Flirting Girlfriend

[DeppFan04]

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Alright, well, I have a problem with something my girlfriend did...We have been dating for about 5 1/2 monthes, and last weekend she went on a school function trip. She called me while she was gone and told me how much she missed me and stuff because we are truly very close, but on the way home, she flirted with another guy - just joking around and laughing, and she layed her head down on his shoulder for like 2 seconds (as I'm told). She says that she has no feeling whatsoever for this guy (which happens to be a friend of mine). She says that she was just trying to be friendly, which is understandable I suppose because she's not the most popular person. She's never done anything of the sort before, but I just don't know whether I can trust her or not now because she was telling me all about how she missed me and was even thinking about me when she was flirting with him. I just wonder if the guy had flirted back with her instead of keeping his cool being respectful to me, if something would have escalated. I wonder if she'd go so far as to cheat on me.

After talking with her about it, she says that she will never do it again. She says she doesn't even want to talk to other guys, because she doesn't want to hurt me. She says she didn't know it would hurt me for her to flirt. It wouldn't bother me except for the fact that we are so close. I don't know if maybe she doesn't love me as much as she says she does... It just sucks because she has told me before that I'm "the only guy for her" and "she wants to spend the rest of her life with me" and then she goes out and flirts around.

If you want to say anything please remember these things:

a) we are very close and very open with eachother

b) she tells me she loves so much all the time

c) says she promises to fix it - never do it again

 

Should I trust her considering she has said it before? I know this might sound kind of stupid to some, but nothing like this has ever happened before and I thought I gave her enough attention for her not to do this...any HELPFUL comments would be appreciated.

[dyermaker]

She says she doesn't even want to talk to other guys, because she doesn't want to hurt me.

 

Ack! Please remove the leash from her neck.

[Fofinha]

Hmmm...i'm not sure how old you both are. Both her behavior and your reaction seem very childish to me. Honestly, what she did, is really no big deal, it's your relationship that actually worries me. There seems to be a lot of "possession" involved and that is never healthy. I'm with dyermaker concerning the "leash" issue.

[Guest]

I wouldn't be too concerned about the small flirting that your girlfriend did. You mentioned that she only put her head on his shoulder for 2 seconds. If she cuddled up with him and took a nap on his shoulder it would be one thing, but she may have just gotten caught up in the moment. Is she friends with him too? I find myself flirting with some of my male friends, only because I have known them for so long and I know I don't want anything from them (and they know that too). My boyfriend is okay with it, too, because he knows I don't want anything from them. We just have a bond where I feel close enough to be totally comfortable with them.

 

It could also be like you said--your girlfriend is trying to be social and maybe she doesn't know another way. She could be trying to get in good with your friend as the "cool and fun" girlfriend so that he likes her. It's always easier when you and your significant other's friends get along. Some girls feel so insecure with their personalities that they resort to flirting to get reactions from people. It sounds like she was not intentionally trying to hurt you, and I think you should trust her that she won't do it again.

 

Don't forget to focus on the fact that she took the time to call you and tell you how much she missed you. That's a great sign that you were on her mind. I'd be more worried if she didn't...