OceanGirl Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 I think that you sound really inexperienced in dating. Nothing that happens on a date means anything. You have no idea if he felt that you had great chemistry. Flowing conversation is good but maybe he is just not sexually attracted to you. Or maybe he is secretly in love with his ex or married female boss or whatever. How can you be so confident that the chemistry was mutual? For example, I went out with a guy last night. We had a great time, I ended the date in just under 3 hour mark. Great conversation, he walked me home, kissed me, asked me out for the weekend. Then also texted me later that night. Am I confident that he felt super chemistry with me? Hell no. I wouldn't even be surprised if I never hear from him again. It happens all the time. You can't really read into things too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cestmoi Posted November 11, 2010 Author Share Posted November 11, 2010 I think that you sound really inexperienced in dating. Nothing that happens on a date means anything. You have no idea if he felt that you had great chemistry. Flowing conversation is good but maybe he is just not sexually attracted to you. Or maybe he is secretly in love with his ex or married female boss or whatever. How can you be so confident that the chemistry was mutual? For example, I went out with a guy last night. We had a great time, I ended the date in just under 3 hour mark. Great conversation, he walked me home, kissed me, asked me out for the weekend. Then also texted me later that night. Am I confident that he felt super chemistry with me? Hell no. I wouldn't even be surprised if I never hear from him again. It happens all the time. You can't really read into things too much. I am hardly inexperienced in dating - I just tend to be the one who is disinterested in the other party. Anyway, I am not about to start defending my dating record to a perfect stranger. (No offense intended.) Can someone tell me if there is a way to close this thread?? While I appreciate the feedback, I'd love to stop thinking about this situation. Ah, the irony. . . Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 Can someone tell me if there is a way to close this thread?? While I appreciate the feedback, I'd love to stop thinking about this situation. Ah, the irony. . . There is no way to close or delete the thread. As long as the conversation remains on topic, which it is, it will stay open. Lots of people can benefit from the continuing discussion. Link to post Share on other sites
colliejoanie Posted November 11, 2010 Share Posted November 11, 2010 Can someone tell me if there is a way to close this thread?? While I appreciate the feedback, I'd love to stop thinking about this situation. Ah, the irony. . . Haha! I wish I knew! When you find out, let me know! In the meantime, don't be ashamed of your feelings. We are somewhat lucky in this day and age to be able to have anonomous questions answered, because we all have them. Dating is not easy, and no one knows the right way to do things. Keep smiling. And keep trying! I know I am! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cestmoi Posted November 11, 2010 Author Share Posted November 11, 2010 I thought all of you would be interested in hearing that the guy finally texted me late last night. I am annoyed that he is playing dating games, but also interested enough to overlook it one time. It is a relief to know this wasn't all one-sided or in my head -- with some of the things people were saying here, I was starting to question myself. Anyway, he wants to make plans for the weekend, but I am happy to report that my weekend is mostly filled up. (Mean, I know.) I am not about to change my plans! I am giving him a day or so before responding to the text, as he seems more comfortable with this unfolding at a slower pace. Hopefully this will not perpetuate the dating games. . . Thanks to those of you who talked me "off the ledge," so to speak yesterday. And thank goodness for this all of the feedback -- I am nominating all of you for People of the Year! Link to post Share on other sites
northern_sky Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 this guy is low interest, even if he wants to see you again this weekend. believe me Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 this guy is low interest, even if he wants to see you again this weekend. believe me Agreed. He's not playing games. He's just low interest. All that chemistry you felt WAS one sided. No guy who's really interested would wait as long as this guy did. Link to post Share on other sites
OceanGirl Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 this guy is low interest, even if he wants to see you again this weekend. believe me + 1000000 Why do women do this to themselves? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Interest is something that builds over time. They went on one date. I would say his communication style is appropriate, not grand, but appropriate. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsoul27 Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Thanks for the thought. I know this is standard advice when it comes to lack of communication, but this seems like an exceptional situation. He just moved here, is beginning his own business, has to travel for clients, and is a slight workaholic. In other words, his priority is his professional life right now. im not trying to be mean, but ur making excuses for him. if u understand that he has all of these things going on in his life right now, you wouldnt be worried about it! i'd give him a few more days - dont send the email! a friend of mine hooked up with this guy on wed that shes been SERIOUSLY crushing on, and he hasnt called her either. she smsd him today to say sorry for leaving his place thurs morning without saying goodbye - but he KNEW that she was gonna be leaving. so it was just an excuse to contact him. i told her, u can sms him once but thats it. i dont think u made a mistake about texting him to say u had a good time. but the ball is in his court now. u said that he said he would make time for u, so dont worry about it either. maybe he genuinely is busy so just give him some time. things will work out the way they're meant to good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Akherousia Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 + 1000000 Why do women do this to themselves? Lack of quality options, probably. It's not that women lack men wanting us, it's the quality of the men interested in most of us is lacking. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 Interest is something that builds over time. They went on one date. I would say his communication style is appropriate, not grand, but appropriate. I agree. If the guy has all those things going and just moved, he is probably thinking, cestmoi, right, need to schedule date two. And probably taking care of business and not romantically thinking about cestmoi who he barely knows. I agree that guys get attached over time, and coming on strong is not necessarily a good thing. Good luck with this guy cm! Link to post Share on other sites
colliejoanie Posted November 12, 2010 Share Posted November 12, 2010 I'm wondering if he's contacted you yet?? Link to post Share on other sites
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