I hate my body

[eerie_reverie]

Your self esteem is in the gutter, but it's not because of your average-sized boobs or normal weight.

[insecure_girl]

It's so hard to ignore all that. I mean, I have many male friends, and they discuss women, they discuss boobs, they discuss porn. And they tell it like it is, even when I'm around, they don't sugar coat anything. They do admit that big breasts look better, that porn stars (not the trashy cheap looking ones) are hotter than normal, like Shay Laren, they all seem to love that girl. She's busty and slim. They admit that the girls are a big factor in how good a porn is, how turned on they get, etc. That yes, they watch it for the girls, not just the acts, etc. And these are not pervs, or creeps, or any of that. They're normal, intelligent, responsible guys.

 

I mean, if that's what they like looking at while thinking of sex, then it's not very encouraging. I mean, what's the point in having sex with someone like me? Just having a real life vagina, and not just a hand? Because it feels nicer than a hand, you know, "the real thing", is it just that? 'Cause honestly, if men's (or at least guys' my age) ideal women looks like that, then well, why go after women like me? 'Cause of availability? That sucks. 'Cause they themselves can't get a hotter girl? Well that definitely sucks! Women are supposed to be pretty, hot, they're supposed to be the ones that attract guys, you know, beauty is more important in women than in men. So having a guy want you sexually just 'cause you're all he can get, that's not very encouraging.

 

Anyway, thanks to you all for the support, I know you have the best intentions, I wish there were more people like you here.

 

Oh and I think I am overweight. I know some women can be heavy but not look heavy, like Jillian Michaels, but you see, she probably has a low body fat percentage, her weight is probably mostly from muscle. I don't have much muscle, I have visible fat, especially when I sit down. I need to lose weight. But thanks for mentioning it, 'cause that's what I want to achieve, I want to lose a maximum of 30 lbs of fat, and then regain weight by adding muscle. This will take like a year I guess.

[Feelin Frisky]

I'm 5'6" approximately, and around 147 lbs. I want to lose at least 20 lbs. 30 max. The thing is, in general, I hate my body. I know I'm not fat, fat, or too overweight. But there are many things I hate. Well I hate my hair, I can only wear it at shoulder length, tops, 'cause I have very little hair and if I have it any longer it shows. My face is average, I don't like it, I have perpetual ark circles under my eyes even though I have a good diet and sleep well and enough! I don't think my face's very femenine Although I guess it's just normal, though not pretty or gorgeous.

 

I have small breasts, and these are of such concern to me. My ex liked big breasts better, and that sucked, even if he was with me, knowing he preferred big breasts and seeing him inevitably ogle big breasts or knowing he liked big boob porn really didn't make me feel great and appreciated sexually. Every guy out there I see is always speaking wonders of big breasts, from teen boys to almost elderly men. I think it's cultural. But cleavage = sexy, small breasts = high fashion (?). I've even heard men say small breasts remind them of prepubescent boys!

 

Well, my lower body's a mess! I have huge hips (the hip bones are big). And my butt is not very round or bubble shaped, even though I'm working on toning it. I wish it was rounder, if it's so wide, then at least it could protrude a bit more! My thighs are huge and they never seem to shrink! I also have cellulite both on my butt and thighs, and I have read there's no way to effectively get rid of cellulite, and that it's not a weight issue, so even if I lose weight it won't go away. it might even get worse

 

I also have inward knees.

 

I feel really ugly, but especially about my breasts, I feel they're so out of proportion. I have less than 36 inches (the "ideal size) around my chest, and approximately 39-40 around the hips! Should I get implants? I've noticed the size men seem to like the most is around a D cup. I also have large areolas, which I also have heard are unattractive.

 

Don't tell me that men don't think their "fantasy women" from porn and Playboy aren't attractive... or else they wouldn't use that to masturbate. I look nothing like that and maybe working towards looking a bit more like that would make me a bit more attractive and make guys more forgiving of my face and cellulite. I don't know. I mean sure guys like my personality, but like I said, it sucks when a guy is like "Honey I love you for your personality and all, but I can't help looking at cleavage or liking big boobs better!".

 

I feel more like a friend with that, it's such a turn off!

 

Here's my universal advice: be careful what you tell yourself, you might just believe it. I'd like to address you by your screen name but you've made that hard for me as I can't in good conscience call you "insecure girl" and feel good about it. That aside, you need to be a friend to yourself--let the world criticize you or defeat you if it will but don't defeat yourself. Try this on: try saying to yourself "I have image issues which I let get in my way even when they are not an issue to anyone else but me. Then try to consider how insecure many if not most other people are as they fret and worry about their imperfections just as much. No one is really out there with the sole agenda of taking your inventory--they are usually taking their own. So try being a friend to yourself and start putting this image issues in perspective. You sound bright and capable. Good luck.

[thatsonlyme]

It's so hard to ignore all that. I mean, I have many male friends, and they discuss women, they discuss boobs, they discuss porn. And they tell it like it is, even when I'm around, they don't sugar coat anything. They do admit that big breasts look better, that porn stars (not the trashy cheap looking ones) are hotter than normal, like Shay Laren, they all seem to love that girl. She's busty and slim. They admit that the girls are a big factor in how good a porn is, how turned on they get, etc. That yes, they watch it for the girls, not just the acts, etc. And these are not pervs, or creeps, or any of that. They're normal, intelligent, responsible guys.

 

I mean, if that's what they like looking at while thinking of sex, then it's not very encouraging. I mean, what's the point in having sex with someone like me? Just having a real life vagina, and not just a hand? Because it feels nicer than a hand, you know, "the real thing", is it just that? 'Cause honestly, if men's (or at least guys' my age) ideal women looks like that, then well, why go after women like me? 'Cause of availability? That sucks. 'Cause they themselves can't get a hotter girl? Well that definitely sucks! Women are supposed to be pretty, hot, they're supposed to be the ones that attract guys, you know, beauty is more important in women than in men. So having a guy want you sexually just 'cause you're all he can get, that's not very encouraging.

 

Anyway, thanks to you all for the support, I know you have the best intentions, I wish there were more people like you here.

 

Oh and I think I am overweight. I know some women can be heavy but not look heavy, like Jillian Michaels, but you see, she probably has a low body fat percentage, her weight is probably mostly from muscle. I don't have much muscle, I have visible fat, especially when I sit down. I need to lose weight. But thanks for mentioning it, 'cause that's what I want to achieve, I want to lose a maximum of 30 lbs of fat, and then regain weight by adding muscle. This will take like a year I guess.

 

People always want what they can't have, and that's a fact! I mentioned earlier that my ex girlfriend was a go-go dancer. All guys in clubs were drooling when she was on the block. many of those guys were hotter, smarter and richer than me. bottom line is, every night she went home with ME while those guys would go home alone and j**k off!

what those guys didn't know though is that she's just an ordinary girl, very insecure as well, just like you! She always needed external validation and even all that attention in clubs wasn't enough. In the end that cost her relationship with a guy who really loved her and cared about her.

 

when somebody loves you for who you really are, nothing else matters. you're not second best, you're simply the one!

 

You know what part of her body my ex loved the most? her ears! Jeez, I never even paid attention to her ears! Her boobs were definitely my favorite part. I loved her eyes, even though she had big dark circles around, I loved her smile even though her teeth were everything but perfect. The whole package is the only thing that matters, guys don't go around analyzing body parts. yes, we do talk about it a lot, but that's more a part of that macho talk, just like girls can talk about big d**s even though they'd be scared as s**t if they actually saw one in real life.

 

In your life you'll have people who will find you only mildly attractive but good enough to sleep with you, or the ones who won't find you attractive at all, but don't worry about them, because you'll also meet people who will find you the most attractive person in the world. You can't please everybody so just be who you are and don't worry what other people think. Look at yourself every morning in the mirror and say out loud "I'm the most amazing, most beautiful person in the world". Positive attitude towards yourself will go a long way and people will find you more attractive.

 

After break up with my ex I had bad days and good days. In bad days I'd sit at the bar alone, feel like a loser and nobody would look at me or talk to me. The other days I felt great about myself, I'd go to the same bar and strangers would talk to me, girls were eying me... trust me, it's all about how you feel about yourself!

[bobdole]

I think men prefer small areolas. Just look at most porn star or topless models. If these women are generally like this, then it must be because there's a demand for it. Which means most men like it.

 

Its unwise to take porn as any sort of indicator of what men like. Many reasons but primarily and personally for me: What I find erotic on a computer screen and what I want in a real woman have very little in common.

[insecure_girl]

Its unwise to take porn as any sort of indicator of what men like. Many reasons but primarily and personally for me: What I find erotic on a computer screen and what I want in a real woman have very little in common.

 

 

But how can that be? I mean when you look at porn, wouldn't you go for things that you like in real life? Why go for other things, unless you're curious, but most guys I know don't use porn to get rid of curiosity, they use it to look at hot women they deem ideal and jerk off. I've heard many guys in real life say big areolas are disgusting. Even on big breasts, which tend to have big areolas.

[Ophelia11]

It is hard to tell if she is overweight or not. I am 5'2" and weigh about 125 give or take two to three pounds depeding on the time of month. I am small (size 2-4) with lots of muscle. My jeans are size 26. I work out hard with weights 5 times a week and do HIIT 2x a week.

 

I will most definitely be looking into that boob job when the funds are available. I have a small amount of body fat so my breasts are hardly there. Most 32 A are not filled out. I hate it. I think breast are extremely sexy, and i want them. I know that I have a great body or at least that I am at my potential, but I am still not happy. Some of us women never will be.

ETA: Get the boob job!

[insecure_girl]

It is hard to tell if she is overweight or not. I am 5'2" and weigh about 125 give or take two to three pounds depeding on the time of month. I am small (size 2-4) with lots of muscle. My jeans are size 26. I work out hard with weights 5 times a week and do HIIT 2x a week.

 

I will most definitely be looking into that boob job when the funds are available. I have a small amount of body fat so my breasts are hardly there. Most 32 A are not filled out. I hate it. I think breast are extremely sexy, and i want them. I know that I have a great body or at least that I am at my potential, but I am still not happy. Some of us women never will be.

ETA: Get the boob job!

 

Oh, I'm most likely overweight or borderline. I'd know if it were mostly muscle, as I'd look lean and toned. That's the thing with weight, and you're right, because your weight is all muscle. Mine isn't, lol.

[starryeyed12]

It sounds like your ex was pretty immature and, not to mention, completely insensitive to say those things to you. It has obviously only fueled this boob complex you have, but not every guy would treat you or feel that way about them.

 

Neg. body images are pretty common, and people around your age suffer the worst. You have to try and keep some perspective here! You think that every guy is obsessed with big boobs because your current demographic is early 20s college kids. But please remember there is life outside of your college bubble!! Its a great, big world out there with lots of different people who come in all differnt colors, shapes, and sizes. College men's preferences only make up a small percentage, and those men will grow up and their preferences can change as well.

 

Improve your fitness and see how you feel then.

 

And it is all about confidence. Can you list off anything you DO like about your body? Why don't you try that? Find just one thing you love and focus on playing it up. Maybe its your hands- go out and get a manicure and beautiful rings. Maybe its your ears! Get some sexy earrings and show em off. Take your focus off your poor lil boobies! When you find the right guy, he will love your boobs and love playing with them.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I'm 5'6" approximately, and around 147 lbs. I want to lose at least 20 lbs. 30 max. The thing is, in general, I hate my body. I know I'm not fat, fat, or too overweight. But there are many things I hate. Well I hate my hair, I can only wear it at shoulder length, tops, 'cause I have very little hair and if I have it any longer it shows. My face is average, I don't like it, I have perpetual ark circles under my eyes even though I have a good diet and sleep well and enough! I don't think my face's very femenine Although I guess it's just normal, though not pretty or gorgeous.

 

I have small breasts, and these are of such concern to me. My ex liked big breasts better, and that sucked, even if he was with me, knowing he preferred big breasts and seeing him inevitably ogle big breasts or knowing he liked big boob porn really didn't make me feel great and appreciated sexually. Every guy out there I see is always speaking wonders of big breasts, from teen boys to almost elderly men. I think it's cultural. But cleavage = sexy, small breasts = high fashion (?). I've even heard men say small breasts remind them of prepubescent boys!

 

Well, my lower body's a mess! I have huge hips (the hip bones are big). And my butt is not very round or bubble shaped, even though I'm working on toning it. I wish it was rounder, if it's so wide, then at least it could protrude a bit more! My thighs are huge and they never seem to shrink! I also have cellulite both on my butt and thighs, and I have read there's no way to effectively get rid of cellulite, and that it's not a weight issue, so even if I lose weight it won't go away. it might even get worse

 

I also have inward knees.

 

I feel really ugly, but especially about my breasts, I feel they're so out of proportion. I have less than 36 inches (the "ideal size) around my chest, and approximately 39-40 around the hips! Should I get implants? I've noticed the size men seem to like the most is around a D cup. I also have large areolas, which I also have heard are unattractive.

 

Don't tell me that men don't think their "fantasy women" from porn and Playboy aren't attractive... or else they wouldn't use that to masturbate. I look nothing like that and maybe working towards looking a bit more like that would make me a bit more attractive and make guys more forgiving of my face and cellulite. I don't know. I mean sure guys like my personality, but like I said, it sucks when a guy is like "Honey I love you for your personality and all, but I can't help looking at cleavage or liking big boobs better!".

 

I feel more like a friend with that, it's such a turn off!

 

 

 

My god, I don't even know where to begin...

 

Most of your post smacks of having listened to the gospel as preached on behalf of everyone by, oh, say, TWO men (give or take one-and-a-half).

 

SOME of your features are surely JUST LIKE those of 70-80% of other women IN THAT guys run the complete gamut of appreciation for them as they might with anybody:

 

(examples: small breasts, large areolas, full hips, just to name three)

 

 

Nextly, at 5'6", 147... do NOT become one of THOSE WOMEN who (basically makes-UP some "target weight") and then pins everything in her world on reaching it, as if it were a pass/fail grade guideline.

 

IF you imagined the most dreamy, enviable, model-like body at 109 pounds and your height... and then added 12 pounds To that body, can you really imagine men not lining up to bang that same person with the added 12 pounds???

 

@ 147 you are certainly very workable socially as is, but any little bit of effort is going to (fend off the effects of the next few years, at the very least)... and you just don't need much more than that. (maybe it is the outlook suggested by any such EFFORT, and not your future weight accomplishments which will mean the difference for you)

 

 

I'm not even going to try to understand your hair... and I might even allow that you can maintain that gripe (mostly because I don't know how to logically talk you through overcoming that self-critique).

 

Women with "average" faces are perfectly desirable all around... althouuuuuuuugh, I kind of struggle to imagine you ALLOWING that you do have an "average" face given you have (behaved so poorly with regard to your other attributes here).

 

So maybe I should upgrade YOUR SENSE OF "average"... to seem 'perfectly presentable'.

 

... and heavens no, you shouldn't get implants !!! I can't even imagine introducing implants to the self-image you've projected here.

 

 

*********************

 

Next, (and while I would seldom walk up to someone on the street and ask this bluntly, but ) what IS your waist measurement???

 

Tiz often said that the single most admired aspect of a woman's body, by men, is her waist-to-hip ratio.

 

You offered "36" for the top... and "40" for your hips... and you certainly need to know that "ideal" for "waist-to-hip ratio" is said to be .70

 

(which would equate to a "28" waist on 40-inch hips)...

 

NOW I'm guessing you're in the low 30's there... BUT you really need to SEEEEEEEEEEEEE how ATTAINABLE that " .70" is likely to BE from where you are.

 

Not only that, but this is another case where you aren't being graded on a "pass or fail" basis. If you get down to 30 inches around the waist, then you'd be at " .75" and would certainly have your share of men who *notice*.

 

One more thing... IF a woman had FIFTY-inch hips... she could STILL land on the ".70" mark in terms of waist-to-hip ratio IF by chance she had a 35-inch waist.

 

You are NOT out of reach of that general guideline (that is ".70" ), and it would reap plenty of 'notice' from men.

 

 

From all I gather here, your flaws are at least 80% attitude... because you really seem to have plenty to work with on the path toward seeing enough in yourself to inspire others to see something wonderful IN you.

 

 

I will certainly allow that ONE OR TWO evil-seeming males started you on this self-image spiral.

 

 

So tell us about your waist measurement...

[insecure_girl]

My god, I don't even know where to begin...

 

Most of your post smacks of having listened to the gospel as preached on behalf of everyone by, oh, say, TWO men (give or take one-and-a-half).

 

SOME of your features are surely JUST LIKE those of 70-80% of other women IN THAT guys run the complete gamut of appreciation for them as they might with anybody:

 

(examples: small breasts, large areolas, full hips, just to name three)

 

 

Nextly, at 5'6", 147... do NOT become one of THOSE WOMEN who (basically makes-UP some "target weight") and then pins everything in her world on reaching it, as if it were a pass/fail grade guideline.

 

IF you imagined the most dreamy, enviable, model-like body at 109 pounds and your height... and then added 12 pounds To that body, can you really imagine men not lining up to bang that same person with the added 12 pounds???

 

@ 147 you are certainly very workable socially as is, but any little bit of effort is going to (fend off the effects of the next few years, at the very least)... and you just don't need much more than that. (maybe it is the outlook suggested by any such EFFORT, and not your future weight accomplishments which will mean the difference for you)

 

 

I'm not even going to try to understand your hair... and I might even allow that you can maintain that gripe (mostly because I don't know how to logically talk you through overcoming that self-critique).

 

Women with "average" faces are perfectly desirable all around... althouuuuuuuugh, I kind of struggle to imagine you ALLOWING that you do have an "average" face given you have (behaved so poorly with regard to your other attributes here).

 

So maybe I should upgrade YOUR SENSE OF "average"... to seem 'perfectly presentable'.

 

... and heavens no, you shouldn't get implants !!! I can't even imagine introducing implants to the self-image you've projected here.

 

 

*********************

 

Next, (and while I would seldom walk up to someone on the street and ask this bluntly, but ) what IS your waist measurement???

 

Tiz often said that the single most admired aspect of a woman's body, by men, is her waist-to-hip ratio.

 

You offered "36" for the top... and "40" for your hips... and you certainly need to know that "ideal" for "waist-to-hip ratio" is said to be .70

 

(which would equate to a "28" waist on 40-inch hips)...

 

NOW I'm guessing you're in the low 30's there... BUT you really need to SEEEEEEEEEEEEE how ATTAINABLE that " .70" is likely to BE from where you are.

 

Not only that, but this is another case where you aren't being graded on a "pass or fail" basis. If you get down to 30 inches around the waist, then you'd be at " .75" and would certainly have your share of men who *notice*.

 

One more thing... IF a woman had FIFTY-inch hips... she could STILL land on the ".70" mark in terms of waist-to-hip ratio IF by chance she had a 35-inch waist.

 

You are NOT out of reach of that general guideline (that is ".70" ), and it would reap plenty of 'notice' from men.

 

 

From all I gather here, your flaws are at least 80% attitude... because you really seem to have plenty to work with on the path toward seeing enough in yourself to inspire others to see something wonderful IN you.

 

 

I will certainly allow that ONE OR TWO evil-seeming males started you on this self-image spiral.

 

 

So tell us about your waist measurement...

 

Yeah, I'm around 28 inches... I'm told I'm pear shaped, which is basically small up top, small waist, BIG lower body. Usually, not considered a very sexy shape, since I have really heavy thighs, hips and butt. It seems all weight goes there, whereas I'm well, small up top. So it does look disproportioned. And I've noticed guys like women like Kendra Wilkinson and Heidi Montag, who are fake as hell, but have big boobs and well, not much going on with their hips, but guys still seem to prefer that over women with big hips and small boobs.

 

I mean most people and guys dislike Heidi Montag 'cause she's nuts. But they still think she's hot, and they actually think she's hotter after (at least her first) surgery. She has gone overboard now, but most guys agree that after the first surgery she got way hotter.

[SouthernSunshine]

I'm 5'6" approximately, and around 147 lbs. I want to lose at least 20 lbs. 30 max. The thing is, in general, I hate my body. I know I'm not fat, fat, or too overweight. But there are many things I hate. Well I hate my hair, I can only wear it at shoulder length, tops, 'cause I have very little hair and if I have it any longer it shows. My face is average, I don't like it, I have perpetual ark circles under my eyes even though I have a good diet and sleep well and enough! I don't think my face's very femenine Although I guess it's just normal, though not pretty or gorgeous.

 

I have small breasts, and these are of such concern to me. My ex liked big breasts better, and that sucked, even if he was with me, knowing he preferred big breasts and seeing him inevitably ogle big breasts or knowing he liked big boob porn really didn't make me feel great and appreciated sexually. Every guy out there I see is always speaking wonders of big breasts, from teen boys to almost elderly men. I think it's cultural. But cleavage = sexy, small breasts = high fashion (?). I've even heard men say small breasts remind them of prepubescent boys!

 

Well, my lower body's a mess! I have huge hips (the hip bones are big). And my butt is not very round or bubble shaped, even though I'm working on toning it. I wish it was rounder, if it's so wide, then at least it could protrude a bit more! My thighs are huge and they never seem to shrink! I also have cellulite both on my butt and thighs, and I have read there's no way to effectively get rid of cellulite, and that it's not a weight issue, so even if I lose weight it won't go away. it might even get worse

 

I also have inward knees.

 

I feel really ugly, but especially about my breasts, I feel they're so out of proportion. I have less than 36 inches (the "ideal size) around my chest, and approximately 39-40 around the hips! Should I get implants? I've noticed the size men seem to like the most is around a D cup. I also have large areolas, which I also have heard are unattractive.

 

Don't tell me that men don't think their "fantasy women" from porn and Playboy aren't attractive... or else they wouldn't use that to masturbate. I look nothing like that and maybe working towards looking a bit more like that would make me a bit more attractive and make guys more forgiving of my face and cellulite. I don't know. I mean sure guys like my personality, but like I said, it sucks when a guy is like "Honey I love you for your personality and all, but I can't help looking at cleavage or liking big boobs better!".

 

I feel more like a friend with that, it's such a turn off!

 

 

Wow, I acutally read all the way through your post! Yay me!

 

Okay, I hate to break it to you, but not all guys like a plastic barbie lookin chick. What you think are flaws, others might find sexy.. especially since they make you who YOU are. If you can't love & accept yourself.. nobody else will.

 

Not all guys look @ those stick chicks when they jerk off! There are lots of guys who like em thick with dark hair, or red hair with pale skin. Some guys like thick thighs, and some guys like little boobs. Big areolas are sexy, I mean, I've never had any complaints , only compliment and mine are silver dollar size... although I'm a 36Dcup.

 

Bottom line: you are too worried about what the guys want rather than what YOU want. Love and accept yourself. Work with what you got, because whining about it isn't going to make you look "better".

Edited November 27, 2010 by SouthernSunshine

[SouthernSunshine]

Yeah, I'm around 28 inches... I'm told I'm pear shaped, which is basically small up top, small waist, BIG lower body. Usually, not considered a very sexy shape, since I have really heavy thighs, hips and butt. It seems all weight goes there, whereas I'm well, small up top. So it does look disproportioned. And I've noticed guys like women like Kendra Wilkinson and Heidi Montag, who are fake as hell, but have big boobs and well, not much going on with their hips, but guys still seem to prefer that over women with big hips and small boobs.

 

I mean most people and guys dislike Heidi Montag 'cause she's nuts. But they still think she's hot, and they actually think she's hotter after (at least her first) surgery. She has gone overboard now, but most guys agree that after the first surgery she got way hotter.

 

OMG.. who gives a f*ck about those idiots?!! I'd rather punch myself in the face than hang out with a waste of oxygen like those morons. Oh yeah, a punk would love to blow his load on either one of them, but do you wanna be the one receiving the load from a punk? I mean, come on!

 

Pear shape is cute. Love yourself girl!!

[Star Gazer]

I haven't seen one magazine quality model that has given me a morning wood. They look so "worked" and I dunno...I can't explain it. I've never been turned on by those types.

 

Even the gals on the cover of those car magazines, Eric?

[starryeyed12]

Yeah, I'm around 28 inches... I'm told I'm pear shaped, which is basically small up top, small waist, BIG lower body. Usually, not considered a very sexy shape, since I have really heavy thighs, hips and butt. It seems all weight goes there, whereas I'm well, small up top. So it does look disproportioned. And I've noticed guys like women like Kendra Wilkinson and Heidi Montag, who are fake as hell, but have big boobs and well, not much going on with their hips, but guys still seem to prefer that over women with big hips and small boobs.

 

I mean most people and guys dislike Heidi Montag 'cause she's nuts. But they still think she's hot, and they actually think she's hotter after (at least her first) surgery. She has gone overboard now, but most guys agree that after the first surgery she got way hotter.

 

Yes, certain guys will think those types are hot. And certain wealthy media moguls will continue to force feed those images as the ideal to a certain target audiences.

 

You seem to be really missing the point of some great advice that has been dispensed here, I_G. Put down the tabloids, turn off the E!, and get out there and comfortable being YOU for a while. You're pretty much arguing against every point made.

 

I'm still wondering if you can name one thing you DO you like about yourself??

 

Or would you rather us tell you to go out and get a new face and boobs because yours aren't good enough for society?? That seems to be all you really want to hear right now.

 

In the meantime, why not start trying to love yourself and get healthy being you. Cause if you can't love yourself deep down, then nothing will be enough. All the boobs and plastic surgery won't fix you if you're broken inside. Be around people who build you up, not tare you down.

[insecure_girl]

I know what I want. I want guys to think I'm hot and not just cute, or a cool chick, or just smart, etc. You know when hot girls complain that they're tired of always being recognized as just a pretty face or great body? Well, it also gets old being recognized just for being smart or just for being nice and having some different interests... we always want what we don't have, and maybe I take my good things such as brains for granted, but I want to be hot, I want that attention because I've never had it. I'm just a regular girl, looks wise. I've been told I'm ugly, sure, but I guess I'm just regular, normal, nothing special.

 

I want a guy who prefers small breasts. I've NEVER met a guy like that. Guys like small breasts, sure, they can like or not care about the size of areolas, but in MY EXPERIENCE they prefer big breasts with small areolas. They prefer a slim body, they prefer legs without cellulite. Doesn't mean they will be grossed out by me, but I will never be really hot in their eyes.

 

I've never heard a guy say "You know, she's hot cause she has small boobs!". I always hear them say, however, "She's hot, check out that rack!". Sometimes they'll say a girl with small boobs is hot, but because of her butt, or legs, or face... never because of her breasts. And even though my breasts are small and have large areolas, I guess that they're one of the best "sexy" bits I have, because I have knock kness, I have a lot of cellulite in my fat thighs and a a lot of cellulite in my butt, and my butt's not big and bubble shaped (whatever that is), the thing is, it's not round... my face is just normal. My breasts are small and perky and my areolas are big, but they look better than my butt or legs. Sadly, no guy I've ever met is a "small boob" guy. All boob guys I know prefer big boobs over small... and guys who "don't care" want a flawless ass or legs... which I don't have... and I've heard cellulite has no cure, that it can improve a bit, but just a bit, and sadly, I have very noticeable cellulite, which I've tried treating, with little results.

 

I like my personality, I like it that I'm different and not an airhead, but that's it. I'm more of a friend, I'm not seen as hot or beautiful, I don't get admiring gazes from guys... did you ever watch that MTV show, "Made" where high school kids wanted to become things they were not? Like the nerd girl wanted to be prom queen? Stuff like that? Well, it kind of happens to me... I am just the cool chick... which is good, but why can't I be more than just that? Why can't i be pretty? people may think that's vain, and some women don't care or don't understand why I'd want that, but I want it. I want that recognition, that validation... as far as I can see, beatuy is a big deal in our society, because of our brain chemistry or whatever...

 

And sorry, I know I'm ranting, but sometimes I just have to get this off my chest, 'cause I have no one to talk about this, my family always tell me to shut up, that I'm fine as I am, to be grateful and to stop being vain, my friends tell me I'm stupid to care, but they don't get it, they don't get the pain I feel. Yes, I feel pain. And it's embarrassing to admit that in "real life" (as opposed to doing it in an online, anonymous forum). Sorry.

[starryeyed12]

...did you ever watch that MTV show, "Made" where high school kids wanted to become things they were not? Like the nerd girl wanted to be prom queen? Stuff like that? Well, it kind of happens to me... I am just the cool chick... which is good, but why can't I be more than just that? Why can't i be pretty? people may think that's vain, and some women don't care or don't understand why I'd want that, but I want it. I want that recognition, that validation... as far as I can see, beatuy is a big deal in our society, because of our brain chemistry or whatever...

 

And sorry, I know I'm ranting, but sometimes I just have to get this off my chest, 'cause I have no one to talk about this, my family always tell me to shut up, that I'm fine as I am, to be grateful and to stop being vain, my friends tell me I'm stupid to care, but they don't get it, they don't get the pain I feel. Yes, I feel pain. And it's embarrassing to admit that in "real life" (as opposed to doing it in an online, anonymous forum). Sorry.

 

Maybe you should start *listening* to what they (and everyone on LS) are trying to tell you! It's ok to vent, but at some point please start to tell yourself "I am wrong in my thinking. I am only seeing the world as black and white. I have a lot to learn." Until you can quiet your own inner thoughts up for a min., then you can finally start to listen.

 

You were built the way you are, dear, and there is no drastic changing it unless you want to go under the knife. And as mentioed earlier, no amount of plastic surgery or boobs will ever satisfy you in your current mental state. There will always be something else- a wrinkle here, some cellulite there, now its your nose, now your chin. Why not at least attempt to love yourself? Your effort to do so thus far is weak.

You still have yet to name ONE thing you DO like about yourself!!! Why are you dodging this question??

 

TURN OFF the MTV that is poisoning your head and get out of your house. Go for a long walk by yourself through the most beautiful park you can find. Appreciate and admire that kind of natural beauty and realize how SMALL and insignificant your issues are in this giant/facinating/cruel/beautiful/turbulent/incredible world. Meet some new people. Join clubs that inroduce you to new kinds of hobbies and people.

 

No you may not be an international sex symbol or the most beautiful girl in your class, but you need to accept who you are. It could be one hell of a lot worse for you. Everyone is insecure at times. Guess what? Even those gorgeous girls can be insecure too. Accept yourself and start meeting people who build you up, not a bunch of boobs who just talk about stupid boobs all day!!

 

Stop with being a negative nancy and whining. (yes, you are whining at this point) Tell us something you love, or please seek couseling because you probably suffer from body dysmorphic disorder.

 

I KNOW there is something that you sorta, kinda find unique and beautiful about you that you have yet to share.

Edited November 27, 2010 by starryeyed12

[insecure_girl]

Ok, since you insist so much on it, I guess I like my hands, but guys don't wank over hands. There.

 

What I mean to say is yeah, I think my hands are pretty, but hands aren't sexually arousing. I've never seen a magazine devoted to hands pictorials, or hand porn, or any of that.

Edited November 27, 2010 by insecure_girl

[starryeyed12]

Lol its funny you mention hands. My ex loved my hands and feet! He said sometimes he would get turned on looking at them bc it would remind him of when they were working their magic on him!! ;) Not even kidding. There is an example of a guy that noticed AND found hands to be sexy. See how many unique and interesting kinds of people there are out there!!!

 

Get outside of this box you have built around yourself. If you box yourself in to an image or an idea you will always feel trapped. In this case you have boxed yourself into some skewed vision of beauty that is damaging you. SO BREAK OUT!

 

Its really ugly the things you are saying about yourself and downright ungrateful of the things you do have. Cliche, I know, but very true. Look around and realize that it could be so much worse for you. Go to a burn victims unit at a hospital and look what some people have to deal with their whole lives. Even so, many of those people are just happy to be alive!

 

You have something unique, wonderful, and special to offer the world. It may not be becoming the worlds next big supermodel, but who really gives a damn. It only matters if you let it.

[insecure_girl]

Yeah, I know, I mean I'm very healthy. I'm fat, yeah, but I had several exams done recently for my last check up and as usual, everything's fine and dandy. I'm grateful for my health, don't get me wrong, as I am for my brains. But that doesn't mean other people, and especially guys my age, aren't mean about my looks or that they all think I'm sexy.

 

I think guys with hand fetishes are so rare! I've never met one at least... wish I did I guess, although I'd like someone to think I'm attractive not just cause of my hands. Sure some people like hands, but they're the minoruty, society as a whole emphasizes other parts of the body as attractive.

[starryeyed12]

I think guys with hand fetishes are so rare! I've never met one at least... wish I did I guess, although I'd like someone to think I'm attractive not just cause of my hands. Sure some people like hands, but they're the minoruty, society as a whole emphasizes other parts of the body as attractive.

 

 

I never said anything about fetishes, I_G. I said he found them sexy was turned on by them and what they do to him. He didn't worship them or do freaky things to them. You need to work on your listening skills and stop always making assumptions. That's half your issue right there.

 

I'm pretty much wore out from your pitty party. When you're ready for advice come back and re read this thread. Good luck.

Edited November 27, 2010 by starryeyed12

[SincereOnlineGuy]

 

Next, (and while I would seldom walk up to someone on the street and ask this bluntly, but ) what IS your waist measurement???

 

Tiz often said that the single most admired aspect of a woman's body, by men, is her waist-to-hip ratio.

 

You offered "36" for the top... and "40" for your hips... and you certainly need to know that "ideal" for "waist-to-hip ratio" is said to be .70

 

(which would equate to a "28" waist on 40-inch hips)...

 

NOW I'm guessing you're in the low 30's there... BUT you really need to SEEEEEEEEEEEEE how ATTAINABLE that " .70" is likely to BE from where you are.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, I'm around 28 inches...

 

[harmfulsweetz]

There is no ideal body type for men or women. Seriously. Do women find only one type of man attractive? No. So it is sufficient to say that men don't find only one type of woman attractive. Sure, a lot of younger guys will like big boobs, that is not to say that they will not find yours attractive equally. If they like you for you, it won't matter the size.

 

Most men are just happy to see breasts in real life, and to be able to touch them, play with them etc. If a guy has a specific need/preferance for big boobs, so be it, find someone that doesn't. Wearing a 'one size fits all' attitude about your body, and yourself will take you nowhere. Even if you had big boobs, you'd find something else to obsess over and fret about. It's the way insecurity works. It's kind of our minds/subconscious way of throwing us off the scent of our real issues by focusing our attentions on things that really are fine.

 

I'm going to be honest here, I used to worry about my breasts too. They aren't big, around a 34B-C depending on the store I buy the bra from, and the kind of bra, and they seem to have big aurelias (sp?) but men don't seem to care about that. The last guy I was with actually seemed very turned on by it, probably because heck, they are boobs. And that's always a good start. Also, one is bigger than the other. It's like my right one got lazy and decided it didn't want to keep up with my left boob. I used to be so aware of these perceived flaws, but now, I just laugh them off and view them as a part of me. A guy don't like that? His deal, not mine. I'll find ten men in his place that love it.

 

I think you could benefit from losing some weight, but only for your confidence. It may feel good to accomplish something, be a boost to your self-esteem so to speak. Having said all of that, if you are insecure about everything, you'll find something else to focus on instead of the weight/boobs. You need to find a way to drown out those men you talk to (why listen to a bunch of men and take their word as gospel?) and the voices in your head.

 

If there is one universal woman body type for men, and that is the only one they are attracted to, we're all pretty much screwed and those plastic surgeons will be rubbing their hands in anticipation at the flocks of women queuing outside their doors! It's pretty safe to say this isn't the case, but until you pay attention to the reality of the world, and what people actually tell you (not those men who go on and on about porn )

and learn to find things that you like.

 

Every woman has plenty of insecurities, we could probably sit all day long picking out flaws, faults, but it does no good. It doesn't make you look better, feel better, it doesn't do anything at all. It's a waste of time. There's an old saying and I think it applies here: One man's rubbish is another man's treasure. To me, that can mean a number of things. Here, it means that what you think of as rubbish, and horrible, and unattractive, another man may love them, and cherish them like they are gold.

 

Men & women do masterbate to these porn flicks with the "perfect" woman with the "perfect" breasts, and weight, but if a man says he wants you to look that way with those breasts, just calmly and politely say "Well, I wish you had a d*ck like his, but we don't always get what we wish for!" Before walking out on that a$$. See, that's the thing. We women obsess over the looks of pornstars, believing they have the ideal breasts, the ideal weight, the faces of them are perfect, they even have a perfect p*ssy, but then, look at the other side. The men's penis's are unusually large, and thick. Imagine any man living up to that expectation;)

 

Porn is a realm of fantasy, and is not to be taken literally in reality. A man may get his kicks seeing those women, but he can still love his partner for all that she is, and find her even more beautiful than those women on a screen.

[insecure_girl]

If there is one universal woman body type for men, and that is the only one they are attracted to, we're all pretty much screwed and those plastic surgeons will be rubbing their hands in anticipation at the flocks of women queuing outside their doors! It's pretty safe to say this isn't the case, but until you pay attention to the reality of the world, and what people actually tell you (not those men who go on and on about porn )

and learn to find things that you like.

 

Every woman has plenty of insecurities, we could probably sit all day long picking out flaws, faults, but it does no good. It doesn't make you look better, feel better, it doesn't do anything at all. It's a waste of time. There's an old saying and I think it applies here: One man's rubbish is another man's treasure. To me, that can mean a number of things. Here, it means that what you think of as rubbish, and horrible, and unattractive, another man may love them, and cherish them like they are gold.

 

Men & women do masterbate to these porn flicks with the "perfect" woman with the "perfect" breasts, and weight, but if a man says he wants you to look that way with those breasts, just calmly and politely say "Well, I wish you had a d*ck like his, but we don't always get what we wish for!" Before walking out on that a$$. See, that's the thing. We women obsess over the looks of pornstars, believing they have the ideal breasts, the ideal weight, the faces of them are perfect, they even have a perfect p*ssy, but then, look at the other side. The men's penis's are unusually large, and thick. Imagine any man living up to that expectation;)

 

Porn is a realm of fantasy, and is not to be taken literally in reality. A man may get his kicks seeing those women, but he can still love his partner for all that she is, and find her even more beautiful than those women on a screen.

 

I mean it's not that, but men surely like the porn star body. It's like they can accept someone like me, but deep down they prefer the other look. I have never experienced this as a woman, because I don't watch porn, and when I have, I've been grossed out by the male actors... I don't think I'd like such a big penis on a man... and their faces are kind of gross, they usually have weird hair... I mean, men in pornos aren't supposed to be hot, they are just required to have a big penis, but attractive, they're not.

 

Of course I want a guy to love me, my ex probably loved me for who i am, but it gets old hearing "You're so smart, you have such a great personality" and never "You're so smokin'!", and whether I want to or not, unconsciously I'll always end up comparing myself to those women, and I've heard that unconsciously, men do too. I think there are even some studies which prove that after looking at Playboy pictures, men felt less in love with their partners and rated them as less attractive. So looks do play a part in love.

[harmfulsweetz]

I mean it's not that, but men surely like the porn star body. It's like they can accept someone like me, but deep down they prefer the other look. I have never experienced this as a woman, because I don't watch porn, and when I have, I've been grossed out by the male actors... I don't think I'd like such a big penis on a man... and their faces are kind of gross, they usually have weird hair... I mean, men in pornos aren't supposed to be hot, they are just required to have a big penis, but attractive, they're not.

 

Of course I want a guy to love me, my ex probably loved me for who i am, but it gets old hearing "You're so smart, you have such a great personality" and never "You're so smokin'!", and whether I want to or not, unconsciously I'll always end up comparing myself to those women, and I've heard that unconsciously, men do too. I think there are even some studies which prove that after looking at Playboy pictures, men felt less in love with their partners and rated them as less attractive. So looks do play a part in love.

 

I wouldn't attempt to try to imagine the workings of a man's mind, it's not a pretty sight. Someone once said to me over a similar issue, that men don't compare women half as much as women compare women. They don't look at two women, who are both hot in their eyes, and think that one is hotter. They are just both hot.

 

Sure it gets old, but on the other side of the coin, wouldn't being hit on all the time, hearing you're hot, you're sexy be slightly annoying too? If all you're ever looked at as being is hot, and a pretty face, and nothing more than a 'shell', then I'd imagine it'd get old.

 

I think, right now, you're focusing so much on an 'ideal' that doesn't exist. It exists because you're making it exist. You're creating something that isn't there. Most guys don't want those trampy porn stars, sure, they j*ck off to it, it doesn't mean they want it in reality. Men love to talk the big talk, talking it all up with their mates, when they grow up, or get a girlfriend who is LTR material, I'm gonna bet that their main goal wasn't finding one with massive boobs. A guy told me once anymore than a handful is a waste or a mouthful! (lol)

 

A guy that truly likes you, will adore you for you, not your boobs, not your hair, not anything superficial but he will adore those things because they are apart of you.