I think I'm in love...

[Dazed_Confused]

Hi,

 

I'm new to the boards, and I never bother with intro's anyway, but I really need some advice. I have quite a story for you here, so just try and bare with me.

 

The new school year started back in September, and being that I'm in a computer related field, I didn't expect to meet any girls...I was wrong. There were a couple of ladies in my classes, but only one really caught my attention. We started talking immediately, exchanged e-mails and phone numbers, and just warmed up to one another very quickly. I was starting to notice her throw signals my way. She would laugh at nearly everything I said, hit me on the arm, let me listen to her iPod music collection without me even asking...etc.

 

And then it happened...my buddy hinted that I should ask her out, and I agreed. I wasn't the only one seeing the signals, at least I knew I was still sane! So this one day, after we had out first test, I asked her to wait for me after she's done and that I need to talk to her. Then, out of nowhere, this older, overweight, guy from the row right behind me started following us and talking to her...he just didn't want to leave us alone, and I didn't ask her that day. That was when it all started to tumble downhill. The next week, I asked her out to lunch, and she said yes (during the break between classes). This guy...does it again. He sticks to us and literally forces us to hang out with him. I didn't want to be an ass. I told her about this later...but more about that later on.

 

Fast forward another week. I decided to ask her out. I knew there was this movie we talked about, and we both said we wanted to see it, so I asked her if she's free on Wednesday of next week. She said she has to work that day, and is busy for most of the week. I teased her by saying that she can't be busy 24/7, to which she said "that's true...". I didn't want to be pushy, so I told her I would call her sometime over that weekend to set up a date when it's convenient for her schedule.

 

So, I waited a couple of days, called her, but got no answer, and I didn't feel like leaving a message. I started feeling low and losing hope. That was when a friend of mine suggested I start seeing another girl in order to try to make this one jealous. I didn't want to play with her emotions like that, but he convinced me that's what I need to do, so I gave it a shot. He set me up with one of our old high school friends, and to tell you the truth, we had a great time together. She recently left the country (gone to South Africa for 6 months), but said that she would be open to resuming what we had when she comes back. Here's the funny thing though...for as long as I was seeing this other girl, the girl from my class kept popping back into my mind whenever I was out with this other girl. I couldn't get her out of my head, and nothing seemed to help.

 

Well, after my first date with this other girl, I wanted to text her and let her know that I had a wonderful time with her, but I ended up sending the text to the girl from my class. After the classes resumed, I didn't really talk to her all that much, in face it was short, and very brief conversations. Two days later...the fatso asked her out to a movie, and she said yes...she spent 15 minutes convincing me and my buddy that we should come with them so that it doesn't feel like a date. I refused...told her I don't like her well enough to cancel all my plans for her. She looks at me at that point, and asks me "do you still want to take me to the movies sometime?". I told her that I wasn't sure if she wanted to go anymore, so I decided to leave it alone. She told me not to take her missing my phone call literally, and that just because she didn't return my call, doesn't mean she doesn't like me. Then, we agreed to go out on the following Tuesday afternoon. Of course, with my luck, this meant I would have to cancel on the other girl...more on this later.

 

So, Tuesday comes around. Everything seemed so fine, like this was my day and nothing could go wrong...well, guess what? I was wrong.

 

After the mid-term exam was finished, me and her (just the two of us) hung out in the cafeteria. We were talking, discussing different topics, classes, marks, etc. She had to go for a temp job assignment (for 3 hours), and I was going to pick her up right after and we were scheduled to go out. I waited with her until her ride was there, gave her a hug, and left straight for the gym in order to help me kill some time.

 

I had a wicked workout that day, one of the best I've had in years...and boy, am I glad for that! Nothing could prepare me, or come even close to preparing me, for the initial shock I was about to get when I finally check my cell phone. I received 5 text messages from her. She said that she was sorry, but that she had to reschedule the movies for another time. She had just learned that she got a job interview with a company not too far from her home, and since she is unemployed, she needs to go. I told her to call me if she really wants to re-schedule. She texted me again, begging me not to be mad, and that she does.

 

[backtrack a couple of days...]

My buddy made me buy a ticket for that week's edition of the pub night, and then he bough one for the girl. The pub was scheduled for Wednesday night.

 

She told me she was still going to come to the pub the next night, and that I will see her there.

 

She showed up, but things were slightly different. She kept referring to herself as a bitch all night long, and I kept assuring her that I just don't see it (even though I knew, full well, what she meant). After we met up, we chatted for a bit, and then I asked her when she's available to go to the movies, and she said "I don't know...". I figured, if I don't give up now I'm an idiot, but I kept going.

 

We had a good night, although it was slightly disappointing due to my inability to dance, had to learn that one the hard way I guess...The next day in class, I told her that we would talk about the movies after our Mid-Semester Break (which was coincidentally the next week). I also told her that ever since Tuesday's events, things have seemed a little different between us, and that she was confusing me. She told me not to worry about it, that I'm just over-reacting, and that everything will be fine.

 

Break week went on by. I kept in touch with her, although sporadically, maybe a text message every few days. We came back to school, and she wasn't there for the first lecture. I knew she had to come in the afternoon since we had another exam to write.

 

She showed up, but things seemed way different. She looked pale, weak and completely exhausted. I asked her what's wrong, and she told me she has a migraine, that she's had it for a few days now, and that it just won't go away. I did my best to make the exam easier for her to take. When the examiner wasn't paying attention, I would make sure to leave my test papers close enough to her so that she could copy down my answers...it was an open book test anyway, so it was easier to do than I anticipated. I walked her out and waited for her ride to get there, she thanked me, and went on home. She came to class the next day, but her head was still in the same state.

 

She didn't show up to class the next day, and the day after that, I found out (from her via text) that she's in the hospital and will be MIA for at least a week. I started feeling depressed, couldn't sleep, eat, concentrate...everything was blurry. The very next day, I texted her and told her I want to come down and see her. She told me that I can if I want to, but that it won't be pretty. I went by to visit her two days later. It was the only day I could make some time, due to my part time job, and transportation issues, since the hospital is more than 2 hours away from my home. To be honest, I fel like a complete jackass for not visiting her as soon as I had found out. I texted her every day just to see if she is doing alright, I was in a constant state of worry.

 

She has been discharged from the hospital yesterday. Apparently, she still doesn't feel her best, but she's managing. I don't know what to do now. Is there anything that I can do apart from letting her know that I am here should she need anything?

 

I should probably mention that she never responds to her e-mails, and when she does respond to text messages, you feel like you've basically won the lottery. This isn't just me...it goes for other people we know too.

What should I do when she comes back? I was thinking of just being honest with her. I want to tell her that I like her, A LOT, and that if she needs me, I will be there for her, no matter what, but I have a feeling that this won't work...just like it's never worked in the past. I think I'm already in love with this girl, I have no problem admitting it to myself, but telling her is the problem.

 

Just to clarify things, I don't feel like I'm entitled to her affection just because I went way out of my way to visit her in the hospital. I'm not greedy like that, and to be honest, I am still very worried about her...God, I hope everything turns out to be fine...<sigh>

[Dazed_Confused]

I really need some help with this one. I have to figure out how to approach this. I really like this girl, but I don't want to make it seem like I was visiting her at the hospital just so I could win her heart. How do I approach this?

[Dazed_Confused]

So...we hung out today in between classes. Just the two of us. I want to get to know her better, and I so desperately want to tell her that. I told her I'd still like to take her to the movies sometime (towards the end of the day), but she didn't reply (msn).

 

I'm going to talk to her tomorrow, tell her how I feel and that I will wait for her to recover before I officially ask her out, but I want her to know how I feel beforehand.

 

Is this a good idea?

 

She was in a potentially life threatening situation, so I don't want to freak her out. I can't stand the thought of not being around her.

[Lucky555]

just give her time. I think your overwhelming her. Contact her once a week instead.

 

I really don't think this girl is "that" interested she canceled on you so much.

 

I think because she has class with you she may be trying not to make it awkward. Just back off and give her room.

 

She knows you want to go to the movies with her already. Wait till she asks you. Then when she wants lunch with you find someone else to sit with.

Start slowing distancing yourself. she is not on the same level as you. The distance will give you clarity. I know you like her but distance yourself. Date someone else or get a hobby to take up time or hang out with your friends.

 

Your really going to push her away being so pushy. Have a little mystery make yourself desirable don't be a door mat or a sound board for her. Not until she earns you!

[Dazed_Confused]

But she always wants me near her...well in class and school most of the time anyway. She saves a seat for me right next to her when I'm late for a lecture, she waited for me to finish my appointment after class today.

 

Later when I told her about movies again, I never said when, figuring she'd know exactly why I'm doing that. I want to give her time to recover first, she needs time and space more than anything right now, and I will be there for her when she needs me but I won't go way out of my comfort zone for her.

[giraffegirl]

Please give this girl a break! She has obviously been very ill, and from what i have heard about migraines she probably isnt thinking much about anything!

 

Back off, and try to think about her feelings a bit more than your own.