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What are your non-standard, non-negotiables when dating someone?

clia

By clia,
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clia

clia

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I date quite a bit, and other than the standard non-negotiables and "lack of a spark," I've found that there are certain things that turn me off immediately. Some people might think they are superficial, quirky, or weird, but I just can't help it!

 

So, I'm curious...what are your non-standard non-negotiables? (I'm not talking about drug use, alcohol use, porn, sense of humor required, etc.) What are your interesting non-negotiables?

 

Here are my two:

 

-- If I know more about sports than my date, he's a goner. I'm a pretty big sports fan, but I'm lacking Y gene that allows for detailed memory of every major sports statistic in history. If I have to explain a play to my date...he's not getting a second date.

 

-- If he doesn't see the humor/wit in Reservoir Dogs, he's also a goner.

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Thinkalot

Thinkalot

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Well, I'm not single anymore, but when I was, I couldn't stand it when guys talked about themselves only, were loud, or trying to put on too much of a show...or (this may sound a bit snobbish) had really poor speech and grammar or a real gutter mouth!

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clia

clia

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have never been the dumper so i wouldnt know

 

Is it really considered "dumping" if you go on one or two dates with someone and don't want to go out with them again? I'm talking about the very early, early stages of dating...before exclusivity, when you are first getting to know someone...and then they do "that thing" and you know that you will never see them again after that night! :bunny:

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jenny

jenny

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o, i like these! the seinfeldian man-hands problems.

 

1. has not read *anything* and has no plans to do so

2. does not appreciate 'b' movies in any capacity

3. subscribes to any of the following cliches: canadians are better than americans, women are kinder than men, the world is on a teleological trajectory uphill/downhill, meat is murder (though he must also think the smiths are awesome)

4. he must know more about film history than i do. (not terribly hard, but necessary)

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Vivid_29

Vivid_29

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She's a goner if -----

 

 

1) If the last book she read was 'green eggs and ham'

2) If I can't have an intelligent conversation with her

3) When going out, she refuses to have a drink

4) Doesn't support the military or our troops in the Middle East

 

The list goes on...

 

~Vivid

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midori

midori

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Originally posted by jenny

o, i like these! the seinfeldian man-hands problems.

 

1. has not read *anything* and has no plans to do so

2. does not appreciate 'b' movies in any capacity

3. subscribes to any of the following cliches: canadians are better than americans, women are kinder than men, the world is on a teleological trajectory uphill/downhill, meat is murder (though he must also think the smiths are awesome)

4. he must know more about film history than i do. (not terribly hard, but necessary)

 

These are mine too (especially the Canadian bit, sheesh!). Vegetarian guys don't do well with me, I love bacon farrr too much.

 

Other things: trite taste in music/narrow, uninteresting taste in music

 

Puts obvious care and effort into appearance but with no sense of what looks good. It's one thing to not give a damn about how you look. It's another to wear pleated-front khakis, tired shirts, and/or really big belt buckles that read in big letters CALVIN KLEIN (why? why?)

 

Strong cologne. If I can smell it while sitting across the table from you in a restaurant, you won't be getting any closer to me than that.

 

New one: British. I've dated several British guys, and had my heart broken by one. I'd be back for more but my long-time best friend has always said that she didn't see me with a British guy ultimately. She thinks I'm more cut out for a European. Fortunately my current beau is French. If I weren't with him, and I met a very striking British guy I might reconsider this last one. But no need!

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Pookette

Pookette

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Married now...

 

The ability to spell correctly was important.

 

Also, if the guy talked like Cletus from The Simpsons, he didn't get very far. Well, maybe a bit of exaggeration, but you get the drift!

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Thinkalot

Thinkalot

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Alas, I am a non drinker. This means I would not make it past a first date with Vivid. ;)

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Darkangelism

Darkangelism

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I want somebody to put something up and me(or somebody) to say that they would never date another on LS.

 

 

 

i was too slow.

 

 

 

i was just restating the obvious vivid. It is something i do often and dyer rags on me for.

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clia

clia

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I actually Nexted a guy once because he ordered a screwdriver on our first date. A screwdriver! It wasn't 8 in the morning, or even noon! It was eight o'clock at night! A screwdriver is a chick drink--am I wrong? I was drinking a pint of Bass and my date had a screwdriver.

 

Right then and there, I knew it was over.

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Vivid_29

Vivid_29

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Originally posted by Thinkalot

Alas, I am a non drinker. This means I would not make it past a first date with Vivid. ;)

 

I'd scratch #3 just for you! ;)

 

~V

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clia

clia

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I totally need the alpha male, sports fanatic, poker playing, beer/whiskey drinking kind of guy, who treats me like his princess. I just don't like guys who are wimpy.

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Vivid_29

Vivid_29

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Originally posted by clia

I totally need the alpha male, sports fanatic, poker playing, beer/whiskey drinking kind of guy, who treats me like his princess. I just don't like guys who are wimpy.

 

Why am I not surprised? :D I can see that you don't like the gutless, sappy and gay type.

 

An alpha male that treats his woman like a princess. Do they really exist?

 

~V

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jenny

jenny

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mine is more the alpha-intellectual type, but yes, they do! :love:

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clia

clia

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An alpha male that treats his woman like a princess. Do they really exist?

 

Absolutely! The alpha males are the best...they are the planners, the confident guys, the ones who just Do Things. And if they have the right woman (a.k.a. not psycho), they really thrive!

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monkey00

monkey00

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Originally posted by clia

Absolutely! The alpha males are the best...they are the planners, the confident guys, the ones who just Do Things. And if they have the right woman (a.k.a. not psycho), they really thrive!

 

Arent alpha malers the ones that *dont* treat girls like princesses? i thought that twas teh "nice guy's" job?

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Vivid_29

Vivid_29

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Originally posted by monkey00

Arent alpha malers the ones that *dont* treat girls like princesses? i thought that twas teh "nice guy's" job?

 

That's what I thought! I

 

I'm normally an a**h*** to my women!

 

~V

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dyermaker

dyermaker

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I'm deathly curious as to how watching professional sports makes one an alpha male.

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Thinkalot

Thinkalot

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You can be an alpha male, and also be a nice guy. It's a special combination. When you find one of those guys you hold onto them.

 

My guy is strong, decisive and has direction and intelligence. He is also a sweetheart and treats me well. He also refuses to take any sh*t from me, for which I respect him.

 

I also refuse to take any sh*t from him!

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clia

clia

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Arent alpha malers the ones that *dont* treat girls like princesses?

 

No. Alpha males are guys who are very..."guy." They take charge, call, are providers...all the things that men are supposed to be. (IMO.) Alpha male does not mean player, although it can, like anyone else. They like their women to be happy, because when their girl is happy, they are extra super happy. :) But see, your traditional alpha male doesn't put up with girl bull****, which is why he requires the delicate balance of a girl who knows he is an alpha male and knows how to treat him. She does not talk about gross subjects such as her period, or the gossip about her girlfriends because he does not care. He watches Sportscenter and CNN, and is well versed in what is going on in the world. But he does not completely relate to the emotionalness of women, and does not get women completely. He just fixes things, makes dinner reservations, does the things that are "expected" of the guy, and is basically just himself. If the girl doesn't like it, he will gladly kick her to the curb and move on to someone who accepts him for who he is. But this is not to mean that he does not care about his girl. Of course he does! He just does what guys normally do...i.e. buy her flowers, take her out, call when he says he will, make plans for dates...but he expects in return that she will let him go out with his friends and do his "guy" thing. He does not like emotional outbursts or stupid jealousy.

 

Blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to write a treatise.

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monkey00

monkey00

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Originally posted by Vivid_29

I treat girls well, not that it has helped me. But I used to play basketball, basebal and martial arts, i watched every single pro football gam on tv last season, i watch basketball and baseball, drink beer, lift weights, like fast cars, hmm what other sterotypical "man" stuff, i like action movies, weapons.

 

Martial Arts? What discipline?

 

~V

 

hm..how does stuff like that make one an alpha male?? those activities fit into the norm of the everyday guy.

 

Clia - i guess you could all sum it up this....would that be one which is..protector, motivated (knows where he's headed in life), reliable, supportive, friendly, socializer, helpful to others, provider, and lover....Basically masculine, "guy" traits. IN other words NOT gay or girly

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clia

clia

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Which brings me back to my question, why does 'watching sports' qualify one for alpha male status?

 

Merely watching does not qualify one for alpha male status. For example, I watch a lot of sports, but I am clearly not an alpha male. However, knowing every statistic possible in sports and planning big events around game does qualify one as an alpha male.

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meanon

meanon

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1) If the last book she read was 'green eggs and ham'

 

I read this to the kids last night :D

 

I dated a LONG time ago but my list for Nexting someone was:

 

Differing political views (!) - happy to say I've mellowed with age

Too possessive - particularly of male friends

No/different sense of humour

No twinkle in the eye

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