Love in Limbo

[Yvelysse]

I will attempt to be as terse but complete as possible.

 

I have a friend w/ benefits. Call him Dman. I have foolishly fallen in love with him (he asked me not too). I have more 'benefit' needs than he does. He is rather skittish to have sex on a daily basis (which is what I'd call minimal).

 

He will provide, protect, and try to fix but He will not profess (unless it's obviously a jest). I know by his caring attitude he has feelings for me, but I am not corresponded in the 'other' love manners.

 

Quote From Steve Harvey's book "think like a man act like a lady"

"But the more experienced man—the one who can read his lady's moods and tell when something is wrong—is going to ask her what's up, and no matter how many times she says, "nothing," he's going to ask again and again until she starts coming clean and opens up, though, in his heart of hearts, he will be hoping to God there's really nothing wrong, and if there is something wrong, he will be able to just fix it because he doesn't want to see her pout. Even when he thinks she is done talking, he'll push her until the issue is resolved because he can't leave it at, "Wow, sorry that happened." He will immediately launch into The Fix.

This is not to say you'll never have a conversation with your man that lasts longer than two minutes. We understand that sometimes we're going to have to give a little more in terms of communicating with you—that every now and then we're going to have to spill our guts and reveal what's going on in our heads. We also know that you may just want to lie in our arms and cuddle and talk it out with absolutely no resolution. We are capable of doing this, too. It's not easy. But it can be done. We know that sitting and listening and even participating in a long conversation about your feelings is necessary and inevitable."

 

As per this he is an 'experienced man'. Dman has been able to get the most emotional and verbal expressions from me. But he refuses to have and 'close contact' cuddling is a no-no. (He has done it once when he thought I was asleep.)

 

I'm at a loss in limboland because Dman is everything I need in any male. He knows how to talk to me, he know hows to 'shake that wang' and melts me to the core with his presence. How can I know if he remotely feels the same way towards me when intimacy is merely an act?

 

See how pathetically I have fallen in love? *crys*

[mizm89]

I would have to agree with love lace. At this point the only thing that you can do is profess your feelings to him. It is a big risk, but hopefully it will pay off for you. I was in the same situation with my FWB, we even would go out and do actual date like things, we cuddled and kissed and he and I even talked about marriage. I confessed him my feelings a long time ago, he made it easy to fall for him. But, he knew what he wanted in life (his girlfriend who lives in a foreign country) and I was not that. We are still FWBs and will be for another month now, he's moving out of state in December. Consider yourself lucky that the fact that you could end up with him and please don't keep it all to yourself. I've done that so many times in FWB relationships and only ended up getting hurt in the end. Good luck

[Yvelysse]

I have confessed I love him. (he asks me not to use the "l" word)

 

But your both very right. I guess it's time for me to decide what hill I'm gonna die on and take it.

 

I have been loathe to press this issue, but I refuse to make him my do or die project for the year. I will talk to him in December. I will make it my Xmas project. u.U *sigh*

[Yvelysse]

Duly noted!

 

It will be hard but the reality is: I don't want to walk down his merry garden path unless i know he will be there!

 

Thankies again!