a change of direction

[rich_1517]

i have been sitting in a "waiting period" while my "ex" decides if we are to be freinds or more.

 

three years together. she asked me to move in twice, i delicned, once out of wanting her to change and that it was too soon, the second because I was struggling financially. bottom line: i was afraid to take the next step.

 

she has been extremely "emotionally removed" not a peep about us. i have done no contact, she calls all the time, at one point too much and it was creating hurt for me. since then i have gotten stronger.

 

I told her two weeks ago that i wanted to marry her, that i was at rock bottom on facing the loss of my business and that i was willing to quit smoking (her number one).

 

she has said things like "i dont want to get your hopes up" and "we have to be freinds right now". but she keeps calling and wanting to get together. i applied direct pressure twice, saying i needed an answer. no luck she stuck to her two months deciding period.

 

so i am doing something new. i said take as much time as you need to make your decision, I would prefer if you reached a decision you were comfortable with then one that is forced.

 

she started calling more, again just chit chat, but while i was writnig the phone rang again, her, but no message. she keeps asking about smoking, new job. she is reluctant to get off the phone.

 

she is a waffler, meaning she will not make an emotional decision easily. this could go on for months, but i will being to date after a week or two (two months ends next monday). i have decide whether i should tell her. this "deciding period" is

 

so i am resolved to no longer ask, not talk about it. hangout when its comfortable, and slowly move on. maybe she will follow. i have said what i want, what i am willing to do. theres nothing left to be said. now its up to her.

 

i will keep making myself more attractive to either her or the next girl by straightening out my finances and getting in shape.

 

any thoughts about this.

[moimeme]

I think your plans are exactly on track. Change you for you; that will stand you in good stead no matter what transpires in the future. Take it easy on her and let her sort herself out while you do your work. I really hope that it works out for you.