my secret crush on forum guy rewritten in rememberance of lost thread

[secret member]

A couple of weeks ago or so I opened a thread about my major crush on one of the male members on the forum. It aparently got lost somewhere, so quick recap.......

I was asking what to do about my feelings.

A lot of you were wondering how I could have possibly devoloped these feellings.

Some gave advice on how to get over it.

Others suggested that I write him a message and see what devolopes from there. While Im still contemplating on wheither to write him anything, meeting him in person is simply not an option. Not only is he not in my area, but that is just too dangerous.

I will not say who it is util I get closure or decide what to do. I will, however say that it is not a supermodel. So right off the bat that rules out DerangedAngel, and Kevin.

Any further advice?

[Darkangelism]

I think the mods erased it because it got off topic. You should write to him, I think the rumors flew and it was detemined to be jmargal.

[moimeme]

If I recall correctly, this person is taken. In that case, I would recommend what I recommend to people who develop crushes or are attracted to men who are taken in 3D (or IRL as some people say): forget him. Having a crush means devoting a lot of brain time to that person. What you need to do in this case is the same sort of thing Thinkalot has to do, because it is similar in its obsessive nature. You have to disallow the thoughts. When they come, tell them to STOP and turn your mind to something else - or even someone else.

 

I never agreed with those who said 'just PM him - what could it hurt?'. It could hurt if you end up in some sort of emotional affair scenario. My rule for me is STAY AWAY FROM TAKEN MEN. Period. I would hope that every woman would do the same in honour of her fellow women - to do otherwise is to cause suffering to someone the way you'd never want suffering caused to you.

 

Yes, it is true that I have had to forego what may have been some great friendships - but that is just the way life goes; sometimes you have to do what's right, no matter how much you'd prefer to do otherwise.

[jenny]

er...i think she or he is just larking - it's like trolling, but cuter.

[moimeme]

Given that this is the third thread on this, one would think the 'lark' would have worn off long since.

[befuddled11]

Call me an old fuddy-duddy, but isn't this all fairly silly and junior-high-esque? How many threads are we going to have devoted to this cybercrush? It seems inane to me, for a person to feel they've developed a crush on someone they've never met, based solely on that person's picture (which might not even be of them) and some words they toss about on message forums. To whoever has the crush..why don't you just invest your energy and time on someone locally, who you can get to know in person. Good grief!

[secret member]

Like I said, I opened this thread because the other ones dissapeared. I am asking for help. If you do not know how to make me understand your perspective any other way then by saying how you completly understand it, then dont post anything. If you dont like the thread dont read it. Rudeness doesnt help anyone in any way.

[dyermaker]

I think everyone knows that this is an online forum. Each person chooses the aspects of themselves that they wish to convey to the other members of the forum. It's impossible to determine compatibility, or even admirability of this person, because you only know a limited part of him.

 

To some extent, I think we're all curious as to who it is. To some extent, I think you're enjoying the curiousity.

[moimeme]

I agree with Dyer on this. You could have posted that you have a crush on a member of a forum; you didn't need to specify this particular one. It seems to me that you're waiting for him to PM you or to reply on your thread or something.

 

He's taken. Time to turn your affections elsewhere. Believe me on this; no matter how nice someone may seem on a forum, you know only a fraction of that person. The rest is your own fantasy. Find a real single human and fall for him.

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by secret member

Like I said, I opened this thread because the other ones dissapeared. I am asking for help. If you do not know how to make me understand your perspective any other way then by saying how you completly understand it, then dont post anything. If you dont like the thread dont read it. Rudeness doesnt help anyone in any way.

 

What is the point of carrying on about this? You've already admitted/are aware that:

 

1) he is involved with someone, correct? (therefore, UNAVAILABLE)

2) he doesn't live locally to you

3) you've already admitted that meeting him wouldn't be safe

 

 

In addition, if you were to PM him and tell him, he might think you were a lunatic, because most people would find it strange, I'm guessing, that someone would develop a 'crush' on them based on a picture and some words they type. This guy could be the biggest horse's arse. He might not even really be a guy. Lots of weirdos "gender-bend" on forums and in chat rooms, just for kicks, just to see if they can get away with it.

 

What is there to understand here? What kind of help or advice are you looking for? We can't tell you what you should do. Surely you're old enough to be able to make up your own mind. Either let the guy know (which I think is silly) or don't. There's your choices.

 

I'm not being rude...but you keep posting about this and I don't know what it is you want us to help you with. Again, devote your time and energy in someone you can get to know and develop a crush on, "in real life".....

 

And you are the one who keeps posting this stuff, on a public forum. You're thereby inviting responses and people to share their opinions. I gave mine, don't like it? Scroll.

[Tony T]

You got lots of advice in your previous thread. This thread will be closed at midnight tonight, USA Eastern Standard Time. This topic has been thoroughly explored and exhausted.

[jenny]

i think this thread would have been more amusing and pleasurable in the confessions department, as the function of the audience is limited to soliciting giggly guesses from them.

 

it's a tired rhetorical device to encourage guessing by eliminating two to three possibilites and include the previous interactions of the players with the 'puzzle'.

 

watch the end of any bad agatha christie movie for an illustration of this principle.

 

there is no angst in any of your posts. no real problem either, as i understand them.

 

if you are playing, say so. have at least the gumption to be 'straightforwardly coy'.

[Curt]

I agree Jenn...

 

Plot wasn't all that stimulating, not enough characters, out of place on a forum created for more serious issues...

 

I give it a thumbs down.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by secret member

I will, however say that it is not a supermodel. So right off the bat that rules out DerangedAngel, and Kevin.

The above, plus the change from "Anonymous Member" to "secret member" illustrates the desire by this poster for it to be a game. Evidently, some of us don't want to play, as the thread's *poof*-ing at midnight

[lostforwords]

gee secret member you better tell dave soon or he'll never see this thread..... JK.... lol why post about a crush.... just eitehr tell him or dont....