The pain is now physical as well

[Jamone]

Hello LS

A week or so ago i started a thread about marriage problems. This week has been a particularly bad one for me. Started on tuesday when a co-worker said good morning to me and i burst into tears! I never cry. Ever since then i have a constant headache, my stomach is feeling really nervous and butterflyish (new one for the thesaurus!) and i ache all round my neck and shoulder. These symptoms have not stopped since tuesday. I have no desire to do anything and feel indifferent to everyone and everything. I'm guessing i'm depressed but don't really want to go down the shrink route yet. I feel tired of living. Want to go to sleep for a long time. Not suicidal or anything but this is killing me! Emotionally and physically i'm a mess.

I was just fishing for strategies that you guys use to help you out when you experience these things....besides painkillers...which doesn't seem to work.

 

I'm hoping to try a few self help techniques to see if i can rise out of this chasm. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks

[GorillaTheater]

Endorphins and ADs.

 

Work out like your life depends on it. You'll feel better, sleep better, feel better about yourself, and at least temporarily it'll take your mind off your situation.

 

There's no shame in seeing a shrink. I saw one after I became depressed during/after a long illness, and took anti-depressants for a few months. After the first couple of weeks, they really do take the edge off the pain.

[quankanne]

you don't need to see a shrink for a prescription for anti-depressants – just talk with your doctor, let him know these physical symptoms you're experiencing and (hopefully) he'll have an answer. Because it sounds a lot like stress and depression to me, but you'll really need to get with your doctor on this.

 

you're in pain right now, and it's manifesting physically. Nothing unusual, in and of itself – it's how your body copes with this. Painkillers aren't going to relax your body, but the right anti-depressant just might be able to get your blood chemistry back into whack from the stress your body is experiencing. I never would have thought it possible, until I went through my own bit of physical/emotional hell seven years ago ... thank God for an astute doctor, who understood me & my body and who proscribed meds to help me through that bad period. The good news is, because this could simply be a situational response (the break-up), you won't need to stay on medications the rest of your life.

 

now ... what are you doing to decompress? Exercising? Working with your hands (building stuff, etc)? Do you have a certain activity that serves as a calming balm, like fishing? Being active is one of the top ways to release that stress, which will help you through this period a bit more easily.

[Jamone]

now ... what are you doing to decompress? Exercising? Working with your hands (building stuff, etc)? Do you have a certain activity that serves as a calming balm, like fishing? Being active is one of the top ways to release that stress, which will help you through this period a bit more easily.

 

I'm not doing anything to decompress. This is going to sound pretty strange but i don't think i even know what i like doing anymore, so my calming balm is pretty much non-existent. I have a pretty rigid schedule in terms of work (which used to be my escape) and the family...have a toddler. I have had low times before but this one is like nothing i've ever experienced. I know exercising is one way so i'm gonna have to muster up the will and try and do some. I really don't feel like doing anything though. And to think a few years ago people used to ask me if anything bothered me because i was always so enthusiastic and smiling all the time. If only they could see me now.

[quankanne]

a toddler, eh? That could be productive, getting down to your little one's level and just *being* ... think of all the silly, mindless games they love at that age, like singing and patty cake and making ups nonsensical stories. They're great for belly-laughs, that's for sure – and probably why they're my favorite group of people.

 

I know it's getting cooler now, but stuff like going for walks with your toddler or even riding a bike with him/her in back is a good workout ... hanging out at the petting zoo, maybe? Anything that helps you tap into simple enjoyment is what you're looking for.

 

And to think a few years ago people used to ask me if anything bothered me because i was always so enthusiastic and smiling all the time. If only they could see me now. aw, hon – this is just a blip on the screen called life ... being stressed out and miserable doesn't sound like your normal state of being, and it's not going to suddenly become it, either. You know what they say: The only way around grief is through it ... at some point, you're as far in that tunnel as you are out ... and you realize that you're headed out.

 

keep the faith. And go do something totally silly, just to show yourself there are things that can still make you smile ...

[Jamone]

That's a lovely thing to say. Thank you. My daughter and i do loads together. We do have a lot of fun and do crazy things. I try not to let her see the down side of me. But sometimes the laughs (from my side) aren't genuine and that hurts. I do it because i know she enjoys it, and i will continue to. The last time i did something silly, i dressed up as a zebra and got attacked by some kids! lol!

[quankanne]

hey, try dressing up as a PONY and seeing what happens

 

it's okay to let her see you sad sometimes – it just makes you more human in her eyes, you know?

[skydiveaddict]

Working out like GT said is essential, But you may need to seek professional help as well. Depression sucks, (been there, done that) and sometimes only meds and therapy can pull you out of it. Just something to consider.

[Jamone]

Thanks sky. I think i'm gonna try doing some exercise and see how that goes. And yes depression bites!