Dude's going to blow it...

[sumdude]

Well what this thread has shown me is that once again a man can never show his ass to a woman or anyone else for that matter. Never, but never let them see ya sweat. Do not show any weakness lest ye be cast aside as just another wanna be.

 

This is the way of the world gentlemen. Accept it or regret it.

 

You know D, just give him a couple more chances. Knowing some of your more recent posts it seems like part of you almost expects things not to work out. So you may be looking for problems a bit too soon.

[D-Lish]

It sounds like this guy was doing every thing right until he got anxious and sent that insecure text. He made that one false move.

 

 

 

He did make that false move, good way of putting it. I am trying NOT to run away from that.

 

I am comfortable at 4 months or something, seeing this type of behavior- but off the get-go? I got that second text and I hung my head and I said outloud "noooo, don't go there!"

 

Green is actually spot on in a lot of what he is saying.

[D-Lish]

Well what this thread has shown me is that once again a man can never show his ass to a woman or anyone else for that matter. Never, but never let them see ya sweat. Do not show any weakness lest ye be cast aside as just another wanna be.

 

This is the way of the world gentlemen. Accept it or regret it.

 

You know D, just give him a couple more chances. Knowing some of your more recent posts it seems like part of you almost expects things not to work out. So you may be looking for problems a bit too soon.

 

 

Sum, my issue is that it's just not good to show your ass to a woman after the second date.

 

Just be patient to reveal insecurities.

 

I mean, it was 4 hours in between him asking and me responding.

[Sabali]

He did make that false move, good way of putting it. I am trying NOT to run away from that.

 

I am comfortable at 4 months or something, seeing this type of behavior- but off the get-go? I got that second text and I hung my head and I said outloud "noooo, don't go there!"

 

Green is actually spot on in a lot of what he is saying.

 

 

Oh, yeah. We sent Green in from headquarters to handle this one.

 

 

This guy set himself up. He set himself up the moment he sent that text. It was an anxious moment for him the second he pushed that send button.

[northern_sky]

Methinks Green is trying to cockblock this fellow.

 

D, I'm concerned that you're so quick on the trigger. I think your deep trust issues resulting from your exH are making you overly critical of new prospects. I agree that his texts were a turn off, but I would forget them for now and start anew on your third date. If you come off as colder, he'll assume that his concerns about you losing interest were justified and he may behave with even more insecurity.

[D-Lish]

Oh, yeah. We sent Green in from headquarters to handle this one.

 

 

This guy set himself up. He set himself up the moment he sent that text. It was an anxious moment for him the second he pushed that send button.

 

I agree, so how should I handle it Sab?

 

I actually left our lunch thinking OMG, hope this guy calls me.

 

I've been crazy and insecure on the inside, but I just stuff it down.

 

I want him to stuff it down too, ya know?

 

Some people are thinking I am being a huge bitch by having these feelings, but the first few weeks are all about impressions. I can't change how an impression impacts me.

 

The way it stands now, I like him- I just didn't need to see the insecurity so soon. I am seeing him tomorrow.

 

Honestly, I sat across the table from this guy on the first date and just loved his smile- and I felt insecure! I'd never let him know it though.

[welikeincrowds]

Well, you have three choices.

 

Either you engage in some kind of Pavlovian behavioral technique -- which can work, and we do it naturally to some extent -- but also may be a lot of effort for uncertain gains...

 

...or, you tell him straight up. Next time he says something you don't like, remind him that if you lose interest, you'll make sure he knows.

 

Your last choice is to scratch your plan of influence and find it within your libido to ignore/forgive him.

[TheMENemy]

Sorry to say DLish but the guy is one perceptive dude.

 

He has good reason to be nervous about whether you really like him all that much.

 

This entire thread is about how you DON'T like him because of an arbitrary style quirk, that, in the great scheme of things, is most likely absolutely meaningless.

 

It sounds like you are looking for reasons to NOT like this guy.

 

You know what? People going on dates get nervous. Real nervous. Men who are not players, men who have been out of the dating pool for a while, men who are dating extremely attractive women (you)--they get real nervous. Maybe this guy has NEVER dated anyone as attractive as you. That might make a fella REAL nervous.

 

(But I also have a sneaking suspicion that you were giving this guy some mixed signals on your dates.)

 

That's an honest, normal reaction. The guy's only mistake is that somehow he's bought into the fiction that women want men to be honest about their emotions. No, that's not actually true--women want the big strong alpha, the bad boy, the guy with nerves of steel.

 

Well guess what honey, we're not all like that.

 

At your age no matter how well preserved you are even if you do get Mr. Alpha most likely it will just be wham bam thank you maam because he will be looking for younger flesh for the longer term.

 

Everyone is infuriated at the guy for being a nervous nellie nebbish and yes I understand why, the guy has no "game."

 

Frankly "nexting" the guy because he's nervous about dating you is very short sighted.

[TheMENemy]

I don't think that is what he was doing at all. She kind of left him hanging after the last date for about 4 days. He was expressing his feelings about her slowness to contact him. How did you not get that? That's why he used the frowny face. This wasn't about validation. It was about expressing how she is making him feel.

 

I mean... he should not have to be trying to firm up plans the day of. She should have contacted him between that time. Plus since he was the first to reach out to her... he had no idea she was not in a place to respond quickly.

 

Also I did not see in her response any kind of apology or explanation for responding in a slow manner... which would be the polite thing to do when someone is trying to plan their day around you.

 

That is how I read his reaction.

 

 

I didn't know that. If a guy was pulling this stuff on a girl, most here would probably think he was running some kind of game on her. Doesn't mean D Lish is doing that, but the guy is legitimately concerned about her level of interest.

[TheMENemy]

I agree with Trinity (about the control issues) and Erica. Give him another chance, D, but definitely be on the lookout for more of that stuff. A certain person acted that way with me more than once, and of course you know the chaos that turned into.

 

I don't know who trinity is but Tigress you're one of the resident mistresses of totally dysfunctional relationships around here and Erica's opinions on male/female dynamics strike me as coming from somewhere out of a James Hilton novel.

 

Little Tiger, however, and although most of her stuff I tend to disagree with, seems exactly right in this thread.

[TheMENemy]

See how it goes next time you meet him

 

Self-deprecating humour is great in small doses; shows, in some cases, that someone can have a laugh at himself and not take things too seriously. This conveys confidence. Too much of it and it shows self-esteem.

 

I agree with the ":-(", that could be a real downer on someone's mood, but yeah, see how it goes.

 

 

 

So let's assume this guy has a bad self esteem problem.

 

That makes the guy undateable regardless of everything else about him?

 

LOL.

 

I'll bet if he gets into a serious relationship with someone as hot as DLish his self esteem will pick up in a hurry.

 

That's the beauty of successful relationships between two people: they can complement weaknesses in each other.

 

There are so so so so MANY FAR WORSE personality flaws that people have, and lack of self esteem is considered a deal killer?

 

Oh man that is so picky.

 

Maybe it's just when he's dating a new person, a beautiful women, that he lacks self esteem.

[TheMENemy]

Obviously the OP was never that interested in the 35-year-old guy in the first place, regardless of what she wrote in her post. That's the only explanation as to why that silly text would be so troubling to her.

 

You people seem to think that this guy is incredibly needy or insecure. Maybe he is, or maybe he is an inexperienced dater and doesn't know how he is supposed to behave. Maybe the OP has also been unknowingly giving him mixed signals?

 

The OP must be pretty hot to get away with being this picky at age 41. So I suppose that the OP will probably end this soon and the 35-year-old guy will learn his lesson the next time he dates. Next time he'll show far less emotion and will probably also be quick to end things if a woman does some seemingly insignificant thing that he thinks is annoying. I guess this will make him more of a "catch" and more desirable to women for reasons seem very illogical...

 

LOL I should have read the thread all the way through before posting....chicago guy is spot on here....

 

Of course as a 35 year old eligible guy he has all the options, if D Lish decides he's not good enough for her, he has a reasonably good chance of dating a 25 year old next week.

 

Maybe Dlish should think twice about letting this fish get away....sounds like he might be hooked....if she cuts this one loose, the next one might be an old boot or truck tire...

[TheMENemy]

I agree, so how should I handle it Sab?

 

I actually left our lunch thinking OMG, hope this guy calls me.

 

I've been crazy and insecure on the inside, but I just stuff it down.

 

I want him to stuff it down too, ya know?

 

Some people are thinking I am being a huge bitch by having these feelings, but the first few weeks are all about impressions. I can't change how an impression impacts me.

 

The way it stands now, I like him- I just didn't need to see the insecurity so soon. I am seeing him tomorrow.

 

Honestly, I sat across the table from this guy on the first date and just loved his smile- and I felt insecure! I'd never let him know it though.

 

Honey you're 41. You're very attractive but let's face it--how many realistic opportunities do you think there are, to bag a man in his 30's, whom you're attracted to, who apparently is not a drug addict, has a job, isn't married, doesn't have a gf, is heterosexual, and who seems very "into" you, and OBVIOUSLY is not a "player," so you won't have to worry so much of him having the roving eye?

 

OF COURSE the guy has self esteem problems. If he didn't, there'd have to be something else much more seriously wrong with him, a real deal breaker. THE ONLY THING THAT IS MAKING THIS GUY AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IS HIS TOTAL LACK OF SELF ESTEEM. IF HE HAD SELF ESTEEM HE WOULDN'T BE DATING A 41 YEAR OLD WOMAN, AT LEAST NOT ONE WHO HASN'T GIVEN HIM SEX YET!!!! HE'D BE DATING WOMEN 10-15 YEARS YOUNGER. WOMEN WHO GIVE HIM SEX ON THE FIRST DATE. WOMEN WHO THINK HE'S CONFIDENT BECAUSE HE'S FIVE/TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM.

 

Think about the logic of the situation.

 

Think also of the fact that as a 41 year old woman, your most likely dating range for a serious LTR is not 35 year old unattached (but somewhat clueless) men, it is guys your age, up to ten to 15 years older. Most likely with step children as part of the deal.

 

Do you really want to "go there"? Doesn't the prospect of dating a divorced, 50 year old man with two bratty teenagers who visit every other weekend TERRIFY you?

 

Lady you have the opportunity to dodge a bullet by grabbing this guy and not letting go, because while some 50 year olds may have the Patrick Stewart thing down cold, most of those guys are also banging 25 year old hotties.

 

It's a cold cruel world out there.

 

Now is the time when you have to decide whether you want to be alone with your ideal of perfection, or happy.

 

Choose.

[Green]

Honey you're 41. You're very attractive but let's face it--how many realistic opportunities do you think there are, to bag a man in his 30's, whom you're attracted to, who apparently is not a drug addict, has a job, isn't married, doesn't have a gf, is heterosexual, and who seems very "into" you, and OBVIOUSLY is not a "player," so you won't have to worry so much of him having the roving eye?

 

OF COURSE the guy has self esteem problems. If he didn't, there'd have to be something else much more seriously wrong with him, a real deal breaker. THE ONLY THING THAT IS MAKING THIS GUY AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IS HIS TOTAL LACK OF SELF ESTEEM. IF HE HAD SELF ESTEEM HE WOULDN'T BE DATING A 41 YEAR OLD WOMAN, AT LEAST NOT ONE WHO HASN'T GIVEN HIM SEX YET!!!! HE'D BE DATING WOMEN 10-15 YEARS YOUNGER. WOMEN WHO GIVE HIM SEX ON THE FIRST DATE. WOMEN WHO THINK HE'S CONFIDENT BECAUSE HE'S FIVE/TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM.

 

Think about the logic of the situation.

 

Think also of the fact that as a 41 year old woman, your most likely dating range for a serious LTR is not 35 year old unattached (but somewhat clueless) men, it is guys your age, up to ten to 15 years older. Most likely with step children as part of the deal.

 

Do you really want to "go there"? Doesn't the prospect of dating a divorced, 50 year old man with two bratty teenagers who visit every other weekend TERRIFY you?

 

Lady you have the opportunity to dodge a bullet by grabbing this guy and not letting go, because while some 50 year olds may have the Patrick Stewart thing down cold, most of those guys are also banging 25 year old hotties.

 

It's a cold cruel world out there.

 

Now is the time when you have to decide whether you want to be alone with your ideal of perfection, or happy.

 

Choose.

 

She's 41 and good looking she could easily be happy dating a rich cool 45-50 year old she really doesn't have to worry and take what she can get.

 

And even this insecure guy would be turned off by a 41 year old that seemed desperate to hook up with any man just cause she thought she was old.

 

Also she's going on another date with this guy so she is really giving him every chance in the world. If the date goes well she'll forget about all this stuff. Problem is if he acts like this on the date and becomes all insecure she might not want to see him anymore and really shouldn't.

 

also the flipside of your stupid argument that she is old and needs to take what she can get is that because of her age she shouldn't settle and should know better and make the right decisions where in the past she made the wrong decisions and dated insecure men.

 

Lets face it an insecure loser is more likely to cheat or leave you because he may have never liked you that much in the first place and only be dating you because he took what he could get.. kind of like a job you just take and quit when a better one comes along.

 

Yeah your advice is crap she will die alone if she goes into this relationship with I better just settle for what I can get because I'm 40

[LittleTiger]

Honey you're 41. You're very attractive but let's face it--how many realistic opportunities do you think there are, to bag a man in his 30's, whom you're attracted to, who apparently is not a drug addict, has a job, isn't married, doesn't have a gf, is heterosexual, and who seems very "into" you, and OBVIOUSLY is not a "player," so you won't have to worry so much of him having the roving eye?

 

OF COURSE the guy has self esteem problems. If he didn't, there'd have to be something else much more seriously wrong with him, a real deal breaker. THE ONLY THING THAT IS MAKING THIS GUY AVAILABLE TO YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE IS HIS TOTAL LACK OF SELF ESTEEM. IF HE HAD SELF ESTEEM HE WOULDN'T BE DATING A 41 YEAR OLD WOMAN, AT LEAST NOT ONE WHO HASN'T GIVEN HIM SEX YET!!!! HE'D BE DATING WOMEN 10-15 YEARS YOUNGER. WOMEN WHO GIVE HIM SEX ON THE FIRST DATE. WOMEN WHO THINK HE'S CONFIDENT BECAUSE HE'S FIVE/TEN YEARS OLDER THAN HIM.

 

Think about the logic of the situation.

 

Think also of the fact that as a 41 year old woman, your most likely dating range for a serious LTR is not 35 year old unattached (but somewhat clueless) men, it is guys your age, up to ten to 15 years older. Most likely with step children as part of the deal.

 

Do you really want to "go there"? Doesn't the prospect of dating a divorced, 50 year old man with two bratty teenagers who visit every other weekend TERRIFY you?

 

Lady you have the opportunity to dodge a bullet by grabbing this guy and not letting go, because while some 50 year olds may have the Patrick Stewart thing down cold, most of those guys are also banging 25 year old hotties.

 

It's a cold cruel world out there.

 

Now is the time when you have to decide whether you want to be alone with your ideal of perfection, or happy.

 

Choose.

 

OMG! ......and you were doing so well

[LittleTiger]

I actually left our lunch thinking OMG, hope this guy calls me.

 

I've been crazy and insecure on the inside, but I just stuff it down.

 

I want him to stuff it down too, ya know?

 

Some people are thinking I am being a huge bitch by having these feelings, but the first few weeks are all about impressions. I can't change how an impression impacts me.

 

The way it stands now, I like him- I just didn't need to see the insecurity so soon. I am seeing him tomorrow.

 

Honestly, I sat across the table from this guy on the first date and just loved his smile- and I felt insecure! I'd never let him know it though.

 

D-Lish, I don't think for one second that you are a 'huge bitch'. From what I've read on LS I think you seem like a lovely person......and I think you are very insecure and very afraid of becoming seriously involved with somebody in case you get hurt. As a result, you are looking for reasons not to fall for this guy.

 

What I find difficult to understand is that you, and other women here, have acknowledged that it is actually okay for a guy or girl to have insecurities BUT it's not okay for him, or her, to let the other person know about them too soon.

 

No doubt the vast majority of people will disagree with me but I think this is just another example of 'playing games'. We all display personas in various situations eg at work, some of us have to play 'confident' or 'in charge' or 'outgoing' or whatever, when that may not really be us. 99% of the time people in our worklife, who don't know us personally, will never get to see the other side of us.....because they don't need to.

 

However, in a relationship, the whole point of forming a romantic partnership with someone is to share yourself and your life. Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't everybody look for a man or woman who they can 'be themselves' with? Someone who loves them, respects them and accepts them for everything that they are?

 

If I'm right, then please tell me how 'hiding' the real you, or expecting your date to 'hide' the real him, is going to benefit either of you in the long run?

 

Believe me, if you're looking for a compatible partner, being 100% yourself and allowing the other person to do the same, is a far better way to find Mr or Ms Right than all this 'game playing' everybody seems to do these days.

 

Maybe I'm completely unique here, but I've always presented myself to prospective partners (and most other people) exactly as I am and, if I look back over my dating years I can honestly say that I have been very successful. I've had some great times and I've had my heart broken but I've never been through half the dating anguish that LSers seem to go through.

 

All I'm saying is 'try it'. Just be yourself and let the guy be himself and 'let it happen' naturally. You deserve a good guy D-Lish. Don't sabotage your chances by picking on a character trait you don't even object to, just because he 'played all his cards' too early. Even if his 'insecurities' aren't his most attractive trait, it shouldn't matter. When you're with him he turns you on. We can't ever be expected to be turned on by everything about our partners and some things that turn you on now may turn you off in future.

 

I know you've already said you're going to give this guy a chance and I really hope it works out for you. To me he seems very genuine, being genuine suggest integrity and, in my book, that is a major turn on.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I agree, so how should I handle it Sab?

I actually left our lunch thinking OMG, hope this guy calls me.

I've been crazy and insecure on the inside, but I just stuff it down.

I want him to stuff it down too, ya know?

Some people are thinking I am being a huge bitch by having these feelings, but the first few weeks are all about impressions. I can't change how an impression impacts me.

The way it stands now, I like him- I just didn't need to see the insecurity so soon. I am seeing him tomorrow.

Honestly, I sat across the table from this guy on the first date and just loved his smile- and I felt insecure! I'd never let him know it though.

 

DL, when I came back here after my breakup... when I was really hurting hard. You were the only person who was really nice to me.

 

I know your a fantastic person... and you are not going to cancel on this guy for something like this. Give it some time and see how it plays out. Just go slow and you will get the best outcome for sure!

[Sabali]

I want him to stuff it down too, ya know?

 

Some people are thinking I am being a huge bitch by having these feelings, but the first few weeks are all about impressions. I can't change how an impression impacts me.

 

Very true. We can't control what attracts us. It's an involuntary process. Many criticize other for having attractions as what they see as shallow but don't admit to the fact that they personally can't control certain traits that they are attracted to or not.

 

Attraction is very delicate in the beginning stages of dating and it must be handled well.

 

The fact is that many guys set themselves up like this for turning a woman of all of the time. We say "first she was hot and then she went cold." We agonize over what could we have done to make her go cold all of a sudden. Many times we don't know and this story is a good example of behavior that can specifically pointed to that is a turnoff.

 

In reality, if you area "huge bitch" for having these feelings it is because you are being straight up enough to admit to the feelings here. Other people throwing tomatoes here know that they have experienced similar feelings after being turned off but feels that they will be seen as shallow or being a "huge bitch" if they admit to them. It is what it is. It is reality.

 

 

I would give this guy another chance although it is likely this insecure behavior that is turning you off will likely escape his ability to contain it again. He hasn't completely destroyed things but our dating experience has shown us that this sort of insecure behavior usually doesn't disappear and that is why it sounded off the alarms in the head even though he was doing so well. He is given the benefit of the doubt because he has done every thing else well thus far.

 

There is an interest level safety factor here. He was high enough above the threshold of attracting you to make a mistake like this, drop a bit close to the threshold but is not under it yet. Hopefully, this was a quirk and he won't sink any more during the delicate stage. If things do not shoot back up, you don't have to feel guilty about what turns you off.

[TheMENemy]

She's 41 and good looking she could easily be happy dating a rich cool 45-50 year old she really doesn't have to worry and take what she can get.

 

If she wanted to date "older" guys she'd be doing it.

 

 

 

And even this insecure guy would be turned off by a 41 year old that seemed desperate to hook up with any man just cause she thought she was old.

 

 

Who said she was "desperate"? Who said she wanted to hook up with "any man"? IMO she's being too picky, she basically said she really likes this guy, but she's finding reasons not to. A little reality check once in a while doesn't hurt.

 

 

Also she's going on another date with this guy so she is really giving him every chance in the world. If the date goes well she'll forget about all this stuff. Problem is if he acts like this on the date and becomes all insecure she might not want to see him anymore and really shouldn't.

 

Green, with all respect, you post some interesting things, but you really are looking through things from the wrong end of the telescope here.

 

You're in your early 20's, right? You can afford to spend the next 5-10 years and maybe even more than that experimenting with relationships, and making mistakes. Others can't.

 

 

 

also the flipside of your stupid argument that she is old

 

I didn't say she was "old"

 

 

and needs to take what she can get

 

I didn't say she should take what she can get

 

is that because of her age she shouldn't settle and should know better and make the right decisions where in the past she made the wrong decisions and dated insecure men.

 

I don't know if you're aware but she was married to some guy who then cheated on her, destroying the marriage. That was eight years ago and she still feels it. So no--focusing on someone's personality flaw of insecurity is not really a good idea since that's not a "critical" personality flaw. That's like a man rejecting a woman because she's 20 lbs. overweight.

 

 

 

Lets face it an insecure loser is more likely to cheat or leave you because he may have never liked you that much in the first place and only be dating you because he took what he could get.. kind of like a job you just take and quit when a better one comes along.

 

Whoa okay. If you think that somehow the guy is a cheater then yeah of course, but insecurity = a cheater is not a connection I've ever heard of before. I think you're reaching here.

 

 

Yeah your advice is crap she will die alone if she goes into this relationship with I better just settle for what I can get because I'm 40

 

No, people, in general, will die alone if they have unrealistic expectations of perfection in potential partners.

 

That's something you don't have to worry about, may never have to worry about, and have a good 10-15 and maybe 20 years before you will even have the potential of having to worry about.

 

Anyone who is 41, man or woman, wants to be in a relationship (as DLish clearly does--she doesn't strike me as the f-buddy type), and is not, is worried about dying alone.

[TheMENemy]

He did make that false move, good way of putting it. I am trying NOT to run away from that.

 

I am comfortable at 4 months or something, seeing this type of behavior- but off the get-go? I got that second text and I hung my head and I said outloud "noooo, don't go there!"

 

This doesn't make sense. Why would you be comfortable with a guy who is initially seemingly secure with you in the relationship; and then after four months in a RL, he's turned into a quivering gelatinous basket case of insecurity? He should be VERY secure in the relationship after 4 mos. if things are going well that is.

 

 

Green is actually spot on in a lot of what he is saying.

 

What Green says about relationships is probably very accurate for a young stud guy in his early 20's. Why you think his life experience has particular application to your very different situation is something you might want to scrutinize a little more closely.

[tincanman99]

Look if this is bothering you after 2 dates than just fire him and be done with it. This is analysis paralysis and frankly other things are going to come up that you dont like.

 

Save yourself and the guy lots of grief and just end it now. You know its going to end in a train wreck, admit it.

 

Now on the other hand if he was cocky, arrogant and indifferent to you there would be whining about why he isnt calling you. Would you rather have a stoic guy that tells you NOTHING about what goes on in his head.

 

His txts may be a sign that he has major red flags as some posters have said or they may not be. You dont know because you dont the guy. Every single person male or female has insecurities and issues. So are you going to hold that against them.

 

I find all this over analysis thing fascinating and people wonder why they cant connect today.

 

End it now and you will save yourself lots of future over analysis and aggravation. Trust me.

[TheMENemy]

Just switch the genders, make the perceived defect "she's great but 20 lbs. overweight" instead of "he's so insecure," and let the hating begin.

[Banega100]

I had a girl recently list reasons why she can't believe i'm going for her. After seeing her once!!

 

It's mental, cos i thought she was hot, she could be on the cards for some minor modelling work, but after that I just totally went off her. I can't believe the guy flipped like that. I don't think people should be making excuses for him. That was WEAK behaviour and youre entitled to be turned off by that.

 

It goes to show that you are only as good as the stall you set out for yourself.

Edited November 10, 2010 by Banega100

[phillyfan]

WTF, where do you get the time to overanalyze one little text? Who cares? He's a straight up guy who can say what he feels - more honest that a longass forum thread bashing him for not pretending to be a playa, and just being honest for a change. I guess you need a guy who plays the game, you dont need an honest guy who is human with feelings and just says what is on his mind.

[OceanGirl]

Wow, why did you all have to bring Ds age into it???

 

Comments like "She doesn't have much time" etc are completely weird to me. She doesn't have much time for what? Having kids maybe but I don't think it's something that she wants.

 

She can meet a guy at 55 and fall madly in love and get married. There is no expiration date for falling in love.

 

I am sickened by "well meaning" agist comments by men. Sheeesh. Not every men would prefer a 25 year old - some are actually not that superficial.