fbstud83 Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 i am 18 yrs old, and my girlfriend..i mean ex girlfriend is 19. we were together for 11 months, and she broke up with me last nite. we met each other at the local grocery store, went to prom together and fell in love over the summer....when we first started to get to know each other she told me that she was going to pittsburgh for college...and we both lived in wisconsin at the time...so we both really didn't know where the relationship was going, but after a wonderful summer we decided to try a long distance thing... it was hard for both of us, but we managed. we talked on the phone, emailed each other, and instant messaged each other.....then came time for me to choose a college...i always wanted to go to madison, but for a while i thought about going to pittsburgh...but i had to many things working against me, money, parents and i truely wanted to go to madison, my gf is very understanding and supporting and told me to go where i wanted to go.. my gf came home a couple of times and we had a great time, she was home a month and we had the best time and everything was great...she left again for second semester and we went back to the ldr....we always talked about our future and what was going to happen...but the thing was that we really didn't know.... we would say that we will see in the future and always talked about eventually being together after we both graduated....i would look to the future and all i could see was my wonderful girlfriend, i thought that she was the one for me, and i was so happy we started to have little fights for like a month, it was pretty up and down, but i felt like they were just bumps in the road...then like 2 weeks ago she told me that she needed to think about stuff...i had no idea what it was, and then like a week ago she dropped a bomb on me...she told me that she needed a break, she needed to think about herself, it was her not me, she needed to find herself....i was confused and hurt, i wanted to help but it seemed like there was nothing i could do. so then she just came home from spring break and she told me that we needed to talk, and my heart dropped...i really couldn't picture my life without her and i didn't know what to do....i came over to her house and we started talking....she told me that she was really confused and that nothing was certain in her life...she said that she "hit the wall" in college and was just questioning everything...i really didn't understand and she told me that it was a college thing, and that it's hard for people not yet in college to understand...she told me that she still loves me....she hates hurting me, but she said this is something that she needs to do herself...she needs to find herself and find who she is...i asked why she couldn't do that with me and she told me that she felt restricted..she said that if i don't let her go i will lose her....she will be working at the same grocery store this summer and so will i.....i asked if it was because of another guy and she said no...i asked if she would be with other guys and she said that she didn't think so...so it seems like this is kinda like a break and with everything she said it seemed like she will want to get back together in the future...she said she needs to see if what we have is real...so here i sit, i have no idea what to do...i have no desire to be with anyone but her....she told me that if i wanted to be with someone else that i should do it...i love her with all my heart...i want what is best for her, but i don't really know what to do if you have a suggestion i would really apreciate it Link to post Share on other sites
emptydude Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 fbstud83, Same kind of thing happened to me this weekend, except I was with my girlfriend for 8 years. I know exactly how you feel right now. I have ZERO answers, and as I'm thinking about it more and more, there really are none. That's the cold hard truth. All you can do is try and deal with it the best way possible by talking to people. Try to get out and do something, ANYTHING, to get this off your mind even though you know that you'll feel like 100% crap. I tried doing that yesterday (my gf broke it off on fri, made it "official" today), and although all I could do was think about her, it did make me feel a little better to do something for myself. And that's all you can do. Don't call her. I made the mistake of trying to my girlfriend (ex) today, and it completely backfired, even though it felt so right in my heart. If she wants to be alone, the last thing she wants is a phone call from you. I know it hurts, it just KILLS ME right now to even think about it. Just keep posting/talking/getting out, and forget about her, because in all likelihood, its already over. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 7, 2004 Share Posted March 7, 2004 It's going to be hard, but the best thing to do is to get on with your life--hobbies, friends. Don't have false hopes that she is going to want to get back with you. If you guys work at the same place, be nice, but don't be involved in her private life. No calls, no visits--you are both now single and can do as you please. You're a young guy, you seem like a good person. While this relationship meant a lot to you, it just wasn't going to work out long term. You'll meet someone else who feels the same way you do in the future. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Codmate Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 fbstud83, it sounds to me like she's spotted some great guys at college and doesn't know what to do with herself. You need to find out what's going on there. If she's told you to go out and meet other women, well, I don't know what to say buddy, but. It doesn't look good to me Link to post Share on other sites
fbstud83 Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 i asked her if she broke up with me because of another guy and she said no...i trust her and have no reason to believe otherwise... also today i received a text message from her reading: Im sorry 4 All of this dont 4 get i Love You and im always thinkin about u...so i get this and it makes me happy, i think that i have reason to have hope....she leaves this saturday and i hope that she will want to see me at least once.....im not really sure what i expect, but i know that i love her with all my heart and would do anything to make her happy....i plan on not contacting her...i want to give her space and let her decide if she wants to see me, i don't want to push her farther away does this seem like the right thing to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Velveteel Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 Yes, give her space. I think your instincts are on target. Her message could just mean that she's thinking of you, though, and sending a little comfort. Don't assume anything. Time will tell. In general, since she does love you, no contact is your absolute best chance of drawing her back to you. Let her miss you a little. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 I think you need to assume she loves you but is not in love with you. Just give her the space, let her miss you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts