First Time - Did not go right! TONY's advice needed

[Michael]

I date a girl for 5 months, and we decided to have sex. I have not had sex bedore that in about 10 months. So i have been waiting to make love to her for a long, so finally we got the chance, however things did not go the way i pictured them, anyway, i got aroused to the point where i had a premature ejaculation. Now going forward i am very pessimisitc, and I need advice as to how should i prepare myself, so that it wont happen, the problem is I go t aroused, then lost the erection, so during foreplay i had premature ejaculation. Now i was starting to worry that it will happen again, and noticed that when I am with her, even when i kiss her, i doubt whether i am getting aroused or not...its sick but, what should I do???? is it because i have not had sex in such a long time? maybe i should just stay away from sex for a while, and just get more comfortable with her. I thought all of a sudden I was overwhlemed cause for the 5 months i have not gotten anything from her.....

 

Please tell me what you think

[Tony T]

I think you shouldn't worry so much. Your problems are mostly due to performance anxiety. If your lady is understanding, it won't make a lot of difference how it goes each time. If you have this problem over a protracted period, you need to see a doctor.

 

Sex should be a loving experience, not an Olympic event. It's purpose is to communicate a loving situation between two people. You will not have a fulfilling sexual exchange with your partner if you go ape worry about every little thing that happens.

 

I say all this assuming that you are in good physical condition and that you aren't taking any medications that may interfere with sexual performance.

 

I have been told there are certain herbs, minerals, vitamins and other formulations at natural food stores that help with sexual performance. There are also books that talk about foods that help in that department. But go about this in a relaxed way. If you get all up tight about sex, you will never enjoy it. Please don't get in the habit of worrying so much about a human experience that should be spontaneous between two people who care and love each other and who are not judging the event. The results of your sexual experiences will not be published on the Internet (unless you put them there as you have in this case).

 

Good, healthy, open, and frank communication with your partner will go a long way to helping you in this situation. Also, reducing stresses in your life and learning to take things as they come without getting worked up will also help in a major way.