think the constant exposure and temptation(her being cute doesn't help my situation) makes it difficult for me to THINK. I think that moving out will allow me to breathe and think more clearly.

[FanFan]

I was thinking about moving out anyways. I think that, if anything, that's a cxhange of pace in my life that might give me a little more control. Right now I feel kinda out of control in my parents' house with Lacey around every corner. I obviously care about her a lot but I think the constant exposure and temptation(her being cute doesn't help my situation) makes it difficult for me to THINK. I think that moving out will allow me to breathe and think more clearly.

 

What does your mom and her dad think about all this?

[stepkidkevin]

What does your mom and her dad think about all this?

 

About me moving out? I'd discussed it with my dad before and he's cool with it. He knows I don't want to live at home forever. I think he knows more now than before, especially with everything that's happened with Lacey. It makes more sense to him now I think that I'd want to move out so I could have some space to think. I'm pretty conflicted right now because I care about Lacey a lot but I love my dad and stepmom and don't want to do anything to screw up the family. They're totally cool with me, though, and what's been happening. Well, maybe not totally cool but they understand why it's happened and are not mad at me or Lacey.

 

Me moving out could help to put things in perspective, maybe for both me and Lacey. It gets tougher every day because Lacey isn't real aggressive but she makes it known pretty constantly how she feels about me, usually just with little things, like looks or smiles or whatever. I know what she's thinking when she does these things. She doesn't feel comfortable being really talkative about everything in the house because of our parents so it's usually just her being extra nice to me to send a message. I don't know. I'll be hashing things out. Maybe I can just room in with someone. I have friends that have their own apartments so we'll see.

[Green]

Hey man if you are living at home for FREE and close to your SCHOOL or WORK... YOU have a good thing. Wanting to move out and get a room mate is fun just don't be in a rush. Try to end it with ur step sis or atleast cool it down.

[FanFan]

About me moving out?

 

How does your mom feel about your relationship with your step sis? Does she know? When are you going to tell her?

 

What about your step sis's dad? Is he going to be against it?

[NoLongerSad]

Modern Love.

[stepkidkevin]

How does your mom feel about your relationship with your step sis? Does she know? When are you going to tell her?

 

What about your step sis's dad? Is he going to be against it?

 

I did talk to my stepmom about Lacey and me. I mentioned it in one of my last posts.

 

"My stepmom came to me in my room and we had a real calm conversation about everything(my stepmom is cool as hell) and she just told me to be good to Lacey, that Lacey likes me a lot, and that I need to be aware of what it would mean if we were together and, God forbid, if she got pregnant or anything.

 

She told me that she knew that she believed from the outset that Lacey and I would probably at least have some kind of infatuation and that she knew Lacey had some interest in me early on. But, being in love with my dad, they decided to risk it and get married anyways.

 

She said that if we eventually decided to be together, that we just needed to be smart(like dad, like stepmom, lol) and to try and think with our brains and not our "other" brains."

 

As for Lacey's dad, he's a no show. From what I've heard of the guy he's a deadbeat. He never tries to call or see Lacey and she hasn't heard from him since I've known her. Hasn't seen her in around five years, I think. Like I said, he's a jackass.

[FanFan]

I did talk to my stepmom about Lacey and me. I mentioned it in one of my last posts.

 

I am talking about your mom; your biological mom.

[whichwayisup]

Seems like this whole thing has to play out as it will. Whatever connection you two have is strong.

 

I can understand your reasonings to move out, to think, to reassess the situation, detach etc but the thing is, she is still there and will be for the rest of your life.

 

Yes it's an odd and different situation. yet you two are NOT blood relatives. I'm am sure this happens alot more often than we all realize, just noone has the guts to post about it. I've read tons of posts of cousins falling for eachother, but not step siblings.

 

If moving out is going to help you, do it. Use that time to figure out what is best for you.

[stepkidkevin]

I am talking about your mom; your biological mom.

 

Oh! Crap, no, I haven't told her. lol I don't know, I don't want to stress her out and bring about more potential drama between her and my dad. They're on pretty good terms right now and have been for awhile so me bringing it up to my mom could open up a huge can of worms.

[FanFan]

Oh! Crap, no, I haven't told her. lol I don't know, I don't want to stress her out and bring about more potential drama between her and my dad. They're on pretty good terms right now and have been for awhile so me bringing it up to my mom could open up a huge can of worms.

 

How long have they been seperated? Was your dad seeing your step-mom while your mom and your dad are still legally married?

[stepkidkevin]

How long have they been seperated? Was your dad seeing your step-mom while your mom and your dad are still legally married?

 

Was my dad seeing my stepmom when he was still married? No. My parents were divorced for awhile before my dad started dating.

[FanFan]

Was my dad seeing my stepmom when he was still married? No. My parents were divorced for awhile before my dad started dating.

 

What caused the break up? Are you close to your mom?

 

Would she be pissed if she find out from anyone other than you that you're dating your step sis?

[stepkidkevin]

Seems like this whole thing has to play out as it will. Whatever connection you two have is strong.

 

I can understand your reasonings to move out, to think, to reassess the situation, detach etc but the thing is, she is still there and will be for the rest of your life.

 

Yes it's an odd and different situation. yet you two are NOT blood relatives. I'm am sure this happens alot more often than we all realize, just noone has the guts to post about it. I've read tons of posts of cousins falling for eachother, but not step siblings.

 

If moving out is going to help you, do it. Use that time to figure out what is best for you.

 

Yeah, I guess moving out is my way to escape. Not exactly the bravest thing to do, lol, but I'm considering it. It sucks because I think of Lacey as my friend AND my sister because of how we get along, but obviously there are moments of attraction that we both feel and being in the same house all the time... it's like a constant test. I'm distracted like, all the time, even if she's not in the same room as I am because I know she's in the house.

 

It is a really odd situation. I've said it before but aside from having just told my parents, none of my friends or anything know and I won't tell them. If it wasn't for this forum letting me vent, I'd go insane! lol

[stepkidkevin]

What caused the break up? Are you close to your mom?

 

Would she be pissed if she find out from anyone other than you that you're dating your step sis?

 

It was years ago but I just remember my parents arguing a lot. I guess it happens to a lot of married people. I always had the feeling when I was little that they only stayed together for me. I was kind of relieved when they got divorced because I didn't feel as guilty and knew it was the right thing for them even though I selfishly just wanted them to stay together. I knew that they just kind of didn't get along anymore. It took awhile but I got over them splitting.

 

My mom won't find out that anything has gone on with Lacey unless I told her.

 

She never even met Lacey face to face yet. I think she saw her a few times when she came to pick me up at my dad's house and my stepmom and Lacey were there but there weren't any introductions or anything. My mom has made a few comments in the recent past about whether Lacey and I were getting along, and I just said that we were. I don't know if she suspects anything.