Is My female friend Interested in me? or just really nice to me?

[bicyclejunk]

It's so hard to tell....And I'm a dummy when it comes to picking up on signs that a girl digs me...

 

 

I'm 27, my friend Jenny is 28. I've known her for about a year and a half. I think she's great, she's interesting and just a

great friend to have, she's caring, ambitious and really cool. We worked a theatre production job together

and stayed in contact because were into a lot of the same types of things as far as our professions go. we've worked

together since then, done some freelance stuff together, simply good friends and work contacts etc. But i've quit the theatre stuff and working a whole other new career.

I had a serious girlfriend when we met, but 2 months ago we broke up; We were together for 5 years.

 

Since then, Jen has been calling me a lot more for social type stuff. Asking me to the movies, concerts etc.

She's single. We've been buying each other little fun things here and there, books/cds etc. I know she has a lot of

friends, guys and girls. She's pretty well liked and always has guys asking her out. I'm just curious if she's just being nice or if she's into me or not because she's been buying me things and offered to get me anything when i was sick 2 weeks ago. She emails me a lot just to say hi and got excited when i asked her if she wanted to get dinner the other night. She said "YES!, i would love to". When we went out she looked like she got fixed up really nice, took her time...She was fixed up more than usual.

But i don't know, I could just be imagining things.

 

How can I tell if I'm just another friend or if she likes me in other ways??

[NatoPMT]

sounds like she likes you to me. if you are worried about being knocked back i would try a bit of physical contact like sitting close to her and arm touching see if she responds. it should be easy to tell - flirt with her and she how she reacts.

 

go go go.

[Cpunch75]

Just be yourself, even if you still remain friends youre still gonna have a good time. Who knows what she wants, but her responses sounds like she does like you.

 

Have fun!

[glasshammer]

not sure, i've never been able to read females very well. doesn't seem like she hates you.

she must enjoy you somewhat.

[Fofinha]

Hmmm...she really likes you.

[bicyclejunk]

Yeah, I guess. I just don't want to jump to any conclusions. She's pretty independent and

can take care of herself. She has guy friends and is pretty well-liked as I said. But she'll leave me

messages like: "hey you, I'm at home..Just gonna stay in and paint my nails, read etc. so if give me a

call later". When we talk on the phone it's usually for hours on end. Just about our lives, what we like, what

were into. She sent me an email today that said "wanna be my date for the movies on friday? Unless

you want to go with someone cooler, i'll understand Hee Hee".

 

I know i sound dumb, but i just don't want to jump to conclusions or get the wrong idea. I know she likes me,

but i just don't know in what way. I'm stupid when it comes to picking up signs that a girl digs me.

i'll guess tIME WILL TELL.

 

 

Thanks guys

[moimeme]

I think she likes you but that she's as worried as you are about making a wrong move. Keep responding positively to her positive responses; I expect you will both increase frequency and duration of contact and will sort of fall into dating.

[guest]

I behave the same way towards my friends.

 

In fact, I behaved the same way with my best guy friend. I was so comfortable with him, it got to the point where I didn't even think of him as a guy. As insensitive as it may sound, sometimes I'd ask him questions prefaced with "You're a guy, right?" To be fair, he did the same thing with me.

 

I'd often drag John to places where my boyfriend wouldn't go, i.e. shopping, foreign films, the boho district in our area. I too would say jokingly, "Wanna come as my date?"

 

If you are interested in her, just be careful that you don't fall in the "Guy Friend who might as well be a Girl" category.

[guest]

I don't know about your friend, but I'm the way I am with my friends because I'm a rescuer type of person (a mother earth type, I guess) so I like to fuss over my friends.

[bicyclejunk]

okay, but as many friends as I know she has....She calls me everyday and emails me everyday, just to say hi and see

how my day is going.

 

 

Is that normal between a guy and a girl?

[moimeme]

Sounds to me like more than friends. Don't jump to conclusions yet. See what happens.

[NatoPMT]

i stand by my original advice - test it and see - it wont compromise either of you as you arent going in for a big talk about how you feel or anything - just see if she responds with every gesture you make and you will have your answer.

 

if she doesnt mirror your gestures, then back off, and you still have your friendship intact.

 

incidentally, i had this with one of my male friends - i tackled it and said i am not interested, and this morning he mailed me saying 'i dont know what you are talking about, i always thought of you as a big sister'. master of diplomacy i am. and excuse me?? big sister???

 

do as i say, not as i do.

[situationsmend]

sounds like since you say she gets guys asking her out all the time, she may be waiting on you to

ask her out. maybe she is nervous, doesn't know how to go about moving foward with you.

could be aslo that, she's trying to take time and give you space since you just got out of

a relationship.

 

does she actually go out with these guys that ask her out?

[SoleMate]

BigBelm is right on - body language works well to break through the shyness barrier you appear to be facing. When you're at the movies, eating, drinking, whatever, sitting on a park bench would actually be best...just snuggle a little closer and say something like, "This is really nice here with you." Squeeze her forearm. Give her a shy yet radiant smile and look at her in a caring way. If she says "Yeah...." and nestles closer, that's a positive. If she gets all crisp and businesslike, halt. If you get a positive response, you can combine words and actions in a less ambiguous way. "I always have such a good time whenever we're together. I really value our friendship, I don't want anything to mess it up...You look so beautiful and kissable tonight." She may be smiling shyly up at you through lowered lashes, with her face turned to mirror yours. If so, kiss her, once lightly, no tongues, just a caring kiss with eyes closed. Then open your eyes and check response. I'll bet you a nickel that she kisses you back and puts her arms around your neck. If so, you can take it from there, yes?

 

You asked her out on a DATE (the dinner), she accepted happily and got dressed up. She wouldn't do this if you were just one buddy among many. She's probably trying to figure you out too.

[bicyclejunk]

**UPDATE**

 

 

Well, I've since got back together with my ex-girlfriend of 5 years and now my friend Jenny,

 

Doesn't even call me anymore or if I call her, She won't call back for a couple days and just

 

say that she was so busy doing so much stuff. I think she liked me, right? I'm just curious

 

cuz when I was hanging out with her a lot(as friends) a few months ago, I started hanging out with My ex again

 

as well and...Well me and my ex decided to patch things up, and Jenny got wind of this and never said anything

 

to me, but all of the sudden stopped calling as often and was really hard to get a hold of all of the sudden.

 

Where before, she was calling me all the time and was always excited to hear from me. Anyway. I guess

 

She did like me and I feel bad because I feel like maybe I was leading her on in some way, when I was just

 

being myself. Anyway. Just had to write and get it off my chest in some way.

[reservoirdog1]

Since you're back with your girlfriend the suggestion isn't really applicable to you. But I've found a good way of telling if there's something more than "just friends" potential there.

 

Go for a drink together, and make a point of sitting on perpendicular sides of the table, not across from each other. After a little while, try touching the other person's hand lightly, during a pause in conversation, and see if it's reciprocated (i.e. if they try to take your hand in theirs). If they don't, then you've only put yourself out there minimally, and can probably get them to laugh it off. And if they DO reciprocate, then you have your answer.

[Curt]

Hey... Thanks for the update. It's great to see how things all progressed.

 

Wow ... strange how things between you and the ex got patched up as you were about to (perhaps) get into something new with Jenny.

 

Hmm ... do they know each other, and thereby, that would explain the ex's getting back with you ... sort of afraid she might lose ya? LOL - Just wondering if it was maybe the old NC rule coming into play there or something?

 

How did the reconciliation occur?

 

In any case, I guess Jenny ia just giving you space now that you're in the relationship with your ex again.

 

Fill us in man. Gotta pick this one apart for no-contact rule possibilities!

 

Curt

[bicyclejunk]

Well, me and my ex were so good together, but pretty much had to take a break after almost 5 years

 

to sort of reevaluate, if you will. During the break, i was torn up inside wanting to be with her, but chose to

 

turn my frustration and pain into work and creative stuff, hanging with friends more, etc.

 

That's when i started hanging with Jenny more. Got a cooler job, Made new friends. I think this sort

 

of made my Ex sort of see what she was missing out on, that The Boy who always loved her and

 

cherished her and gave her so much love and care and attention(Because I Did) was Now doing his own thing

 

And could possibly be snatched up by another girl. Maybe so, Maybe Not. But I firmly believed in the

 

"Get On With Your Life!" idea. Don't get consumed by sadness or get desperate. After a break-up, Get up

 

Dust yourself off and start fresh. Do things, Accomplish goals, etc.

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the advice.