I hit my mother again but don't feel too remorseful

[samsungxoxo]

It has now been 4 years later since the last time we had overheated argument. It happened today and it would now be the 3rd time.

 

Well I hit her back.... she started.

 

Does this make me an aggressive person still?

 

I must say this time there were no ''I'm sorry mother'' coming from me.

 

I just explained to her that it wouldn't matter again and thought it was wrong on my part to hit her, she shouldn't be provoking nor treating me like a child. I also went on saying how saying certain hurtful words can impact my feelings too.

 

I obviously wouldn't have talk back if she would just shut up nor hit back if she didn't went on slapping me.

[laRubiaBonita]

Don't live your life with regrets but live your life to the fullest......

 

so maybe there are no regrets for now, but are you living your life to 'the fullest' when you resort to violence? or is that the easier way out?

[samsungxoxo]

Don't live your life with regrets but live your life to the fullest......

 

so maybe there are no regrets for now, but are you living your life to 'the fullest' when you resort to violence? or is that the easier way out?

I really thought these aggressive tendencies had disappeared but seems like they reemerged again.

[laRubiaBonita]

just know- i hear i may come across salty at times.... (this is not my lame attempt to be snarky)

 

but what if i told you something that just grates me when i hear it?

[samsungxoxo]

just know- i hear i may come across salty at times.... (this is not my lame attempt to be snarky)

 

but what if i told you something that just grates me when i hear it?

Such as what???

I'm sure we all get tick off at some point. While others know how to handle themselves better, some still may lack self-control at certain times.

[laRubiaBonita]

you acted like/ emulated your mother.

 

why?

[samsungxoxo]

you acted like/ emulated your mother.

 

why?

I guess emotions got the best of me, wasn't really thinking in that moment.

I recalled that in my job, one of my supervisors told us that at some point we're all animals and will like that. I guess that must be true too and it happens to all of us.

[threebyfate]

How did you feel in the past, when your mother hit you? Do you respect her much as a mother or as a person?

[samsungxoxo]

How did you feel in the past, when your mother hit you?

When she first hit me 4 years ago, anger is the main emotion coming from me so I hit her back. This is really only the 3rd time after 4 years later so it's not as if it were happening on a daily basis.

Do you respect her much as a mother or as a person?

I love my mother and do respect her..... I think we just happen to have the same temper. If you have an attitude but the person you're lashing out to has the same reaction, then you're in trouble. This is what happened to my mother. I'm definitely not a push-over that lets people get away with disrespecting me and this includes my mother.

 

Ok next time, I'll just go lock myself in my room then so she doesn't have anyone to argue with but the walls. Let's see if she likes talking by herself.... LOL

[pureinheart]

It has now been 4 years later since the last time we had overheated argument. It happened today and it would now be the 3rd time.

 

Well I hit her back.... she started.

 

Does this make me an aggressive person still?

 

I must say this time there were no ''I'm sorry mother'' coming from me.

 

I just explained to her that it wouldn't matter again and thought it was wrong on my part to hit her, she shouldn't be provoking nor treating me like a child. I also went on saying how saying certain hurtful words can impact my feelings too.

 

I obviously wouldn't have talk back if she would just shut up nor hit back if she didn't went on slapping me.

 

No one should lay hands on anyone, I think you two should stay away from each other, or make a pact not to lay hands on the other.

 

I would suggest councelling bigtime!

 

You speak of being provoked. We are provoked everyday, all of the time, by almost everyone in some shape or form. How will we react? There is a time to react and a time not to react and how we react is extremely important.

 

I am speaking from experience as I have grown up in an area and have a rather large family and they all played for keeps sometimes. I learned to play for keeps in a sense.

 

Hey take care and get some help...k...(((((((hugs to you and your mom)))))) and happy holidays:)

[samsungxoxo]

Hey take care and get some help...k...(((((((hugs to you and your mom)))))) and happy holidays:)

I will sometime so this isn't possibly carried on in the future. I just hope the sessions aren't too costly since I'm saving enough money to one day head back to the US.

[harmfulsweetz]

I agree with pureinheart. You need to get help, both of you. Resorting to violence isn't going to solve anything. I'd suggest walking away in future. But then I'd also suggest some distance between the two of you while you work on your issues.

 

We all want to lash out, so instead of hitting her, why not try something else? Say a cuss word or something. Or very simply, walk away. By hitting her back, you're only fuelling the fire, and being like her.

 

Can't say I've never lashed out violently before, I have. To my Mam too. She said something and I lashed out, I've thrown things at her, slapped her, etc, and she has me too, but I've since learned to deal with it. I walk when I sense it's going to go that way, because I know it's immature and downright wrong. I'd like to blame that spell on the fact that I was only a teenager, but it doesn't make it right or excuse it.

 

You need to seek help for this, or you will continue to react this way with other people.

[Els]

I think you need to learn how to walk away before it comes to that stage.

[debby]

It has now been 4 years later since the last time we had overheated argument. It happened today and it would now be the 3rd time.

 

Well I hit her back.... she started.

 

Does this make me an aggressive person still?

 

I must say this time there were no ''I'm sorry mother'' coming from me.

 

I just explained to her that it wouldn't matter again and thought it was wrong on my part to hit her, she shouldn't be provoking nor treating me like a child. I also went on saying how saying certain hurtful words can impact my feelings too.

 

I obviously wouldn't have talk back if she would just shut up nor hit back if she didn't went on slapping me.

 

These are examples of the kinds of things an abuser says who blames the abused person for provoking them into commiting the abuse. "I wouldn't hit you if you didn't make me so mad" blahblahblah. You need to seek help. You and your mother may have a toxic blend of personalities, but hitting her is wrong, wrong, wrong.

[samsungxoxo]

These are examples of the kinds of things an abuser says who blames the abused person for provoking them into commiting the abuse. "I wouldn't hit you if you didn't make me so mad" blahblahblah. You need to seek help. You and your mother may have a toxic blend of personalities, but hitting her is wrong, wrong, wrong.

So I might be displaying traits of an potential future abuser but yet I'm a woman.

I can understand why certain men are abuser and it might be due to extremely high levels of testosterones but in my case, I don't know what is it on ocassional I can be mild-short tempered.

 

There was one time my now ex BF (when he was my BF at the time and we were in the same place) got me upset. It was on a mall and he was correcting me at something so it created an argument at a mall. Being angry, I punched a wall in front of him and walked outside for several minutes else foul words would have come out of my mouth.

 

So come to think of it, I don't know if this is just my mother and I issue that took place or me with others in general though I have large amount of self-control on my job position.

[samsungxoxo]

I think you need to learn how to walk away before it comes to that stage.

This is what I'll be doing in the future so then she can talk by herself all she walks too since walls do nothing.

[Ross PK]

These are examples of the kinds of things an abuser says who blames the abused person for provoking them into commiting the abuse. "I wouldn't hit you if you didn't make me so mad" blahblahblah. You need to seek help. You and your mother may have a toxic blend of personalities, but hitting her is wrong, wrong, wrong.

 

I think you missed the main point that the reason why she hit her mum, was because her mum started slapping her.

[samsungxoxo]

I think you missed the main point that the reason why she hit her mum, was because her mum started slapping her.

This was basically the reason but it was still wrong. I should have walked away as soon as this argument started escalating.

[Ross PK]

This was basically the reason but it was still wrong. I should have walked away as soon as this argument started escalating.

 

Well, most people would hit back when hit, it's a natural defence mechanism. Unless you're either too scared too, or the person who hit you is a lot weaker than you.

[samsungxoxo]

Well, most people would hit back when hit, it's a natural defence mechanism. Unless you're either too scared too, or the person who hit you is a lot weaker than you.

She is slightly weaker than me. In addition I also have the advantage over her due to age differences so I guess this makes it wrong for me.

I think this is somewhat similar to what the man in the India Game did when getting slapped. He slapped back the woman as hard as possible. This was also wrong in his part. Seconds later he found himself getting beaten by many dudes and cried.... LOL

[Ross PK]

She is slightly weaker than me. In addition I also have the advantage over her due to age differences so I guess this makes it wrong for me.

I think this is somewhat similar to what the man in the India Game did when getting slapped. He slapped back the woman as hard as possible. This was also wrong in his part. Seconds later he found himself getting beaten by many dudes and cried.... LOL

 

Yeah, I remember seeing that on Youtube. I'm not really sure what to think.

[samsungxoxo]

Yeah, I remember seeing that on Youtube. I'm not really sure what to think.

That single action ruined his career, rep. and life permanently. The next example is the celebrity CB (Chris Brown) known for this stupidity.

I don't know what to think anymore either.... creepy people out there.

[samsungxoxo]

I'm hoping you are a girl that hit your mom.

 

My dad challenged me one day when I was 18, because I was going through some stuff. He was in the garage when I got off the bus with his sleeves rolled up. Asked me if I want to hit him lol. I had so much rage and emotion that I didn't hit him. I hugged him lol.... That is far as I can go with that story.

 

get the help you both need....it reallydepresses me to see this.

Since I'll be resuming classes this Jan. and working at the same time (might possibly go to a gym too.... if possible), there might not even be any room left for future arguments.

I don't know if it's true but there is an saying that when you're extremely busy there isn't even time to argue.... LOL

[samsungxoxo]

BAH!! that's only a patch and patches are temporary. You two have to get along and find someone to help yo uout with that. Some day yo uwill need your mommy or she will need you.

I'll definitely need a helping hand when it comes to cooking (she does it as I know very little and dislike the kitchen) but I give her money from my monthly paychecks and do help out at home with the other chores.

Work on it!

I'll be working on this as well too.

Years earlier (during my early-mid teen years) when I once saw on a talkshow how certain 13-17 year-old girls hit their mother, it was shocking and I really hated them. At the time I judged them harshly and they were on the ''losers with misfortunes'' awaiting for them category.

Now I can't say anything or it would be hypocrisy since I've done the same thing as they did. I pretty much will be eating my words.

 

Interesting part is mothers for the most part forgive easily without you ever even saying sorry. This is sweet because had I gotten into a fight with a friend or BF they would not want to talk to me again or think I'm crazy but not my mother.... she'll still talk to me, which means me even more guiltier.