purpleturtle Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font][color=darkblue][/color] I'm having a birthday party for my daughter this weekend and asked that everyone R.S.V.P. me by Monday. When I booked the childrens party I already signed a contract agreeing to pay 9 bucks a person after I give them the head count.Anyway... I invited a friend and her fiance(who asked to be invited in the first place) ,they rsvped to us Friday night while we were there visiting. I spent the whole night down at there house helping her plan a wedding last minute.She sprung it on me as I came in the door for a visit."Ok no problem,if no one will help you . I have a few minutes now,lets see what we can come up with" Finding it weird that she wasn't doing any of this with her mother instead,we went over alot of the planning and so she was all set to start booking.Right before we left they mentioned seeing us this weekend for the party. Now 3 days later, my hubby comes home from work and tells me that her man told him that she is supposed to be calling me to tell me that their plans changed.They got invited to a bachelorette/bachelor party Saturday night and decided to go to that instead of coming to the party.He thought that since he'd seen her and told her that I was home and to call and tell me herself that she would've done it already.Nope,no call.There way of telling me(knowing that I would definately say something about the rudeness) was telling my hubby so that he would mention it to me.The fiances idea is to come over here on Friday night to hang out and party until dawn.WTF?? Why would I want that? The kid is turning 3 ,not 21 for starters.And why would I want a bunch of drunks hanging out at my house keeping her up all night? My husband just looked at him like he'd lost his mind. He's going to be seeing her again tonight (since she goes to see her fiance every night during his dinner breaks) and he's going to tell them both that he didn't say anything to me about all this.She is just going to have to call me herself since I was told to be expecting a phone call. I feel so used.It feels like the only time that girl called me was to try to get me to plan her wedding.And talking to her Friday night I felt sorry for her and helped her out.And it feels like now that all the work is done she is done with me.We were so close at one time,but lately with us not being around since all they want to do is party.We drifted apart and don't see each other much.Friday night she put me on the spot again by asking me to be part of her wedding,I said ok but asked what she would want me to do.With having 2 kids I don't have alot of time and didn't want to commit to something and have to back out later.What did she have in mind? She said that she didn't know yet that she would have to talk to her man.And get back to me on that.WTF again? Five minutes later she asked me what a brides assistant does,I explained it to her.And she still said nothing.I started to get the feeling that I was going to be asked to not only help her plan a wedding(a few months ago she hinted to me to cook for 500 ppl,I said no) but also be at her beck and call for the next year and a half.Thats something that I don't have the time for,she has family why was she asking me.(She wants her wedding to be identical to mine)I politely explained that my youngest is starting school and the oldest is going to keep me busy also.If anything a small job in the wedding would be fine.(I have a special needs child who requires therapy 9 times a day and she knows that) I had to be honest,I knew what it was like to have attendants that were unreliable when I got married. She's 20 years old so she has a tendency to be dramatic.What I want to know is how to voice my opinions about the birthday party and the feeling used without it becoming an arguement? I have to get along with this woman because of the fact that our men spend about 40-46 hours a week together on the job.Working in close quarters,it would make it hard on them if we quareled again. Link to post Share on other sites
Sundaymorning Posted March 9, 2004 Share Posted March 9, 2004 let her know how you feel. if you dont really want this friendship anymore, end it. simple. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted March 12, 2004 Share Posted March 12, 2004 She's being inconsiderate, selfish and thoughtless, but blowing up at her would cause problems with more than you two. The next time she asks you to help with the wedding, smile sadly and say that you're sorry you won't be able to help out hardly at all with the wedding. Say that you are very busy with your kids and other things, she just would not be able to depend on you. If she continues to persist, just say you're sorry, but you're just too busy to help out. Link to post Share on other sites
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