American Women: Threatened by Foreign Women?

[Untouchable_Fire]

I really don't want this to be a big negative bashfest and ethnicity is a really sensitive topic for many people, so please I don't mean this to be anything but polite.

 

Do you look down on guys who marry women from other cultures? Do you feel threatened by a trend of American men going elsewhere?

 

Also, when you hear men throw out stereotypes of women from other countries... how does that make you feel about those men?

 

With all honesty I'm looking for some thoughts on this topic because in my personal life I've been dating a woman from another culture... and I've had some reactions from people that really upset me. I've had people ignore it and try to set me up with someone else, I was told by a female friend not to be "one of those guys", and I had a male friend try to warn me she might be just out for money and a green card.

 

Honestly I'm kind of frustrated with some of my friends and family and I just don't understand it. When it comes to stereotyping I think the men are worse than the women.

[D-Lish]

Me personally? I am not threatened by foreign women in the least bit.

Cross cultural dating can be as tricky as it is can be rewarding, depending on how you look at it.

 

Too bad your friends can't seem to mind their own business!

[Akherousia]

I really don't want this to be a big negative bashfest and ethnicity is a really sensitive topic for many people, so please I don't mean this to be anything but polite.

 

Do you look down on guys who marry women from other cultures? Do you feel threatened by a trend of American men going elsewhere?

 

Also, when you hear men throw out stereotypes of women from other countries... how does that make you feel about those men?

 

With all honesty I'm looking for some thoughts on this topic because in my personal life I've been dating a woman from another culture... and I've had some reactions from people that really upset me. I've had people ignore it and try to set me up with someone else, I was told by a female friend not to be "one of those guys", and I had a male friend try to warn me she might be just out for money and a green card.

 

Honestly I'm kind of frustrated with some of my friends and family and I just don't understand it. When it comes to stereotyping I think the men are worse than the women.

 

I don't care about men's preferences. Do they like foreign? That's fine. What annoys me is how so many American males think something is wrong with American women.

 

It's like this.

 

A is an American man. He is in love with B, an American woman. But A was always shy and he was afraid of being rejected. He never told his feelings for B so B one day met a good looking man(or whatever A is against at the time) and began to date him.

 

A turned bitter, decided all American women are evil(because we can't read the man's mind) and decided to from now on talk bad about American women and, to piss off American women(not sure how he does this), A gets himself a foreign woman.

 

I've honestly never met an American man bitter enough to say such awful things about American women. The men I met, the men I was raised with, and the men I admire are all capable of applying occasion and individualism instead of saying:

 

"Sally sue hurt me, that means every American woman is bad to the bone."

 

Songs like "American woman stay away from me" don't help raise future men to respect women.

[allina]

No. But I am suspicious of men (or women) who have such strong feelings and make blanket generalizations about groups of people.

 

I don't know if my reply is meaningful as I'm not really American. I consider myself pretty much American but I was born in Eastern Europe and moved here when I was 10.

[112233]

It's like this.

 

No, it's not and the fact you don't know what "it's like" is no shock to me. I suspect you probably would argue against what it's really like, and/or become angry when you hear it.

 

As for me, I've dated foreign AND domestic, and while there are good examples to be found in both fields there is a lot less chaff mixed into the foreign wheat.

[kdark]

The title of this thread is going to cause controversy, not the content of the thread.

 

Why pick such a polarizing thread title?

[Knittress]

It didn't occur to me to be threatened by this idea until I contemplated being a white chick approaching 30 in an Asian country. I guess I'll have to get back to ya.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Me personally? I am not threatened by foreign women in the least bit.

Cross cultural dating can be as tricky as it is can be rewarding, depending on how you look at it.

Too bad your friends can't seem to mind their own business!

 

It's just a handful of people really... but what really hurts is that I think my mom isn't very supportive. It won't really change anything, I mean I'm helping to pay for a lot of my parents bills right now because my father has some serious health issues... Ugh... it's just so complicated. My mom also really liked my xGF, who was terrible to me in the end. I never badmouthed her anywhere... maybe I should have.

 

The title of this thread is going to cause controversy, not the content of the thread.

Why pick such a polarizing thread title?

 

I thought it fits the topic well. If the mods don't like it they will change it.

[Akherousia]

No, it's not and the fact you don't know what "it's like" is no shock to me. I suspect you probably would argue against what it's really like, and/or become angry when you hear it.

 

As for me, I've dated foreign AND domestic, and while there are good examples to be found in both fields there is a lot less chaff mixed into the foreign wheat.

 

See what I mean? The bitterness. What, you're going to tell me that there's a secret world in North America, a sort of elite society which can only be entered by men in the top 20% of looks, height, body, teeth, hair, and money?

 

Why is it that I have never heard of this from guys who were raised by healthy parents? Why have I never heard of this when I was in Church and surrounded by guys, younger and older than me?

 

Why is this never talked about when I'm with my brother and his friends? Not all of his friends are good looking. Some are short, others had average, others are skinny. But all of them have or had girlfriends in the past.

 

They weren't all dating models but they had girlfriends. Is that from where the btiterness comes?

 

Guys want to date attractive women and they don't want them, or the guys see the women dating attractive men and they are jealous of that position?

[Untouchable_Fire]

It didn't occur to me to be threatened by this idea until I contemplated being a white chick approaching 30 in an Asian country. I guess I'll have to get back to ya.

 

My suggestion would be to try dating asian guys. I bet you would be very popular!

[allina]

UF, that sucks that your friends and family aren't being supportive, I mean that. However, you're the one making a huge deal about your gf being a "foreign woman." You are the one that has created this American women vs. foreign women issue. You identify your gf as a "foreign woman" as if that was her key identity. It's "my foreign gf this, my foreign gf that", why not just "my gf?" If you just presented her as a wonderful woman this wouldn't be such a focus. You're the one shoving the fact that she's foreign down everyone's throat. Maybe that is what's suspicious to your family and friends.

[Akherousia]

My suggestion would be to try dating asian guys. I bet you would be very popular!

 

 

Is that so? I see the Asian women dating white Americans and White Europeans, but I've never seen Asian women dating Asian men; why would Asian men be interested in white women?

[sally4sara]

Do you look down on guys who marry women from other cultures? Do you feel threatened by a trend of American men going elsewhere?

 

I only look down on it in the instances where the guy promoting it goes on about how much more submissive the girl will be making me think he has cruel intent or when I see that kind of dynamic play out with certainty IRL. I don't care where anyone meets the person they click with enough to marry.

 

Also, when you hear men throw out stereotypes of women from other countries... how does that make you feel about those men?

 

It depends on the stereotype they use or if they come off like a cruel hearted person, but usually I think that they don't like thinking too hard about defining people. They want the stereotype so they think it will be found but there is no guarantee on it.

 

With all honesty I'm looking for some thoughts on this topic because in my personal life I've been dating a woman from another culture... and I've had some reactions from people that really upset me. I've had people ignore it and try to set me up with someone else, I was told by a female friend not to be "one of those guys", and I had a male friend try to warn me she might be just out for money and a green card.

 

Honestly I'm kind of frustrated with some of my friends and family and I just don't understand it. When it comes to stereotyping I think the men are worse than the women.

 

What bothers you worse; that they think you might be "that guy" or that your friends even think that way about intercultural dating?

[musemaj11]

While foreign women make much better wives and mothers, but they tend to be much more materialistic.

 

Its kind of a tough choice.

[Woggle]

Some people mind their business. It is similiar to interracial dating. When a mixed couple goes out in public some people feel the need to inject their own opinion on something that does not concern them.

[Citizen Erased]

Apart from a couple of whispered bitchy remarks mocking me (I suspect because I was getting attention they wanted), I haven't experienced American women being any different to me than I get here.

[Woggle]

Apart from a couple of whispered bitchy remarks mocking me (I suspect because I was getting attention they wanted), I haven't experienced American women being any different to me than I get here.

 

That might just be the typical anti- anything foreign attitude some Americans sadly have.

[Stung]

I have a couple of male friends who have wives/serious gfs from other countries, just as I have a couple of female friends with husbands/serious bfs from other countries. No big deal. I have not noticed a mass defection of American men in my area, nor any bitterness against American women here--we're all too busy, men and women alike, being bitter about the messed up American political system and media. The only place I ever hear generalized American female bashing is on Loveshack, but to be painfully honest, a lot of the most bitter people on LS strike me in many ways as simply being young and rather rigid and provincial. I just feel bad for them and hope they figure out less painful ways to maneuver through their lives.

 

That being said I do know one guy whose wife is, I suspect, a 'mail order bride'. I could be wrong, but that is my guess. They seem to get along well enough and it's really none of my business so it's not something I spend a lot of time thinking about.

 

 

It's just a handful of people really... but what really hurts is that I think my mom isn't very supportive. It won't really change anything, I mean I'm helping to pay for a lot of my parents bills right now because my father has some serious health issues... Ugh... it's just so complicated. My mom also really liked my xGF, who was terrible to me in the end. I never badmouthed her anywhere... maybe I should have.

 

 

 

I thought it fits the topic well. If the mods don't like it they will change it.

 

You can tell your mom the truth without badmouthing/smearing unfairly, and you should do it, if she plays an active role in your life and thinks she is knowledgeable about your girlfriends. Your mom being on your current girlfriend's side will make life a lot easier for your current gf.

 

As for the topic/thread title, I think you're being disingenuous. "I thought it fit the topic well," hmm? Yet in your opening post, you said yourself that you were getting more flak from MEN than women? This just feels like a purposeless little dig at women, maybe more out of reflex at this point than anything else, despite your pleas for no gender-bashing in the thread itself.

[Untouchable_Fire]

I only look down on it in the instances where the guy promoting it goes on about how much more submissive the girl will be making me think he has cruel intent or when I see that kind of dynamic play out with certainty IRL. I don't care where anyone meets the person they click with enough to marry.

 

That attitude makes me really angry.

 

It depends on the stereotype they use or if they come off like a cruel hearted person, but usually I think that they don't like thinking too hard about defining people. They want the stereotype so they think it will be found but there is no guarantee on it.

 

I just feel like if a guy is just looking for a woman to control he will never get anything from me but disgust. I see guys like that all the time, and they rarely date women from other countries. They just date women from here and when they get cheated on... it drives that controlling behavior into overdrive either with the same woman or with the next.

 

What bothers you worse; that they think you might be "that guy" or that your friends even think that way about intercultural dating?

 

What bothers me most is that they might not treat my GF with respect. I doubt they would ever think poorly of me long term.

[Stung]

Apart from a couple of whispered bitchy remarks mocking me (I suspect because I was getting attention they wanted), I haven't experienced American women being any different to me than I get here.

 

Maybe they are a little bit jealous of your cute accent. Or maybe they're secretly in love with Pyro !

[Akherousia]

Apart from a couple of whispered bitchy remarks mocking me (I suspect because I was getting attention they wanted), I haven't experienced American women being any different to me than I get here.

 

That has nothing to do with nationality as you've figured it out; it's jealously plain in simple.

 

In Spain, the women(and the men) are envious of the natural beauty seen in South Americans. In Portugal the women abhor Brazilian women. Portuguese women believe the Brazilians to be skanks. Nah, it's just jealously talking through them.

 

I've also seen the Portuguese men saying how gay the Brazilians look with their extreme concern over their bodies yet, the Portuguese keep on getting fatter and the Brazilians continue with their good looks and health.

[Akherousia]

While foreign women make much better wives and mothers, but they tend to be much more materialistic.

 

Its kind of a tough choice.

 

 

Excuse me? Facts?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Apart from a couple of whispered bitchy remarks mocking me (I suspect because I was getting attention they wanted), I haven't experienced American women being any different to me than I get here.

 

That's pretty much the attitude I'm talking about though.

 

I think maybe they feel like your horning in on their men?

[Akherousia]

That's pretty much the attitude I'm talking about though.

 

I think maybe they feel like your horning in on their men?

 

But where's the sense in hating the nationality when any woman from that Country can hit on their husbands?

 

It's like blaming an entire Country because one member of that Country is trying to steal a woman's husband. Makes no sense at all.

[AverageJoe]

Songs like "American woman stay away from me" don't help raise future men to respect women.

 

Respect is earned, not given.

 

I myself, like the OP, also sometimes date outside the American spectrum of women. Really cant say I blame him one bit. The cultures, personal responsiblity, attitudes and outlook on life are so much different. It really is refreshing.