I wish I never had to make this decision, but I need to know where my heart lies.

[xcodexcreedx]

At the age of 17 I met a girl at church one wed. Feb. 26 to be exact. We exchanged numbers and started talking one month later we started dating. Her names Megan. After about 6 to 8 months we got married. The marriage lasted for about 7 months she went into the air force and said I should wait for her. And so I did. She had cheated on me and lied to me before. But I forgave her because I loved her. We had our problems in the past but mostly we were very great together. One day while I was waiting for her to return she sent me a letter stating that she didn't want to be with me anymore. She wanted a divorce. I called her And asked her why she wanted this and I was crying. I tried to write to her but after that I couldn't even put one letter together.

 

While waiting for her still, I met this girl named Tamie. I told her what my problem was, I told her I was married and that I was getting a divorce. And after the divorce was finalised on April fools day I started to date tamie. She said she loved me even before we dated. And I felt in my heart that really hurt because I wasn't ready and I was still dedicated to my wife. But there was no reply from my wife. And almost two years have passed. I'm still with tamie. but I don't feel the way she does for me. Because I'm still waiting for my wife. I heard yesterday, that she was still trying to get in contact with me (my wife) and I don't want to get in another fight with tamie I just wish she would have give me some space and time. cause I really still want to be with my wife.

 

I think the reason why megan (my wife) broke up with me was because she felt free in the air force and she didn't want to be held down by ANYONE not just me. she got too big for her britches, my mother in law says. and I think she still wants to be with me. she lives in Kansas and I'm in Georgia. I would walk to Kansas Just to see her again. To make things worse (or better) Tamie is pregnant. I don't know what to do. What should I do?

 

Tamie has always been there for me. but I'm still not ready. I'm Still with Megan. Isn't it natural to love someone you married. But I cant give my heart to someone else until I figure out, what I really want. But I think I really want my wife. and I don't want to hurt tamie any more.... thats why I don't tell her anything. Tamie said she would wait for me. And she would always be there for me. Her hearts with me....while my heart is with megan. Tell me, What should I do? Tamie is very sweet and kind and loving, I just wish I never had to make such a hard decision. So PLEASE, please tell me .... What should I do???

[befuddled11]

Married at 17? Holy smokes, what on earth would you marry that young? How did your parents allow that? That is way way way WAY too young to be making such a serious commitment. It's absurd! At that age, you don't even know what relationships are about, or what love really is.....or about the deep commitment that marriage is, and how much work it is.

 

And now you've got someone else....and you've gotten her pregnant..and you're what, 17 or now 18?

 

Where on earth are your parents and family in all of this? You're not even old enough to vote, you're surely not old enough to be divorced and be a father. Good grief!

[sensitiveguy]

I don't want to tell you what to do. But it sounds like reliability wise your ex-wife is bad news. She is the one that cheated and lied to you in the past. It is tough to get past that. I myself have had someone come back to me after 5 years. She hurt me bad. We were not married but spoke of it - I was deeply in love... including the past 5 years apart. I can say one thing - she isn't the girl I used to love so much... Its sad. But keep it in mind, sometimes we build people up in our minds - making them something they aren't. You do have a responsibility for a child now too. You need to really think about things before you jump in (kind of like your early marriage).

 

Be careful and Best of Luck. I hope everything works out for all 3 of you somehow.

[ldybg51]

[font=century gothic][/font][color=olive][/color]

I hope everything works out for all 3 of you somehow

. Make that 4 of them....

 

Im with befuddled on this one . You are way, way,way to young to have been married. I was married at 20 and lord have mercy on me, I am divorced. I was not old enough, he was 22 and HE still was not ready. We just did not understand the work and feelings involved. We made huge mistakes and everything you could do wrong we did it.

 

I really think you need to let go of Megan. I just get that she is not the one for you. You are what about 20 now. You need to realize that it was just what it was. Young love. Many people fall for people that young and 99.9% do not get married right away, and probably 98% never do marry that person. (the %'s are completely fabricated, I made then up to enforce my point, although Im sure that they could be close to that range) I am sure that in a few years you will think back about how distraught you were over Megan and wonder why. Either you will be in love with Tamie or someone else, but chances are it wont Be Megan. So, move on and concentrate on someon else now. Once you start actually trying to move on you will and then you will see that you can love someone else. But so long as you are wanting to hang on and be miserable then you will be.

 

I could be completely wrong here, maybe you will get back with Megan, but if so, it probably will not last. It sounds as if she does not love you that much. People who are that much in love do not want to be single. (she probably wanted to date other guys...hello) Therefore it can only be assumed that she does not love you that much.

 

You have got to think about This Baby now. Quit thinking about Megan and just move on. It may not work with Tamie but you have to think about your child.

[Velveteel]

I know you don't want to hear this, but Megan hasn't shown any sign of wanting to be with you in something like two years, right? It's not likely to change. I'm sorry you're not in love with Tamie, but you do have an opportunity here to build a fantastic relationship with your new baby. Whatever happens with Tamie, put your love and energy toward that newborn. This is one relationship that is IN YOUR HANDS.